The 129+ Best Make Jokes

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3 guys bet on who can make their wife scream more from sex

They make the bet and decide to all go home and have sex with their wives and compare results the next day.

Next day comes along and they meet to discuss. Guy #1 says “I fucked my wife so hard, she was screaming for like 20 minutes.” Guy #2 says “that’s nothing. I fucked my wife with a dildo...

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My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But I refused.

If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.

The Democrats have a plan to make the Republicans sound stupid.

Operation "Just Let Them Talk"

I got to a party and the host said, “Make yourself at home”, so I got comfortable.

Turns out English was not his first language, and he was asking me to leave.

A Frenchman, an Italian and a Russian all end up in hell. The Frenchman begs to make one last call home to see how his family is coping. The devil says fine, it’ll cost you an extra thousand years in the flames. The Frenchman agrees, and tearfully listens to his wife doing his brother.

The Italian begs to call home to see how his daughters are doing. That’ll be an extra thousand years in the flaming pit, says the devil. So be it, says the Italian, and weeps as he listens to his children selling the farm.

Now I want to call home, says the Russian, and grabs the receiv...

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."

After a brief chuckle, the vendor makes the hot dog and gives it to the monk, saying "That will be $4 please". After the monk hands over a $10 bill, he finds himself waiting uncomfortably while the vendor does nothing except stare back at him.

Awkwardly the monk asks "What about my change?" ...

I absolutely HATE when people make a post subtly implying it's their cake day, just so people can wish them.

You won't catch me doing that today.

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A man walks into a hotel lobby with his family and whispers to the front desk clerk, "make sure the porn in my room is disabled". To which the clerk replies:

We only have regular porn you sick fuck!

Guys, abortion may be illegal soon. If you accidentally get a girl pregnant, make sure she’s an anti-vaxxer.

Instead of paying for 18 years of child support, you’ll only have to pay for 3.

A blonde got caught in a blizzard… It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.

She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her dad's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure en...

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A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast.

I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress hi...

A guy boards an airplane to Detroit and makes his way to his seat where he notices the guy sitting next to him looks very worried. He asks him if he's afraid of flying.

"No, my company is moving me to Detroit. I've heard terrible things about Detroit; I'm worried about my family."

The guy tells him, "Look, it's not at all like the rumors. I've lived in Detroit my whole life. Find a nice home in a nice suburb, get your kids into a decent school, the community...

This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all, I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!

Afterwards she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She giggled, "The egg timer's broken."

It’s true women do make less money than men

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

C'mon guys don't make fun of Amber Heard's lawyer

He probably gets enough abuse from her as it is

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The best joke I’ve ever heard which never fails to make me smile whenever I remember it.(NSFW)

Three explorers get lost in a huge jungle. After wandering around for days, they are found and captured by a jungle tribe. The tribesmen take the explorers to their leader and drop them at his feet. The chieftain looks at them for a moment and says, “ The three of you will die unless you manage to d...

Why do Texas women make sandwiches with their left hands?

Because they have no rights.

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A guy was in an elevator one day & noticed an attractive woman running to make it before the door closed.

He held the door for her to get in and then politely asked her “what floor?” “3rd floor” she replied, “ I come here once a month to donate blood & they pay me $50”
“That’s a coincidence” said the guy because I come here once a month myself, donate semen & they pay me $200”. Just then th...

Why don’t Americans make jokes about mass shootings?

Because it’s always too soon.

TIL in germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease other coeliacs will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcomed.

It's called gluten tag.

Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . .

At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.

My wife of 61 years said let's go upstairs and make love.

I told her "Choose one, I can't do both."

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Why women make better assassins....

The CIA had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you...

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My wife came up to me the other day and said "Do these jeans make me look fat?"

I said "Do you promise not to get mad at me no matter what I say?"

"Yes"

"Okay, I fucked your sister."

One night, Pinnochio’s girlfriend says to him, “This stinks. Every time we make love I get splinters.”

So Pinnochio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice. Gepetto says, "Sandpaper,
my boy, that's all you need."

A few days later Gepetto runs into Pinnochio and says, "So
how are you doing with the girls now?"

Pinnochio says, "Who needs girls?"

I used to make jokes at work during meetings, and I could really get people laughing. Then COVID hit, and all our meetings were online. I'd still make jokes, but no one would laugh...

Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn't find me remotely funny.

Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team-up and make a medicine to treat erectile dysfunction,

and name it ElonGates.

Magician: I can make anything disappear

Tom: ***holding cup*** do it to my tea!

Magician: ***waves hand*** done!

om: ***holding cup*** it didn’t work.

Good thing Chris rock didn’t make fun of hilaria baldwin.

Too soon?

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A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath".
The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"
The blo...

Saw the CEO arriving to work in a Ferrari this morning. He noticed i was looking and he told me "if you work hard for this company, if you stay overtime without asking compensation, if you truly believe you can make a difference and instill the same passion into your colleagues...

... then probably next year I'll be able to go for a Lambo"

Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared.

Apparently only DC movies can do that.

You shouldn't make fun of fat people.

They've got enough on their plates already.

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A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the church was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little talk at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had s...

A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, "I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes."

The pharmacist says, "Ma'am, not only can I not do that for you, I’m going to have to call the police and report you."

The woman removes something from her pocket and hands it to him. He looks at it and discovers that it’s a picture of her husband making love to the pharmacist's wife.
...

I'm assuming that none of the Jenners ask Kylie to make breakfast.

Since she can't even beat an egg

Edit:
Whoa, front page, im ashamed. Thank you kind stranger for the silver oh, you made my day!

King Charles will not make as many foreign visits as Queen Elizabeth did.

Because the Queen could go any distance but the King can only move one space at a time.

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh?

Ten-tickles.

Of course it only has 8 of those.

So the first two were test-tickles!

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A redneck is on his honeymoon about to make love, when his wife says...

"Wait, honey, there's somethin' I need you to know. I'm a virgirn"
"WHAT THE FUCK?" The man shouts, and he punches her in the face, knocks her out. He wraps her in the bedsheets, drags her down the stairs and out the door, throws her into the back of his pickup truck, and drives on over to her da...

How do you make an atheist?

Raise a Catholic

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."

Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."

And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

LMAO IM AT MY SCHOOL TALENT SHOW AND DUDE SAYS “Before I begin, I want to make sure this mic is working”

“If your name is Michael, please stand up”

Then a couple dudes stand up

And he goes “That concludes the mike check”

stolen from twitter @ cheyrubi

A colon in a sentence can make a huge difference

For example:

Johnny ate his own lunch after school.

Johnny ate his own colon after school.

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It was getting crowded in Heaven one day, so Saint Peter decided for one day to only accept people who could make him laugh.

A man came walking up to the pearly gates and Saint Peter said to him:

“Alright bud, you’re only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why don’t you tell me about how you died”

The man looked at Saint Peter and said

“Oh man it was awful, I was absolutely SURE my wife wa...

What sound does a Turkey make?

"coup coup"

Can a woman make her husband a millionaire?

Of course, if he’s a billionaire.

I really think OSHA should make an OnlyFans account

They're some of the leading experts in NSFW content after all

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One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expected...BAAM!!!

I'll fuck their boyfriends

Doctor: (handing me my new born baby) I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it

Me: (handing baby back to him) Bring me the one my wife made

How do you make a water bed more bouncy?

You use spring water.

The nurse hands a man his newborn and says "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."

He responds "well give me the one my wife made."

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Dave cannot make his wife cum.

He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

"Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

"Then get some air-con"

"I can't afford air-con, I'm too poor"

"Well, Dave, do you h...

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Oral sex will make your day,

but anal sex will make your hole weak.

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A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely.” To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.

The first student raises his hand and says, “The sky is definitely blue.”

The teacher says, “Well, that isn’t entirely correct, because sometimes it’s gray and cloudy.”

Another student says, “Grass is definitely green.”
The teacher again replies, “If grass doesn’t get enough wate...

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A sperm cell contains about 37.5 MB of information. There are about 100 million sperm cells per ml; the average ejaculation is about 2.25ml, and takes about 5 seconds. This makes the average bandwidth of the human penis 1687 TB/sec

I know, that's a lot of information to swallow.

A policeman is driving past a roadside apple stand when he notices the sign: "Apple seeds, guaranteed to make you smarter, $20 per seed."

He pulls over and informs the vendor that it is fraud and false advertising to make absurd claims like this.

