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Cobbler Jokes

How do you roast a cobbler?

You make fun of their shoes

Oldest. Cobbler. Ever.

My Rabbi taught me about the **cobbler** in the Old Testament who was 969 years old.



Me***shoe*****s**elah

My mate Dave's got a bad history with cobbler's and he refuses to replace his favourite shoes, despite having lots of holes in them.

He said he's got *trusty-shoes...*

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A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people...

At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.

Before he faces his sentence, he's offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him. The next day, he's led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing hap...

What do you do if you can't find a cobbler?

You get the baker to fix your choux.

A Dutch man goes to a cobbler

Wanting his wooden clogs fixed.

“What’s wrong with them?” asks the shop owner.

“Well you see,” says the Dutchman, “these are my work boots. They’re getting worn out and have some holes in them. Could you fix them up?”

The owner had never fixed wooden shoes, but he figured it ...

What's the cobblers favorite brand of chocolate?

Sneackers.

“Leave the peach cobbler in the kitchen alone,” mother would say, going upstairs.

But I couldn’t help myself, I sneaked in and watched him making those stupid little peach shoes.

50 years after being deported a jewish man return to his hometown's cobbler who still has his shoes

"They'll be ready in 3 days!"

Christopher Reeves went to the cobbler to pick up a pair of boots he was having custom made...

...he asked the cobbler if the pair he was working on was his to which the cobbler replied, "No, wrong Christopher. These boots were made for Walken."

Morris was going through an old drawer, and he discovered a ticket for the cobbler shop, dated about 40 years ago.

He remembered having brought in his spare loafers to get new heels, so many years ago, and somehow he had forgotten all about them.

"I wonder if old Gelbstein still has his shop? It's been so long since I was even in that part of the city."

So Morris goes down there, and to his amazem...

What's a cobbler's favorite dessert?

Tear in me shoe.

One night a humble cobbler and devout Christian was praying when suddenly he heard a voice booming in his head.

"I am the Lord thy God. For offering the one trillionth prayer, I will answer three questions."

The cobbler decided he must think carefully about his questions so that he could do justice to God's message to His creation. After thinking for a bit, he managed to whisper, "Is it true that you m...

What did the cobbler say to get the slavs off his lawn?

Shoe polish

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If some last names were an ancestor's profession (Baker, Cobbler)

How do you explain Dickinson?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Smith family name gets its origin from a line of blacksmiths. The Cobbler family name get its origin from a line of shoe repairmen.

What the hell was going on with the Dickinson family?

A cobbler was once elected the mayor of a small town.

People thought he was a real shoe-in.

How do you reboot a Computer?

By calling a Cobbler.



\*I tried posting in r/DadJokes but didn't have the Karma req..

What would you call Dr Frankenstein if he were made of fruit

A peach cobbler!

Who fixes Princess Toadstool’s shoes?

The Peach cobbler.

What do you call someone who beats up dessert chefs?

Cobbler clobberer.

What do you eat after a presidential christmas dinner?

Impeach cobbler

There's a rumour that a bunch of elderly shoemakers have been terrorising the neighbourhood.

It's a load of old cobblers.

In honor of Trump's last night as president, tonight I'll be making...

Lame Duck A L'Orange, and for dessert, ImPEACHment Cobbler.

I had expected that being asked to produce shoes for the Vatican would improve business at my Dublin shoe shop...

...but we've had nothing but trouble since changing our sign to say COBBLERS TO THE POPE

A priest walks into a shoemakers shope...

And says to the cobbler,

"Help! My soles need heeling!"

The Pope and the Rabbi (not the apple one)

The Pope is walking down a street in London, when the heel breaks off his shoe. He looks around, and sees two shops advertising shoe repair. Looking closer, he sees a star of David on the wall in one, and a crucifix in the other. He thinks for a moment, and decides he'll go into the Jewish run shop,...

Chris Christie's Favorite New Dessert???

Impeach Cobbler

So I was walking through rural Georgia when...

...I passed a little lady with white hair and deep wrinkles sitting on her front porch who waved to me. I decided to amble up, say hello, and see if I could determine the secret to her longevity.

She told me her name was Ida and that she'd lived in this house her whole life, just as her par...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gentleman on his way to a job interview in Brooklyn breaks the sole of his shoe.

Not wanting to arrive at the interview with a broken shoe, he asks some by-standers where the closest cobbler is.

“You’ll want Olaf Von Gundersen.” says one gentleman. “He isn’t very close by but he’s quick and his prices are just right.”

Having no choice, the man with the broken shoe...

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