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Brian Sullivan can do everything

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, ...

Mrs O’ Sullivan hears the doorbell and opens the front door of her house

Standing in the rain, is her husbands best friend, Paddy.

"Hello Paddy, but where is Seamus? I thought he went with you to the brewery"

Paddy shook his head. "Ah Aileen, there was a terrible accident at the brewery, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned"

Mrs O’ Su...

Two Irishmen sat at a bar...

To pass the time, they began to get to know each other.

“Where you from, laddie?” said the first

“Oh, I’m from Dublin, ya see” said the second.

“Oh ya don’t say! I’m from Dublin, too! What parish were ye in?”

“Oh I was in the St. Thomas parish, ya see”

“Ya dont say...

Father Sullivan and Rabbi Cohen were sitting on a park bench discussing the differences and similarities of their respective religions.

After some time, a young boy rode by on a bicycle. Father Sullivan leaned over and whispered to Rabbi Cohen, “wow look that kid, I’d really like to screw him.”

To which Rabbi Cohen replied, “what do you mean ‘screw him’? Screw him out of WHAT?”

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Little Johnny and George are talking in the classrom

Johnny:"Listen, I need you to do me a favor, George... Mrs. Sullivan gave me a F in sex ed...!"

George:" Woa, that sucks. What do you want me to do?"

Johnny:" When she walks into the classroom, raise her skirt so I can kick her in the balls!"

Irish Airways

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, this is your capt'n S Murphy O'Sullivan welcoming you to Irish Airlines! We apologise for the 4 day delay in takin' off, sadly this was unavoidable due to to the bad weather and happy hour at Ó Ceallaighs' bar.

This is flight 367 to Shannon Airport, Landi...

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A timeless, Irish classic.

About twenty years ago, the Irish government decided to set up a secret service, much like MI5 in the UK. The three best Gardai (Irish police officers) were selected to participate in a number of tests in order to determine who would receive the coveted title of 001.
The three Gardai, each repres...

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A man moves to New York and needs to get his clothes drycleaned...

He finds an advertisement for a drycleaners owned by a "Paul O'Sullivan." To his surprise, once the man arrives, he finds the store to be owned by a Chinese man, the owner had set up Chinese lanterns across the window sill, he had a clear Chinese accent, and wrote down his notes in Chinese. The man ...

Uncle just told me this one.

There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, "Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here?"

The man answers, "Yeah, I live down the street."
"No kidding?" says the first man, "Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where di...

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So a man is sitting on a plane...

And he sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in the aisle. He gets excited as he realizes she is coming to sit down in the seat beside him.
The most beautiful woman he's ever seen is coming to sit down beside him!
Once the woman sits they wait in silence for a moment before beginnin...

A velociraptor on long island...

I made this up the other day. I don't have high hopes but what the hell:

One day a velociraptor moved to Long Island. He was sick of life in the jungle and decided to try new things. Walking down the street one day, the velociraptor noticed a 'Help Wanted' sign resting on a diner window. Thi...

Father and son at the zoo...

A boy goes to the zoo with his father. They’re at the Primates section. The father asks the boy, “Do you know what that animal is?” And the boy says “Yeah… a monkey.” The father smiles, “No son… that’s an orangutan! Orangutans are apes!”

Across the park… the father asks the boy, “What animal ...

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