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An Old prospector was coming back from town with his mule.

An Old prospector was coming back from town and he was leading his pack mule loaded with supplies down a winding valley road. A young gunslinger was riding his horse on the mountain Crest watching the old timer. He thought to himself I'm going to go down there and mess with that old man.
The youn...

I thought all the trees had broken when they lost their leaves last year. They're coming back now though.

What a re-leaf.

My dad called. He said he's coming back home after all this years.

The Boomer Rang

I love jokes about dad leaving for milk or something and not coming back

I'd tell them to my son but he probably wouldn't recognize me after all these years.

I don't understand it. My company told all employees to get tested for COVID-19, and to stay home until they get the test results. I got tested and called my boss to tell him I'm coming back to work on Monday. He asked me if I'm sure my test came back negative.

I told him I was positive. He told me to stay home.

A vampireis coming back from the toilet

"Do you know that they have a candy jar on the floor in there?"

My girlfriend ran off with a member of ISIS and said shes never coming back

I guess she didnt know what Jihad.

Studies show "not jokes" are coming back and are likely to be funnier than ever.

Not.

My friend almost died coming back from a Disturbed concert

He came down with the sickness

Thank you, thank you for always sticking up to me, thank you for always being there, thank you for always coming back to me even though I pushed you away and thank you for always sucking up to me.

Thank you mosquitoes!!!

Two sclerotic grannies are coming back from the cinema.

They encounter a grandson of one of them, who asks:
- "Hi grandma, what movie did you watch at the cinema?"
The old lady tries to remember the word she wants to say, but has trouble due to her bad memory, so she tries to guide the boy with the hints.
- "Umm... It's that thing that sticks fr...

What do you say to a 60-year-old who keeps coming back to the same topic.

Ok, boomerang.

Paddy was coming back from his holiday in America.

As he came through Customs, he had two sacks over his shoulders. The Customs officer asked him what he had in the sacks. Paddy replied Mobile phones.

The customs officer didn't believe him and asked to be shown. Paddy opened each sack and sure enough each contained quite a few phones. "What a...

A husband is coming back home after cheating on his wife.

He keeps all the lights turned off to not wake up his wife and starts walking up the stairs as quietly as possible.

While in the stairs, he feels someone else trying to walk past him.

Husband, whispering: *Hey, who is that?*

Stranger: Bro, whatever you're doing downstairs do it...

Why do so many people think Jesus is coming back?

He was nailed to a cross not a boomerang.

One day, Julius Caesar was in the marketplace with a friend, looking for a celebratory item after coming back from a successful campaign. He was looking towards a bust of his face, carved in marble.

But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"

My beaver left me and she's never coming back

She said I'm not worth a dam.

How do you tell a child their parents aren't coming back because they died due to gas poisoning?

They argon

I told my wife I was going down where the sun doesn’t shine and that I wasn’t coming back up until it had a good old spit shine.

Our cellar is long overdue a cleaning, you see.

Coming Back as a Hillbilly

Q. What do you call it when you die and come back as a hillbilly?
A. Reintarnation

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The war has ended, and children are coming back to school.

The teacher asks them: "What did you do during the war, kids?

And little Annie answers: "Me and my were were hiding partyzans under our house! We had to feed them, and not talk about the so the Gestapo wouldn't get them!"

Teacher: "That's very brave, Annie. And what did they say?'
<...

I tried leaving my old loveseat at the dump a few times, but it kept coming back....

Turns out it was a chaise.

Back in the day, I 'member me and my mom going to the store with two dollars in her purse and coming back with a big bag of spuds, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three gallons of milk, half a dozen eggs and coffee…

You can't do that anymore…too many security cameras…

A 3rd grade class is coming back from recess...

When they get into the classroom, teacher says:

'Alright, we have a new student today, so we'll start this class nice and easy with a small discussion - what did you do during recess?'

The new student looked very nervous, so the teacher decided to start with someone else.

'How ...

What do you call a scary cake that keeps coming back?

A boo meringue

My curved stick only started coming back to me after a few years.

It was a late bloomerang.

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