This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.”

“OK, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the doc soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”

“But, Doc, I’ve been screwing the maid, too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.”

“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.
...

I don’t think my girlfriend likes my schizophrenia meds

Because every time I take them she goes away

I think there should be a vote recount.

It’ll be awesome to see Trump lose twice.

Do you think they would write a book about Ellen Page's transformation into Elliot?

They really should.

It would be a real Page-turner

I think my cat might be a communist

He won't shut up about Mao.

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I think my coworkers are gay

Every time I walk by, they mumble "what an ass"

Someone told me that I care too much of what others think

What do you think?

Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?

...or with pajamazon?

My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

I think my girlfriend is obsessed with scooby doo.

She keeps telling me we should split up and search for other people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"Son, I think it's time to talk about pornography, as men."

"What about it exactly?"

"How the hell do you delete the history so mother doesn't find out?"



(translated, sorry if not properly)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife.

Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!"

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What...

When I see couple’s names carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet.

I think it’s strange how many people take a knife on a date.

My wife is thinking of leaving me because of my obsession with poker

But I think she's bluffing.

A Chinese doctor cant find a job in a hospital in America, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100."

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic.

Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste."

Chinese: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 14 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth."

Lawyer: "Ugh. this is kerosene."

Chinese: "Congrats, yo...

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I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license...

and all just because of a stupid police officer...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagin...

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Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and thinking...

Where the fuck is my roof?

If you ever think your job is pointless, just remember...

You could be the guy who installs indicators on BMWs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The first time I had sex I remember thinking.

This is expensive.

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A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.”
Man: ‟Yes it’s.”
Boy: ‟I have a baseball.”
Man: ‟That's nice.”
Boy: ‟Want to buy it?”
Man: ‟No, thanks.”
Boy: ‟That's my dad outside.”
Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?”
Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it hap...

A guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his girlfriend from his wallet and said 'she's beautiful isn't she'

I said 'if you think she's beautiful, you should see my wife'

He asked 'why, is she a stunner?'

I replied 'no, she's an optician'

If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do.

On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside.

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A Nun was taking a bath when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" She asked. The voice back replies "It's the blind man, can I come in?" The Nun thinks for a moment and says "yes that's fine". The door opens and the man says.

Nice tits, where you want me to hang the blinds?

This is a joke we tell in Armenian, I think it comes out well in English too.

Little Johnny is in school one day when his teacher tells the class that she wants to hear each of them say a little about their families, and specifically what is needed in their lives.

The first student is a little girl, she stands up and says "my family is mostly happy but what we really n...

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English parlimentarians and pornstars are not so different when you think about it

What do pornstars and English parliamentarians have in common?


They both love to wake up to BBC

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg.



Btw.. every single person i’ve ever told this joke to said they didn’t get it or that it wasn’t funny.. why am I the weirdo that finds it funny? And why am I picturing Mike Tyson?

Obv not my joke I heard it on Come Dine With Me

Some people think guns are beautiful.

I think tasers are stunning.

Jack, a renown atheist, dies and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself. Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith". Satan laughs and replies: Awh it's not so bad.

He then proceeds to escort Jack through a beautiful lush green plain with flowers, scattered here and there there's a bunch of houses where other "damned" live. As they pass through each house the inhabitants recognize Satan and invite them inside for a drink and a chat, a request that's always gran...

I’m thinking about learning how to make mirrors

It’s something I could really see myself doing

George Carlin once famously joked, "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

Thanks to all those people wearing masks but leaving their noses fully exposed, the stupider half is now a lot easier to spot.

I think my math teacher is a communist

Because she keeps talking about Engels

People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and controlled news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.

That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, America.

With Biden declared the winner, regardless of what side of the political spectrum you’re on, I think we can all safely say...

Thanks, Obama.

Everyone thinks I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid...

BS. I can stop when I want to.

Instead of a swear jar, I started a negativity jar. Every time I think negative thoughts, I throw money in.

It's half empty.

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I think Bill Gates named his company after me...

