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Good For You Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy in Brooklyn is outside of a candy shop shoveling candy in his mouth. A man approaches the boy and says, "Don't eat candy, kid. It's not good for you."

The boy replied, "My grandfather lived until he was 97."

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"Really," said the man. "Did he eat a lot of candy, too?"

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The boy replied, "No, but he minded his own fucking business."

Did you know that birthdays are good for your health?

It’s a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays live longer

I've been told green beans are good for you

But how can they be better than the other jelly bean colors?

Swimming’s good for you

Especially if you’re drowning

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know cucumbers are really good for your memory?

Someone shoved one up my ass 20 years ago, and I still remember it!

Birthdays are good for you.

The more you have, the longer you live.

Brainwashing is good for you

No one wants a dirty mind

If someone says Tequila is good for you

Take it with a pinch of salt

Milk is good for you

Casein point.

What do you call pizza that's good for your teeth?

Stuffed-Crest pizza.

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses

So my doctor told me a glass of wine a day is good for you

Good thing I have 4 doctors

Why is gigabit internet good for you?

Because it's high in fiber!

haha, I'll show myself out...

New research shows that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy and as good for you as a 20 minute jog.

So now I’m sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.

If sperm is good for your skin and makes you look younger?

Then how come my hands both look the same age

Did you know that bathing in cows' milk is good for your legs?

After all, it was originally made for calves.

So I'm in a bar the other day and the guy next to me was drinking brake fluid, I said "you know that stuffs no good for you?!"

He said, "its fine, I can stop anytime"

A man suddenly appeared at the gates of Hell… (Story Joke)

He looked up to see the Devil sitting at a chair.

“Hello my friend,” The Devil said kindly, “How are you this fine eternity?”

“A bit confused,” the man replied, “I didn’t realise that I was dead.”

“I understand,” the Devil said sympathetically, “Why don’t you tell me how you go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was told my joke belonged on this sub. (Original)

Two men are riding the subway in a big city, when one looks over to the other and says, "Say, how did you get those scratches all over your arms and face?"

The second man says, "Oh, these? I have an asshole cat who won't stop scratching me, but I'm about to rehome him to a friend. I'm actua...

What do you call a fish that is good for your bones?

An orthopedic sturgeon.
:D ?

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