What magic spell does Harry Potter use when he get diarrhoea from a chocolate mousse?
This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall. He asks the barman, "What the hell is that?" The...
I go to a restaurant and read the menu..
Me: I'll have the mouse please
Waiter: That's Mousse, sir.
Me: Never mind then, that'll be way too much food!
Things mothers said
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now, turn it off and get to bed!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTH...
What is a hippo's favourite dessert?