Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?

Desserted

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A guy gets a worm parasite...

A guy goes on a mission trip and contracts a gnarly parasite worm. Every doctor tells him he's done for and the worm will starve him to death, but a friend of his who used to go on mission trips tells him about this doctor that has a technique to get rid of the worm, but warns him that the doctor is...

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How to make Emo Cupcakes

What You'll need:

Cupcake Tray

An oven

Milk

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

We're

Going

Down

Swingin'

Cake walks into a bar and orders a drink.

After a while he notices everyone's been staring at him since he walked in the door. He asks the barman, "what's everyone's problem?"

The barman says, "If I were you I'd get the hell out if here... Looks to me like everyone wants a piece of you!"

"That's nothing mate", replies the cake...

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So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale

I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes

In a bakery...

In a bakery:

Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Shop assistant: “Cupcake?”

Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”

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A girl once asked her dad about her name

One night, Cupcake asks her dad how she got her name. So her dad tells her that cupcakes was something her mom loved to eat before she got pregnant. Her older brother then asks the dad about how he got his name.
Dad: Shut up, Dick!

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Some tidbits for your pleasure

I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight....
It's probably not a good night to go to jail.

Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked...

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A bloke walks into a barber's shop with his 5 yr old daughter.

While he sit's down to get his hair cut, the daughter stands right beside him eating a cupcake.

The barber warns her:
"Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your muffin."

She looks him in the eye:
"I know. I'm gonna grow tits too."

Trump and Hillary walk into a pastry shop

Hillary whispers to trump "Look look.."

Grabs 3 cupcakes and sticks them in her pocket

Trump is shocked "What are you doing ? that's theft ! just watch and learn"

Trump calls the clerk "listen, if you give me a cupcake, ill show you an amazing magic trick", Intrigued, the clerk ...

I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me...

please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes.

She replied..."I won't dessert you."

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A man found out he won the lottery while at work...

The first thing he did after getting home was yell out to his wife "Honey, pack your things I just won the lottery!".

After hearing this she excitedly runs into the room yelling "That's great! Where are we going to go?".

The husband turns around looks her square in the eye and says, "D...

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A man goes into a pub

A man goes into a pub and the barmaid asks what he wants. I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your breasts' he says. You bloody dirty git,' shouts the barmaid, 'get out before I fetch my husband.'

The man apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. Th...

Baseball baking

What's the difference between a baseball cupcake and a baseball muffin...

The batter

Black History Month Bake Sale

Vanilla Cupcakes: $1

Colored Cupcakes: 3/5th of $1

California Day

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
...

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