Muffin Jokes

...is what you do, when you take them out of the oven ?

French Fries Were Not Invented In France.

We Sometimes Take English For Granted

But If We Examine Its Paradoxes We Find That:

Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly

Boxing Rings Are Square

And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea Nor Is It A Pig.

If Writers Write, H... read more

My aunt Sara is someone who has an excellent sense of humor. In a nutshell, my aunt is a lady in her sixties who uses the fact that she loves cakes and is overweight... to make fun of herself. One of the most delightful conversations i had with her was when i met her at the bus stop one day and she ... read more

I like to play Muffin Roulette.

He is very excited as this is his first venture since qualifying. He sells ok on everyday items like bread, but runs into trouble with his 'special items'. One day he makes beautiful cakes, however his customers only want pastries that day. So the next day he makes pastries, but now they want muffin... read more

Is apparently not the right answer when your wife asks if her pants give her a muffin top

"I doubt I can. It’s a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It’s as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would ... read more

So, first time making blueberry muffins, and the recipe calls for 2 cup flour. The only measuring cups I have in the house are a 1/2 cup and a 1/3 so I actually had to take the time to do 4 halves.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

One turns to the other and says, “boy, it sure is hot in here!”

The other muffin replies, “Ahhhhh a talking muffin!!!!!”

(I’m terrible at jokes and this is the only one that I consistently don’t f*k up and my husband actually laughs when I tell it.)

Because he was already stuffed...

Sorry, I'll do better next year - definitely Muffin that I will repeat again!

He was baked

I was talking to the muffin man he looked kinda sad so I said something wrong?
He said, no muffin's wrong

Two muffins are in an oven. One says, "Wow, it's hot in here..." The other says, "HOLY **** A TALKING MUFFIN!"

[Source](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/14xi0m/make_me_laugh_and_ill_gift_you_one_game_on_steam/c7i265g)

I'm flattered!

One day they are both killed in a tragic accident, and go to heaven.

On the first morning, they go up to God and ask where the gym is. "Gym?" God replies, "you don't need to go to the gym here, you'll always be in perfect shape even if you never exercise." The wife says how nice that is, but... read more

But did you know the ice cream man lives down Rocky Road?

They had been married for 60 years, and kept in good health due to their healthy diet and regular exercise.

When they reached heaven, St. Peter took them to their mansion, decked out with a fully stocked kitchen, master bath suite, and their very own jacuzzi. As his wife 'oohed' and 'aahed' a... read more

And the muffin says, "Dude, everything is energy man; it's all energy swirling around. Good energy, and bad energy, and it all depends on what energy you tap into. It's like the planets and electrons and stuff; everything is swirling."
The dough replies, "Dude, you're baked."

They both rely on a good *batter*

The baker rolls his eyes and says "well, you did ask for a blue brie muffin."

"Its FOR-BIDEN!"

A math problem

They’re nothing but crooks and nannies

Dad comes home from work 1 day and his daughter meets him at the door crying. Daddy something is very wrong with Fluffy. Dad asks her to show him. There is Fluffy in the middle of the floor laying on his back stiff as a board. Dad says I'm so sorry muffin but Fluffy has gone to visit God. Muffin ask... read more