UPJOKE
worrydifficultyupsetdisturbdisquietperturbcarkdistractdistressdisturbancebotherinconveniencedisorderfussincommode

Johnny sits at the bar staring at his drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig, and menacingly says, “Well thank you! Whatcha gonna to do about it?"

Johnny burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can’t stand to see a man crying. What’s your problem?"

"This is the worst day of my life," Johnny says. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot...

We're in Trouble

The population of this country is 327 million.


76 million are retired.


That leaves 251 million to do the work. 


There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled.


Which leaves 203 million to do the work


There are 74 million chil...

The troubles of foreigners in Canada

A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.

"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."

"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."

"Wait a...

Whenever I'm in trouble, I ask myself what Jesus would do now.

And then I play dead and disappear from the scene for three days.

Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.

Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..."
"Oh no' Edna ...

Two mischievous boys, aged 8 and 10, are known for causing all sorts of trouble in their town. Their mother, hoping to discipline them, asks a preacher to speak to them. The preacher agrees, but he asks to see the boys individually.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sits the younger boy down and asks sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth drops open, he doesn’t respond but sits there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeats the question in an even sterner tone, "Where...

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A man and his wife are having trouble in bed...

... the woman never even gets close to having an orgasm. She complains to her husband that it is way too warm in their house and that's why she can't have an orgasm.

The man decides to consult a sex therapist for a possible solution. The therapist says the man should cool his wife off by waf...

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found ...

A blonde finds herself in serious money trouble...

Lost her job and she's in dire financial straits.

She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my job and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, and...

Does anyone else have trouble remembering whether the postal abbreviation for Maine is ma, mi or mn?

Or is it just me?

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A man and his wife are having trouble with their sex life

So the man goes to the new sex toy shop, walks up to the counter and explains his situation.

The clerk says “I’ve got just the thing for you, it’s called magic penis” and retrieves it from the shelf behind him.

Man: how does it work?
Clerk: I’ll show you… “magic penis, counter!” ...

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I got in trouble for telling this joke in 5th grade on share a joke day.

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess with three handsome suitors.

Each suitor tried their best to charm the princess, but the princess could not choose which handsome suitor to marry.

The princess did love ping pong though, and so she decided to test the suitors' love.
...

A friend gave me a free guitar the other day, but I've been having trouble playing it

I guess I can't complain though, it's not often someone just gives you something with no strings attached

Mr. Johnson goes to the doctor because he's having trouble performing in the bedroom...

The doctor does a physical exsm and finds nothing wrong. He takes some blood to send to the lab and tells Mr Johnson he'll call with the results in a few days.

When the doctor calls 3 days later, he informs Mr Johnson that his blood work came back fine.

"Oh please doc, what else ca...

Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble.

You have my Word.

A retired boxer goes to see his doctor because he’s having trouble sleeping. “Have you tried counting sheep?” the doctor asks.

“I tried,” the boxer explains, “but every time I get to the number nine I stand up.”

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According to my therapist, I have extreme trouble verbalizing my emotions.

Can’t say I’m surprised.

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A man had some trouble lasting during sex

The doc told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He con...

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I'm having a meeting at my house for people who have trouble reaching orgasm.

Let me know if you can't come.

While sailing, I had trouble navigating the waters between Russia and Alaska.

I couldn't get my bearings straight.

Trouble with the car

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."

Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."

Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I"ll check it out. Where's the car?"
...

Guy races into a bar looking very flustered and says to the bartender "Quick, give me a shot of your finest Scotch before the trouble starts"

The guy downs the scotch in a single gulp and glancing nervously towards the doors says **"Quick, give me another shot of you finest Scotch before the trouble starts"**

The guy downs that Scotch too and says, ***"Quick, another shot before the trouble starts".*** The barman pauses and says **...

A tough guy walks into a bar, looking for trouble. Orders a boiler maker.

He downs the shot, turns to the guy on his right and punches him in the face.
“That's a right hook from American boxing.”

He drinks down the beer, turns to the guy on his left and kicks him in the belly. "That's a crane kick from Chinese Kung-fu."

He turns to see if anyone in the ba...

My dad told me this is why different branches of the military have so much trouble communicating.

They all have different vocabulary. For instance; "Secure that building."

Tell a marine that and he'll go kill everyone inside.

Tell a soldier and he'll put up razor wire, sandbags, and machine gun nests.

Tell a sailor and he'll go in and close and lock all the windows and door...

