The 89+ Best Pancake Jokes

A pancake, a piece of toast, and a piece of bacon walk into a bar

They sit down and ask the bartender for a round of beers. The bartender looks at them and says "Get the hell out of my bar, we don't serve breakfast here."

I’m making a coat out of pancakes.

I call it my flapjacket.

Wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?

Me: They're for the dogs.

Wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Me: They don't know how.

My dad always called me "Pancake"

He said it was "Because the first one is always a mistake."

How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning?

With a pan...duh

Having children is a lot like making pancakes

The first one is always a bit weird, but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.

Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter?

It was an egg shell lent idea

My wife makes my pancakes too thin.

Tomorrow morning I am telling her I am sick of her crepe.

Shrove Tuesday. Pancake day.

Really crepe’d up on us this year, huh?

How would you describe a bad joke about pancakes?

Wawful.

Does the International House of Pancakes answer to the United Nations or is it the other way around?

Serious answers only. I'm studying for my AP World History final.

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar.

2 eggs, a sausage link, a piece of toast and 3 pancakes walk into a bar. They walk up to the counter and order some drinks. The bartender says,

Sorry, we dont serve breakfast

What did aunt jemima say when she ran out of pancakes?

Oh how waffle!

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What's the difference between Tony Blair & a chef who keeps dropping his pancakes?

Nothing, they're both useless tossers...

Why was the pancake arrested?

Unwaffle activities

pancakes

Psychiatrist: What brought you here?
Patient: My wife sent me here because I like pancakes.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that, I like pancakes, too.
Patient: Excellent! Come to my place, I have seven suitcases full of them!

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Pancakes!

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed h...

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a pancake?

I only have to flip the prostitute over once before sprinkling it with cream.

What did the pancake say to the French cook?

you're creping me out

Why do Jedi's always burn their pancakes?

They refuse to turn to the darkside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris lost his virginity to the Statue of Liberty.

Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man is Chuck Norris’s baby picture.

Waffles didn’t exist until Chuck Norris punched a pancake.

I hate french pancakes

..they give me the crepes

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A pizza walks by two pancakes

Pancake: " Look at that bitch with all that make-up!"

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My Kids Got Pissed at Me for Cooking Pancakes this Morning

Seems he was their favorite rabbit

You know why the pancake king lost his kingdom?

Cuz he was usyruped.

How do you get up on a horse made of pancakes?

Using the syrups.

"I'm sorry sir, but we've determined you have a highly contagious, deadly virus. You'll need to be kept in quarantine and fed a diet of pancakes."

"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"

"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."

I dreamed last last night that I was making pancakes whilst driving along a twisty road

I tossed and turned all night

Totally failed to make a Mickey Mouse pancake…

I could only get the two ears done. I think this one is a bust !

A six-year-old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."

When she concluded, her mother asked her why she thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.

She smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

The new blonde waitress at the truck stop

A nasty and mean looking trucker came into a Truck Stop Cafe' and placed his order. He said I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards.'

The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, 'This guy out ther...

Papa Mole, Mama Mole, and Baby Mole

There was a papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole tunneling through the ground one right after the other. They were digging and digging and digging when all of a sudden, Bam! The papa mole ran into a wall.

The papa mole was a bit shaken up. He stuck his head out and saw it was Waffle House...

Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?

Waiter: No sir, round.

A family of moles on an early breakfast morning.

The big ol papa mole raises his head up out of the hole and smells the air then says "i smell pancakes!"

Then the big ol mama mole sticks her head up out of the hole, smells the air, and says "i smell pancakes!"

Then itty bitty lil ol baby mole wiggles up between big ol papa mole and b...

Dogs are forever in the push up postion.

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

RIP to one of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg. The king of one liners

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Three moles are crawling through their borrow on their way to breakfast, one right after the other.

The first mole says, “I can already smell that sizzling bacon.”

The second mole says, “I’m pretty sure I can smell hot pancakes with fresh butter and syrup.”

The last mole says, “the only thing I can smell is molasses.”

Be first

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."

Kevin turned t...

Did you hear about the angry pancake?

He just flipped.

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Pancakes

A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she’s worried about her 5 year old son’s small penis. He said her problem is solved. “You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime”.

The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast a...

What do you want for breakfast?

There were two elderly people who were trying to decide what to have for breakfast. Keep this in mind: because of their age, neither of them have the greatest memory anymore.

The husband asks the wife, "what do you want for breakfast?"

The wife responds, "Oh... just a bowl of oatmeal w...

How did the pancake become the king?

He u-syruped the throne.

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Having children is like making pancakes.

The first one is always fucked up, but you make all the other ones better and didn't drop none on the floor this time.

So a family of moles wakes up one morning to the smell of pancakes...

The father mole heads up to check things out. From the entrance to their den, the smell is a lot stronger, but being naturally skittish, he stays in the doorway. "This smells great!" he said. "It smells like pancakes and warm syrup!"

