Breaking: Donald Trump has just won another state.

Denial.

Why do people say "break a leg" before an audition?

It's so that they'll end up in a cast.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist, he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.





Edit: Wow! Thank you for all of the awards, I didn't anticipate that. Some people need to relax though. This is just a freakin' joke, not the agenda of a movement.

Also,...

My boyfriend doesn't know me at all, he keeps giving me birds as gifts, and I don't understand it. Should we break up?

Edit: He actually just gave me five golden rings! Maybe he really does know me (:

Edit2: More birds again

A time keeper at a factory is in charge of blowing the whistle for the lunch break at noon.

When it's almost noon he looks at his watch and right when it strikes 12pm he blows the whistle.

One day he bumps his watch against something and he fears that it is a little off.

Wanting to make sure that he can do his job correctly he decides to go get his watch set by a professional...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's car breaks down in Tibet..

A man's car breaks down in Tibet, and wouldn't you know it? His phone gets no service. So he walks up a long windy road to a huge monastery at the top of the hill. He knocks at the reinforced double doors and a Tibetan monk after some minutes finally opens.

"My car broke down. Do you...

What happens to a rainbow when it breaks the law?

It goes through the prism system

How do you break up a fight between 2 blind men?

Yell out: 'My money is on the one with a knife...'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Breaking News: Elon Musk & Bill Gates have joined hands

to make a Penis Enhancer.....They will call it
ELONGATES

Two Chinese guys break into a distillery.

One turns and says to the other,

"Is this Whiskey?"

The other one says "Yes, but not

as Whiskey as wobbing a bank,!!

Break up

My boyfriend just broke up with me, he was sick and tired of my constant zodiac puns.

It Taurus apart.

I'm in Pisces typing this

A blonde is traveling with her friend down an old back road when she slams on her breaks to miss a rabbit.

They both get out of the car to see a dead rabbit laying in the middle of the road.

The friend turns to the blonde and says “omg, you just killed that poor rabbit, what are we going to do?”

The blonde returns to her car to retrieve a spray can, then back to her friend, that’s frantic...

Two men from Texas were in Canada for winter break.

At their cabin they met two canadians. The day after they decided they had to get food, so naturaly they decided to go ice fishing. To make it a bit more fun, the two guys from Texas decided to show the canadians how great America was, by beating them in an ice fishing competition. The canadians acc...

What was the most ground-breaking invention in human history?

The shovel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the ...

A boy asks his Uncle: "Oh Uncle! How did you break your legs?!"

The Uncle replies: *You see those stairs going downwards?*

Boy: *Yeah*

Uncle: *I didn't*

Breaking: English to be made the official language of the EU!

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-E...

They say drinking one beer a day can prevent you from having a psychotic break, which is great...

...I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.

A duck is standing next to a busy road, cars are zooming by, while he waits for a break in traffic. Then a Chicken walks by and says " don't do it.. "

" .. you'll never hear the end of it "

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS: A man was presented into the ER after shoving 6 plastic horses up his ass...

Doctors say that his condition is stable.

A tree says to another tree, her boyfriend, "I think we should break up"

The other tree: "why wood you do this"

Don't break anybody's heart; they only have 1.

Break their bones; they have 206.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the vagina break up with the penis?

It was being a dick.

LPT: After a bad break up, do 10 things that your ex would never do with you. You'll feel better and realize how much of yourself was being held back.

She would never do a threesome with me. Is it possible now

Breaking news: Germany is advising people to stock up on sausages and cheese.

This is starting to look like the Wurst Käse scenario.

My imaginary girlfriend wants to break up with me.

She told me she wanted me to start seeing other people.

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there's a long break in the ledge they can't cross.

"Something for this, I have." Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape. He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda's hovel, t...

Keith Flint failed his English at School. It was a really tough break because his final essay was excellent

He just ran out of space

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penguins car breaks down

Okay so this penguins car breaks down in an area hes unfamiliar with


Penguin gets his car towed to the nearest shop. He asks the mechanic how long it should take. The mechanic says probably a few hours. The penguin asks if there's anything around he can do while he waits


Now, t...