I'm having some real trouble mending my broken fence.

Can anyone here give me some tips?

I was told you guys are the best at reposting.

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Trouble asking a girl out

So there's this kid, let's call him Jerry. He's been eyeing this girl at school for months now, and there's a big dance coming up. He knows she doesn't have a date, and he would give anything to go with her- but there's a problem. Whenever he gets close to her, he gets an erection that would rival t...

What did the priest say in frustration when he had trouble making his bed?

Holy sheets!

Why did the child get in trouble for quacking like a duck?

Because he was using fowl language.

Elon Musk has always had trouble with relationships...

Even Twitter is now his X!

Why does Morrissey have trouble sleeping?

Because there's a light that never goes out.

A penguin has some car trouble...

A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk aro...

A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!”

“Well you’ve come to the right place.” says the bartender, “What’ll it be?”

The man replies “One water please”

“Just a water??”

“Yeah, I have kidney stones.”

Me: Doctor, I've been having trouble with my memory, I keep forgetting things

Doctor: Okay, how long has this been going on for?

Me: How long's what been going on for?

I have trouble keeping their jobs these days...

First I was working at a potato farm, but then I was sacked.

Next it was the tuna factory, but then I was canned.

Next I tried being a lumberjack, but then I got axed.

Next I found an opening at the crematorium, but then I was fired.

Next I screwed up at the gun manufactu...

Why did Emperor Palpatine have so much trouble walking around?

He had Darth Ritis

Some people have trouble telling apart pastries and confections...

But to me, it's a piece of cake.

Why didn't John Denver ever have trouble getting a date?

Because he was a plane down to Earth guy.

If you’re having trouble talking to girls just do it like Scrat from Ice Age

Bust a nut to break the ice

I'm trouble at school

A boy come home and tells his dad that he will be getting a call from school. Whhhhyyyyy asks dad. The boy says well I was in the lunch like and then was a bowl of apples. On the bowl was a sign that said only one... God is watching. A little farther down there was a bowl of cookies. I noticed there...

Divorced couples in Colorado are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana...

The judges have started issuing joint custody

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Police troubles

I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license...and all just because of a stupid police officer...
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:
Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"
Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."
...

In Trouble

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?”

The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.”

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A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students...

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. One day she asked Little Johnny what his problem was so he replied, „I'm too smart for the first grade, my sister is in the third grade anf I'm smarter than her too.“ The teacher took him to the principal's office and explained the s...

I got in trouble for telling my step dad he’s not my real dad.

Guess he’s a faux pa.

Girl Trouble

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His f...

If you have trouble lasting long in bed, try doggy style,

Because 2 human minutes is 14 dog minutes!

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How do you call a friend who has trouble performing sexually?

Doesn’t matter. He’s not coming.

The trouble with incest is that it

gets you involved with relatives.

A man went to the doctor because he had trouble falling asleep.

The doctor told him to count to 1000 every night to help him fall asleep.

So that night, the man got into bed and started counting to 1000. When he got to 50, he started feeling very tired, so he got up, made himself a coffee, and went back to bed to keep on counting.

Batman gets a call from Robin, who was having trouble with the car

"Batman, I can't get the Batmobile to start! I turn the Batkey, press the Batpedal, but nothing!"

Batman thinks a moment before asking "Did you check the battery?"

There are a few seconds of silence before Robin asks "What's a tery?"

Two guys were having car trouble.

Their car eventually broke down in the country near a farm. It was late and cold so they decided they would ask the farmer if he would put them up for the night.


They approached the farmhouse and knocked on the door. The farmer, a massive bearded hulk of a man, brandishing a double-barrel...

I was having trouble with my internet connection at the farm, so I moved my modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

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There was a guy who was having chronic trouble getting an erection.

After weeks of frustration, he finally decides he is going to go see a doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and eventually makes the diagnosis.

"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says.

"The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deterioratin...

A little old man starts having trouble hearing and goes to the doctor

“Doc, I'm having problems hearing!"

The doc says "Let's check you out.”

As he looks into the man's ear with his otoscope he says "It looks like there is some sort of foreign object in here.”

The doc takes his tweezers and pulls it out.

“It's a suppository,” the doc expl...

If I had a dollar for every time I had trouble going to sleep

I’d be able to afford a better mattress

If I go through the trouble of making you breakfast in bed, all I ask for is a simple thank you.

Not all this "how did you get in my house" nonsense.

Man.. you stomp on just one mouse till it's dead.. And everyone loses their mind and I get in a ton of trouble.