... because my dick is micro and soft.

Whenever I see some initials carved into a tree with some hearts, I also think it's romantic.

Two lovers on a date in the wood and one of them carrying a knife for some reason.

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[NSFW] A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara desert on a camel.

On the third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the priest spoke.

"Well sister, this looks pretty grim."

"I know, father." "In fact, I don't think it l...

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times, and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

Missed my Cake Day but here's a terrible joke (I think) I came up with.

The whole world was in shock last year when Will Smith was found dead. The police suspected foul play but closed the case due to lack of DNA evidence. We're hearing now though that the investigation is being reopened due to the discovery of fresh prints.








I'm sorry...

Call me racist if you want, but I think everything south of the border is a sea of corruption, idiocy, degradation and violence that I wouldn't touch with a bargepole.

That's why I'm thankful I live in Scotland.

My wife does think my joke is all that funny so let’s see what you guys think

What did the child habanero say to his father? “Dad could we turn up the heat? I’m a little chili”

Just wondering, do you think it's alright for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are in School..?

..or am I just a dreadful Teacher ?

I have seen a lot of fat jokes recently, and I honestly think we should be nicer to them.

They have enough on their plates as it is.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour driv...

What did the sperm think about his chances of becoming a baby?

He thought it was inconceivable.

Hey, I'm new to this Sub, and think I'm going to have a lot of fun here!

said the lettuce leaf foolishly. He was yet to come to terms that he, and eveyone else in this Sub, are going to be eaten.

My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry

So I threw a coconut at her

As weird as it may sound, I think I’m addicted to religion

I’m a real Cathoholic

I'm thinking of selling my Theremin

Haven't touched it in years

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I overheard my neighbor say she had a shitty day, so I anonymously sent her a meat lover’s pizza

She’s a vegan and I hate her fucking guts

I think I was hacked by russia

Edit: I no hacked by Russia. The motherland do no such thing. Have good day.

Edit 2: Thank for big silver neck coin, comrade. I appreciate.

A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".

The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"

The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"

Is some one dear to you having a suspected stroke, remember, think F.A.S.T.

F. Get on Facebook immediately and search the symptoms from a sympathetic audience.

A. Ask for their thoughts and prayers, this will generate lots of likes.

S. Search for the symptoms on Google or look for helpful YouTube videos.

T. Try a selection of oils, scented candles, he...

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A sex addict, an alcoholic and a pot head die and arrive at the gates of heaven.

Jesus is standing there looking at them sternly he says, " I stand at these gates to judge the souls that have passed on. If you do not deserve to enter heaven then you will be cast to the fire filled depths of hell where you will spend all eternity in agony."

The three sinners knowing the l...

I'm a 5G installation engineer and people are constantly accusing me with bizarre conspiracy theories, such as how 5G is giving them headaches, or killing their sperm. I think they are completely crazy.

4G must've fried their brains.

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When I'm hungry but on a diet, I simply think of stuff like 2 Girls 1 Cup to stave off the hunger.

That way I'm far too horny to think about eating.

A Sensitive Guy (NSFW-ish)

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.


They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the ...

Thinking about when the kids were young and I'd come home from work each day. The kids were always excited that Daddy was home, and naturally jumped up and down shouting, "DADDY'S HOME!!! DADDY'S HOME!!!"

Thinking about when the kids were young and I'd come home from work each day. The kids were always excited that Daddy was home, and naturally jumped up and down shouting, "DADDY'S HOME!!! DADDY'S HOME!!!"

I think every daddy has had that greeting. After all, anybody can be a father, but it t...

Doctor! Doctor! I think my duck is turning French.

Doctor: That's okay, you can'ardly tell.

I was so embarrassed that my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set that I threw the bedsheet over it.

I think I managed to cover my tracks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite joke! It was a huge hit with my friends in germany, so i'm very exited to see what you think. I translated everything from german to english, so feel free to correct any mistake in the comments.

Being very annoyed by his female boss and co-workers, a guy tells his friend he dreams of a job where women are not allowed.