My girlfriend messaged me to say she’s breaking up with me because I’m too childish. So I marched over to her house, rang her door bell and ran away

That’ll teach her

I was on my lunch break at the job site, and we were all complaining about how our boss still owed us for the last job. I overheard one of the old carpenters on his cell phone....

"$1000? Sure honey, if you like it so much, then buy the coat"

I thought, "how can this old guy afford a $1000 coat for his wife? We aren't even getting paid."

He continued, "The new BMW? Well, if you must have it, darling, make sure you get it fully loaded. $125,000? That's fine."...

There's only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in half....

I just don't want 2 of you around.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had to break up with my girlfriend because she didn't like my German shepherd

I don't like that Hans gets sheep shit all over the house as well but I think she overreacted

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to crash.

As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his ass. Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the hell are you doing, we...

My boyfriend was breaking up with me and started to walk out the door

So I jammed my knee into his stomach.

“You can’t leave, I kneed you”

It's a bit unsympathetic to tell actors to "break a leg"?

I mean... they're already in a cast.

Name a ground breaking invention

A shovel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Breaking News.

News reporters are shitting bricks.

A new covid variant.


"Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch."

Has been identified in Wales.

(For those that are confused, the above is a real place in Wales.)

(And News reporters would have to pronounce it...

I told my actor friend to break a leg...

.....but, I'm not worried, he'll have a supporting cast.

A Chemist, an Engineer, an Electrician and an IT guy get stranded on the side of the road after their car break down...

It’s the dead of winter and the wind chill is below freezing. One of them gets off the phone with the towing company, “they said it’s going to be at least two hours.” They all stay in the car.


After a few minutes the Chemist tells the other three, “I’m pretty sure I know what happened......

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. “Jesus is watching you.”

The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. “Jesus is watching you.” Quite confused, the thief searches the house and ...

Aaron Rodgers breaks silence on why he broke up with Danica Patrick

"I felt like I was being rushed."

Did you hear about the guy breaking into peoples houses and drinking all their coffee?

I don't know how he sleeps at night!!

Police in Belfast have now been given permission to shoot people who break the curfew.

Paddy and Mick, have been put at the top of Belfast City Hall and are ordered to shoot anyone after the 8pm curfew.

The first night they are looking out at 7.45pm and Mick takes his gun and shoots a man.

"What are you doing Mick" said Paddy, "It's only a quarter to eight!"

"That...

A man is driving through southern Alabama late at night when his car breaks down

“Just my luck,” he thinks as he decides to start walking. Fortunately, after a quarter mile or so he finds an open, albeit shabby motel. He checks in with the extremely backwoods desk clerk and sees that the place won’t win any Michelin awards, but he just needs a place to lay his head until the mo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS Thieves have allegedly broken into the laboratory at Pfizer to try and steal the new Covid-19 vaccine...

They apparently took a case of viagra instead. The police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.

Some protestors are breaking into congress

I hear it is a capitol offense

BREAKING NEWS: A grandfather had gone missing after eating four cans of baked beans, eight Brussels sprouts and a jar of gherkins.

His family have made an emotional appeal for him not to come home for at least a month.

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away.

SpaceX have developed a new type of rocket that can fly to the moon in record-breaking time.

It's a regular rocket, with "GME" written on it.

BREAKING NEWS: Missing Child Spotted With Pied Piper Of Hamelin

More to follow

Did you hear about the upcoming chef from Denmark who’s trying to break into comedy?

He’s calling himself the new Dane Cook.

It’s ok to laugh when someone falls and breaks a bone

It’s usually pretty humerus

Three guys are driving through the desert in an old Jeep when it breaks down 50 miles from the nearest watering hole.

Guy 1 claims “it’s only 50 miles to water, grab what we need to protect us from the heat and let’s walk” he gathers up a water container and car seat blanket and sets off.

Guy 2 thinks for a while and then decides to follow, so he grabs an old umbrella from the trunk and follows guy 1, please...

Lately, whenever I read a comic strip about Charlie Brown or Snoopy I break out in hives.

I think I’m allergic to Peanuts.

If Elon Musk's space company establishes a Mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your....

Space x.

Break a leg everyone!

I was going to say 'Happy New Year', but I tried that last time, and it it didn't go very well

A burglar breaks into a joint

While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"

Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:

"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly ...