Disneyland sucks.

What do you call a pickle in trouble?

A pickle.

When Canada was first founded, its leaders were having trouble coming up with a name.

Unable to come up with any ideas, they decided the best course of action would be to draw random letters out of a hat.

One man pulled out a letter, cleared his throat, and read,

"C, eh."

The letter was written down. The man pulled out another letter and read,

"N, eh."
...

Why did the toilet paper have trouble crossing the road?

It got stuck in a crack

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My therapist said that I have trouble interpreting social cues.

I think she wants to sleep with me.

Why did Houdini have trouble scheduling his public escapes?

He was often tied up.

My roommate got in trouble with the police because he had two crows in our apartment as pets.

The cops arrested him for attempted murder.

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A deaf couple was having trouble communicating in the bedroom once the lights were out.

One day the wife signs to the husband, “Here’s what we can do. If you want to have sex, squeeze my left breast. If you don’t want to, squeeze my right breast.”

“Ok,” signs the husband. “And if you want to have sex, pull on my penis once. If you don’t want to have sex, pull on my penis 50 time...

Why do Hitmen have trouble maintaining steady relationships?

Because their dates are always afraid of being taken out.

Did you hear about the chiropractor who got in trouble with the IRS?

It was for back taxes.

My LGBTQ+ programmer friend told me they were having trouble with some data inputs the other day...

I think it's because they're non-binary

My music teacher at school told me never to hit a drum again or I could get in serious trouble.

I did, and he was right. There was serious re-percussions

I got in trouble my bookstore today...

...they didn't appreciate me moving The Handmaid's Tale to non-fiction.


(My heart goes out to the US. I'm so sorry.)

I have trouble with etymology and entomology...

...I can never find the right word and it really bugs me.

Got in trouble with wife last night....

I told her that if she was a celestial body, she would be a supernova.
She said "Because I am so hot?"
I shouldn't have replied "no, because you are expanding at an alarming rate."

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-Johnny you can't bring your cat to the school you're gonna be in trouble for it

\-I know but I can't leave it at home

\-why ?

\-I heard my dad talking to my mum and said : "once the kid goes to school I'm gonna eat that pussy"

Having trouble remembering something? Just post it to r/Jokes!

Then you'll see it reposted everyday.

KGB had trouble with distinguishing Leonid Brezhnev and a spy who was about to impersonate him. Suddenly one of the officers had a great idea.

They told both of them "Say this sentence: Glory to USSR, our Motherland, the country of the people."

One of them says "Glory to USSR, our Motherland, the country of the people"

The second says "Glory to USSR, our... our... hmmm."

They asked him, why can't he repeat it.

T...

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Financial Trouble

A husband and wife have fallen on hard times and are at the end of their rope. After much debate and discussion, it is decided that the wife will go out and give blowjobs. The wife leaves for a few hours and then returns home.

Husband- “How’d it go?”

Wife - “Great. I made $300.25.”<...

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A man was having trouble sleeping at night....

....due to a persistent and irrational phobia of monsters being under his bed. Despite knowing that there were no such things as monsters, his brain refused to let go of the fear that had haunted him all his life. He was undergoing therapy with a psychologist, but had gotten nowhere in several years...

Engine trouble

Fifteen minutes into the flight from New York to Phoenix, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."

Thirty minutes later the captain a...

I got in trouble with the Super Soaker Mafia the other day

I had to be put in the Wetness Protection Program

Deep trouble

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.

The boys' mother heard that a rabbi in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she ...

A kindergarten student was having trouble putting on his boots, and asked his teacher for help.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. Finally they got both boots on. She grimaced when the little boy said, "They're on the wrong feet."
Sure enough, they were. The teacher kept her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the co...

If you've got flies in your house and are having trouble swatting them,

Invite an Italian over to tell you a story.

A man is in an emergency room complaining of severe stomach pains and bowel trouble. The physician says that the patient will need a rectal exam.

The doctor positions the patient on the bed on his side and puts on a latex glove.

As he lubes up his glove, he says, "Don't get excited and move too much like last time, Peter"

The patient says, "My name isn't Peter"

The doctor says, "Mine is"

As the inventor of the USB port, I cannot believe so many people have trouble inserting USBs the correct way.

After all, I even designed them to flip direction after an incorrect insertion to help.

A traffic cop went through the trouble of putting a note on my windshield to let me know I positioned my car correctly.

It said 'parking fine' so that was nice.

