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A gambler gets a notice from the IRS that he’s being audited.

The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the agent looks over his paperwork and says:

“The reason for your audit is that you live such a lavish lifestyle, yet not much income to justify it. Can you tell me what you do for a living...

How do you get a philosophy student off your porch?

Thank him for the pizza

What do you get if you cross a cow and an octopus?

A call from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.

My wife says I get mean when I drink whiskey. Now I drink Canadian whiskey.

I am still mean but I am sorry, too.

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An Elderly Woman Gets Pulled Over For Speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop: Don't have one?

O...

One night Chun Li gets drunk and decides she wants to get laid. So, she asks her friend Cammy if she knows which of the male Street fighters can help her get off...

Cammy said, "Sure. Ryu can."

Where do horse go when they get sick?

To the horse-pital.

>! Just kidding, they get shot. !<

How does an alchemist get his wife off?

Elixir

How do you get 30 Canadians out of a pool?

You say, “O.K., everybody, it’s time to get out of the pool!”

Man goes to a pet store to get his wife an anniversary present.

He walks into the store, owner greets him and asks how he can help him. He glances at the pets I the store and sees birds, guinea pigs, fish and stuff.

Husband: "Today is our anniversary and I'm looking for something real special for my wife."

Owner: "Boy do I have something special fo...

if Christians read the Bible to get closer to God, what do atheists read to further intensify their non-belief?

The Bible.

A mathematician and an engineer play a game to get laid…

At the other end of this room,” the Game Master points out, “is a beautiful, young, naked, consenting woman. If you reach her, she will fulfill any and all of your fantasies.”

The mathematician and engineer both look at each other with excitement.

“The only rule is that each step you...

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine i should use to get the best looking women

He said the ATM outside

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Young Couple gets banned from church.

There were three couples, one elderly, one middle aged, and one newlywed, that wanted to join a church. So the minister tells them that in order to be members they must abstain from sex for two whole weeks.

After two weeks, the minister asks the elderly couple if they had abstained. "Yes, no ...

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke

What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets?

Women

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Why I’m getting a divorce

I woke up the morning of my 43rd birthday. Expecting something similar to previous years, I freshened up and walked into the kitchen. To my surprise and disappointment, my wife did not acknowledge my birthday at all. Even my kids had forgotten and didn’t say anything. I little taken back. I complete...

How does a transphobe get down hill?

Walking.


JK, rolling

A guy catches his best friend smelling his sister's panties and gets really mad.

It didn't help that she was still wearing them.

It made the rest of the funeral very awkward.

How do computers get drunk??

You know... they just take SCREENSHOTS

There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor.

The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told ...

A guy gets on an airplane and finds himself sitting next to a talking duck.

A gorgeous young stewardess comes by and asks the guy and the duck if they would like anything to drink.

"I would like a cup of coffee, please," says the guy.

"And I'd like a can of beer, you ugly pig!" shouts the duck.

The stewardess goes and gets a can of beer for the duck. Bu...

Why did Saskatchewan get all the nuclear waste and Ontario is full of lawyers?

Saskatchewan got to pick first.

An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like...

As I get older I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way I think to myself,

maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide

Twenty years ago, my friend made a website where you compare getting high from different drugs.

It was the original trip advisor.

A man is driving home from work when he gets a call from his wife.

"Be careful on the road, honey. I heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the highway."

"It's not just one car," he responds, "it's hundreds of them!"

What happens when you don't get any upvotes on your cake day....

You feel desserted.

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What do you get when you cross a human with a couch?

A Homosectional.

What do you get when you mix holy water with laxatives?

A religious movement

As a doctor I often get asked why I use that rubber hammer to tap patient's knees.

I dunno. I just get a kick out of it.

What do you get when you cross the ocean with the Titanic?

Halfway.

How do you get a group of loud Canadians to leave a party?

You ask them.

A man is in court to get a divorce

He tells the judge "I just can't take it anymore, every night she's out past midnight jumping from bar to bar."

The judge asks, "What's she doing at all those bars?"

The man replies, "She's looking for me."

what do you get when you cross a Jewish person ?

Christianity

A man walks a boy into the woods. The boy say he mister it’s getting really dark and im scared

The man replied how do you think I feel I need to walk back alone

Genie granted me one wish, but with a condition that my enemy will get two times more

I asked for 120/80 blood pressure

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What do you get when you cross a pickle with a deer?

