This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dad: If you continue to masturbate, you will go blind.

Son: Uh, dad, I'm over here...

After you die, what part of your body continues to work?

Your pupils. They dilate.

Will this fad of glass coffins continue?

Remains to be seen.

My girlfriend texted me that the relationship cannot continue because I played too much video games.

Looks like it was my Destiny 2 break up with her.

They’re going to unplug me if this government shutdown continues any longer

Read my name

I was told, if I voted for Hillary, they predicted Obamacare would continue and we'd go to war with Syria...

I did, and the predictions came true!

I was going to continue garnishing my food

but I ran out of thyme

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone get...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

When you turn your computer on it says press any key to continue

My dad learning (and clearly frustrated) with technology says "WHERE THE FUCKS THE ANY KEY"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I hate my job.

My job is so fucking unbelievable.

I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. Sh...

No mixing utensils are allowed near the courthouse as the month-long case against the violent baker continues.

It's a whisk-free 30 day trial.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I go to the doctor and he asks for a stool sample.

I pull out a small chair from my bag. The doctor yells at me for wasting his time and kicks me out of his office. I go home still not knowing why I'm shitting furniture. My nightmare continues.

Why didn't the fungus continue to grow?

It didn't have mush room.

Under President Trump, ISIS continues to spread across Middle East

as a fine red mist.

An Old Atheist Joke

A little boy walks down the street to his church every Sunday. Every now and then he gets curious about the alley running between the houses straight to the church, but his friends tell him to walk around the block like normal because a mean atheist hangs out in the alley.

One day he's by him...

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...

Wall-E

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community...

If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent them in the debate.

However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'si...

Man gets on a bus and sits next to a mother with child...

The mother is trying to get her fussy son to breastfeed, she finally gets frustrated and tells the baby, "You better take to the milk, or I'll give it to this man sitting here..."

She tries a few more minutes, the baby is still just very fussy, she tells the baby again, "You need to start soo...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

This joke was posted by the user u/propane13 a year ago and it’s brilliant and I thought more people need to see it so here it is (I take absolutely no credit for this)

A fisherman walks into /r/jokes where he meets a bartender. The bartender offers him a drink. The fisherman says he does not have money to pay, so instead he offers a trade-- if he can get the bartender to laugh at his joke, then the bartender should provide a drink for free. The bartender, a smug, ...

Childless man continues to tell "dad jokes"

he was a Faux Pas.

The boss plans a business trip

He calls his secretary, tells her they will go on a business trip for a whole week. The secretary calls her husband, she will be off for a business trip next week. The husband calls his mistress, they can spend the next week together in the absence of the wife. The mistress calls a kid she teaches, ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man and his newlywed wife are about to consummate marriage.

A man and his newlywed wife are about to consummate marriage. Both are nervous and start getting undressed. The man takes his shoes and socks off and the woman shrieks "OMG! What's wrong with your feet?" The husband, having grossly misshapen toes replies "When I was a kid I contracted toelio." The b...

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar.

Sylvester Stallone says, "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says, "Guys, I'm bored of doing action movies too and I've got some ideas but you may not like them."

Sylveste...

To my dearest wife...

A couple decide to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary by visiting the same hotel in Spain they'd visited for their honeymoon.

In the excitement, they get to the airport but sadly find the plane is overbooked.

The wife says to the husband, "don't worry, you catch this flight and I...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim.

...after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it's com...

What do you call a person who continues to touch up on something that is already perfect, and thus ruining whatever it was?

George Lucas.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A fella was up in court

This fella was up in court being charged with murder.

The judge says “You are now being charged with battering your wife to death with a hammer”

A voice from the back of the courtroom shouts “You bastard!”

The judge continues “You are also being charged with battering your daug...

A devout Christian man living in New Orleans refuses to leave his home after hearing news of an imminent hurricane and flood.

A richly devout Christian man lives alone in New Orleans. He keeps to himself mostly, isolating himself in prayer and self-reflection with little care for the outside world.


One day, the man notices it growing dark outside earlier than normal. He steps outside and feels the wind has pick...

Why 'business' people continue to earn more than people who actually work :

Time is money (time=money), and knowledge is power( knowledge=power)

we know that power is work done/time

solving,

power=work done/money

but knowledge=power

hence

we have money=work done/knowledge

which means, in the limiting case, as knowledge -&...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A naked woman accidentally fell off of her 22nd story balcony. On her way down...

a gentleman from the 18th floor sticks his head out and catches her hand. As he hangs on to her hand he yells “If you promise to blow me then I’ll save your life!”

“What is wrong with you?! Just fucking save me!!” She replies in disbelief.

The gentleman then proceeds to let her fall. ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Little Red Riding Hood sets out to go visit her grandmother, who lives in another village

As she's walking on the forest road, she sees the big, bad wolf hiding behind a shrub. She stops and says:

\-My, what big red eyes you have!

