I’m making a coat out of pancakes.

I call it my flapjacket.

Having children is a lot like making pancakes

The first one is always a bit weird, but you can always just eat it when no one is looking.

Why do jedi always burn their pancakes?

Because they wont turn over to the dark side.

How does a panda make his pancakes in the morning?

With a pan...duh

A pancake, a piece of toast, and a piece of bacon walk into a bar

They sit down and ask the bartender for a round of beers. The bartender looks at them and says "Get the hell out of my bar, we don't serve breakfast here."

Wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes?

Me: They're for the dogs.

Wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Me: They don't know how.

pancakes

Psychiatrist: What brought you here?
Patient: My wife sent me here because I like pancakes.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that, I like pancakes, too.
Patient: Excellent! Come to my place, I have seven suitcases full of them!

My dad always called me "Pancake"

He said it was "Because the first one is always a mistake."

Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter?

It was an egg shell lent idea

How do you get up on a horse made of pancakes?

Using the syrups.

My wife makes my pancakes too thin.

Tomorrow morning I am telling her I am sick of her crepe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Tony Blair & a chef who keeps dropping his pancakes?

Nothing, they're both useless tossers...

What did aunt jemima say when she ran out of pancakes?

Oh how waffle!

Why was the pancake arrested?

Unwaffle activities

What did the pancake say to the French cook?

you're creping me out

I dreamed last last night that I was making pancakes whilst driving along a twisty road

I tossed and turned all night

A six-year-old said grace at family dinner one evening. "Dear God, thank You for the pancakes."

When she concluded, her mother asked her why she thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken-pot-pie.

She smiled and said, "I thought I would check to see if He was paying attention."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pizza walks by two pancakes

Pancake: " Look at that bitch with all that make-up!"

"I'm sorry sir, but we've determined you have a highly contagious, deadly virus. You'll need to be kept in quarantine and fed a diet of pancakes."

"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"

"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pancakes!

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed h...

Totally failed to make a Mickey Mouse pancake…

I could only get the two ears done. I think this one is a bust !

Customer: Waiter, I’m in a hurry! Will the pancakes be long?

Waiter: No sir, round.

What do you want for breakfast?

There were two elderly people who were trying to decide what to have for breakfast. Keep this in mind: because of their age, neither of them have the greatest memory anymore.

The husband asks the wife, "what do you want for breafast?"

The wife responds, "Oh... just a bowl of oatmeal wo...

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry. Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes...

"Oh." said the counselor. "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Kids Got Pissed at Me for Cooking Pancakes this Morning

Seems he was their favorite rabbit

What do bus drivers put on their morning pancakes?

Traffic jam

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandfather’s favorite joke

An old fisherman makes camp up in the wild north country near a blue-green lake, and in the morning he starts to make breakfast. As he’s cooking, a little family of moles living in a mole-hill nearby begin to smell what the old fisherman’s cooking. The mother mole says “Hey! Old Fisherman’s cooking,...

You know why the pancake king lost his kingdom?

Cuz he was usyruped.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pancakes

A housewife visits a doctor. She told him that she’s worried about her 5 year old son’s small penis. He said her problem is solved. “You just have to prepare every morning some pancakes for breakfast. It will help grow its size overtime”.

The next day, she did gladly prepared the breakfast a...

How does Liam Neeson make such good pancakes?

He has a very particular set of skillets.

Library of Congress bomber…

Yesterday’s attempted bomber said there are 4 more bombs planted in DC. After botching bombing Congress by showing up at the Library of Congress, the FBI has ordered the immediate evacuation of :

-the Richmond Mall’s Supreme Food Court

-The Hexagon Building on Connecticut Ave

-...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mailman is making his route. On his last day before retirement, he gets to one of the last houses when the lady of the house answers the door in a slinky negligee and says, "Today is your last day, isn’t it? Come with me; I have a surprise for you."

She takes him by the hand and leads him into the house where he finds a complete breakfast feast laid out for him—eggs, pancakes, bacon, the works. The mailman stuffs himself, pushes back from the table, and says, "Thank you ma’am, this was wonderful, but I really should finish my route."

She...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having children is like making pancakes.

The first one is always fucked up, but you make all the other ones better and didn't drop none on the floor this time.

First Pancake

A young mother was preparing breakfast for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. They both said they wanted pancakes. As the pancakes were almost finished and the syrup was being heated in the microwave, the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.

Their mother, who was also a Sund...

News: Doctors recommend Pizza and pancake diet for Covid-19 patients

And all other foods that can fit under the door.

Why did the pancake get arrested?

It had committed multiple unwaffle actions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just a slip of the tongue

A guy boards the flight and looks over at his row mate to see they have something in common and strikes up a conversation-

Guy 1 - Wow, what a coincidence. We both have a black eye!

Guy 2 - Yeah, it was really just a slip of the tongue. I was at the ticket counter and the woman behind ...

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irish man are chatting in a bar. The Englishman says "We named my son George because he was born on St. George's Day".

The Scotsman says "Wow, what a coincidence! My son is called Andrew because he was born on St. Andrew's Day"

The Irishman says "I can't believe it! Wait till I tell you about our Pancake"

Where do all the naughty pancakes go?

Flipping Hell!

If 2020 was a math word problem:

**If you're going down a river at 2 MPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?**

Just opened a Sandwich & Pancakes restaurant!

I named it “Not all Heroes, We’re Crepes”

A group of moles are hibernating for the winter in a burrow by a small farm on the countryside

One morning, one of the moles pops his head out of the hole.

“I smell maple syrup in the air!” Says the mole, “every start of spring the farmer’s wife cooks pancakes. It’s time for us to leave!”

The mole leaves the burrow. And a second mole sticks his head out.