His friend thinks about it then says:

“I think you have two options, either you work as train driver or you work as a pilot, if you decide to work as tra...

If Kanye West actually won the US Election and became the president, I think he would turn America into a communist nation.

Because he believes no one man should have all that power.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I lost my sense of taste and think I have COVID!!!!

Oh shit. It’s just Bud Light, I’m ok.

Do you think a bilingual joke will impress the French girl I like?

I'm trying to get laid, but she says I already am.



>!For those of you who don't speak French, "laid" means ugly.!<

I’m starting to think Corona Virus is a girlfriend

It explains how I’ve come in close contact three times, but never got it

An old couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, we’ve been married for 50 years.”

“Yeah,” she replied. “Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”

“I know,” the old man said, “but we were probably sitting here stark naked fifty years ago.”

“Well,” Granny snickered, “what do you say, should we strip?”

So the two stri...

In the 80's we used to think in 2020 we'll have flying cars cities on other planets, blah blah blah....

But No! Here we are, teaching people how to wash hands !!!

My wife thinks I'm crazy...

But, I'm not the one who married me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Not having sex tonight

One evening last week,my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,the passion starts to heat up,and she eventually says,‘I don‘t feel like it,I just want you to hold me.‘

I said,‘WHAT??!! What was that?!‘

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.... <...

I don’t know why people think Trump can’t make a deal...

He makes a big deal out of everything.

I used to think revenge was a dish best served cold...

but then I realized it meant 'getting back at somebody'.

I think the LGBTQ movement suffers from poor acronym

If they changed it to GQ BLT people would really enjoy it. It sounds so classy and delicious.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

True story but I think it’s funny.

My uncle and his buddy used to drink a lot.
One day they were both plastered and John leans against Radford so he doesn’t fall over. As he leans in John asks, “Radford? Is my cock out?”
Radford says, “No it isn’t.”
John replied, “Well it should be cause I’m pissing”

I used to think that cardiac transplant surgery wasn't for me

But then I had a change of heart

I think playwrights are really annoying.

They’re always making a scene.

A maid decided it was time to demand a raise, so she went directly to the Lady of the house's private study

Maid: "I'd like a raise."

Mrs. Smith:"Why do you think you deserve a raise?

Maid:"Three reasons. First, I can cook better than you."

Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"

Maid:"Your husband. Second, I clean better than you."

Mrs. Smith:"Who told you that?"

Maid:"Y...

I think I have a fetish for the last paragraph of an essay. How do I know?

I just came to that conclusion.

Don't you think it's weird...

Don't you think it's weird when Atheists call their kids Christian?

I think a better name would be Godfrey.

I'll see myself out.

I think my TV may be possessed. Today I saw the Three Stooges and Ronald Reagan on it.

Its channeling dead people.

If you can't think of a good guitar pun...

Don't fret.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A poor family lives on a farm and they rely on their chickens for income.

One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground.

"There’s nothing that could help get us out of poverty now," says the dad as he shoots himself.

The mom walks outside and sees the dad and the chickens on the ground.

...

Today, I found myself thinking about the one that got away...

Never buy cheap duck tape.

I'm thinking of starting a marsupial fighting championship

I'll call it mortal wombat

I was thinking about shaving my mustache when November ended

But it’s growing on me.

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My sewing instructor thinks that I’m the worst student she has ever seen in her life.

Shit, wrong thread.

My wife thinks I don't give her enough privacy.

At least that's what she writes in her diary.

Do you ever looked at someone and think, "DAMN this guy is UGLY as F**K"?

Anyway, I'm getting rid of all the mirrors in my house.

If you guys think 2020 has been bad...

Get ready for 2022

I think there is a bug in my Tinder app, I'm not getting any matches.

So I wrote an email to Tinder's tech support, but apparently they have the same issue.

A man goes to the doctor and says ‘Doctor, I think I have a head of lettuce coming out of my bottom’

A man goes to the doctor and says ‘Doctor, I think I have a head of lettuce coming out of my bottom.’