A dildo.

What do you get when you cross an orca with a housecat?

An angry ethics committee and your grant revoked.

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A kitten walks into a bar and yells to the bartender "I'm an alcoholic! I'm going to get black out drunk! So get me a double whiskey and tonic!"

The bartender warns, "I've told you before I can't serve you that!"

The kitten replies, "Don't be a pussy!"

The bartender slides him a drink. The kitten slams it down and passes out.

A patron asks the bartender, "Did you really give a kitten a whiskey and tonic?"

The bart...

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[OC] What do you get if you get a boner at a funeral?

Mourning wood

What do Zoologists and Chess players both get excited over?

Mating patterns

A young couple was getting ready to give birth to their first child,

and they had determined that the child should not be named until after it was born, so that they could meet it and make the name based on that first magical moment. On the day of the birth, a beautiful baby girl was born and the parents were instantly smitten.

"It's 'Love.'" said the mother....

The following is a joke from 'Harry Hills Whopping Great Joke Book' and I really don't get it. Could anyone enlighten me?

My wife is a stickler for tidiness. I just bought her a cuckoo clock and she's started putting paper under it.

A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: (the Washington Post competition)

I'll go first... I love you and the smell of your hair,Please don't be home when I get there.


EDIT- I have to say, the rhymes and creativity; you all are incredible, Now I have to wonder who's most edible...(no really great job to all)

How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

First, a tractor.

"Doctor, Every time I drink coffee I get pain in my eye."

"Take the spoon out of your cup."

What do you get if you cross a non-violent Indian with an anti-Semitic art school reject and a wizard?

Gandolf

A man gets shipwrecked on a desert island with only a dog and a pig…

…after many weeks without the touch of a woman - the pig begins to look very attractive. One night, the deprived man begins to chance his luck with the pig. Over dinner, he tweaks its tail, plays footsie with its trotters, and cuddles in close. The dog, witnessing all this, becomes very jealous, and...

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I told my date “Being funny is the second best way to get a girl into bed.”

She asked what the best way was and I said “A big dick.”

So she replied “That’s funny.”

What did Qatar get after spending billions of dollars to stop LGBTQ+ actions in FIFA 2022?

Half naked Argentinian Men Hugging and kissing each other in the end.

Wife: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas!

Me: (Drinking toast) Why?

Where can you still get gas for $1.39?

Taco Bell

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A wife takes her husband to a strip club for their 20th anniversary

At the entrance, the guard says to the husband, "Hey Simon, how's it going?"
The woman asks her husband how he knows you, the husband answers from the gym.
They enter and sit at the bar, and the bartender asks, "Hey Simon, the usual?".
The husband turns to his wife tensely saying, we pla...

Why do sunburned people get more dates?

Because they're a peeling . . .

why don't mathematicians get mugged?

Because there's safety in numbers.

It can get hairy.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

How does a blind skydiver know when he's getting close to the ground?

The leash goes slack.

how many alziemers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

to get to the other side

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My wife says I can get anal on my cake day if this post reaches front page

Please don’t make that happen, she has been dying to try that strap-on on me forever.

My Uncle Jackie turned 80 years young today. He loves telling jokes. Here is one he tells every Thanksgiving, and it gets a huge laugh every time. Enjoy, and Happy birthday Uncle Jackie!

A 75 year old man, his hair is completely white, marries a 22 year old girl and she gets pregnant. Nine months later he is siting in the maternity ward, talking to the nurse.

"Hey! Well how'd I do?"

The nurse says "she had twins!"

"Hehehe! Just goes to show, even if there is ...

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What do guys get after five days masturbating?

A weak end.

Four college friends, teammates on the school's Rowing team, take a trip to Patagonia on Spring Break and get lost for a couple weeks.

Having brought food enough for only five days, they were soon forced to butcher and eat their alpaca, who they'd used to carry some of their gear.

That gave them enough food for a while, but even that eventually wore thin, until they were down to just the pack-animal's tongue, lips, and face...

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What do you get when Wonder Woman [nsfw]

What do you get when Wonder Woman has sex with a transformer?
.
.
.

.

Amazon Prime

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A pervert watched a bunch of numbers have an orgy through a window

Some were 69ing, 7 ate 9's ass, you get the picture.

