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Cupcake Jokes

What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?

Desserted

What did the cupcake say at the party?

Where all the holes at?!

I woke up with the ability to recall every cake and cupcake I ever ate.

Guess you could say I now have Duncan Hines-sight...

My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.

Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.

Yo mama's so narcissistic...

She makes cupcakes for your class on her birthday!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mother and her young daughter take a trip to the bakery where the daughter selects a delicious cupcake to eat.

On the way home the mother decides to stop and get her hair done at the hairdressers.
The mother takes a seat in the hairdressers chair and daughter plonks herself down next to Mum and starts eating her cupcake.
The hairdresser begins cutting away at Mums hair, looks down to the daughter and s...

Why was the cupcake so scared of the bong?

Because the bong threatened to get him baked.

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A guy gets a worm parasite...

A guy goes on a mission trip and contracts a gnarly parasite worm. Every doctor tells him he's done for and the worm will starve him to death, but a friend of his who used to go on mission trips tells him about this doctor that has a technique to get rid of the worm, but warns him that the doctor is...

In a bakery...

In a bakery:

Man to the shop assistant: “I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Shop assistant: “Cupcake?”

Man: “OK, Cupcake, I’ll have that thing there, please.”

Baseball baking

What's the difference between a baseball cupcake and a baseball muffin...

The batter

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How to make Emo Cupcakes

What You'll need:

Cupcake Tray

An oven

Milk

Butter

Eggs

Flour

Sugar

We're

Going

Down

Swingin'

Told to me by my five year old (she insists it's original)

My daughter, after inspecting the cupcake she decorated:

"What do you call a baby bear that doesn't have its teeth yet?"

"A gummy bear!"

Cake walks into a bar and orders a drink.

After a while he notices everyone's been staring at him since he walked in the door. He asks the barman, "what's everyone's problem?"

The barman says, "If I were you I'd get the hell out if here... Looks to me like everyone wants a piece of you!"

"That's nothing mate", replies the cake...

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a boy was asked to think of three good quotes at school

he went home and asked his mother, she said “a fool and his money are soon parted”

he asked his father, he said “ask and you shall receive”

he asked his grandfather, who served the military, he said, “where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved”

he went ba...

Some person starts working at a bakery.

(not my joke)

His first day is Monday. Upon entering, he hears that today is doughnut day. He dances with joy, and starts baking doughnuts like a madman. The manager tastes the doughnuts, and they are the best of the best doughnuts you would have ever tasted. His enthusiasm lasts for the enti...

I was walking home late one night when I saw dozens of giant cupcakes and pies everywhere. It was kind of scary.

The streets were oddly desserted.

No stealing!!

So I saw a sweet little girl in the park selling cupcakes so I purchased one and as I savoured it's flavor I asked her," don't you ever get tempted to take one of them?" She looked at me in shock,"no! That would be stealing. I only lick them and put them right back."

Americans always have something to complain about, then suddenly they'll move on. Remember when people were up in arms about cupcakes, bathrooms, statues, police, riots, clean water? So when you think this "Wall" thing will last forever, just remember...

People will eventually get over it.

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A bloke walks into a barber's shop with his 5 yr old daughter.

While he sit's down to get his hair cut, the daughter stands right beside him eating a cupcake.

The barber warns her:
"Sweetheart, you're going to get hair on your muffin."

She looks him in the eye:
"I know. I'm gonna grow too."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl once asked her dad about her name

One night, Cupcake asks her dad how she got her name. So her dad tells her that cupcakes was something her mom loved to eat before she got pregnant. Her older brother then asks the dad about how he got his name.
Dad: Shut up, !

I told my chef wife that if she were to leave me...

please leave me one of your incredible cupcakes.

She replied..."I won't dessert you."

A man goes to a bakery shop . .

Man to the shop assistant: 'I will have that one, please'

Shop Assistant: 'Cupcake?'

Man rolls his eyes**
'Ok Cupcake, I will have that one please'

It is called BALANCE!

Some days you eat salads and go to the gym, some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. it is called BALANCE

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So a guy walked into a bar and asked how to become a cupcake...

So, a guy walked into a bar and he saw a cupcake. He went up to the cupcake and asked, "How do I become a cupcake?"

The cupcake replied, "You have to eat a cupcake to become a cupcake."

So the guy left to go eat a cupcake and the next night he returned to the bar. He then saw a chocola...

My sister made 44 cupcakes with an assortment of red, white, and blue frosting for an Independence Day dinner.

"Why 44?" I asked her. "Because that's the number of real presidents this country has actually had?"

(This actually just happened.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man found out he won the lottery while at work...

The first thing he did after getting home was yell out to his wife "Honey, pack your things I just won the lottery!".

After hearing this she excitedly runs into the room yelling "That's great! Where are we going to go?".

The husband turns around looks her square in the eye and says, "D...

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So there's this duck...

...and one day he's walkin down the street when he gets a huge craving for some donuts. So he goes to the bakery and walks in and says to the baker "hey man can i get a dozen donuts, half glazed and half boston creme?" And the baker's like "No, you can't. We don't serve ducks here." And the duck's a...

I signed up to volunteer at a pro-life bake sale

I'll be selling cups of uncooked batter and insisting they're actually cupcakes

California Day

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
...
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