UPJOKE
davisjohnsonblakelewisandersonrobinsonwilsonmurraymoorejacksonstewartcampbellevansharrisonclark

Williams Jokes

This is for Robin Williams

A man goes to see a doctor. Doctor asks what seems to be the trouble. The man says, "Doc, I'm depressed. Simply, I can't sleep sometimes, I can't eat, I feel down and irritable most days. I just can't feel 'happy.'"

The Doctor says, "I've got the perfect fix for you. In town tonight is the g...

Many people are surprised by the engagement of Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, but not me.

If I founded reddit I'd be searching for better servers too.

Venus Williams and Bruno Mars were sitting at a bar talking about where they were from.



The bartender said, "Hey - you two should write a book!"

A lawyer’s wife died. At her grave, everyone was appalled.

The tombstone read, “HERE LIES PHYLLIS, WIFE OF ATTORNEY MURRAY WILLIAMS; SPECIALIZES IN DIVORCE AND MALPRACTICE”.

Murray burst into tears. His brother said, “You SHOULD cry, pulling a cheap publicity stunt like this.”

Murray said, “You don’t understand. I gave them my business card.”<...

Graham Williams

Graham Williams is in Hospital
Who the hell is GRAHAM WILLIAMS ? I hear you ask.
Well Graham is the bloke who got home late one night and Helen his wife, says.
"Where the hell have you been?"
Graham replies.
"I was in town,,,, getting a tattoo!"
"A tattoo?" She frowned. "What ki...

People say to me Jesus was not Jewish

## I say ofcourse he was Jewish

+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents
+ Working in his father's business
+ His mother thought he was God's gift

## He's Jewish. Give it up

****
_by Robin Williams_

Happy Birthday Robin!

What is Serena Williams’ favorite number?

Ten is.

Williams College and Amherst College have a long-standing rivalry.

One night, the Amherst students decide to raid the Williams football field and spray paint an A for Amherst smack dab in the middle of the field. They sneak out under the cover of the dark, and when the Williams students wake up the next morning, they see the massive A on their field. Naturally, the...

Robin Williams

Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

Robin Williams, circa 1980

First cannibal complains, "I hate my mother-in-Law."

Second cannibal replies, "Ehh. Just eat the noodles."

I have invented microscopic robots that can form the face of Robin Williams.

I call them "nanu-nanubots."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's no surprise that the Williams sisters...

It's no surprise that the Williams sisters always win at tennis.

Black people have centuries of experience serving.

And appearing at the courts, for that matter.

I called Serena Williams. I said, “Serena, what’s your favorite planet?”

She said, “It’s Venus.”

Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?

Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams play basketball together?

He shoots, he scores!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Serena Williams and a shady Five Guys?

One serves you tennis balls and the other serves you ten-ish balls

I like my coffee like Serena Williams:

Black & bitter.

Lord Williams turns to his butler

Lord Williams turns to his butler: "Jones, please prepare my black suit and binoculars. I'm going to a funeral."

"But why do you need binoculars?" Asks Jones

"My distant relative has died." Says Lord Williams

One day, farmer Williams was in town

picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil. Then, he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchases home?

The livestock dealer said: "Why d...

How does Robin Williams go thrift shopping?

Good Will Hunting

Serena Williams was fined $17k

Verbal abuse of the umpire: $10,000

Being warned for coaching: $4,000

Breaking her racket: $3,000

Stealing the moment from Osaka by calling the umpire a thief: Priceless

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Venus Williams has blamed her first round exit at Wimbledon to the balls not bouncing correctly.

Venus Williams has blamed her first round exit at Wimbledon to the balls not bouncing correctly.

May I suggest for her to try some better fitting underwear?

Robbin Williams was on a talk show in Germany

They asked him, “Why do you think comedy is not big in Germany?”

“Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?”

“No.”

Why did the founder of Reddit, Alexis Ohanian, get married to the tennis superstar Serena Williams?

Redditors are always looking for better servers.

Serena Williams' nickname should be...

Tennessee Williams

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is it too soon for a Robin Williams Joke?

It's been a few weeks, so I think the waters are safe for this joke I told my cousin:


David Carradine and Robin Williams are in heaven, Carradine looks at Williams and says, "what do you mean you weren't jerking off?"

Robin Williams joke from Bicentennial Man

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Robbie Williams are walking along the street.

Kylie trips, jamming her head in some railings. Robbie, quick as a flash, pulls down her knickers and fucks her ball-deep senseless. He turns to Elton and says, "your turn!" but Elton starts to cry. "What's wrong, Elton?" asks Robbie. Elton sobs, "My head won't fit through the railings!"

My favorite Robin Williams joke

U2 is playing a concert in Scotland, and as a hush comes over the crowd, Bono starts clapping his hands above his head very slowly.

As he claps, he tells the crowd, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." And a man stands up in the back of the room, and shouts "Then stop clappi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fella working at a Sherwin-Williams store has a particularly challenging customer one day.

It's a Saturday morning, so the shop is pretty busy; there's quite the line of people needing paint mixed up. This lady's completely out of place; dressed to the nines, talk-to-the-manager haircut, the works. She hands our man Joe a tiny paint chip and says, "I need this exact color. It has to be pe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Venus and Serena Williams were having breakfast...

when Serena says to Venus "I think Dad's been putting steroids or something in our cereal". Venus says "Why do you think that?". Serena leans forward and speaking in a low voice says "I'm starting to get hair where I didn't have any before". "Like where??" Venus asks. "All over my cock and balls...

What's Serena Williams' favorite time of day?

Ten-ish.

What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon?

The 'mons of Venus.

My friends and I are all dressing as different Robin Williams characters at a Comic Con this weekend...

We're the Suicide Squad!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.