The wolf looks at her and leaves without saying a word, disappearing in the dense forest. Little red riding hood continues walking on the same fo...

A man is at a party when he sees a Buddhist monk

As he is observing the monk, the lady behind him drops her phone, and he helps her by picking it up. After that, he begins moving over to the refreshments section, on his way he spots a drunk friend, for whom he calls an Uber home. Once his friend is safely away, he continues to amble over to the re...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bristol Palin called those who continue objecting to Trump "sissies".

She was going to call them "pussies" but Trump had already grabbed that one.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Marine returns from duty in Iraq and is immediately reassigned to a remote location in Afghanistan.

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere.

As he switches over with the marine currently stationed there, he realises there is no bed, no clean water, no toilet, just him, his weapon and the dirt on the floor.

The next morning he wakes up to f...

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children enter the dining room totally nude and walk slowly around the table.

The parents are so embarrassed that they pretend nothing is happening and keep the conversation going. The guests cooperate and also continue as if nothing extraordinary is happening. After going all the way around the room the children leave, and there is a moment of silence at the table, during wh...

A Beer Before It Starts

Husband sitting on the couch watching TV, yells to the wife in the kitchen “hey babe, will you bring me a beer before it starts?”
Wife: sure

10-15 minutes go by....

Husband: hey babe, will you bring me another beer before it starts?
Wife: I suppose

This continues several m...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Dad is walking past his teen son's open bedroom door and hears the sounds of masturbation.

Looking inside his assumption is confirmed. "Son, relax, you're not in trouble, you've done nothing wrong." Junior is frozen in shock by his Dad. Dad continues, "You should just save that till after you're married." Dad then walks away and nothing else is said.

Years later, Dad is once ag...

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage,

when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the...

A bass player is playing Jazz in the street for fun when suddenly one of his strings breaks.

The Bassist is a little saddened by this, since he can't really play Jazz with only 3 strings. He contemplates whether he should go buy a replacement string, but after some time he decides it could wait and starts playing Rock instead.

He plays Rock for another hour when suddenly another stri...

So did you hear that the Colombians voted in a referendum to continue their war?

I was like FARC me . . . .

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There is a boy who is always in trouble, he is constantly upsetting the other children and damaging the school property. Eventually, a letter is sent home to his parents...

...saying the school has put up with his bad behaviour long enough. This morning, they found him masturbating in class so they have expelled him. The letter continues: “I
suggest you talk to your son about his dirty little habit as soon as possible. Tell him he’ll go blind if he carries on.
Yo...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An American spy is in Soviet Russia, digging up information on a powerful Russian politician.

He finds him in a bar, walks in dressed in Russian attire, pretending to be Russian. Everybody in the bar looks at him, but he keeps his cool. He orders a drink and walks to the politician... "Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I go to the doctors office and describe the stomach pains I’m having

He asks me to give him a stool sample

I go to the bathroom and return soon after with a beautiful mahogany wood table.

The doctor is not amused and kicks me out of his office.

I continue to shit furniture

The nightmare goes on

Two men are sat in a pub, both rather drunk.

One of the men fancies striking up a conversation with the bloke next to him, so he asks him "Hey pal, are you from around here?"

The second man responds "Aye, indeed I am. In fact I was born at St Mary's, just around the corner."

The first man replies with "well I'll damned! I was bo...

The year is 1804 and a young man enlists on a ship..

..his first voyage is to last 3 years, and even though the work is hard the young man takes to it like a fish in water.

After only a few days he is running the riggin like an old hand, he swabs the decks without complaint and spends his free time in amicable companionship playing cards or tel...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes to confession and says, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies, "Yes, father. I used the "F-word" over the weekend."

The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language."

The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-wo...

An American walks into an Irish bar.

While on vacation, an American walks into an Irish pub and orders a drink. After a minute he says out loud, "I'll bet anyone in here $1,000 if they can take 10 shots of Jameson in a row, without stopping or vomiting." The bar gets quiet except for one man who gets up and walks out. The American laug...

A tale of Middle Earth

In the land of Gondor there lived one of the most renowned gardeners in all of Middle Earth.


All the various people would come to Master Kizal for healing herbs that could be found nowhere except his gardens. The Elves would come to him for rare tree saplings and advice on how to care f...

An old lady sells cabbages on the streets for 2 dollars each.

Every day a man comes to her, gives her 2 dollars, but doesn't take a cabbage. This continues for months. One day that man handed 2 dollars to the woman, but she refused. A man asked:

- So, you must be wondering why am I giving you 2 dollars each day, but don't take any of the cabbages?
...

A husband and wife are out to dinner for their anniversary...