"No, no, no," the vendor tells the cop, "my apples are a special variety. A scientific miracle. Buy just one seed, eat it, and you will notice an increase in intelligence. If not, I pr...

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."

"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

Today one of my friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.

It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.

I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures

A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.

A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he to...

My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti...

You should have seen her face as I drove pasta

I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back

Nobody laughed at first, but eventually everyone got it.

Do you know how to make $20B in the Tech business?

Start with $44B

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night when behind him he hears: Bump! BUMP! BUMP! Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him!!

BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him.

FASTER! FASTER! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP!

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

However, the casket...

How does Rob Zombie make brownies?

EGGS, milk and flour and
BAKE, for half an hour and
FROST, with the back of my
SPATULA!

Edit - Yes I understand it would be better with CAKE and not BROWNIES.

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I work in a factory that makes McDonalds french fries...

One of co-workers told me yesterday that he's always wanted to put his dick in the Potato Peeler. I tried to talk him out of it, but I could tell he had already made his mind up to do it. I saw him today; he was clearing out his desk. "So you went ahead and did it?" "Yeah, and I got caught, so they ...

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A man and his wife were getting dressed for a big event. After putting on her dress, she asked her husband, "does this dress make my ass look fat?"

The husband sighed, and asked his wife, "Honey, do you promise me you won't get mad, no matter how I answer?"

His wife said, "I promise, I'll never bring it up again."

The husband looked her over and said, "I fucked your sister."

It is unfair how for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes $0.78...

Because then the man is left with only $0.22...

EDIT: Wow, this blew up on my way home.

Yes, this joke is from Bo Burnham as others have so nicely pointed out. Check out his work; he is a comedic genius.

If pronouncing b’s as v’s makes me sound Russian

Then Soviet

I was going to make a fat joke

It didn't work out.

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Why do retired Nazis make good animal doctors?

Because they're all Veteran Aryans.

TIL "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound.

At least, I'm pretty sure...

FP Edit: Jesus RIP my inbox with "sure." Thanks for all the support and hilarious counter examples provided!

FP of Reddit! I'd like to thank all of you commenters and my dad and I love you all so much! Oh! And the ones salty about my edits, you guys really ...

A coma in a sentence can make a huge difference

For instance,

“Let’s eat, Bob.”

has a completely different meaning from

“Bob is in a coma.”

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A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

An engineer had a sign in front of his clinic that said, "Medical consultation for only $50. If I can't make you better, I will pay you $100."

A doctor, knowing he can stump the engineer and wanting to get some cash, goes straight to the engineer. "Hey," he says. "I lost my sense of taste. I can't taste any food anymore."

The engineer takes a small bottle from his drawer, told the doctor to take his tongue out, and put 15 drops of t...

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A guy goes up to a woman in a bar and says, "I'm gonna make your nipples hard"...

She says, "Oh, yeah...? My husband will kick your ass"...

He says, "And then I'm gonna turn you upside-down, pour beer in your pussy, and then guzzle it all down"...

She says, "That's it, I'm gonna tell my husband, and he's gonna kick your ass but real good"...

She goes home to ...

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.

It's just another day at the United States Bureau of Engraving and Printing.

Two of the wealthiest men in the world suffer from ED. They team up to make a new drug and call it...

Elongates

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My first ever dirty-ish joke I ever heard, still makes me laugh….. A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home

The man asks how his father is settling in.

“Oh, it’s wonderful son, I’ve made some great friends, I’m well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a viagra before bed every night”.

When, leaving, curious to know about the viagra, he asks a nurse.

“Excuse me,...

This guy shows up at a farm and says he knows how to make animals speak

The farmer says, "That's ridiculous."

So the guy walks up to the farmer's cow and says "Moo moo moo."

The cow replies in English, "Oh, thank you for asking. He generally treats me very well. He milks me promptly at 5:30am every morning. If I had one suggestion, I wish he'd change the w...

This woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband's funeral.

She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit.

He asks, "Wouldn't it just be easier to bury him
in the black suit that he's wearing?"

But she insists that it must be a blue suit and
gives him a blank check to buy one.

When she comes ...

Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"

"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."

Grocery bagger at the store earlier told me that they're not gonna make bananas any longer.

I replied, oh really? He responded, "Yeah, they're already long enough."

