UPJOKE
fortunatefavorablefavourableprosperouspropitiousluckhappygladgoodhotauspiciousunluckyluckilyfortunatelynice

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A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky
enough to be seated next to an absolutely
gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos
and he notices she is reading a manual about
sexual statistics.

He asks her about it and she
replies, "This is a very interesting book about
sexua...

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A lucky husband

A lucky guy married a girl who ended up being a virgin. He was so excited, he went to his father in law and told him, "thank you for raising such an amazing girl for me to marry."

The wife's father replied with, "Don't thank me, thank her mother."

So, he goes to his mother in law and...

Chris Rock was so lucky..

That all the other dudes banging Jada didn’t rush the stage

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Two monkeys, one is lucky and the other is not...

Everyday they go to a banana farm and the lucky one climbs a tree and throws the bananas to the other one. And everyday, the farm owner gathers the farmers and catch the unlucky monkey and beat him.



One day, the unlucky monkey is fed up with the beating and tells the lucky monkey to w...

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A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night.

I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays $300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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To all the teachers who said I would be nothing but a construction worker and an alcoholic

Fuck you that just was a lucky guess.

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Three men, aged 40, 60 and 80, discuss their sex lives

The 40-year old says: "When my wife and I were just married, we'd do it every single day. Any position you could imagine. But now I'm lucky if we can average once a week".

The 60-year old man responds: "Once a week? Just wait till you get to my age. Once a month is what I consider an active s...

I got banned from /r/Jokes for posting, "Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms! Frosted Flakes! Cheerios! Lucky Charms!"

Mods said I'm a cereal reposter...

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. MAN! I sure am LUCKY!

I mean, first I win the lottery and now *THIS*?!

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all, I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!

Afterwards she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She giggled, "The egg timer's broken."

A girl goes to a psychic. Don and Joe both like her and she is confused and wants to find out who is the lucky one that can be her life partner.

Psychic: "Don is going to the be the lucky one.

Joe will marry you."

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My favorite joke: Everyone Knows Dave

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Da...

I don’t win Marathons because I’m lucky



I win because I’m driven.

Lucky Break

A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbour knocking on his door one Friday evening.
.
"I'm feeling so lonely that I can't stand it." she said.
"I want to go out, get drunk & want to enjoy my life. Are you free tonight?"

"Yes!" he replied enthusiastically.
...

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I was lucky enough to win a couple of coupons for some cool bowling balls with number jokes printed on them.

I won two, three for five, sick "seven ate nine" ten pin bowling balls.

Or in other words I... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ...pin bowling balls.

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You're lucky it wasn't the black horse!

About a month ago I was driving to my mothers house late on a Friday evening. It was pitch black, so I had the lights on high beam, and I was driving along a country road when all of a sudden my engine cut out. So I pulled over and got out to have a look - sometimes I can fix it myself. It was very ...

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Lucky night

A young man is heading home from a big night in the town.

As he walks through a seedier part of the city, he spots a lady of the night who is the most beautiful woman he has ever set his eyes upon.

He wanders over to her and quietly asks, "How much?"

The sex worker turns and sa...

Lucky Number 5

I was walking down the street a few days ago I happened upon my good friend Tim. I waved him over and told him I had the craziest dream the other night.

Tim listened as I told him that the dream consisted of just one thing. A huge, bright, number -5-. It was made of gold and shined like the ...

There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five.

There was a man who was born on the fifth day of the fifth month of 1955, whose lucky number was five. On his birthday, he went to the racetrack and was astounded to see that in the fifth race (scheduled for five o'clock) a horse named Pentagram was running, with the odds of 55 to 1. Rushing off to ...

I wasn't particularly close to my dad before he died

Which was lucky really, because he got hit by a bus

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A gas station owner was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Every Fill-Up.”

Rob pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and said that if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Rob said "today is my birthday, i'm feeling LUCKY and I guess 8".

The owner said, “You were very close, the lucky numb...

I’m lucky to have a great grandmother

And I’ve got another one who’s not so great

I'm pretty lucky, so recently I came into a lot money

Which is weird cuz normally i use a sock

Mussolini was a lucky man.

Even on his last day he could hang out with his friends.

I had a lucky chess board when i was a kid

Even thought i never considered myself a great chess player i always seemed to be winning every game i played on that board. It was my lucky chess board. But what was really special about thay board was where it was produced. It was, czech made.