After a while they started to cum in descending order (20, 19, 18, etc.) until 2 came and saw the perv in the window. He got scared and ran away, never looking back.

He never saw that one coming.

Why doesn't the mathematician get a new girlfriend?

He keeps thinking about his X and Y's

What do you call a cow that gets sent to the slaughterhouse by accident?

Miss Steak

After watching the Tour de France for several years running, a guy decides that he's going to get into cycling.

So he buys himself a brand new road bike, and sets out for his first long ride. He's pretty fit, and takes a long route over several hills. But on his way back, he finds that he's just too tired to continue, and just can't make it back up over those hills.

He decides to try to catch a ride ...

What's the worse job you can get as a vegan in England?

Beefeater.

Where does a mansplainer get his water?

From a well, actually...

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Whats the difference between a politician and a hooker?

A hooker will stop fucking you once you run out of money.

Edit: As somebody observed below, this joke is as old as the sun, yet never gets old.

Considering all the comments, it's a fair conclusion that hookers would make honest politicians, if there is such a thing.

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I asked a hooker for a blowjob

She said it would cost $50

I said I only have have $5 what can I get for that?

She said a bus pass

I said what am I supposed to do with a bus pass?

She said I don't know but you're not getting off here

Two old guys are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide...

The first old guy says to the second guy,

'Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going.'

The second old guy says,

'That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little des...

What did the man say after getting attacked by crows?

I just got murdered.

I don’t get why people are bothered by the sun while driving.

I just close my eyes and it’s not a problem.

I just bought my local MP a get better soon card.

He's not sick. I just think he can do better.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's
on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit...or a
thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit...or maybe one like that cute widdle
bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands...

Chinese takeout: $25.00, Gas to get there: $2.50

Getting home to find they’ve forgotten one of your dishes: Riceless.

What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

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Why don't porn stars get convicted of any crimes?

Because they can always get themselves off.

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A therapist gets a call from their patient saying they are going to kill themself…

Therapist: Why do you want to kill yourself?

Patient: Because you don’t take me seriously, and you’re always needlessly pedantic!

Therapist: How would you do it?

Patient: I’m going to jump.

Therapist: Now?

Patient: Yes now! I’m looking at a hundred foot drop…...

What do you get if you cross a badger and a black bear?

Hospitalized

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They DoD realized they have too many Generals.

So they offer a retirement package where they have a doctor measure the distance between any two points on their body and they get $10,000 for every inch.

An Air Force General is the first two take the offer and has the doctor measure him from the top of this head to the bottom of this feet. ...

Woman asks her friend "How are your kids getting on now?"

"Fine!" Comes the reply. "My oldest boy grew up to be a doctor, the second grew up to be a teacher, and my daughter grew up to be a lawyer!"

"What about your youngest boy? How's he doing?”

"Ah. He grew up to be a thief. He lives at home with us still."

"So you let your three de...

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A woman was getting bored with the sex life with her husband, and decided some sexy talk would spice things up. So one day when things are getting intimate she says to her husband, "say dirty things to me." The husband smiles, leans in and gently brushing his lips to her ear whispers...

"^the ^dishes, ^^the ^^living ^^room ^^carpet, ^^^behind ^^^the ^^^fridge"

Why do some women get married twice?

To collect the other half.

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A bus stops and two Italian men get on.

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

“Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asse...

My go-to pickup move when I'd just walk next to a girl in the bar and whisper in her ear "If I get excited,I can touch the bottom of the Pringles can" and see how their eyes light up excitement

I love these new snack size ones.

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What did the man with the average size penis say while getting a blowjob?

You suck a mean dick

So a recently separated veteran gets a civilian job.

He does a wonderful job, but there's only one problem: he always shows up late.

So his boss takes him aside and asks him, "Weren't you in the military? What would your leadership say if you were late?"

The veteran replies, "They'd say, 'Good morning, Sergeant Major. Your coffee's on yo...

A man complained to his coworker that he didn't know what to get his wife for her birthday...

"She already has everything you could think of, and she can buy herself whatever she likes," he said.

"Here's an idea," said his friend. "Make up your own gift certificate that says, '30 minutes of great loving, any way you want it.' I guarantee she'll be enchanted."

The next day, th...