He got me good. I really enjoyed that today.

How does an alchemist make his wife happy?

Elixer

Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”

The man asks, “And how would you do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.”

She then hangs upside down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and asks, “What are you doing?”

The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”

The boss th...

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What's 10 inches long, hard as a rock, full of semen and makes all of the ladies scream?

The sock under my bed.

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The 13th Amendment makes it illegal to buy people.

Apparently, it doesn't apply to congressmen.

Edit: Wow...so this is what it’s like to reach the front page... really underwhelming...

In all seriousness, while there are a bunch of corrupt politicians out there, DO call your congressman and DO participate in your local elections and pr...

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Mr. and Mrs. Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely. One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”

“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! An...

My wife and I make love doggy style...

I sit up and beg, she lies down and plays dead.

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How do you make an old lady say "Fuck"?

Have another one say "Bingo!"

I went to make my own James Bond clothing, but came back with a plain, white T-shirt

I had No Time To Dye.

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A husband tells his wife: "I bet you can't say something that makes me happy and sad at the same time"

She told him: "you have the biggest dick in the whole town"

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It’s not the end of the world."

Stupid auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

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On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods, the golfer."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."

The couple then makes passionate love.

When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."

"Tiger wouldn't do t...

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Hillary's emails would make the perfect construction material for building the great Trump Wall...

Since no one can get the fuck over them.

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Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything ins...

How to make Americans take vaccines

Tell them immigrants are coming to America to take all their vaccines.

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Friday night?

Tell them a joke on Monday.

I just got a job in a factory making plastic Draculas

There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Add a nipple to it.

If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state.

We’d have a prime number of states and finally be “one nation, indivisible”

I visited my new friend in his apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

A women called me ugly until she found how much money I make.

Now she’s calling me ugly and poor.

Why do you not make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?

Because she is thick and tired of it.

My cousin was going on and on about how an onion is the only food that can make you cry without eating it.

So I hit him in the face with a coconut.

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I have a difficult confession to make: I sometimes masturbate in the shower.

It feels good to come clean...

When you make a suicide pact with someone, NEVER offer to go first.

Trust me. I’ve done like five of them.

Making babies

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-t...

My girlfriend cuddled up to me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies.".

So, I spanked her and came in her hair.

I think we watch different movies.

As an American, it makes me so sad to see that nothing is made in the USA anymore.

I just bought this new TV and it says “Built-in Antenna.” I don’t even know where that is.

When is my wife's favorite day to make love?

Tomorrow

A blonde wants to make some money

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to p...

How do you make holy water?

By boiling the hell out of it!

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My girlfriend got a boob job, but I don't know how to break it to her that I find it makes her less attractive

Traditionally women tend to get both done

When I was five, my Dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie...

I miss snowballs, she was a good cat.

Who has no choice to strip to make ends meet?

Electricians

Two cannibals were eating and the first one says: Your sister makes a delicious soup. The second one says:

True, but now I miss her

About 1,375 olives are pressed in order to make 1 liter of olive oil, 8,435 sunflower seeds to make a liter of sunflower oil...

Don't even get me started on baby oil

I’m from Alabama and I don’t appreciate all the jokes Reddit makes about my home state. I told my dad, my uncle, and my grandpa about it.

When he found out he was madder than hell.

Yesterday I saw two teenagers making out in the park, reminds me of my teenage days….

reminds me of my teenage days when I used to see other teenagers make out in the park

How do you make a room full of epileptics go nuts?

Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights

Yesterday I couldn’t make out if someone was waving at me, or the person behind me.

In other news, I just lost my job as a lifeguard.

What makes an ISIS joke funny?

The execution

A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It’s a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It’s as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would ...

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Do you guys know what makes the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

The Pizza

Wait no fuck...

I meant the delivery

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Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.

I shouldn’t have bought this piece of shit from IKEA.

Apparently the company that makes Tupperware is going bust, which is a surprise.

I thought their finances would have been airtight.

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield".

The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the American is no more.

Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position ...

Donald Trump somehow makes it to the Pearly Gates

After a long life, and a tumultuous presidency, Donald J Trump dies and arrives at the Gates of Heaven, where he sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asks an angel, "What are all those clocks?"

The angel answers, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time...

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make things interesting."

So we stopped playing chess.

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