I met an older woman in a bar last night...

She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double? 'What's that? I asked. 'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said. A...

Some guys are just lucky

Despite being ugly, poor and old, my neighbor manages to always bring a new young girl home from the bar every night.
I don't get it, he's not even a great conversationalist, he just sits at the bar licking his eyebrows all night.

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I encountered a milf at a bar last night

although she is 57 years old, she is still very charming and sexy

we were drinking, chatting, laughing, and having a good time

then, she asked me flirtatiously

"have you ever tried a mother-daughter threesome before?"

I said, "Nope, not yet".

She drank a little ...

They said beating cancer was hard, and lucky

But im already on stage \*4\*

Lucky Number 7

I had a vivid dream of the number 7, just a giant 7... and when I woke up, it was 7:00... so I get up and decide to go to the track, because I like to play the ponies.. and I get a cab, and the cab pulls up, and it’s number 7... so I get to the track and I ask what I owe, and it was $7.77... I go in...

A Duck scores lucky one night and takes his hot date to a posh hotel...

Realising his mistake early, he politely excuses himself momentarily - and dashes to the foyer, where he asks the manager to sell him a box of condoms.

"Certainly Sir, should I put them on your bill?"

"Don't be absurd" hastens the duck: "I'll suffocate!"

I was lucky enough to be invited to MC Hammer's house recently.

Although, it was actually kind of boring, since he kept saying I wasn't allowed to touch anything.

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Another oldie...

A man was getting a haircut prior to taking a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber, who responded,
“Why would you want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty — and full of Italians! You’re crazy to go to Rome!"
“So, how are you getting there?”
“We’re taking United,” was the reply....

I saw a vegan with a lucky rabbits foot the other day.

I’m pretty sure that’s a faux paw.

Christmas joke (NSFW)

A 17 year old male walks into a drug store. He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean"

Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying...

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A frog goes to a fortune teller to find out if he will ever be lucky in love...

The fortune teller reads his palm and tells the frog, “I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?”

The frog asks for the good news first.

The fortune teller says, “You are going to meet the most beautiful girl, who is going to be very interested in you a...

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People don't know how lucky they have it these days...

When I was younger and wanted to look at sexy pictures, I had to sneak the Sears catalogue into my bedroom to look at the underwear and swimsuit pages.

But nowadays... anyone can hop on any smart device and just go directly to sears dot com

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lucky mailman

after 20 years on the job the local postman is about to retire and on this last scheduled delivery run he finds himself beset with thankful friends and neighbours, all of whom show their appreciation of his years of service. loaded down with gift baskets, wine, flowers and thank you cards he reaches...

A man wakes up and looks at his clock. It is 7:07 am.

He gets out of bed, goes downstairs and glances at his calendar. It says it is July 7, the seventh day of the seventh month.
As he steps outside he notices Bus #7 going by. He walks to a coffee shop and orders a coffee and a bite to eat and the bill comes to $7.77.

The man thinks "hmm...

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My next door neighbour is an inconsiderate asshole. He knocked on my door at 3AM last night!! 3AM!!

Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.

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Father gives his son a lucky duck

A young man is celebrating his 18th birthday, when his dad comes over and tells him. "Since it's your 18th birthday, and we don't have much money, I want to give you this lucky duck. Go out and have a good time"

The young man, is a little sad, but accepts the present. Being a virgin he wanted...

Leprechaun's Lucky Rainbow

Three men find a Leprechaun and he says, "I will snap my fingers and we will be at the top of my rainbow." With a quick snap the men are on the rainbow.

The Leprechaun then says, "As you slide down the rainbow, yell out what you want and it will appear at the bottom."

The first man sli...

Wife is Always Lucky

Woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me thro...

Deaf people are really lucky

They don’t know what it’s like to hear Donald speak

Why Bilbo had to be Male

Fun fact: Bilbo Baggins had to be a male in order for the plot of The Hobbit to work. If he was instead female, everything would have fallen apart in the goblin cave. Bilbo would have gone off wandering around in the dark and dreary caverns, found the ring, and seen Gollum fishing like in the origin...

Captain Crunch, Lucky the leprechaun, and the Trix rabbit have been found murdered in recent months.

Police believe they're all victims of character assassination.