An engineer dies and goes up to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, St Peter says to the engineer "Sorry pal, you're not on the list. You can't get into heaven." The engineer says "Wait a minute, I always donated to charity, my wife and I raised two orphans we adopted, I attended church regularly, what do you mean I'm not on the list to get into...

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out

As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, and painful death!"
He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"

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How did Jada Smith get famous ?

She is a woman of focus, commitment and sheer fucking Will.

Where did the computer mouse go to get a drink?

The spacebar

And you know I’ve been to a couple spacebars before, they’re all exactly the same. Great food, no atmosphere.

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This is my absolute favorite "so bad it's good" joke

A man went to the doctor with a horrible itch in his ass. After an examination, the doctor gave him his diagnosis:

\- You have an enormous tapeworm in there. This is not a matter of normal treatment, so my advice to you is to insert a boiled egg in your anus followed by a gummy bear. Call me ...

Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because people are getting taller

Manufacturers claim it's due to climb it change.

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A little girl gets a bike for Christmas one year.

All excited, she immediately takes the bike out to ride it.

A cop passing by says to the little girl, "Did Santa get you that?"

"Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.

The little girl looks up at the cop and sa...

2 vegans get in a fight

Is it still beef

A guy isn't feeling well, and goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

The guy says, "I guess I'll get the good news first."

The doctor replies, "You're going to get something named after you."

Why did the calendar maker get fired from his job?

He took a day off

dont get me on about frictionless surfaces

i'll just keep goin!

What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?

You get kicked out of sea world…

David Byrne gets elected as U.S. president.

His first act is to issue an executive order to the U.S. Mint.

To stop making cents.

I was attempting to get in contact with a contortionist for an interview earlier today.

Fortunately, she was very flexible.

A couple was going to get married…

but unfortunately they had a car crash and died. Before the gates of St Peter they stood thinking maybe they could get married in heaven. So they ask St Peter, and Peter says ”Well it’s quite rare, but let me see what I can do.” So St Peter goes into heaven. As the couple sits for a couple of months...

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an Anus gets into a fight with two guys at a bar.

He rectum.

I'm getting my girlfriend a prosthetic leg for Xmas

It's just a stocking filler.

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Funeral director takes his hearse to the mechanic, "My car gets really bad mileage."

Mechanic says, "I'm sorry sir I don't think I can help, It's because of all the dead weight in the back."

the new maid

A man hires a new maid and calls home to speak to his wife. The maid picks up.

"Is this the maid"

"Yes"

"Well may I speak to my wife?"

"Well....she's in bed with a man"

The husband is furious and tells the maid "I want you to go into my desk, get my gun, and shoot ...

A man gets stung by a bee

A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain "Please doctor, you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."

**Doctor:** "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

**Man:** "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

**Doctor:** "No, you do...

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts.

He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and aft...

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The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his Deckhand, so they sent an agent to investigate him.

IRS AGENT: “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."

Boat Owner: “Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does abou...

How do you get a country girl's attention?

A tractor.

What do you get when you take the integral of a velociraptor?

A Positioraptor!

According to theology, if you commit 90 sins, you’ll only get caught half the time.

Because ….sin90 = cot45

A scrawny teenage boy asks his muscular friend how he gets so many girls to sleep with him.

The muscular friend says, "Here's what you do: next time there's a party, get a large potato and stick it down your pants and act normal. You'll see - that'll turn you into a chick magnet."

A minute later, all the girls at the party run away from the scrawny kid, screaming and laughing and po...

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.

The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

2 guys walk into a bar. The first guys says I'll get H2O. The second guys says I'll get H2O too.

He died.

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How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? …

sex is what we want!

Why do blind people get so offended by every joke?

It's all dark humour.

What does every woman have that starts with a V, that she can use to get what she wants?

Her voice.

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What do you get when you cross an armadillo with a dildo?

Fired from the sex toy company

Burglars are getting very clever these days.

Last night, my wife woke me up, “Darling! Darling! There's a burglar downstairs!!”

So I go down, check every room and don't find anyone. Then I realized I don't have a wife and when I went back upstairs my bed and TV were gone.

Einstein gets on a plane.

He knows it's a long flight, so he turns to the man next to him and says,

"Its a long flight, why dont we play a game? I'll ask you a question, and if you cant answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I cant answer it, I give you $100."

The man agrees, so Einstein ...