Her curiosity piqued, the mother mole joins the father in ...

Why did the pancake get arrested?

It had committed multiple unwaffle actions.

How does Liam Neeson make such good pancakes?

He has a very particular set of skillets.

You know what they say about family - blood is thicker than water.

But maple syrup is thicker than blood, so technically pancakes are more important than family.

Coronavirus patients start pizza and pancake diet

"It's all we can slide under the door!" Says doctor.

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Three Jewish pigs walk into a diner

And they get seated at a booth. They're each peering through their menus when the waiter comes up to the table and says, "what'll it be fellas?"

The first pig says, "I'll have the blueberry pancakes. Extra butter".

The second pig says, "I'll have the fish and chips. Hold the tartar s...

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

How do cannibals eat pancakes?

They wait by tall buildings.

Not sure what to do with the leftover pancake mix...

Should I throw it away or do you have a batter idea?

I gave my girlfriend the last of my pancake today

She leaned over in a whisper and said,
"Pancucked"

I honestly didn't expect it and I almost died.

A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill.

He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. He's negative for COVID, Ebola, Malaria, and pretty much all the recognizable infectious diseases.

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone...

The wife asked me to go out and get something for the pancakes.

She wasn't impressed when I came back with a bra.

How many potatoes does it take to make a potato pancake?

A latke!

(I removed a typo from my first submission and reposted this joke, sorry if you saw it twice.)

Where do all the naughty pancakes go?

Flipping Hell!

Just opened a Sandwich & Pancakes restaurant!

I named it “Not all Heroes, We’re Crepes”

A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice.

"My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks:

"Do you like potato pancakes?" "No," comes the answer, and the silence retu...

I can't believe its pancake day again already..

It's really créped up on me!

I snuck downstairs to make pancakes at midnight last night

It took a couple hours and I didn’t want to wake anyone going back up.

I stuck some pancakes to my feet and crepèd back up the stairs.

Foreplay is like pancakes...

three minutes on each side.

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Heard it?

A horse, Dave and his boss, the Pope, a cab driver, a drunk and his wife, a ventriloquist and a Welshman, two kids and their mother, three captives, a teacher and little Johnny, and a preacher and little Sally walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

Th...

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Pancakes

A couple was raising a young boy. The two parents were concerned about their child, as he had an abnormally small penis for his age. So they consult a doctor, and after a close examination, the doctor tells the parents, "Just feed him plenty of pancakes. Eventually he'll reach a good size."

T...

The Good Date Potato Pancake Joke

Was recently told this joke by my professor.

A boy is going on a date. Nervous, he asks the father for tips. The father runs the basics down and stresses one thing. "Now son, there are only three things you can talk about : Food, Family and Philosophy".

The boy has no reason to doubt h...

What do pancakes do when they are scared?

They crepe themselves ;D

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Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.

So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

A man in a hurry goes to a diner and ordered a pancake

He asked, “Will it be long?”

The cook replied, “No, it’ll be round.”

Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where an old-timer is having breakfast.

One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.

Without a word of protest, the old guy pays his bill and leaves.

“Not much of a man, was he?” s...

I was going to make pancakes, then I wasn't…

Then I was.

Then I wasn't.

Then I was.

Now, it looks like I'm just waffling…

Me: I'll have a stack of 24 pancakes, please

Waitress: That's a tall order!

My successful pancake business was recently shut down

Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot

If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?

Seven because ice cream has no bones

What does the pope put on his pancakes?

Papal syrup.

A man walked into a psychiatrist's office with a pancake on his head...

... a fried egg on each shoulder, and a piece of bacon over each ear.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the psychiatrist.
The man said: "I'm worried about my brother."

Babies are like pancakes

You have every right to throw the first one away

You're driving down the highway on a jet ski, when a wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?

Purple, cuz Ice Cream has no bones....

Has anyone heard a version of this before?

I tried making pancakes...

But I ended up with flapjacks instead. I guess I used too much synonym

Why didn't the waffle go to the pancake party?

He was a square.

When I went to the park today, I saw an old man sitting on a park bench crying.

I asked him what was wrong.

He replied, "I have a beautiful 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning, and then gets up and makes me pancakes, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I asked, "Well then, why are you crying?"

He says, "She makes my favourite lunch...

What do you call someone who can't turn pancakes?

A flip-flop.

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church bulletin bloopers

*These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:*
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for ...

Two pancakes were talking. One said to the other, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "hello."

The other said "ugh, get away from me, you crepe."

Did you hear about the guy who didn't like people watching him eat pancakes?

He always ate them syruptitiously.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For my birthday, my brother made me pancakes!

I told him to stop flattening my fucking birthday cake.

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight?

Thank you, I'm flattened!

I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.

breakfast

I was making pancakes this morning. The wife sneaked up behind and startled me.

"Oh honey you scared the crepe out of me!"

I really feel like having some pancakes...

maybe I don't...I just can't stop waffling.

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