On a plane is full of Redditors, a man starts having a heart attack.

One of the flight attendants notices this and quickly shouts: “People of the plane, we’re having an emergency! Is anyone on this plane a doctor?”


Immediately, five people stand up and say
"I'm not a doctor, but...

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A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute…

A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute…

He says “how much for a hand job?” She says it’s $250. He says, “ $250 for a lousy hand job? That’s crazy!“

She says, “Honey, follow me “and takes him outside. “See that Ferrari? I bought that Ferrari just with money from hand jobs. I give...

An English couple decided to adopt a little German boy. After two years, the child doesn’t speak and his parents start to worry about him. After three years, he still has not spoken and after four years, he has yet to utter a word.

The English couple figure he is never going to speak but he is still a lovely child, and on his next birthday, they threw him a party and made him a chocolate cake with orange icing.

The parents are in the kitchen when the boy comes in and says, “Mother, Father, I do not care for the orange i...

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don’t know what to do.

About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.

The doctor says to the woman, “I know what we’ll do. After I’ve operated on the priest, I’ll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle.”

“Do...

What starts with T, ends with T and has T in it?

A teapot

A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male genitals.

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...

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That's how the fight got started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

... She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I ...

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Starts with an F and end with K

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. B...

Start with the punchline.

How do you tell a time travelling joke?

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An old man walks into a chemist and starts examining packs of viagra...

Nurse: Do you need any help there, sir?

Old Man: Yes, every Saturday my wife wants to have sex, but unfortunately, I can never get an erection. Which brand of viagra would you recommend?

Nurse: Well sir, everyone is different, but if you come with me to the counter, I can get you a pac...

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little frisky. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her: “Honey, would you take me upstairs?”

Horrified, she replies: “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” he asks, grinning at her.

“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

“Oh come on! There’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”


“No way. It’s just too ri...

On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week.

Runs until Friday.

My teacher always starts her class by reading one of the posts from r/jokes, but today she’s absent.

So instead, a subreddit.

An aging farmer decided it was time for his youngest son to start pulling his weight around the farm.

His older, strong-armed and favoured son, Jedediah worked hard every day, getting up extra early every morning to milk the cow before dutifully doing the rest of his chores.

The farmers delicious milk became very popular around the area with neighbours often walking miles in for a glass and ...

The William Shatner wanted to start up a line of female underwear.

Unfortunately "Shatner Panties" wasnt the greatest brand name.

A few minutes before the church service started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was i...

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Two young boys think it's about time to start swearing.

All of their friends swear, but it's just never been their thing. But tomorrow is the day! They decide to have a sleepover so they can start swearing together.
The morning comes and both boys wake up excitedly and head downstairs to breakfast. The mother asked her son "what would you like for br...

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

He asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies ...

When do the coronavirus symptoms start to kick in?

Right off the bat

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This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead sitting at the next table. He’s been sneakily checking her out ever since he arrived, but doesn’t have the courage to start talking to her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. His reflexes kick in and he reaches out, plucks it out of the air, and hands it back to her.

The redhead is mortified. “Oh my, I am so sorry,” she says as she pops her eye back into place. “Let me buy your ...

My wife called because the car wouldn't start.

She said it has water in the carburetor. Knowing my wife has no knowledge of anything mechanical I said, "and how do you know there's water in the the carburetor?"
She said, "because I drove off the pier and it's in the ocean. "

I started carrying a gun after an attempted mugging a few years ago....

...since then my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.

A woman goes to her psychiatrist and starts to complain.

-"I don't want to get married. I am an educated, independent woman and I am happy by myself. I don’t need a husband, but my parents insist me to get married. What should I do?"

The psychiatrist : "You, no doubt, will achieve wonderful things in life. But at some point, some things will not ...

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and possibly use lubricant

What happens if the Queen of England starts coughing?

Prince Charles Corona-tion.

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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor for help. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervious I take a sip."