“He’s onto someth...

Did you hear about the angry pancake?

He just flipped.

So a family of moles wakes up one morning to the smell of pancakes...

The father mole heads up to check things out. From the entrance to their den, the smell is a lot stronger, but being naturally skittish, he stays in the doorway. "This smells great!" he said. "It smells like pancakes and warm syrup!"

Her curiosity piqued, the mother mole joins the father in ...

Not sure what to do with the leftover pancake mix...

Should I throw it away or do you have a batter idea?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caught my roommate masturbating himself with a thin pancake.

What a crepe.

Foreplay is like pancakes...

three minutes on each side.

A New Yorker Was Teaching A Midwesterner How To Ski

A Midwesterner is on vacation in the Poconos. Over there, he decides to take up downhill skiing. He's done a lot of cross country skiing, but he's never skied downhill, since there are no mountains over in Fargo. Fargo's flatter than a pancake.

He decided to try downhill skiing. "How hahr...

How did the pancake become the king?

He u-syruped the throne.

An old man is eating some breakfast at a diner when three bikers walk in.

The first biker puts out his cigarette in the old man's pancakes.

The second biker spits out his tobacco in the old man's coffee.

The third biker takes the entire meal and shoves it off the table.

The old man, without saying so much as a word, gets up, pays the waitress, and exi...

How do cannibals eat pancakes?

They wait by tall buildings.

I snuck downstairs to make pancakes at midnight last night

It took a couple hours and I didn’t want to wake anyone going back up.

I stuck some pancakes to my feet and crepèd back up the stairs.

Why did the Xbox One eat its cereal for breakfast, but not its pancakes?

It had the spoon, but not the 4k.

A man in a hurry goes to a diner and ordered a pancake

He asked, “Will it be long?”

The cook replied, “No, it’ll be round.”

The wife asked me to go out and get something for the pancakes.

She wasn't impressed when I came back with a bra.

I gave my girlfriend the last of my pancake today

She leaned over in a whisper and said,
"Pancucked"

I honestly didn't expect it and I almost died.

I can't believe its pancake day again already..

It's really créped up on me!

I'm scared of french pancakes

They give me the crepes

How many potatoes does it take to make a potato pancake?

A latke!

(I removed a typo from my first submission and reposted this joke, sorry if you saw it twice.)

Me: I'll have a stack of 24 pancakes, please

Waitress: That's a tall order!

A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. "My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy's nervousness builds, but he then asks:

"Do you like potato pancakes?" "No," comes the answer, and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket. "Do you have a brother?" "No." After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card: "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"

A man walks into a greasy spoon for breakfast....

Waiter says “what will it be, mac? “
The customer says “ I gotta catch a train - so I’ll just have a short stack of pancakes , also coffee ... and waiter - will they be long?”
The waiter says “No buddy, they’ll be round...”

Three moles live in a hole together.

One day a pancake breakfast is set up around the mole hole. One of the three moles sticks his head out of the hole and says, "I smell syrup!"

The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says, "I smell ketchup!"

The third mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but cannot ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pancakes

A couple was raising a young boy. The two parents were concerned about their child, as he had an abnormally small penis for his age. So they consult a doctor, and after a close examination, the doctor tells the parents, "Just feed him plenty of pancakes. Eventually he'll reach a good size."

T...

What does the pope put on his pancakes?

Papal syrup.

What do pancakes do when they are scared?

They crepe themselves ;D

If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house?

Seven because ice cream has no bones

Why was the pancake a bad comedian?

Because his jokes fell flat

I was going to make pancakes, then I wasn't…

Then I was.

Then I wasn't.

Then I was.

Now, it looks like I'm just waffling…

It's Pancake Tuesday already...

Really creped up on me.

I tried making pancakes...

But I ended up with flapjacks instead. I guess I used too much synonym

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buttermilk pancakes and an orange Popsicle

There once was a man who loved trains more than anything else in the world. Ever since he was a boy, he would play with his toy trains and dream of driving trains for a real train company.



So, when he turned 18, he packed his bags and waved goodbye to his family. He headed out the doo...

The Good Date Potato Pancake Joke

Was recently told this joke by my professor.

A boy is going on a date. Nervous, he asks the father for tips. The father runs the basics down and stresses one thing. "Now son, there are only three things you can talk about : Food, Family and Philosophy".

The boy has no reason to doubt h...

I really feel like having some pancakes...

maybe I don't...I just can't stop waffling.

Babies are like pancakes

You have every right to throw the first one away

Two pancakes were talking. One said to the other, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, "hello."

The other said "ugh, get away from me, you crepe."

Did you hear about the guy who didn't like people watching him eat pancakes?

He always ate them syruptitiously.

A man walked into a psychiatrist's office with a pancake on his head...

... a fried egg on each shoulder, and a piece of bacon over each ear.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the psychiatrist.
The man said: "I'm worried about my brother."

My successful pancake business was recently shut down

Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot

What do you call someone who can't turn pancakes?

A flip-flop.

Why didn't the waffle go to the pancake party?

He was a square.

What do you call an Ewok who just ate pancakes?

A sticky Wicket.

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

You're driving down the highway on a jet ski, when a wheel falls off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse?

Purple, cuz Ice Cream has no bones....


Has anyone heard a version of this before?

here's a pretty good joke

so, once there was a boy and he was born with no body, no arms, and no legs. One night, on his 18th birthday, his dad took him down to a bar and got him a drink. The boy took a sip and out popped his body. His dad was flabbergasted and urged him to take another sip. The boy took another sip and, sur...

Superman...

Superman walks into a room with a pancake on his head...


Not all heroes wear crepes.

So its pancake Tuesday today

That surely crepe'd up on us

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