My friend told me he has trouble getting a date for Valentine's day.

I don't understand what's so hard about it. They literally grow in trees.

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A man goes to an astrologer and then to a doctor for advice because he has trouble in performing bowel movements. Both of them said the same thing.....

"Uranus is not in the right position".

An elderly man is having trouble keeping his balance on the bus

His cane is slipping on the floor. On every turn of the bus, he loses his balance and barely escapes danger of falling. So he starts looking around if someone will give him their seat.

A sitting rebellious type youngster patronizes him: "Hey old man, if you put some rubber on the tip of your ...

a lot of people have trouble with math

5 out of every 4 people

As an Italian, I am often confused when people have trouble addressing my dwarf father

I mean, it's a little apparent.

Johnny raises his hand in class and asks, “Teacher do you think someone should get in trouble for something they didn’t do?”

The teacher responds, “Of course, not!”

Johnny: “Oh, good. I didn’t do my homework.”

Why do pirates have trouble with the alphabet?

They spend years lost at C.

A man and his wife are having trouble conceiving.

They asked a priest who was going to live in Rome to light a candle for them.

A number of years later the priest came back stateside and went to visit the family. The husband was not at home, but the woman was surrounded by children. The priest enquired about the husband, and the wife told hi...

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3 students at a high school get into trouble and are put on detention after school.

But instead of just sitting in a classroom they are tasked with helping the school Janitor clean the school basement.

So they set about clearing the basement. They find loads of old junk, which had accumulated over the 80 years the school had been open.

After about an hour of movi...

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Santa and Mrs. Claus’ relationship is in trouble

Santa and Mrs. Claus’ relationship is in trouble after a misunderstanding while sexting. He tried to say “I’m touching myself” but forgot the s and now she doesn’t know what to believe.

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A man got in trouble with the IRS

A man got in trouble with the IRS, because he had too much unexplained money in his bank account. So he called his lawyer and said he'd pick him up on the way to the IRS. When they enter the office, the agent says, "Sir, I'm afraid you're gonna have to explain how you have so much money in your acco...

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My smart ass mouth always gets me in trouble.

I was rear-ended, which caused me to rear-end the car in front of me. The driver, who was a dwarf, approached
aggressively after the accident yelling, "I am NOT happy."

I decided that I would try to lighten things up and answered,
"OK, I can see that, but then which one are you?" ...

The whole town is in trouble!! A joke, old yet good..

A boy called up his mom from hospital, “Mom, I took tests and they declared that I have AIDS.”

Mom, “What? Don’t come back home son, go away.”

Boy “Why mom, I’m your son.”

Mom, “You foolish boy! If you come back home, then your wife will be infected, from your wife to your broth...

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A guy goes to the doctor because he’s been having trouble with his sex life.

The doctor gives him an examination and says: “Look, you’re just out of shape. Run ten miles every day and I guarantee you’ll start to feel better.”

A week later the guy calls his doctor back and says “Gee thanks for the advice doc, I’ve been running ten miles a day and I feel great!”
...

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Computer trouble

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.

Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
...

Spending time with grandpa got me in trouble.

Well. Today was a nice day until it wasnt.

I got up early and went out to spend some time with my grandfather. I had the greatest idea ever actually! So anyway I stink at writing details so I will get to the point. I was making sand castles with my grandpa and got kicked out by everyone at t...

I’ve always wondered why my local grocery store has trouble keeping the herbs stocked.

I guess there’s just never enough thyme.

A manufacturing plant was in trouble, and nobody knew why.

A manufacturing plant was in trouble, and nobody knew why. They finally brought in an expert to fix the problem.

The guy basically walks in, inspects the equipment, takes out a chalk piece, marks one unit with an X mark and leaves.

The plant’s owner replaces the unit and viola! everyth...

What seem to be the trouble

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble

Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that

nobody can hear what I say.

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?

Doctor: You're in good health. You'll live to be eighty

Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now

Doctor: Se...

I got in trouble with my wife after she offered me a threesome.

I had asked, 'What are their names'?

I got in trouble because of a commercial

I went to the store because I needed some milk. I got my milk, a pizza, french fries and a candy bar. I went to the self checkout , paid for my milk and started to leave.

A cashier stopped me and told me I hadn't paid for all my stuff.

I calmly pulled out my insurance card and told he...

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A father is called into the principle's office because his son is in big trouble.

The father sits down next to his son with the principle across at his desk.

