Which word has 6 letters, starts with an N and ends with an R and is related to a Race

NASCAR

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough” more or less, had adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

They chatted ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What starts with “f” and ends with “k”?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what exactly is your problem?”
Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she! I think I should be in the 3rd gra...

How does every racist joke start?

With a look over your shoulder.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

There's something a lot of girls want, that guys have below their waist. It starts with p and ends with s

Pockets

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down & probably use some lubricant

Endgame Spoiler : Tony Stark and Bucky becomes partners to start a business at the end of the movie.

They name it Starbucks.

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He immediately yanks the dog and starts to spin him in the air like a lasso.

The bartender freaks out, "What are you doing?!?!"


The blind man replies calmly, "Oh, just having a look around."

Why did the Mexican start taking Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A group of bored military officers start talking about whether sex is work or fun

The lieutenant goes first and says, "I feel that making love is 80% fun and 20% work."

Then captain responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work."

Finally, the major says, "No, making love is definitely way more ...

After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names.

In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain.

What starts with an "O" and ends with "nions" and sometimes make you cry?

Opinions

A woman starts to scream while giving birth.

​

"What's wrong, honey?" her husband asks.

"What's wrong?!?" the woman shouts, "THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"

"Sorry babe. What is wrong?"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

It was getting crowded in Heaven one day, so Saint Peter decided for one day to only accept people who could make him laugh.

A man came walking up to the pearly gates and Saint Peter said to him:

“Alright bud, you’re only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why don’t you tell me about how you died”

The man looked at Saint Peter and said

“Oh man it was awful, I was absolutely SURE my wife wa...

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror!

The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

Elon Musk needs to start a new company,

Elon Must.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A married couple is having some issues in their relationship and decide to see a marriage councilor. They sit down on the couch and the councilor says, "I'd like to start this session off by focusing on the positive things in your relationship. Tell me, what do you have in common?"

The husband quickly replies, "Neither one of us sucks dick."

A good romance starts with trust, kindness, and mutual respect.

**A bad romance starts with RAH RAH AH AH AH...**

The Jones didn't have any children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jones kissed his wife and said, "I'm off, honey. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell with the hopes of making a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to....."

"Oh, there's no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Jones cut in.

"You have?" the photographer asked....

My friend Jack has recently started an odd behavior. Every time I see him he starts hissing.

And then he proceeds to let me down gently.

Teacher," Tell me a sentence that starts with an 'I'."

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an 'I'. Always put 'am' after an 'I'.

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress

## But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:

Error: failed to establish connection with server.

If bees start writing software

Beware

A lost dog strays into the jungle one day. From a distance, a lion sees this and thinks to himself, "Hmmm, this guy looks edible, I've never seen his kind before". So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.

As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"

The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.

Over in a tree, is...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A boy is at school, and they start the day by telling riddles

The boy says: it goes in, it goes out! The teacher becomes red and angry. Get out! The teacher said. So the boy goes onto the hallway. There he meets the principle, who asks him what he is doing there. I got send out of class, because I asked: it goes in, it goes out! The principal get angry, and sa...

A man rushes home late from work, slams the door open and plops himself down on the sofa. He turns on the tv and looks at his wife “quick” he says “get me a beer and some food before it starts!”

The wife gets up slowly looking startled but slightly excited. She wanders into the kitchen and comes back quickly with a beer and some food for her husband.

The man gulps down the beer and looks back to his wife “quick!” He says “get me another beer before it starts!” The man goes back to fl...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Quick, before it starts

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!"

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said, "Quick! Bring me another beer! It's gonna start!"

Thi...

The month of Ramadan starts tomorrow. To all the Redditors observing Ramadan,...

...Lunch is on me.

If you meet a woman, start talking about global warming.

It’s a real icebreaker.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man sitting at the Bar has been telling some of his favourite blonde jokes when just as he starts to tell another he is interrupted by a blonde lady.

She points to the table directly behind him and says "do you see those two blonde ladies? Well they are both professional UFC fighters and I myself am a black belt in karate.. are you sure you want to continue this joke?"
Fuck no the man says, I'm not explaining it three times.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Psychology professor starts off his lecture by telling his students.

"Today we'll learn about the three stages of human emotion: surprise, irritation, and rage."

With that, he takes his phone out of his pocket, puts it on speaker, and dials a random number.

"Hello, may I please speak to Dave?" says the professor when the other person answers.

"No...

A blonde accidentally starts a fire and then calls 911

Phone operator: hello, what is you’re
emergency?

Blonde: Help my house is on fire!

Phone operator: please remain calm, how do we get there?

Blonde: in a big red truck, duh

The year is 1944. The Americans are advancing fast. Adolf Hitler is furious and starts to listen to defensive tactics proposed by his commanders...

The first commander suggests they pull out the tanks from the Eastern front and deploy them in the Western front, so that the defenses there would be hard to go past.

"Are you crazy? That's a horrible idea!" Hitler exclaimed.

The second commander steps in and suggests a horrible idea f...