Breaking News: Supreme court has ruled that basic intelligence tests for Election voting is Discriminatory.

The judge said that it is unfair to block all Republicans from voting.

Breaking news: Conspiracy against trump confirmed.

In a recent study of ballots it has become apparent that there was in fact a Conspiracy during the election.

Turns out it was way worse than the Republicans first thought though, it is now believed that a massive conspiracy involving some 81 million American adults conspired together against ...

A fortune teller told me I'd suffer awful heart break in 12 years.

To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.

How do you break up two blind guys fighting?

Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"

I stopped by my favorite noodle place on my lunch break, but the line to get in was out the door.

There was no way I’d be able to order and get back to work on time, it was a real pho queue.

How do drummers ask if they can take a break?

It’s quite simple

“Hey, you guys think we can work on stairway to heaven for a bit?”

BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the local cheese factory!

Da Brie is everywhere.

A Penguin Farmer Breaks Down

A penguin farmer breaks down on his way to take his penguins to the zoo. A man stops and asks if the farmer needs help. “Yes” he exclaims and offers the man some money to take his penguins to the zoo. The man agrees, hitches the trailer up to his truck, and takes the penguins into town. After about ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger is a hard worker and he spends most of his nights bowling or playing volleyball. One weekend his wife decides that he needs to relax a little and take a break from sports, so she takes him to a strip club.

The doorman at the club spots them and says, “Hey, Roger! How are you tonight?”
His wife, surprised, asks her husband if he has been here before.
“No, no. He’s just one of the guys I bowl with.”


They are seated and the waitress approaches, sees Roger and says, “Nice to see you, R...

What do folks in Kentucky do when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

At the last supper, Jesus breaks the bread and says "this is my body", pours the wine and says "this is my blood"...

...and then opens a jar of mayo and Judas says "Okay buddy I'm gonna stop you right there."

Three inmates at the insane asylum gather around the lunch table to plot how they can break out and regain their freedom.

Rudy, the longest standing resident explains they should all meet along the Southern wall at precisely midnight, whereupon he will use his recently illegally acquired hospital issue flashlight to vault them over the wall. Then it’s a short walk across the border into Mexico.

Upon hearing the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING NEWS: A shipment of Viagra has just been stolen

The police are still on the lookout for the hardened criminals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three girls, a blonde, a readhead and a brunette, are having lunch break together...

The brunette opens her lunchbox and sighs:"My husband is so kind, he prepares my lunch every day but... Again a tuna sandwich?"

The readhead opens hers and sighs too:"Crap, tuna sandwich for me too... Again!"

The blonde opens hers and goes:"Guess what? I got the same t...

Rockstar Just Annouced A GTA Spinoff About Breaking And Entering

Its called GTFO

How did the blonde break her leg while raking leaves?

She fell out of a tree.

Breaking News: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and North Korea to send a joint expeditionary force...

...to Washington D.C. in order to bring peace, democracy and the rule of law to the troubled nation of United States of America.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Breaking news: Melania Trump’s naked pics are now online

Fake nudes

Breaking News

Local police are seeking a shoplifter who attacked a store this lunch time but was tackled by a have-a-go shopkeep with his labelling gun.

Officers say they're seeking a man with a price on his head.

- RIP Ronnie Corbett.

My girlfriend wants to break up with me because she says I play video games too much

What a ridiculous reason to Fallout 4

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was dating an Optometrist, but finally needed to break up with her

She was sexy and had a great personality, but after a while she was just too annoying in bed.

She was always saying, "So, do you like it better like this?... or like this?"

Old habits are hard to break.

A woman gynecologist decides she wants to become a mechanic. She enrolls in a technical college and becomes an A student.

Before she can graduate she must pass the final exam, which is dismantling a car engine & rebuilding correctly. When she receives the results of her exam she sees the ...

I had to break up with a cross eyed girl a while back.

She was seeing people on the side.

What’s the best first name for a news anchor that breaks a lot of big stories?

This: Justin.

A burglar breaks in a house

As he is looking around he hears a voice "Jesus is watching you!" Panicked he looks around but sees nothing and nobody. He keeps searching for loot when again "Jesus is watching you!" This time he does a better search and finally sees a parrot in a cage. "Did you say that?" he asks "Yes, it was me."...