The doctors says ‘okay, let me have a look.’

After a brief examination the doctor says to the patient. ‘Well sir, I have some bad news. I’m afraid this is only the tip of the iceberg’

I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie,

but some people say that’s irrational.

A girl tells her mom she’s dating the guy next door

The mom’s like “you can’t date him he could be your dad”

And the daughter is like “so there’s an age difference who cares”

“I think you misunderstood me”

I think my wife is hallucinating.

She keeps insisting that she's seeing other people.

I think this post will definitely raise the bar.

At least that’s what my physics textbook chapter on leverage tells me.

If you ever think you're useless

Remember you can always be used as someone's bad example.

Three men are chatting when the first says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber.

"I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A pipe."

"I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician," says the second. "I went home last night, and what did I find under the bed? A box of fuses."

"I think my wife is having an affair with a horse," says the thi...

A mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl as a roommate.

During his meal, his mother couldn't help but notice
how pretty his roommate was. She had long been
suspicious of a relationship between the two and this
had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening while watching the
two interact, she started to wonder if there's mo...

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a

different channel everyday.

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.


After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'


The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.


In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, '...

I told my doctor, “I think I have ADHD because I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.”

Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.

Me: But I keep losing my Focus.

Man: I think my wife wants me to leave her.

Friend: Why you say that?

Man: Everyday she wraps my lunch in a roadmap.

I am anti vax and I don’t care what you think...

I am sick and tired of seeing people that are anti vax getting slandered on Facebook .

We have good reason to feel this way and simply attacking us or bad mouthing us is not going to change our minds. We will not be silenced.

I for sure will never have another one again. No chance, I...

I’m American, and I’m sick of people saying America is “the stupidest country in the world.”

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

My family was arguing about what color lights to string on the Christmas Tree, but I think we should really use UV lights this year.

Because black lights matter

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm not the kinda guy that takes out a girl and spend $300 and think that she owes me sex.

That's cause I don't think sex is worth $300.

If I take out a girl and spend $300 on a date then she owes me money.

A wife asks her husband, "If I died, do you think you would remarry?" (joke from my 79 year old great aunt)

The husband replies, "Remarry? No way! I'd be too devestated by your death, I could never replace you."

The wife insists that her husband take a new wife, "If I go before you, I would hate for you to be alone. Please tell me you'd find a new wife."

The husband promises to honor his wi...

My gf left me because she thinks I am insecure.

Oh wait.... she’s back. She went to get coffee.

Im thinking about getting a second career as a reverse truck driver.

You know as a backup job.

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

‟So, you’re a politician...”
‟Well, yes, is that a problem?”
‟Oh no, no problem. But we have recently adopted a new system for people in your line of wo...

If you think you are nothing and worthless, please dont

Your kindeys and your lungs are worth $7000. You can sell me your organs at any time

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the car park."

A pessimist sees only the tunnel. An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. A realist thinks the light is probably inside the tunnel.

A train driver sees three idiots standing in the middle of the track

"I think I might be coming down with COVID because I'm losing my sense of hearing."

"No, with COVID you lose your sense of smell"

"What?"

We were asked the past tense of think in a test today.

So i thought, i thought, and i write thunk.

i think my sister is hot.

Her AC unit is broken

I think Verizons catch phrase was said more than ever this year

They should've fully copyrighted it. Wait "Can you hear me now?"

My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker.

Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

Ive been thinking that the dryer has been shrinking my clothes...

Turns out if was the refrigerator!

You would think that given their discerning tastes and knowledge about what is best that a mansplainer would only drink top shelf liquor.

But they drink well actually.

If we really do live in a simulation, I think I know how they programmed global warming.

They most likely used an "Al-Gore-Ithm"

Thinking about how much weight I've put on over the pandemic, I can't help wishing that I stayed in Britain…

I'd eat pizza every day and I'd just keep losing pounds.

My classmates think the math teacher is mean.

I think he's just average.