What is common between a first time in bed and a lucky reddit post?

Edit: Whoa! Didn't expect this to blow up like this!

Davy Jones was a lucky man

He had 3 grown men fighting for his heart

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Isn’t that lucky...?

Two bums are huddled around a fire in a barrel...

Joe says to George: “Hey George, you wanna hear something lucky...?”

G: “Sure Joe...”

J: “I was walking by the river last week and I found a brand new pair of shoes... and they fit!! Isn’t that lucky...?!”

G: “Good for you...

The lucky frog

I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player, I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, three wood. I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard ..three wood. I looked down and ...

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A man notices his wife’s butt is getting big...

“I bet your butt is as big as my grill.”

His wife rolls her eyes, but he gets a tape measure, measures her bottom, measures the grill, and teases her that they’re about the same size.

That night, he tries to see if he can get lucky. “Not tonight,” says his wife.

He asks her why ...

Lucky Pronouns.

Teacher :Sammy, can you give me 2 pronouns?

Sammy : Who? Me?

Teacher : Very good. That's correct!

Lucky Dave

"You know," Dave told his buddies, "I'm a lucky man. I never realized howmuch my wife loved me until the other day when I had to stay home sick fromwork.""What did she do?" someone asked."She was so happy to have me home," he said, "that every time someone came tothe door, like the milkman or postma...

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A lady had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her to get back into the dating world. Finally, she said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom, I have someone for you to meet!

Well, it was an immediate hit.

They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Spain.

Their first night there, she undressed as he did.

There she stood nude, except for a pair of black panties, he in his birthday suit.

Lo...

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The farmer sells his horse for $2000 to a buyer at the market.

The farmer initially promises to deliver the horse to the man in a week, but halfway through that week, the horse dies.

The farmer offers to return the money, but the man decides to proceed with the purchase. In the following week, the farmer encounters the man and inquires about the fate of...

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Sometimes gonna get lucky tonight!

A woman has a pet parrot and every time she brings home a date the parrot says “Someone’s going to get lucky tonight!” The woman is embarrassed by this so she takes the parrot to the vet, she explains and the vet tells her the parrot is lonely and needs a mate. The woman then goes to the pet store a...

USA is so lucky.

Wherever they start fighting terrorism, they manage to find oil reserves.

I thought I was pretty lucky… I used to date two girls Kate & Edith at the same time.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work out. It turns out you can’t have your Kate and Edith, too.

My friend is so lucky, his gf doesn't mind him checking as many asses as he wants!

By the way, he is a proctologist.

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Lucky

A bloke is walking down the street and runs into a mate of his. “How are ya Bill?”
“Ahhh don’t call me Bill call me lucky.”
“Lucky? Why lucky?”
“Well I had ten bucks and bet it on the horse and doubled my money.”
“Good for you Lucky! See ya later!”

The next day the same b...

Lucky

An old guy, Sam isn’t feeling too good so he goes to the doctor. After the exam, the doctor comes back and says, “Unfortunately, Sam, I have bad news and worse news.”

“Oh dear”, says Sam. “Well, give me the worse news first.”

“Well”, says the doc, “you only have about 6 hours to live...

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year..

..British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, a team of American archaeologists dug to a depth of 20 fe...

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So a black guy and a Latino guy and an Asian guy are all walking together!

A man walks up to them with a knife and says “if your dick sizes don’t add up to 20 inches, then you’re all getting stabbed”. The black guy pulls it out and it’s 12 inches. The Latino guy pulls it out and it’s 7 inches. The Asian guys pulls it out and it’s 1 inch. The man with the knife says “you’re...

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George and Ted are showering after a workout when George notices that Ted's penis is about nine inches long.

"You were lucky to be blessed with such a huge penis!" says George.

"I wasn't blessed," replies Ted. "I had to work for it. I did it by masturbating once every day for two years, using butter as a lubricant. I know it sounds crazy, but this thing used to be only five inches long!"

"Tha...

Fruit Loops is putting marshmallows in their cereal like Lucky Charms

I guess Toucan play that game

Lucky Driver

A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license....

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.

The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out, and...

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A dwarf was drinking in a bar, when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said "Ive always wanted to have sex with a little person"

**The dwarf replied "Im sorry, but Ive had women say that before, then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get beaten up" "Its ok" said the woman, "my husband is working away until next week" So, against his better judgement he goes back with the woman. They start having...