"We caught your son selling pot for 15 dollars a joint out back. He's permanently expelled. You're lucky we didn't call the cops."

The father looks at his son with horror and disgust. He gets up quickly and dra...

Why do atheists have trouble with exponents in math?

They don’t believe in a higher power....

Hear about the vampire who had trouble biting people properly?

He had dysnecksia.

How can you tell when seaweed is in trouble?

It yells "kelp!"

If you are having trouble unlocking your front door, take out your wallet and arrange all the bills in mathematical order.

Because organizing your finances is key.

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Two Irishmen are on a cruise when the ship encounters trouble.

The ship breaks in two and sinks rapidly and the two Irishmen are the only survivors, having secured a small lifeboat. They are adrift at sea with no land in sight. Suddenly they see something floating on the waves. It's a small, ancient lamp, and when they retrieve it and dry it off a genie suddenl...

Did you hear that Spiderman is in trouble with the law?

They caught him on the web looking for Mary-Jane.

One time at the pub I told a violent trouble maker to step outside so I could give him a good hiding

He still hasn't found me

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A middle-aged couple is having trouble in bed.

A middle-aged couple is having trouble in bed - namely, the husband is having trouble making his wife orgasm. They visit a sex therapist who recommends they hire a young man to give the wife a foot massage during sex, hopefully to relax her and help her orgasm. They try it, and the husband fucks his...

A man is having trouble with a crossword puzzle, and asks his wife for help

"What's another word for an overloaded mailman? 16 across".

"How many letters?", she replies.

"Thousands I'd imagine."

A Husband was a bit embarrassed and told the Doctor he had trouble getting an Erection with his Wife and she was getting frustrated.

The Doc checked the man's blood pressure and other vitals, then after a thorough examination said he wanted to check with the Wife.

He took Her to another cubicle and asked her to disrobe.

Then he told her to turn all the way around slowly.

She did as instructed.

He then ...

I always have trouble picking a font

Every font I look at, I think, "Nope, this one's not my type."

I hear they’re having trouble keeping track of people in Afghanistan

Now that there’s a tally ban

I had a dream I turned into a young chicken and had trouble changing back to being a human.

Luckily, I was able to pullet off...

Dad I burnt the school down, am I in trouble?

"You arson."

What did the geometry teacher say when the class had trouble solving a problem?

Let’s try a different angle

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One day I was having trouble starting my car and my neighbor comes over and says “need a jump?”

Then he called over three of his friends and kicked my ass.

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Writing a book called "The Art of Not Giving a Fuck". Will I get into legal trouble?

The difference is subtle.

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A small business owner in financial trouble was told by his accountant that he needed to cut staff

The accountant said, "Jack and Susan have the highest salaries, so one of them will have to be laid off."

The owner replied, "Susan is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I'll have to think this over, and maybe discuss it with both of them."


The next morning, the o...

I'm in big trouble with my wife. We were in bed and she asked, what I'd like to do most with her body?

Apparently, "Identify it." wasn't the right answer!!

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A husband and wife are having money trouble and decide the wife needs to work the streets as a hooker.

Two days later she comes back with $225.25. The husband says "that's good, but what cheap bastard gave you 25 cents?" The wife responds "all of them"

Which legendary soul singer had trouble peeing?

Urethra Franklin

I'm having trouble focusing on my work

said the bigfoot photographer.

I was having trouble finding the answer on a question about lightning

But then it struck me

How do you call a fish that has trouble walking?

Limpin Karp

I got in a bunch of trouble for something I didn't even do...

... it was my homework

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A man and his wife are having some trouble in the bedroom.

No matter what they try, the wife does not climax. They tried everything, from Lady on Top to Inverse Wheelbarrow, but the wife never reaches orgasm.

Eventually they decided that they needed some outside assistance, so they went to a doctor for some advice.

After they explained their...

In New York there are many tattoo artists from all over the world, but for some reason the artists from Spain have trouble getting business.

Why? Because nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!

I'm in trouble with my girlfriend.

According to her diary, I have "boundary issues".

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What does Philosophy, Anal and getting in trouble with the mafia have in common?

Deep Shit

Why do people who live on dead end roads have trouble charging their phones?

Because there’s no outlet

An old man has trouble getting it up with his wife...

He has tried pills, oils, anything he can get his hands on, but nothing works. He tells his buddy about this, and his buddy says "I know a witch doctor who has a remedy for this. Go see her, she will help you out.


The old man goes to the witch doctor and explains his problems. "I know jus...

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