It's time to go to war!

Two armies at war. Red v Blue (let's say).. the Blue army Master Sergeant comes up to the First Sergeant.

MS: "Sir! We are completely out of weapons and ammo. What are we going to do when Red attacks tomorrow?"

FS: "Well.. (He ponders for a sec) When you see them come over the hill, go...

How does an Octopus go to war?

Very well armed.

Why don't T-rex go to war?

Because they're short on arms.

If France and Italy go to war, who would win?

None of them, France would surrender and Italy would switch sides.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

King Arthur leaves the country to go to war

Before leaves he goes to the town's blacksmith and orders him to do a chastity belt for the queen with the logic of the guillotine. Before leaving he tells his trusted friend and adviser , sir Lancelot, to bring the court together and inform everyone of this.

When the king returns he tells si...

Why couldn’t the Grim Reaper go to war?

Because he supports all troops

I was told, if I voted for Hillary, they predicted Obamacare would continue and we'd go to war with Syria...

I did, and the predictions came true!

ISIS and Al-Qaeda go to war with each other. Who wins?

Everyone else

Do you know what happens to North Korea if they go to war with America ?

[removed]

What does electron and proton say when they go to war?

Chaaaarge!!

Why will Belgium go to war?

*This is a joke my dutch grandfather told me, the dutch make fun of Belgians*

Why will Belgium go to war with the Netherlands in 50 years?

Because that's when they understand the Belgian jokes they make about them.

Why will Belgium go to war with France in 50 years?

They ...

why you should never go to war against bhuddists

they have respawn

If I were to tell you that we might go to war with friendly countries soon, well...

allied.

Why did the full chromosome human go to war

He was diploid

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides. The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.


The kingdoms ...

A soldier ran up to a nun

Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later."

The nun agreed.

A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the Military Police ran off, the soldier ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three kingdoms lay on a triangle lake

One kingdom lies on each side of the lake. For decades, the king's had argued over it's true owner, each claiming to be the first kingdom to settle there, and many tales of magical swords and godly favours to claim divine right. Eventually, this story telling and legal battling came to no conclusion...

An economist was asked in a talk about how to solve 3 issues

"How would you solve the inevitable future problems of overpopulation, water and employment?"

"Well" he says, "In the future when the water get scarce, we will probably go to war so it can be secured, which will solve the employment problem, and the population should go down as well."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Look at the situation in Saudi Arabia

- Royal princes are getting killed

- they fuck their cousins

- they go to war with neighboring countries

- they have stupid rulers

It’s like Game of thrones - Middle East version

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Russians are going to war with germans

So russia declares war to germany... they plan out an attack... the soldiers start getting ready the day before.... and get thinking "Most of us will probably die tomorrow... we should get drunk". And so they do... they get completely wasted, sell all their tanks for more vodka, sell their guns, gre...

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