Birthdays are good for you.

The more you have, the longer you live.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy in Brooklyn is outside of a candy shop shoveling candy in his mouth. A man approaches the boy and says, "Don't eat candy, kid. It's not good for you."

The boy replied, "My grandfather lived until he was 97."

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"Really," said the man. "Did he eat a lot of candy, too?"

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The boy replied, "No, but he minded his own fucking business."

Swimming’s good for you

Especially if you’re drowning

Brainwashing is good for you

No one wants a dirty mind

Birthdays are good for you.

Statistics say that people who have the most, live the longest.

So my doctor told me a glass of wine a day is good for you

Good thing I have 4 doctors

New research shows that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy and as good for you as a 20 minute jog.

So now I’m sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.

Milk is good for you

Casein point.

So I'm in a bar the other day and the guy next to me was drinking brake fluid, I said "you know that stuffs no good for you?!"

He said, "its fine, I can stop anytime"

Why is gigabit internet good for you?

Because it's high in fiber!

haha, I'll show myself out...

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know cucumbers are really good for your memory?

Someone shoved one up my ass 20 years ago, and I still remember it!

What do you call pizza that's good for your teeth?

Stuffed-Crest pizza.

A man completely blindsided his wife of 2 years, asking her for a divorce.

Although she was shocked and heart-broken, she asked the man *why* he wanted a divorce.

**Man:** Do you remember when we first met?

**Wife:** Yes…

**Man:** Well back then I had awesome long hair, I didn’t have a car but I had a janky motorcycle that I loved, I worked in a Bar,...

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God said man should not be alone.

God told Adam, it is not good for you to be alone, I will make you a woman! She will do all the work, hunting , fishing cooking and cleaning, she will never say no to sex and will do all your bidding, you will have it made. What do you think said God? Adam replied “what will this cost me”? God repli...

Did you know that birthdays are actually good for your health?

Studies have shown that a person who has more birthdays live the longest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench, eating six bars of chocolate.

A man walked up and noticed Johnny devouring the sweets.

“Son,” said the man, “eating too much candy isn’t good for you.”

“My grandfather lived to be 100,” Johnny replies.

“Did he eat six chocolate bars a day, too?” the man asks.

“No,” said Johnny, “He minded his own fuck...

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A woman always has a visit from her lover while her husband is at work.

One day the nine-year-old son hides in the closet to watch what the two are doing ... Suddenly the husband comes home and the wife hides her lover in the closet.

The son whispers: "Dark in here ..."

The man: "Oh... it's you! Ehm... yes, you are right. It is dark in here."

The s...

The benefits of F***ing

1.F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day.

2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body.

3. F***ing refreshes you.

4. After F***ing, don't eat too much; go for more liquids.

5. Try F***ing in bed 'cause it can save you valuable energy....

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