Whenever I make chocolate chip or blueberry muffins, I make sure one muffin is just batter.

I like to play Muffin Roulette.

Wife cheats on her husband with the mailman

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope....

Why can't blueberry bagels fly?

Because, then they would be plane bagels.

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A guy walks into Baskin Robbins

Walks up to the counter and asks the employee

"What all flavors do you guys have?"

The employee names off all 31 flavors and the guy says

"I'll take a pint of chocolate"

The employee says "I'm sorry sir but we don't have any chocolate"

The guy says "Hmm, well w...

How do you make a blueberry?

You strangle a pea.

A lady went to fake her death to fool her boyfriend, she bought some jam and prepared...

The boyfriend came home and immediately knew she was faking it.

The lady frowned and asked "How did you know?"

The man chuckled lightly and said "you used blueberry"

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[Long] [NSFW] One warm autumn day,

A man walks into the patent office and slams a stack of papers down triumphantly. "I've bred apples that taste like different fruits, and furthermore, each half of an apple tastes different!"

The patent clerk looks up in boredom, "Sure, sure... But I need to verify the truthfulness of this cl...

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Blueberry Hill

A kindergarten teacher is calling in students from recess when she notices several students are missing. A few minutes later, one of the students, a young boy, turns up in the class room.

"Why are you late?" the teacher asks.

"I was on top of Blueberry Hill" the boy replies, taking his...

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A truck driver was driving down the road

He read a small sign nailed to a light pole that said “peaches that taste like everything and anything.” Curious, the truck driver drove down the road that the sign was nailed to and came across and old man with a little setup in front of a farm. The truck driver parked his truck and went over to ...

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

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A man is selling berries from a stand on the street.

One day, a woman walks up to the stand and asks the vendor, "Do you have tomatoes?"

"I'm sorry miss, but I only carry berries. I have these delisious blueberries picked fresh from the bush just this morning. Would you like to try some?" The vendor asked.

"Oh, no thanks" the woman repl...

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What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry hahaha fuck you all

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Three men survive a plane crash...

Three men survive a plane crash on what appears to be a deserted island. In short order however, they realize it's inhabited by a tribe of cannibals. Surrounded by savages and all hope fading fast, one of the men pleas for the lives of him and his fellow survivors. The chief ponders his pleas and ul...

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The gnomes

One time a man was driving on the road when he got stopped by a gnome with red clothes.
The gnome said" I'm a red gnome and I want a strawberry". The man gave him a strawberry and went on his business.
Later he got stopped by a gnome with yellow clothes.
The gnome said:" I'm a yellow gnome...

What's round and black and blue?

A blueberry that occasionally gets hit by her husband

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2 friends shipwrecked on a desert island.....

....walking around trying to find help they got captured by a tribute living on that island. The chief of tribute , that is against all laughters, says to them:
"well.. I will give you ONE chance to get out from here alive, what you will need to do is: go into the jungle, and bring me back 50 fru...

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Lolipops

There was a 1st grade teacher helping her students by giving them lolipops to develop their sense of taste. She handed out lollipops of the same flavor to each student. She then questioned them about the flavor of the lolipops. The class replied in unison "Strawberry!". She replied "Very good class"...

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A man was driving along a country road when he saw a sign that read "Peaches, All Flavors, 1 Mile."

A man was driving along a country road when he saw a sign that read "Peaches, All Flavors, 1 Mile." After seeing this he thought to himself, "I gotta see this!" After driving for a mile he saw the stand and pulled off to investigate.

"Hi, I saw your sign and want to know how you can have peac...

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A lady walks in too an ice cream store.

A lady walks in to an ice cream store and asks the friendly guy behind the counter, "Could I get some chocolate ice cream please?" the man behind the counter says, "I am sorry ma'am, we are all out of chocolate ice cream." The lady looks around for a while then asks, "How about chocolate fudge ice c...

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A substitute teacher was beginning her first class...

A substitute teacher is beginning her first class. Five minutes after it starts, a boy walks in. "Class started five minutes ago, why are you late?" The teacher asked. "I was on top of Blueberry Hill," He replied. The teacher shook her head at the boy and sent him to his desk.

Five minutes l...

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Three guys are lost in a jungle

They run into a group of cannibals and out of fear, ask if there is anything they can do to avoid getting eaten. The leader of the cannibal group says, "Bring us back 10 pieces of a certain type of fruit. If you do, we will not only let you live, but tell you how to get out of the jungle and to safe...

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Why did everyone think the pie was gay?

Because he blueberry.

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A man has an unfortunately sized penis...

And he doesn't have a lot of money. He goes to a doctor and says "Doc, please can you help me? My penis is so small, I don't know what to do!" The doctor says "Well yes, but the procedure is $10,000."
"Aw geez doc I could NEVER afford that!" he says defeated

The doctor replies "Well, if ...

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The principal of a school stops by a teacher's room...

and tells her, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, you're going to have three new students today, from out in the country."
The teacher prepares three new desks, and waits all morning, but no new students show up. That is, until one boy in a pair of overalls runs in at about 10:00 a.m. and say...

There Once Lived A Family of Moles on a Hill.

On morning Papa Mole woke up and walked to the entrance of the burrow. He was greeted with the most beautiful morning he had ever seen. The sunrise shone brightly and scents of spring wafted through the air.

"This is amazing!" Papa exclaimed "Ma! Come and see this! The morning's beautiful an...

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Island of Cannibals

One day, three explorers landed on an island of cannibals. The king cannibal came up to them and said, "I am hungry. I will spare your lives if you each bring me 10 pieces of fruit." They quickly ran out and found fruit.

When the first explorer came back with 10 apples, the king cannibal told...

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