Did you ever think that..

the guy/girl that invented the umbrella just wanted to call it Brella but hesitated?

I’m tired of hearing men talk about how women make their lives more difficult. Just think about where men would be without women...

Still in the Garden of Eden.

I’ve been thinking...

I have seen a lot of hate spewed in recent days about a man who is a constant winner and overachiever, and that's what the people who support him like about him. Yes, he's been caught in some lies and maybe twisted the truth a little but he's still out there proving his haters wrong time after time....

Three men are discussing what they think is the fastest thing in the world

The first man says “The fastest thing in the world is a thought... I think something and pops into my head”

The second man says “The fastest thing in the world is light... I turn on the light switch and the room lights up instantly”

The third man thinks for a second and says “you are b...

We think people will say this was the worst year in our lifetimes

But we have to remember, hindsight's 20/20.

I'm thinking of making a series of non-gloss self portrait dinner placemats

I'll name it My Multitude of Matte Mats of Matt by Matt

Just think...

We will soon have the first Presidential Library with only one wall.

Trump ends up in hell...

Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as...

I didn’t think I’d ever be turned on by population statistics...

But then I came to my census

I'm in bed, looking up at the stars and think to myself...

"Where the hell did my ceiling go?"

I used to think skipping to the ends of stories would save time...

...but then I learned to stop jumping to conclusions.

I think it was totally disrespectful for Joe Biden to call the President of the United States a clown.

As a clown, I'm extremely offended

A man drives a train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder

So, he’s on death row and the executioner approaches him.

“What would you like for your last meal?”

“I would like a banana please.”

The executioner thinks it’s weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits a while, and gets strapped into the electric c...

Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?

A naked woman jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver stares at her, looking her over from top to bottom. The woman is offended and asks the taxi driver "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

The taxi driver responds: "Oh, it's not the fact that you're naked that bothe...

Most people have heard the phrase "Great minds think alike"

What they don't know is what comes after

"Idiots seldom differ"

Found this one in my 2014 meme stash

A police officer pulled over a car on a deserted highway and told the driver, "Congratulations! You're the first person here today who was wearing a seat belt and now you're entitled to a prize of 1000$. What are you gonna do with your money?"

"Well", replied the man, "I think I'm gonna get a...

I think Saturn's name is the best in our solar system

It has a nice ring to it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Think I may have created something new here, honest opinion? (Nsfw?)

Work with a few of my friends and we got a messed up sense of humor and get away with some stuff. I texted all 3 3 hrs after work today and told them "I put dicks in your rearview. They all went out to discover clean mirrors before I said you are the dick I just put in the mirror.

Ever stop to think that

The eraser has been sacrificing its life slowly because of your mistakes?

I like to think of myself as a bottle of fine wine

I’m saving myself for another 10-15 years, but in reality I’ll probably wait too long, become funky, and just be left untouched until I’m thrown away

If you think swimming with dolphins is pretty expensive, you should try swimming with sharks...

It cost me an arm and a leg!

My daughter thinks I don't respect her personal boundaries

Or at least that's what she wrote in her diary

One thing I've learned from working in the gym is that there is a lot more creeps out there than you'd think..

Also, a lot more people shave there pubes than you'd think!

You think your job feels meaningless

But imagine being the guy who makes ending credits for Netflix shows

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[At the therapist] Man: Doc, I think I have finally overcome my weird fear that I’m being constantly chased by alcohol bottles.

Doctor: That’s the spirit!

Man: Holy shit! Where?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

But Mickey, you can't divorce Mini just because you think she's dumb.

"I didn't say she was dumb. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm starting to think this election is really sexist

Pundents are constantly going on and on about Male ballots, and I haven't heard a single mention of Female ballots!

What do you call an insult the recipient thinks is a compliment?

A jab well done!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think the US government developed a pregnancy fetish when they saw my paycheck

They really do fuck me hard when I've been in labor more than 40 hours in a week.

Who do you guys think the hottest disney princess is?

for me, it has to be CINDERella

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