So the next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon return to his office after mass he found the following note on his door:

Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.

There are 10 commandments, not 1...

What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car?

A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.

Recently started dating a chinese girl but not sure if I want to keep going.

She’s been raising a lot of red flags.

The Corona virus meets the Ebola virus. They start dating. One thing leads to another and the Corona virus bangs the Ebola virus.

Nine months later the Corolla virus is born.

What kind of organization does an atheist start?

A non-prophet one

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair,

until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting.

He said, “Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it’s completely gone now. My hair can’t be saved. But look outside at the forest. It’s such a lovely forest with so many trees, b...

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What thing starts with F and ends in UCK?

Firetruck.
Kid's thought this was fucking hilarious.

What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car.

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A lady who is cheating on her husband

There's a lady who is cheating on her husband. One day while they are having sex she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says "oh no! What should we do?!" She says "hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!" Once they're in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder al...

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A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes, so he walks down to the store only to find it closed.

So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3 a.m. and says, “Oh no, it...

TIL Dennis Rodman once tried to start a topless women’s basketball league

The league flopped due to too little support.

Did you know that people are starting to relapse and get Coronavirus a second time?

They’re calling it “dos sickies”

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A Reddit user, a Reddit user, and a Reddit user walk into a bar.

The first one orders a coke. Five minutes later the second one orders a coke and the whole bar starts cheering, another five minutes later the third one orders a coke and the whole city erupts in thunderous applause.

Edit: whoever wasted money on giving me silver, I'd like you to know that I'...

I searched on google “how to start a forest fire.”

It cam up with around 48,500 matches.

Gonna start a condom company, buy I'm still working on the name.

I think I'm gonna go with Don't Kid Yourself. That's also what the magnum size is called though.

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A Wife took a DNA test for her kid

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks strange so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you.

Husband: What's up?

Wife: According to DNA t...

I'm gonna start a cocaine delivery service

I'll call it instagram

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Two Asian men walked into a restaurant and immediately started masturbating...

The waitress was shocked and asked them why they were doing this. To this, one of the guy's replied, "It's written outside, 'First come, first serve'. "

A man starts a new job as a bartender.

The manager of the bar was showing him around and said, "You need to know that the customers here order drinks in a peculiar way."

"How so?" asked the new bartender.

"Well, they use a lot of abbreviations instead of the names of the drinks."

"Doesn't sound so bad, I think I can ...

My Toyota was slow to start this morning

It must have this Corollavirus.

A mexican woman walks into a car dealership and starts looking at a car. A salesman asks if she needs any help or got any questions.

Her: Cargo space?

Salesman: Car no do that. Car no fly.

What starts with 'M' and ends with 'arriage'?

Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, like the baby.

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Tim has been dating his girlfriend for months, but he was never able to get her to orgasm...

He tried everything. Different positions, speeds, different lubes, even different music playing in the background. Nothing worked. Finally, she complains that she's just too hot during sex, and being all sweaty kills the mood.

So not having an electric fan to cool them down, Tim invites his ...

What's a race that starts with an N, ends with an R and has 6 letters

Nascar

Sometimes i just start talking to myself for no reason

haha me too!

I starting wearing depressing outfits

It saves time on laundry, since a lot of the time they hang themselves.

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My parents told me to start liking manlier things.

So I did and now I’m gay

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Job Interview

A guy goes into the US postal service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"OK, have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."

Th...

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I just started sexual relations with a blind woman...

... it's great but has it's challenges.

Took me ages to get her husbands voice correct.

A man is involved in a minor car accident and starts screaming and shouting like a baby

A cop approaches the car and says: "Sir, the ambulance is on its way. Your girlfriend has blood on her face, yet she sits there patiently. You appear to be fine, why are you crying so loud?"
The man replies: "Check what's in her mouth!"

What starts with 10 legs but end with 8?

One Direction.



Ill see myself out.