The husband raises his glass and toasts “To 50 wonderful years together. It may not have always been easy, but I have always loved you and been honest with you, and I hope you have always loved and been honest with me as well”

The wife replies, “Well, remember when we were first married and y...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Oh, how nice (A joke from my 96 year old great-grandmother-in-law)

Two women are in the hospital. Their labor has started, but not progressed enough for delivery, so they are in a room waiting together.

"Is this your first child?" says the older woman.

"No," says the younger woman. "I have another."

"I have three." Continues the older woman. "A...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Buddhist Monk Goes to a Church

He walks up to the door of the church and nails an advertisement to the door.

The next day the Buddhist monk walks back to the church, only to find that his advertisement has been removed. He takes out another advertisement out of his bag, and promptly affixes it to the door with a nail.
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy accidentally says another girls name during sex

One day, Matt is fucking his girlfriend, Sarah, in his apartment, after they both spent some time together. They're both passionately going at it, and look into each others eyes, and as Matt is about to climax he yells "Ohhh, Angela!"

Sarah instantly stops, and gives a sharp cold look, and sh...

A man walks into a bar and bets drinks that while blindfolded, he can identify any animal pelt and what it was shot with just by touch...

Some patrons agree to the bet and he sits down. A blindfold is placed over his eyes and he is handed the first pelt.

He runs his hand over it and promptly replies, "It's a rabbit, shot with a .22 caliber rifle.

He is correct and is brought another pelt.

Again, he runs his hand o...

A farmer walks into his barn with a bucket.

He starts milking his cow, while a pesky fly continues to buzz around the cows head. Suddenly the fly goes straight in to the cows ear. The farmer doesn't think much of it, just continues milking, when suddenly it shoots out into the bucket. The farmer, freaked out, exclaimed "it went in one ear and...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A large group of first year medical school students filed into a lab...

...during their first week, for the first meeting of their gross anatomy class where they would be examining human cadavers. The professor walked to the front of the room, and addressed the students:

"The most important quality you will need as a physician is unfazability. Nothing can '...

A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "You dirty rat!" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by bea...

Three women escape execution and are on the run

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Night soon falls and they find refuge in a nearby farmhouse. The farmer, hearing the commotion, goes to investigate.

​

As he is poking around he is about to find the brunette, who is hiding in the cow pen. Thinking quickly, she says:
<...

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student, "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"

Professor, "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"

Student, "OK. So I'd like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as it is. If you ...

A French man, a British man and a Spanish man are caught stealing in a foreign country.

They are prosecuted and the judge sentences them all to 100 lashes each. However he wants to look lenient in the eyes of their respective countries so he reduces the lashes to twenty and allows them to have two requests each before being lashed.

The Spanish is first to be lashed and requests ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two Irish lads walking home from a pub...

Along the way, the older of the two starts babbling.

"You see that barn over there, Laddie? I built that barn with me own two hands. Framed it, roofed it, did it all me self. But do they call me a barn builder, Laddie? No, no they don't."

The two continue walking.

"You see that ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

4 years ago today, I shared the worst joke I ever created. Here it is again for those that missed it.

There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to g...

While stitching the hand of a 75 year old farmer, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the conversation got around to politicians and their roll as our leaders.

The old farmer said, “Well, as I see it, most politicians are ‘Post Turtles’.”

Not being familiar with the term the doctor ask him what a ’post turtle’ was.

The old rancher said, “When you’re ...

The Aussie and Texan

A Texan had flown to Australia to see his cousins farm. As the Texan arrives he remarks,

"Wow you call the little thing a truck, Over in Texas our trucks are three times as big" the Aussie farmer, standing next to ute shrugs and starts to show the Texan around.

As they a reach paddock ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Mom tells the truth.

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The...

Don't listen to people who bring you down.

Everybody told Beethoven that he couldn't continue producing music because he wasn't able to hear anymore..

But did he listen?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So Ms. Delinsky is trying to get her 4th-graders to settle down for a quiz.

She's been having real problems with her newest year of students, who as always seem way rowdier than the year before them. She blames smart phones and internet memes for this. However, Ms. Delinsky a clever lady, and she thinks she has a plan. She's going to start a 'meme' in her class: Quiz Positi...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Tiger tank

WW2 is raging and 3 Jews are walking along a road and they see a German tiger tank in the middle of the road.
One of them says " Let's push this tank to our village and sell it for scrap metal"
So they start to push the tank along the road and after 30 minutes one of them falls to the ground ...

Here's some Lame Game Dev Humour:

So, I used to work at a studio - doesn't really matter where - and there was this one guy who'd always be around. Just around. I didn't want to seem impolite so I never asked what he did. I kept my head down and did my thing, you know. I mostly forgot about him, except for when I'd be working late a...

A jockey is about to enter an race on a new horse.

The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but prom...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

&#x200B;

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen....

A Cowboy Walks Into a Saloon, Naked . . .

