Jenkins Jokes

They’re explaining how him smoking weed led to his condition worsening.

“But it’s just herbal!” the patient protested. “How can it be bad?”

Dr Jenkins sighed. “Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden - if you sit under it for just te... read more

Hello, is that Mr Jenkins?

Yes, how can I help you?

Hi, This is little Billy’s music teacher calling

Oh, hi

Yeah, hi. I just wanted to let you know it looks like you have a little Elvis Presley on your hands!

Really? Wow! That’s..

Yeah, we just found him dea... read more

"Hey, you! Soldier! Get over here! What's your name?"

"John."

"John?! What the hell kind of army do you think this is? John! I never call my soldiers by their first names. It breeds familiarity and leads to a breakdown in discipline. I only ever call my soldiers by their last names: Sm... read more

... sensing his time is near he beckens for his wife to join his side. She sits down next to him and clutches his hand and leans in to hear what he has to say.

In a shakey voice he says: "Maybel, when I die, I want you to marry Jenkins."

Taken back a moment, she looks at her husband an... read more

"Jenkins!" the boss screamed. "I need you to go to China. The factory reports that they are turning out product as fast as they possibly can, but that just can't be right. I need you to go see what's going on."

So on Tuesday, Jenkins flew to Shanghai and drove to the factory, where he persona... read more

During the development of a new jet fighter aircraft the wings on the prototypes kept snapping off where they joined the fuselage. The test-pilots who only barely survived by ejecting in time were terrified. No amount of re-design seem to solve the problem, so the aircraft company in desperation off... read more

Bubba Jenkins had been attending A&M for 8 years without graduating. Finally, the faculty breaks down and agrees that if he can answer one math question, they'd allow him to graduate. The entire student body is gathered in the auditorium. A professor asks, "Bubba, what is 7 times 7?"

He t... read more

His choices are a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer.
His test is simple: Whoever can determine the volume of a red rubber ball will be the new chief advisor, provided his explanation makes sense to the king, and that the king can trust the calculation.

The physicist goes firs... read more

He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?"

The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two".

The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm v... read more

An hour into the flight, the plane began losing altitude. Acting quickly, the pilot decided it was necessary to airdrop items to be tracked down later in order to reach the nearest airport.

First to go was the Base Commander's new Humvee. Next was a large crate of MREs. Finally, a crate of t... read more