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As I lay in bed, gently nodding off, I felt a warm hand slip inside my boxer shorts and gently start to caress...

...my balls.


It was very nice, but I wasn't in the mood.


"Not tonight, honey," I mumbled. "I'm too tired."


"It fucking doesn't quite work like that in here." rasped my cellmate.

A botanist starts playing minecraft, and he becomes a mathematician

He had to calculate the cubic root

I want to start a deer breeding business

but first I'm gonna need about 5000 bucks

Two guys are in the locker room changing, and one guy puts on a pair of panties. "jeezus, when did you start wearing womens panties?" the 1st guy asks.

"Ever since my wife found them in my glove compartment!"

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To get my girlfriend in the mood, I start counting in a really sexy and seductive voice

I call it four play

I told my wife I was gonna start smoking pot. She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say...

Marijuana truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.

Starbucks Reacts to Covid-19: Baristas to start wearing masks

Our as they call them, coughee filters.

It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it you're adding raisins and marshmallows

it’s a rocky road

My wife said the mutt wanted something that starts with D and ends with K.

How was I supposed to know she meant “dog park”?

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When it started to fall apart...

A much older man married a sweet young girl. On their wedding night, he came strutting out of the hotel bathroom, swinging it.

He: Do you know what this is called, Honey?

She (giggling): That's a pee-pee.

He (chucking): Oh no, Honey, this is a cock.

She (giggling): O...

I've started to learn how to raise the dead to improve my love life,

I've become a neck romancer.

I’m gonna start a religion about that Jewish guy who went around trying to help poor people but was killed because he was betrayed by one of his former close allies

I’m calling it Trotskyism

Wanna know how we knew communism was doomed from the start?

Because of all the red flags.

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I’m in a taxi and there's this guy and girl sitting next to me and all of a sudden the girl lifts up her top, pops out a titty and the guy just starts sucking on her nipples...

they didnt care who sees them and it went on for 5 minutes with lots of witness in the taxi...

the girl is about 27 years old and the guy is about 3-4 months old I think.

What do you call a 60-year old whose puberty just started?

A late boomer

If you start watching *When Harry Met Sally* at 11:15 pm, when the clock strikes midnight and brings in the new year...

You will still be just as single as when you started the movie.

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and people started cheering when the chef made a meringue .

I was shocked. Usually Australians boo meringue.

The start of my opiate addiction...

...was surprisingly painless.

A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the
porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?"


Delighted, the girl quickly responded,
"How about $50?"

...

My wife was in labour and started shouting "Wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't, didn't, can't!"

"Don't worry", said the midwife "they're just contractions."

What starts with the letter P and has a bagillion letters in it?

a POST OFFICE





This joke was told to me by my 6 year old brother and I thought it was just too good.

Why does the goldfish start fading to white?

Too much artifishal coloring.

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before".

So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm... that was some good lion meat!".

The lion abruptly stops and says "woah! This guy seems tougher then he l...

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How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

What do you call pudding that’s starting to go bad?

Off-pudding

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Good sex starts at 50

But it's much better over a 100 bucks

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My daughter has started asking me questions about the human body

I thought I locked the basement I don't know how she keeps getting down there

A nun wakes up one morning and starts her day.

As she walks through the hall and passes by some other nuns they smirk at her and say “did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?”. As she continues some other nuns smirk and say the same thing “did you get up on the wrong side of the bed?” She says no and keeps going. For a third time, as she pas...

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At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.

The drunk tried it and said, “It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acc...

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The giant monster cannibal was eating a large amount of people, he asked why he started feeling sleepy after eating a group of women who were out drinking. He asked his other giant monster eater friend why he felt sleepy

He said, “because that’s a bar bitch you ate.”

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A nine-year-old boy was in his mother’s bedroom while his father was away at work.