My doctor told me that only exercise will get rid of my big belly.



I asked him if I should join a gym. He said, "No, that's not necessary. Here's the exercise you need: Move your head back and forth from left to right anytime someone asks you if you'd like something to eat."

What does a Lemon do after getting a knife cut?

Lemon-aid

These Cthulu memes I've seen now and again, need to get some new material

All I ever see are Old Ones.

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A koala bear is smoking a blunt in a tree

A lizard comes along and says “what are you doing?”. The koala bear says “I’m getting high man”. The lizard responds “what do you mean?”…. Rather than explain it to the lizard the koala bear convinces him to partake of the blunt.

Shortly after partaking, the lizard says to the koala “dude my ...

What happens if you you cross an angry cow with an angry sheep?

You get two animals that are in a *baaaad moooood.*

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A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”

The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.


When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse,” and charged them $80. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appo...

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A Man in a cowboy hat is going up in an elevator when a beautiful young woman gets on at the next floor.

They stand in silence for a moment as the elevator begins it's accent with the old cowboy glancing a few times at the pretty young woman.

After a few more moments the old cowboy cracked a friendly smile and said "Excuse me, miss. I don't be to be rude, but...can I smell your pussy?"

Th...

I have a friend that accuses me of pushing him around and talking behind his back

He is in a wheelchair and we get along quite well.

How did the seaman get to work?

I put on the wrong socks.

If you cross a lollipop with a slide whistle, you get a Melodie Pop.

Do it quickly and you get a Toot Sweet.

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

He had reptile disfunction.

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A guy tries to get romantic with his wife.

But with work and kids and getting ready for the holidays she rebuffs him and says maybe another time. So a few days go by and she starts to get frisky with him and he tells her “Oh sorry I watched a bunch of porn and jerked off like 5 times; I can’t perform even if I wanted to.” She angrily asks hi...

At first I didn’t believe a surgery could fix my legs and get me out of the wheelchair.

I stand corrected.

FAQ: Can I returned my child and get a refund?

No, but we can give you stork credit.

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Two aliens land on Earth in the middle of nowhere near a gas station and one of them gets out to make first contact.

He goes to the gas pump and says "Hello, we're from outer space, and we'd like to establish relations, how can I find your leader?"

Obviously, the pump doesn't respond so the alien is rather annoyed by such rudeness but he tries again.

"Yeah so we're just trying to get in touch with yo...

Everyone on the internet seems to hate vegans, but I don’t really get it.

Personally I’ve ….never had a beef with one.

Did you know blind people are more likely to get scurvy?

They don’t get enough vitamin see.

What do vegans get instead of bird flu?

Toflu

So two archenemies get in a car crash in the middle of the night...

They get out of their cars, uninjured, and the first guy goes, "Hey, we both are fine! Maybe this is a sign from the heavens that we are meant to be friends!" So the second guy responds, "Maybe that is so."

Then, the first guy suggests they make a toast to their newfound friendship, "I thin...

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My wife was incredibly mad when she found out I have been visiting prostitutes for sex

I said “Well you can hardly blame me, it’s not like I was getting any from you!”

She yelled, “But I didn’t know you were willing to pay for it!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One night a guy goes to get a room in a hotel. "Hello, I want a single room for the night please." "Fine, sir, here's one of our best rooms. Room 13," says the concierge and hands him the key

The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. At about 2 0'clock in the morning, two gorgeous naked women come in and slide under the covers. When he realizes what is going on, he starts screwing both of them. He can't believe what's happening. Next morning, still surprised by la...

Why did the marsupial get the job?

He was koalafied for the position.

I’m getting really sick of millennials attitudes lately

Walking around like they rent the place.

Never get married. It'll only end in divorce. The statistics don't lie.

100% of divorces started with marriage. Can't say I didn't warn you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a priest to confess.

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned" says the man.

“What did you sin, my son?" the priest asks him.

“Well, my wife and I went to my sister-in-law’s for dinner, we had dinner, then as soon as we were going to go home, the weather, father, it was getting cloudy and it looked like it ...

A married couple with kid gets h*rny...

on a Sunday morning and thinks about how they can have some time to "cuddle". So they tell their son to go stand on the balcony and look if he can see something new going on in the neighbourhood.

So their son stands on the balcony and they get going. After a few minutes he yells: "Dad, dad! T...

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