My daughter just cracked my new Iphone Xs screen, so I’m passing it back to a lucky commenter. Info below.

Girl, 7-year-old, can do basic math and alphabet, good at housework, overall a good child.

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Lucky Harry

Harry walks into work on Monday morning with a huge grin on his face. One of his co-workers says, “Why are you so happy?”

Harry says, “I went to Bingo for the first time in my life this weekend and I won a thousand bucks.”

A week later, Harry walks into work on Monday morning and he’s ...

Fat people are lucky

They get to eat whatever they want and not worry about getting fat.

Country boy gets lucky

A young man from the country heads to the city to seek new employment. While he is successful, he is lonely and decides to go to a bar to seek out some female companionship. While not terribly skilled at conversation, he manages to gain the interest of an attractive young lady seated at the bar. ...

Lucky Frog

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,

"Ribbit. 9 Iron"

The man looks around and doesn't see anyone.

"Ribbit. 9 Iron...

People who work in coin factories sure are lucky.

They make a lot of money.

Karen goes to the psychic...

"Two men, Bob and Carl, both want to marry me. Who will be the lucky one?"

"You will marry Bob. Carl will be the lucky one."

I wish I could get lucky with banks as I am with women.

Women always offer a 0% interest rate.

A woman asked me to come back to her place for a nightcap.

After a couple of drinks she asks me to get undressed. I took off my shoes and socks and she screamed "what happened to your toes?"

Me-When I was a kid I had toelio.

Her-Do you mean polio?

Me-No girl, look at my toes. It was toelio.

Then I took off my pants. She screamed...

I consider myself lucky, I celebrate Valentine's Day every year

My name is Valentine

America is having such bad lucky recently like it’s cursed!

It’s almost as if it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground or something...

I was in a bar the other night going from barstool to barstool hoping to get lucky…

But there wasn’t gum under any of them.

A brunette woman was walking along a set of railroad tracks, repeating to herself, "42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42."

A blonde woman saw the brunette and asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm just walking along a railroad track and saying 42, 42, 42," replied the brunette.

"Can I join you?"

"Sure."

So the two women walked along the track repeating, "42, 42, 42. 42, 42, 42."

Another bl...

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You can always get lucky on new years day by reminding your lover

We haven't had sex all year.

A pig named lucky.

A news show was doing a report on a local old farmer who had a pig named lucky. Lucky had 4 peg legs.

Reporter: So, can you tell us the story of Lucky? How did he get his name?

Farmer: Well one night, I awoke to the sound of my animals crying, and my barn was on fire. I quickly ran out...

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Hoping to get lucky

I reached my hands round my wife in bed last night and started groping at her breasts.

"Ooh," she giggled. "Trying to get lucky, are you?"

"Sure am," I replied. "But I haven't found a lump yet."

I reckon I have a lucky gene for russian roulette

My grandad played all the time and he only lost once.
I'll bet my life on it.

I've been lucky enough to be with several women in my life...

And I've learned that when you pleasure a woman, they are much like farts.

Some are too loud, some are near silent and, when you least expect it, you'll get a squirter.

Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a sniper. He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into t...

I thought I was about to get lucky in Thailand

A lass it was not to be

This doctor is so lucky

An E.N.T. Professor retired from college. In the farewell college faculty
gifted him a silver ear.
Thanking the faculty the professor said: “Thank god I am not a gynecologist.”

[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky

The government is helping them escape the US

...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

What do you tell someone who gets lucky in the loo?

_Urine_ luck

My wife said I was getting lucky tonight and I could tell everyone on Reddit.

I wish she said I could post it in a different sub.

Tell you what, it's lucky that those Kids trapped in the cave in Thailand are footballers

It means they're already good divers.

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Grandfather of the year

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved grandson.

He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, and all sorts of things.

The grandfather is saying in a controlled voice:

\- "Easy, William, we won't be long".

Anothe...

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Donald Duck is at a Disney convention and gets lucky with a groupie.

When they get back to his hotel room, she says, "I think we should practise safe sex - do you have any, you know...?" and he says "No problem," and picks up the phone to call reception.

"Don here," he says. "Send a bellhop up here with a condom, would you?"

"No problem, Mr Duck," says ...

"You're lucky..."