A Jehovah's Witness starts a knock knock joke...

...but no one ever answers.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife just said we were gonna start having sex anally!!

Damn autocorrect....

​

Annually!!

A man places some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and starts back toward his car when his attention is diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seems to be praying with profound intensity and keeps repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”

​

The first man approaches him and says, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve eve...

Why did the white supremacist start a baking company?

Because his family had a long history of being in bread.

I should start making friends with beavers

They always seem to give a dam

I'm going to start an app for Gastroenterologists

And call it snapshat

I used to work at a start up mint

It was sort of confusing to me.
But now it makes all the cents in the world.

Why did Sweden start putting barcodes on their newest fleet of battleships?

So they could Scandinavian

Did you hear about the guy who was shot with a starter pistol?

Police think it is race-related

Why did the American start shooting the river?

He learned fish swim in schools

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A five-year-old and a four-year-old decide to start swearing...

A five-year-old and a four-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom.

"You know what?" says the five-year-old, "I think it's about time we start swearing." The four-year-old nods his head in approval. The 5-year-old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna say "hell", and you sa...

/u/username hates the hotel he is staying in and starts packing his stuff.

Username checks out.

My evening wouldn’t normally start out with an erection...

..but my morning wood.

I hate when Mommy and Daddy get drunk and start fights.

They are both way bigger than me and there are two of them. It's not fair.

How do you start a rave in africa?

Tie food to the ceiling

How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern...

Brilliant idea for a start-up

Imma build a new operating system which, when the disk gets full, randomly deletes half your files.

Gonna call it thanOS.

A blond girl , brunet girl, and black haired girl die and start their journey up to heaven.

Now to get to heaven these girls have to go up 100 steps. On each step there is a joke. If you laugh at a joke you fall straight to hell.
Now the brunet girl gets to about 25 steps then laughs hysterically at a joke about a dyslexic man.
The black haired girl goes much farther to about step 7...

Why does police hit percentage start to drop in the later time of the day?

Because they can't see the black guy

A pig walks into a bar, orders twenty beers, and starts chugging them all one by one.

“That’s impressive,” says the bartender. “Want to know where the bathroom is?”

​

The pig replies, “No thanks, pal. I’m just going to go wee wee wee all the way home.”

So a horse wants to start a band...

The horse needs some of his friend from the farm to help him out so they can become a band.

First he needs a guitarist, and who better than his friend chicken who played guitar for 3 years. He asks chicken if he wants to join and he agrees.

Next he needs a drummer, so horse thought a...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two men start talking at a high school reunion.

“It’s been a long time, what have you been up to?”

“I’m a business man now, I run a very successful company”

“Ah, I can see that by the briefcase and suit”

“What do you do?”

“Oh, arrr, I’m a pirate.”

“Ah, I see that by your peg leg, hook and eye patch. How did you ...

My Doctor told me to start killing people....

Well not exactly in those words, but he said "I had to reduce the stress in my life".

My wife said. “are you even listening to me?” She turned around and walked away. I stared at her blankly and thought “that’s an odd way to start a conversation”

Huh?

Did you guys hear they’re gonna start making round hay bales illegal?

Apparently it’s something about the cows needing 3 square meals a day

I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great,

I love being my own boss.

Trump wakes up, goes to the garden and starts picking up random rocks...

He picks a rock, carefuly examines it from from all sides, puts it back and then goes to find another one. After this has been going on for a couple of days, his cabinet starts to get nervous, so Pence calls Putin to see if he can help them.

"Hey Vlad! It's Mike. Listen, we have a little prob...

My girlfriend has the weirdest way to start a conversation with me..

„Were you even listening to me?!“

I Googled "how to start a wildfire".

I got 84,500 matches.

At an ecumenical round-table discussion, various religious leaders tried to answer the question "When does life start?"

"At conception," said the Catholic priest.

"No, no," said the Presbyterian minister. "It begins at birth."

"It’s in between," said the Baptist. "Life begins at 12 weeks when the fetus develops a functional heartbeat."

"I disagree with all of you," said the rabbi. "Life begins wh...

Why do dogs start barking instead of trying to solve the problem?

Because solving problems are ruff.

We need to start a petition to permanently add President Trump to Mount Rushmore.

Not a sculpture of him. Himself.

What starts with "A" and has a higher chance of being inflicted upon you if you get vaccinated?

Adulthood.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

In the middle of a show, Bono starts snapping his fingers. He says: "Every time I do this, an African kid dies"...

A voice from the audience: "Stop snapping, you sick fuck!"

A wife and husband start talking about having kids.

Husband: Do you think your ready to have kids?

Wife: I’m not sure. They can be the greatest thing in a parent’s life.

Husband: But they can be a handful.

Wife: So do you want kids?

Husband: No, not really.

Wife: I mean I think we would be awful parents anyway. <...

The bell rang for school to start and John walked in late

Mr. Clark asked, "John, why are you late?" He replied, "I was on Cherry Hill." Then he sat down. Ten minutes later Nathan walked in late and Mr. Clark repeated, "Why are you late?" Nathan answered, "I was on top of Cherry Hill." Five minutes later Kevin walked in late and Mr. Clark said to him, "Kev...