. . . except for his boots.

The place goes dead silent. The cowboy orders a drink, and the bartender asks, “Boy, you know you ain’t got no clothes on?”

“Yup,” drawls the cowboy, “but it ain’t my fault.”

“Ain’t yer fault?” says another fella in disbelief. “How’d you get nekkid, t...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A priest is about to die,

A fellow apprentice is with him, during his last days,



During the last moments the dying priest says "I will do everything in my power to get in contact with you once i'll be... there you know"



Quite surprised of this the apprentice nods and listens carefully to thi...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man goes to the local bar after a long day of work.

The man asks for a beer from the bartender and gets served his beer. While nursing the beer a drunk man stumbles up to him and says,

“Your mother gave me the best blowjob of my life last night.”

The man shrugs him off and goes back to nursing his beer, but the drunk is persistent an...

The quick thinking executive

To surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting on his lap.

Without hesitating, he dictated, "And in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just...

Bad tooth NSFW

[Warning: NSFW content, long story]

A man walks into a new bar his friends told him about and they decided to check out together. He goes up to the bartender to give a description of his friends and ask him if he's seen them, but before he gets the question off he sees his friends on the far ...

Trump is at an elementary school assembly and asks,...

"Does anyone know what a tragedy is?"

A kindergartener raises her hand and the president chooses her to answer, "A car crash."

"No, not quite." Responds Trump, "that would be an 'accident' ".

He then chooses a 4th grade boy. "If a school bus went off a cliff and all the kids die...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

(long) Three men die together and end up in front of the gates of Heaven...

St. Peter states to the three men "It is not widely known but in order to get into Heaven, you need to answer a simple question about religion." so, he turns to the first man and asks, "what is Easter?"

The man pauses and says, "Is that the holiday where we gather around the table with our fa...

Two orphan children are on the run after stealing a big basket of tangerines from the store

They run into the cemetery to hide, but drop two at the gate
Child 1: It's fine! We have plenty more in the basket. Hurry! We must hide!


They find a bush to take cover and begin counting out the tangerines...
"One for me, one for you, one for me, one for you"


They...

A 50 year-old woman visits her doctor

and reveals to her doctor that when she goes to the bathroom, pennies come out of her. The doctor replies, "Don't worry about it for now, but come back next week if it continues." The next week, she is back. "Now I go to the bathroom and out come nickels! What is going on?"

"I'm still not qui...

A cowboy strolls into town on his horse fireball and goes straight to the saloon. He drinks straight whiskey for a few hours, never moving except to take another drink. When he's done he gets up and walks out of the saloon.

He immediately runs back in and yells, "Alright! Who took fireball?" But nobody makes a noise.


He continues, "Okay, I'm gonna give y'all to the count of three then we're gonna have a repeat of what happened back in '71."


"ONE!" He pauses and nobody moves a muscle.

...

A tourist walks into a bar.

He asks for an Irishman named Seamus. The bartender points to an old man in the back, staring out the window and nursing a pint.

The tourist takes a seat next to Seamus. "Is it true, what they say about you?" He offers the old man a fresh pint.

Seamus smiles at the man, then curls back...

A farmer's wife is making breakfast for her husband...

As she's serving his breakfast, he grabs her breast and tells her "if these could give milk, we could get rid of the cows". Visibly upset, she continues cooking. A moment later he grabs his wife's crotch and tells her "if this could lay eggs, we could get rid of the chickens".

As the wife sit...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a pint from the bartender.

The second mathematician follows after him and orders half a pint.

The third mathematician follows along and orders a quarter of a pint.

The fourth mathematician then comes up to the bar and orders one-eighth of a pint....

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Jim was out drinking at the bar, when all of a sudden he pukes all over his shirt. "Dammit!" Jim yells "My wife is going to kill me when she finds out I was drinking and puked all over my self!"

"I have an idea" the man sitting next to him said "Here." and hands Jim a $50 bill.

"What's this for?" Jim asked.

"When you get home tonight, just tell your wife I threw up on you as you passed me on the street and I gave you the money for cleaning.".

"Great idea" Jim replies...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is driving through Alabama...

...when he notices a farmer that is having sex with a sheep. "That's disgusting!" he says to himself and continues driving. After a little while, the anger builds up so much that the man says to himself "I have to go back and give that farmer a piece of my mind." The man circles back until he reache...

Ralph is driving home one evening,

when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie G...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A priest is sitting inside the church, when a guy comes in and asks to be confessed.

“Very well, my child,” says the priest, as he leads the man into the confession booth, “Tell me about your sins.”

“Well, Father,” says the guy, “On Monday, I was at my girlfriend’s house, and, well… the two of us alone, the house empty… I sinned, Father.”

“Don’t worry, child,” says the...

[Possibly NSFW] Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain...

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click herefor more information.