Suddenly, he heard his mother coming in with a man and hid in the closet. The two kissed, then began to make out, before suddenly the front door opened and the boy could hear his father calling from downstairs. His mother quickly took her lover and shoved him into the closet, unaware that her son wa...

I just started reading fishing jokes

Now I’m hooked.

"I'm starting a new job"

What sort of job?

"I'm an expert egg beater"

That's a whisky business

I was gonna start a new diet tonight...

...but I have too much on my plate.

A teacher just started working at a new school

During recess he sees a boy smoking in the corner and decides to walk up to him.

He says to the boy "how would your mother feel when she saw this?"

The boy answered "I think she would be very glad."

"Oh and why is that?" Asked the teacher.

To which the boy replied "becaus...

My neighbour is a clown for childrens parties. Evertime I turn my back to get ready for bed, he sneaks into my house in full costume and starts banging my wife. I can see them, in the mirror, going at it while I'm brushing my teeth.

They keep on telling me that I'll look back and laugh at it one day.

A man is walking his disabled dog that has a wheelchair for her front legs. It starts barking at a passerby that looks scared of the dog. The man assures the passerby that it's okay...

She's armless.

I started a group for people who talk too much

I call it On and on Anon

I'm thinking about starting up a neurodivergent, mermaid-themed parody band of AC/DC. It's gonna be called

OCD Sea

My friend came down with a flu... then started singing 80s bangers.

We think he may have the MySharona Virus.

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I started a dating site for older people.

OK Boomer

I want to give a big shoutout to the priest who helped jump-start my Kia the other day...

...he saved my Soul.

Two men are sitting on a park bench

And a stray dog comes along and sits down next to them. Then the dog starts licking its balls.

The men watch for a moment and one says "Gosh, I wish I could do that."

The other says "Well, you'd better pet him a little first."

So I started this new underwater band-project

I hope you guys like aquapella!

I was confused as to why my neighbor started selling empty perfume bottles...

It made no scents

I just started a short book on the history of luminance.

It's a little light reading.

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You know that awkward moment when you're cumming and your mom starts calling you?

Me neither, when I masturbate I normally am the one who calls out her name.

I started to see a reverse psychologist.

She told me to kill myself.

One of my friend, an introvert is amazingly cool person. You give him time and will start to grow on you....

He really is a fungi.

I’m going to start hosting Christmas orgys

It’s a time when we should all come together

A very old couple are lying naked in bed, and the wife asks, "What would you do if I started smoking?"

He replies, "Slow down and use some lube."

I tried carpentry once. I started by trying to nailing some old, reclaimed wood together. I wasn't successful so instead I just though...

Screw it.

A man goes to a music store and starts copying down some sheet music

Clerk: "Sir, are you plagiarising that music?"
Man: "No, I'm just taking some notes"

My car wouldn't start so I tried to jump it.

Now I've got a dead battery *and* a broken rib.

I just upgraded the office network after-hours and left home for the day. I haven't heard anything from the employees who started work this morning.

I guess you could say I've created Schrödinger's network - until I go there I won't know whether everything's working, or if they're cut off from the outside world.

I’ve started selling land mines disguised as prayers mats.

Prophets have been going through the roof.

A woman placed some flowers on the grave of her dearly departed mother and started back toward her car when her attention was diverted to another woman kneeling at a grave.

The woman seemed to be crying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first woman approached her and said, "I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For who...

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A shipwreck, only Scarlett Johansson and some random dude survived on an deserted island...

They didnt know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasnt anybody else ...

"I started dating a girl from another nation"

"Oh really? Which one?

" Imagination"

I told my doctor I wanted to start a vegan keto diet.

She told me "that's nuts."

They finally found how Australian fires started

Fire

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A bra, car battery and some jumper cables walk into a bar..

The car battery and jumper cables go find a seat while the bra asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you! You're obviously off your tits and your two mates look like they're about to start something."

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I just started a financial advisor/ credit repair company called Financial Fiber.

I help you get your shit together.