A blonde is in a canoe in a field of grass paddling away. Another blonde walks up to her and says, "Hey! You're that blonde that gives us other blondes a bad name. You're lucky I can't swim or else I'd be all over you!"

I just slept with this smoking hot girl...

It was a lucky strike.

Obama, Hillary and Trump

Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."

God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?"

He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, an...

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A young recently immigranted Italian couple Maria and Luigi fall in love and get married.

They're sort of poor and spend the honeymoon night at her mama and papa's house.
Maria's a nervous virgin and Mama's busy cooking spaghetti and has to try to calm Maria down and talk her into going upstairs to her husband. She finally does, and Luigi is sitting on the bed and gives her a long pas...

We’re lucky the Swatch wasn’t made in Croatia or...

I’d have to look at my crotch to tell the time.

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Guy walks into a bar

Lucky bastard

A man was arrested for having 5 pounds of cocaine stashed in boxes of Lucky Charms.

The police found the whole ordeal as "magically suspicious".

Captain Crunch, Frankenberry, Count Chocula, and the Lucky Charms Elf were all murdered last night...

It seems it might have been a cerial killer

I'm lucky enough to be ambidextrous.

It's just a shame I'm a lefty.

i caught the most incredible lightning with my camera last night, i was lucky

i survived

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Lucky Friend

My friend called my up the other day, happy that he finally got to cum on his wife's face.

That's the benefit of an open-casket funeral.

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There once was a man who’s lucky number was 5.

John was born on the 5th of May in 1955, at precisely 5:55 am, when his parents were both 55 years old. He lived on the fifth floor of an apartment, 5 hours away from his school.

As he grew up, the number five cropped up in his life in weird and wonderful ways. He was five minutes late to eve...

A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed. His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened.

“God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Good bye grandpa”

The father asked “why did you say good bye grandpa?”

The little girl said “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”

The next morning, the family received news that the grandfather had inde...

I’m lucky that my son’s girlfriend is a very religious girl

Everytime she comes over I can hear her saying “oh god” a lot, sounds like she loves to pray.

My grandfather was lucky, he died peacefully in his sleep

Unofortunately the passengers on his bus died screaming in terror

Confucius say lucky girl is girl who meet boy in park

and lucky boy is boy who park meat in girl

I have a dog named Lucky...

Sometimes he escapes so we have to go get Lucky.

And sometimes it'll be dark out so we'll be up all night to get Lucky.

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Got lucky on a business trip to London

On a recent trip to London I hit the jackpot and was lucky enough to have sex with the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton!
 
After this amazing experience I have drawn 3 conclusions:
 
1. Her tits are really firm, they are probably fake.
 
2. She didn...

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He got Lucky on women's day

A professor walks in to a class. He has a hypothesis. He claims the people who have sex most often are the happiest.
To prove, he divides the class in to three groups. People having sex once a month are put to one corner. They are the least happy. People having sex once a week are put to another ...

A man at the bar realizes it's getting late and pays his tab to go home

As he tries to get off the stool, he immediately falls flat on his face. "Uh oh, I must have drunk more than I thought," he thinks.

He manages to drag himself over to the front door and pull himself upright, but as soon as he takes a step outside, he falls on his face again.
"Hoo boy, I r...

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What did the lucky butter say?

What did the lucky butter say?

I'm on a roll!

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They say you have a 50% chance living next to a sex offender.

Lucky I live next to a sexy 12year old.

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The man’s wife left him

Upset, he went for a drive and suddenly ran over a cop and crushed him to death.
Not knowing what else to do, he threw the cop in the trunk and drove to the cemetery.
When he got there, he came across a drunken watchman.
"Listen, if you bury this body with no questions asked, I'l...

What did the unluckiest lucky man do when he found the pill of immortality?

He choked on it.

What's Ed Sheeran's favorite Lucky Charms? The Rainbow and Horseshoe.

He's in love with the shape of U.

I've been lucky when going out to bars. I've never been given a fake number.

A wrong number sure.......but never a fake one.

My father in law said he felt so lucky that his daughter met such a great guy.

But that relationship didn't work out so she settled for me.

Parties are like when you are lucky in the poker

It starts with pair and ends up with full house

A man escaped from a bear only with a bow in hand

But his friend who got an arrow in the knee was not as lucky.

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