A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car suddenly breaks-down. They set out to find help, and come to a farmhouse. When they knock on the door, the farmer explains that he has only two beds, and one of the three has to sleep in the barn with the animals.

The three quickly agree. The Rabbi says he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi leaves, there's a knock on the bedroom door. It's the Rabbi, exclaiming, "I can’t sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the s...

A truck driver was transporting 100 penguins from Melbourne to Perth when he breaks down in the middle of the desert...

A mechanic takes a look and tells the truckie that the repair will take at least two days. He knows that the penguins won't survive in the heat for that long so he flags down a passing truck and offers the driver $5000 to take the penguins to the Perth zoo for him.
A few days later the repairs ar...

You break me, you get bad luck..

Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!

Mirror: Are you kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!


Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandad told this one to his friend and I kinda overheard it and knew where it should belong

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into ...

BREAKING NEWS: The president was found in his office after trying to commit suicide, his statement:

"Fake noose."

Breaking News: Energizer Bunny Arrested

Charged with battery

Breaking News: Putin orders full investigation and promises severe punishment for whoever poisoned opposition politician Navalny...

insufficiently.

A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down.

AAA (Antarctic Automobile Assn) tows it to the garage in the nearest town, where the mechanic says he has time to look at it, give him half an hour.

The penguin wanders down the street to an ice cream shop and decides to beat the heat with a cone of his favorite flavor, vanilla. Of course, b...

Why did Mrs.Claus break up with Santa?

Because he kept calling her a hoe hoe hoe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy visits his favourite Dominatrix

He puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.”

She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.

She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he...

Silent H

One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????
My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent "....... (I was even more confused .....?????)
During the lunch break, my ...

A smart drunk

“I was in the mood for a drink so I biked to the local liquor store to buy a bottle of whiskey. At first I was planning to bike home with the bottle in my bike basket but I’m not an idiot and knew it would break if I crashed so I drank it in the parking lot. Thank god I did because I crashed 12 time...

A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn't open until morning so they have to spend the night in a hotel. It only has one room available.

The priest says: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room. I'll sleep on the sofa and you have the bed." "I think that would be fine," agrees the nun. They prepare for bed, say some prayers and settle down to sleep.

Ten minutes pass, and the nun...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three young college kids on break for summer vacation decided to explore the far ends of the world and see what unique stories and legends they could experience.

Upon their journey, they find a small town filled with families and friends who have lived there for generations on end. The three talk it over and decide it would be fun to stay the night and go chat with the locals to see what transpires.

After checking into the lodge they proceed to unpac...

Why did the space rock break up?

It couldn’t comet.

Mario is breaking up with Princess Peach

Peach: Is it me? Is it my fault?


Mario: No, it's-a not-a you, it's-a me, Mario!

How do you keep an egg from breaking when throwing it at a wall?

Leave it inside the chicken.

Breaking News: Local Kindergarten reports major Peek-a-Boo accident.

All involved were rushed to the ICU

BREAKING: North Korea announces breakthrough 100% effective COVID-19 treatment

Sources report the new treatment involves injecting a bullet into the forehead of people infected with the virus.

Titanic.

Sorry, that was a terrible icebreaker.

Breaking News

This just in, world renowned artist Paul Jacobson has been disqualified from this year's Animal Photography Championship due to use of performance enhancing drugs.

This determined after the discovery of polaroids smuggled within his travel bag.

Two executioners are talking during their break.

One asks the other if they're doing anything after work.

"Nope, what's up?"

"Wanna hang?"

Why did d/dx break up with e^x?

She finally realized that she could never change him. #mathcanbefunny

When 2020 finally breaks us down,

2020 won

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BREAKING: A new drug is being trialled to increase semen output.

More to come.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When my girlfriend and I break up and she screws 10 guys, she's an "empowered woman"

But when I do it I'm "gay".

Guys I really want to break up with my Jazz musician girlfriend but I can't

The Sax is too good

If your microphone breaks during a talk....

Is it a speech impediment?

Two men break out of a mental institution.

Two men steal flashlights and break out of a mental institution. They find themselves on the roof of the building with orderlies closing in. The men look and see there is an adjacent roof they might be able to jump onto. The first man runs and leaps over the gap, landing on the roof of the next buil...