After 3 years, the wife starts to think...

...that their child looks different, so she decides to do a DNA test.

She finds out that the child is actually from completely different parents.

Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you

Husband: What’s up?

Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not o...

I hope this starts your day with a good giggle...

Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.
As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen f...

A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.

A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la

My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm.

She was very flexible.

I was going to start a bourbon company

but I heard it's whiskey business...

What word starts with M and ends with arriage?

Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, neither does the baby

Four engineers get into a car. the car won't start.

**The mechanical engineer says :**

"its a broken starter"

**The electrical engineer :**

"dead battery"

**The chemical engineer:**

"impurities in the gasoline"

**The IT engineer:**

"Hey guys , i have an idea how about we all get out of the car and get ...

What do you call it when someone starts acting like an angry center divider?

They're in mean median mode.

Stop saying sorry and start thanking, e.g. instead of "sorry I'm late" say "thanks for waiting"

So I said "Thank you for your loss."

At our world famous clinic, many worried, afflicted and mentally unstable people come for assistance. I know it may sound ridiculous, but we start by suggesting they try one of our brain transplant procedures.

They always reject the offer at first, but eventually we change their minds.

What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?

An envelope.

I'll start watching all my videos at 4k(2160p) from tomorrow.

Its my new year's resolution.

Guys, we should start respecting spiders at least a little

I mean they are great at web design

As a couple gets into bed, the husband starts to rub and kiss his wife.

She turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey. I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh."

The husband sadly turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife.

"Do you have a dentist appointment, too?"

What do you call it when a football player gets so many concussions it starts to degrade their cognition?

Touchdowns

Please, please don't start growing marijuana on your cattle farm

The steaks are too high

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did Buddha start pulling coins out of his butt?

Because change comes from within.

We should start calling unvaccinated kids Peter Pans...

They never get old.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So I'm trying to start a new Nazi group...

But it's hard to get people to leave the already established groups, they’re built up, they have community there, then I have it. Weed. We’re going to be the weed Nazis, I get a sponsorship from a local skinhead dispensary, I set up a space, but there’s one problem, I only have 2 water pipes, for t...

Have you heard about the place way up North where birds stop flying North and start flying south?

It's where they make Arctic Terns.

A young couple has a new baby, but after a while the mother starts to think the baby doesn't resemble her or her husband . . .

She decides to get a DNA test done, and sure enough, the results come back that it is not their child.

"Honey, I don't know how to tell you this," she says to her husband. "The baby . . . she's not . . . ours."

"Yeah," says the husband.

"What do you mean, 'yeah'?" she says. "You...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Some nurses notice that when they give a comatose woman a sponge bath, her heart monitor starts beeping more when they wipe between her legs.

Out of ways to bring this woman out of her coma, the nurses decided to ask her husband if he would consider oral sex with his wife to see if that would help bring her out of her coma.

&#x200B;

He was initially hesitant, but they assured him that the curtains would be closed and no ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Dad and son are watching a movie when the sex scene starts...

Dad:-"Son, its time for you to go to bed."

Son:-"But dad, I'm 16. I know everything about sex."

Dad:-"I don't give a crap how old you are. You are not watching me jack off! "

Jeff Bezos has announced that he will start paying a living wage

Or as his lawyer called it,"alimony."

A new guy starts working at the local mental asylum.

After giving him some general indications, the director tells him to ask any question he may have.

-Yes, director, I have one. How do we know if a patient is cured and ready to leave the asylum?

-Well -says the director-, once per year, we gather some of them and ask them a question. I...

A bunch of inmates in prison are lifers, and have been serving together for many years already. They’ve already told each other all the jokes they can remember so often, that they devised a numbering system. Instead of retelling the joke, after a while an inmate would say the joke number instead.

One morning, an inmate was sitting around with a group of guys and just says “26” and everyone starts laughing. A second inmate says “71” and everyone laughs even harder. A third inmate says “37” and no one reacts. He repeats “37” and still no one laughs. Quite frustrated, he says, “I don’t understa...

I’ve started using garlic in my magic act. First I start by crushing it, adding basil and some pine nuts and then I blend them altogether with some Parmesan and olive oil...

Then…hey…pesto!

I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing.

He said, “Knock yourself out!”

I was going to start a camouflage plane company

But I just can’t see it taking off

If you think about it we all start out Canadian

Drinking milk from bags.

I was hoping 2019 would be a year where people stopped getting offended by everything, but boy was I wrong. All I said was "I hope you start off the new year on the right foot"

Damn amputees

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Four guys are out golfing and as the foresome is about to tee off, one of they guys excuses himself to take a piss. As the other three are waiting for him, they start talking.

The first guy says, "my son is doing so well that he just gave his best friend an entire stock portfolio." Being a very impressive gift, the others obviously have to one-up him.
The second guy says, "well, my son is doing so well that he just bought his best friend a brand new Mercedes." Ind...