Apple Pie Jokes

One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left.

As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't ... read more

An old man is dying, with his young grandson by his bedside. He asks his grandson to lean over and whispers "Johnny, I smell your grandma's apple pie. Looks like she took it of the oven. Go to the kitchen and bring me a piece. It's my favorite."

Johnny gets up and leaves. 2 minutes later he c... read more

An immigrant family in the 1890s saved up some money and sent their oldest son to America to work. A year later, he saved up enough to get his brother to America and the two of them worked construction to save up and buy tickets for the rest of the family.


The older brother knew a lot mo... read more

Those are the the pie rates of the Caribbean

“Sir, you did ask me to step on it.”

…a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.

In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.

In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but ... read more

In Cuba you will have to pay $9,90,

Whereas in Barbados you will only spend $4,50

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Pumpkin pie costs 3$ in Jamaica

Banana pie costs 2.5$ in Puerto Rico

These are the PieRates of the Caribbean

A Russian man has been taught a phrase by his friend so that he can order food at the local restaurant.

Each day on his lunch break he goes to the same place and orders “ah pull pi and cough yeh”

One day he asks his friend to please teach him something else because he is so tired of ... read more

Because there isn't anything more American then copying other cultures and pretend its American

Because he showed up baked.

This story takes place in 1860. Back 150+ years ago, presidental candidates didn't have nearly the luxuries current candidates do. The didn't stay in five star hotels or travel by private jet - they stayed with normal families on their campaigns and in exchange for a place to stay, would do chores a... read more

I'm planning to desert her.

Cherry pie in Antigua $4.57

Key Lime Pie in Dominican Republic $3.87

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

Then both of us are in A La mode.

Pain pain pain, Tarte Tatin, Tarte Tatin.

I"m never gonna run around and dessert you.

An old man is lying on his deathbed, when he smells the delicious aroma of freshly-baked apple pie. He calls over his grandson and whispers, "Boy, go ask your grandma for a slice of that pie."

The boy scampers off and returns a minute later, replying, "Grandma says no, it's for after the fune... read more

Did you know a pork pie in Aruba costs $1.50? A cheese and spinach pie will cost you $2.60 in Barbados. An apple pie is only $1.30 in Jamaica whereas a pecan pie will set you back $3.50 in Grenada.



And those are the pie rates of the Carribean.

Met an old sailor once in a bar. Sat and talked for a while and asked him if he heard of Jack Sparrow. Suddenly he started telling me about how in Jamaica, beef pies cost $1.50. Goat pies cost around $2 and apple pies are about $2.50.

In Trinidad the prices are roughly the same. Cheese and o... read more

An old couple sit in their living room when the wife starts complaining to her husband. "You are getting more and more forgetful, it's terrible, you never bring me what I asked for." He rejects this claim and says: "This is not true, I'll prove you wrong and bring you some food from the kitchen. Wha... read more

Apple Pie is 3.14 times better than apples by themselves.

...he knows he doesn't have much time left. His wife is in the kitchen, his daughter at his bedside. His wife is baking, and with what little senses he has left, he can smell she's making apple pie. He asks his daughter, "Do you think you can do me one last favor?"

"Anything," she respond... read more

They say, "We always seem to forget even the most mundane things. It's really starting to interfere with our lives."
The Doctor says, "I know this sounds obvious, but why not try writing things down on a little piece of paper so you remember them?"

They try this for a week and it works per... read more

*I was reminded of this joke yesterday (don't ask why!). If this is a repost, then I suck at reddit search.*

A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter
brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the
customer decides to let it go.

"Would you l... read more

An old Jewish man is on his death bead, surrounded by his loving family, and preparing to move into the Olam Habah.
While he's lying there, he smells a delicious smell and immediately recognizes it as his wife's delicious apple pie.
He whispers to his eldest daughter:
"Sarah, my time has a... read more

...they served a pretty good Apple pie A-llah-mode.

Because he's not real

A young boy asks his grandfather:

"What's the most common English expression?"

The Grandfather, full of wisdom, says, "I love baseball and apple pie."

Puzzled, the boy shrugs it off and continues.

"So, what's the most common German expression?"

Without skipping a ... read more