Quiche Jokes

The Quick Cliché Quiche Clique Competition. Coming soon.

When you see it, you think it’s pie right?

"What's wrong?" asks the Viking.

"Well," the woman says, wiping her tears, "I have been living on my own for many months now, and my daughter and son-in-law have at last come to visit me. My daughter has brought me along on this shopping trip, but it's the first time I've really been out and ... read more

"Honey, do you want to come home at lunch for a quickie?"

"Sarah, it's pronounced Quiche."

Apparently it's not pronounced like "quickie"

The waitress asks Pence what he would like, and he replies, "I'd like a bowl of oatmeal and some fruit."
"And what can I get for you, Mr. President?" Trump replies with his trademark lecherous leer, "How about a quickie this morning?"
"Mr. President!" the waitress exclaims. "How rude! You'... read more

Clinton went to lunch and sits down with a secret service agent. Waitress comes by and asks what he will be having for lunch. He looks at her and says, "how 'bout a quickie?"

The waitress gets a disgusted looked on her face and storms off. The agent leans over and whispers, "Sir, it's pronoun... read more

She replied, "it's pronounced quiche"

You give them a quiche

“How about a quickie?” asks the one man. She immediately throws his water in his face and storms off to call the manager.

His friend leans across the table and says, “Dude, it’s pronounced “quiche””.

Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet ... read more

I tell them it’s quiche but with a special ingredient and it’s best at a certain time of the year but they never believe me

No one expects the Spinach in Quiche Season

That way, y'all can take eggs, cream, and a pie crust and quiche my ash.

The con-quiche-tador

Oh please, so quiche

Then it happened, from nowhere came down the sandwiches, sausage rolls, scotch eggs quiche and Vol-au-vent and then I realised we was being buffetted by the wind.

The waitress comes over to take their order.

The guy says, "I think I'd like a quicky."

The waitress says, "Excuse me!?"

The guy says, "I said I want a quicky."

The waitress slaps him.

The guy's date leans over and says, "I think this idiot is trying to order ... read more

An old man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won’t quit walks up to his table and asks if he is ready to order.

"What would you like, sir?”

He looks at the menu, scans her... read more

I said “why don’t you like quiche”

A quiche.

they stop for lunch in a small diner and when Bill orders, he says, "I'll have a quickie."

The waitress giggles and Hillary glares, but says nothing.

The next day, at lunch in a diner, Bill orders: "I'll have a quickie."
Same response.

The third day, Bill ordering lunch say... read more

I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me! The old lady next to me said, “it’s pronounced ‘Quiche’, my Dear.”

So I went over, and she told she had just finished reading a Cosmo article called "which traffic sign are you?"



"Which traffic sign would your ideal woman be?" she asked me seductively.



I said " Ain't no particular sign I'm more compatible with I just want your extra t... read more

"Its pronounced 'quiche'", I told her.

Hello sir, what would you like to order?

I'll have a quickie please sweetheart...

Okay sir i'll ask again, what would you like to order?

I really want a quickie, please, you know? Tart...

With that the waitress slaps the guy and storms off.

One of the other custome... read more

Joe and Kamala went to a diner to get a bite to eat. A good looking waitress comes up and asks, "Can I take your order?"

Biden says, "Yes, I'd like a quickie!"

She turns a little red and say, "Sir, with you running for president I don't think you should even be suggesting something l... read more

A hug and a little quiche.

Bill looks at the menu briefly, and then looks up and down at the attendant before giving her a wink. He leans over and says "Well, I sure could go for a quickie right about now."

The Attendant is flattered on some level but quickly starts flushing red at the terror of being about to learn j... read more

... With the restaurant cleared out by Secret Service, it's only the two men and the waitstaff. A waitress comes up to Trump and says "what can I get for you Mr. President?" Donald Trump looks at the menu and says "you know, I would really like a quickie."

The waitress is upset, berates the p... read more

When they walk in, they see the host is an attractive young man. The woman walks up to him and says "I'm interested in a quickie." The young host is flustered and quickly finds them a table. Just as they sit down, the server walks up to take their order. Again, the woman says "I'm interested in a qu... read more

Bill Clintons and George Bush go out for lunch when the waitress comes over to take the order she's a bit flustered and has to say that she was a big fan of George when he was in his chair as president and she voted for him and she supported him the whole way she said I'll be right back to take your... read more