Trump dies and goes to hell..

... where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go,...

A priest is driving home

When suddenly his car breaks down, and he must go ask the local farmer for a horse. The farmer obliges, but says that this is a HOLY horse, so you had to say "Praise the Lord" to make it go, and "Amen" to make it stop.

The priest says okay. So he starts off. About a mile down the road, the ho...

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle vodka, put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...

...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...

A gynecologist goes in to see a new patient.

Upon entering, he notices that the new patient is nervous. While putting on the latex gloves, he decides to break the ice with some small talk.

"Do you know how they make latex gloves?", he asks.

"No", she responds.

The doctor says, "There is a plant in Mexico full of latex tha...

Breaking News

Vinn Diesel is now married to the voice actor who voiced Ariel in Disney’s The Little Mermaid. They wanted a big, luxurious wedding but with everything going on they opted for a small, private ceremony. Not because of Corona Virus; but because they didn’t want anyone catching a Vinn-Ariel disease.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are on a rooftop with a wizard. The wizard says that if they jump, the first word they say will break their fall.

The first man jumps and says "Pillows!" and he lands in a pile of pillows. The second man jumps and says "Hay!" and he lands in a pile of hay. The third man then tries to jump, but trips off the edge and says "Shit!"

A break in the routine

A famous clown was performing his routine on stage. After a particularly funny gag, an audience member in the front row clutched his chest and crumbled out of his seat to the floor.

The clown immediately broke off his routine. He leapt off the stage to attend to the man. “I think I’m having ...

An English athlete, a French athlete and a Russian athlete are all on the medal podium at the 1976 Summer Olympics chatting before the medal ceremony.

“Don't get me wrong" says the Englishman, "winning a medal is very nice, but I still feel the greatest pleasure in life is getting home after a long day, putting one's feet up and having a nice cup of tea".

"You Englishman" snorts the Frenchman, "you have no sense of romance. The greatest ple...

Why did the ghost's girlfriend break up with him?

She found out about his side boos!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

in hell

A man goes to hell. They tell him:

-- You have not sinned too much, so we allow you to choose torture yourself.

He goes into the first room and there people are fried in a frying pan. It doesn't suit him and he leaves.
In the second room needles are inserted under the nails.
“It ...

Why did the sad geologist skip his lunch break?

Because he lost his apatite.

The first time Chewbacca tried to fly a ship, he pulled gear lever instead of break lever.

A Wookie mistake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman threatens to break up with her boyfriend if he can't make sex last longer, so the boyfriend decides to see his doctor to find out how he can make sex last longer.

"Try masturbating before sex," says the doctor.

The guy drives home trying to think about where to masturbate. "I can't masturbate out in the open, and I can't do it at home because my girlfriend might catch me."

Finally, the guy comes to a decision. He pulls over his car, crawls under...

I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't matter if Epstein committed suicide. If those cases had ever gone to court -

- it would have been a hung jury.

Why will the President stop breaking the law next week?

...

Because he’ll be a-Biden

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fucking Chuck Norris joke I made when I was 7

What happens when Chuck Norris kicks the bucket?

He breaks a couple floors

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in a desert when their car breaks down.

Thinking quickly, the brunette decides they should all start trying to scavenge and collect supplies for the long walk to the nearest gas station.

The other two girls agree, so they begin their hunt.

The brunette grabs her knife from the car and cuts a few cacti open, hoping to col...

I used to really want to know how to break into bank safes

It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be

Two men are hiking when suddenly their tent breaks

Two men, Paul and John, are hiking when suddenly their tent breaks. Unable to set it up for the incoming night until they can find a replacement, they decide they'll need to stay round someone's house who's willing to let the men in.

Paul and John go around knocking at houses and getting reje...

Lada breaks down on the autobahn...

... Driver gets out only to see someone pull up in a Porsche Cayenne. Cayenne driver asks him does he need a tow. Lada driver replies with a "Yes. I will turn my right blinker on to tell you that you are going too fast." After a few hundred meters, a person in a Lamborghini Urus speeds by.

Po...

[NSFW] What bad habit in the bedroom forced the guy to break up with his girlfriend?

She'd take a lickin but kept on kickin

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