I’m starting an online dating site for men who want to meet someone just like their mother.

It’s called Oedipal Arrangements.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'...

Why did the koala start last?

He didn't koalafy for his race.

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The Japanese were winning at at start of the war

But they lost midway

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[NSFW] A rooster sees a cat fall in a pool and starts laughing hysterically.

What's the moral of the story?

A wet pussy makes a happy cock.

A man starts his first day at a new job...

Jim begins his first day at work and is discussing his setup with his boss Alex.

Jim: Where will I be working?

Boss (Alex): You are going to be working in that cubical with Donkey right over there, why don’t you go introduce yourself.

Jim: (*walks over*)Hello my name is Jim and ...

What sound did the 777 airplane make when it started bouncing up and down?

Boeing boeing boeing

I started laughing at the mess the ice made

That titanic memorial didn’t work out well

A kids mom is starting to get old

The kid asks his mom: Mommy, why are some of your hairs white?

The mom answers: For every dumb thing you do one of my hairs turn white.

The kid than says: Ohhhhhhhh, so that’s why grandmas hair is so white.

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

How do you start a rave?

Throw a flashbang into an epileptic children ward

My friends and I started a band called Duvet recently

We only do covers.

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My girlfriend has started to smoke after sex

So now we use lube

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I vowed to start practicing safe sex.

So I bought your mom some kneepads

In his grandfather's overcoat pocket, a man finds a ticket for shoes left for repair in 1955

A man is cleaning out his grandfathers home after the grandfather passed away at 90.
In one of the grandfathers old overcoats pockets he finds a ticket for some shoes that the grandfather had left to be repaired, dated from 1955.
In curiosity the man checks online and is surprised to see t...

I only drink alcohol on days that start with a "T"

Today and tomorrow

Did you hear about the time that all the musicians in the parade dropped their instruments and started rioting?

It was total bandemonium

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Two young brothers decide its time they start cussing....

Two young brothers decide its time they start cussing. So one night the elder makes a plan, "this morning at breakfast, I'll say damn and you say fuck" the younger agrees and they go to bed eager for the next morning.

Breakfast time comes and their mother ask what they'd like to eat. The olde...

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Recently started therapy with the wife.

Fucking great, now two people hate me, both have my number and I'm paying both of them.

"Start the year with a bang!"

America really did.

As a lumberjack starts his chainsaw he hears the tree begin to cry. “Please don’t cut me down!” The tree pleads, “I’ll do anything!” The lumberjack says, “Fine! If you can solve this impossible riddle that has fooled some of the greatest minds from doctors, writers to philosophers, I’ll spare you.”

The tree was stumped.

I recently started investing heavily into penny stocks.

It just seemed to make a lot of cents...

I saw this fisherman lose an absolutely epic fish and he started crying inconsolably.

I told him "Never mind, mate. Plenty more women on the land".

20 canibals started working in an IT company

After about six months their boss comes up to them and says that he is very pleased with their work, that they're exemplary emloyees and that he is very happy to have them. He also says that the cleaning lady has vanished a couple of days ago and asks if they happen to know anything about that.
<...

What do you do for someone who has just started getting into bdsm?

Show em the ropes

How many people does it take to start a pandemic?

Only Wuhan.

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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start...

So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already

A new undertaker firm has started using glass coffins. Will they be accepted?

Remains to be seen

Man, I hate it when the date picker for my birthday on a website starts with the current date.

Do they think that I was born yesterday?

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

Texas A&M got into a battle with the Longhorns and started throwing grenades.

So the Longhorns took the pins out and threw them back.

One day, Albert Einstein was on his way to a science convention for a speech.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

"I'm sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!"

The driver agrees: "You're right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don't know anything about science, I could giv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back...

The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the so...

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: What in the hell is that?

Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Arlene: Where did you get it?

Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.

The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box...

It is fitting that Coronavirus started in communist China

because everyone is going to get it.

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