Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

Where do pickles go to buy a car?

The dillership!

I went on a date the other night. She took out the pickles from her burger and cut them in half.

For me, that's a dill breaker.

Guys if you and your pickles are in a toxic relationship, here's what to do

Try to talk it out, even if its HARD TO OPEN UP. then if things go SOUR, get rid of them. There, DILLemma solved

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on itallian bread, make with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the sa...

What happens when life gives you pickles instead of lemons?

You dill with it.

A Subway sandwich maker has a very eccentric regular customer.

The eccentric customer always orders a tuna sandwich, but heavily modified, made with an extra cup of mayo, smothered in chili peppers, red peppers, onions, and pickles, then toasted until it's burnt. It looks and smells disgusting and the worker dreads it when he sees that customer come in.
...

Why do we refer to problems as pickles?

Because they're Dill-emmas!

Gas station was selling pickles 2 for 1

Dill of the day

What kind of music do pickles listen to?

Vlassic Rock

I don't get why pregnant women crave pickles.

A pickle is what got them pregnant in the first place.

Do you know why they say it's bad to smoke pickles?

It'll make you dill.

A man walked into the doctor's surgery

He had half a bun on his head, a sausage behind his ear, several pickles in his shirt and an ice cream cone on his foot.

The doctor took one look and said
"Im afraid you're not eating properly."

What do a bunch of soon-to-be pickles and a heavy pool stick have in common?

You either have some cucumber or a cumbersome cue!

A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today

I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle

How do pickles forgive people?

“It’s not a big dill”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Life is like a pickle

Sometimes it in your hand, sometimes it’s in you butt

I'm gonna start a company that makes medium sized pickles

Not to brag or anything but it's kind of a big dill.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quite the Pickle

When my grandmother died, as an only child my father had to clean out her place. When he came upon her recipe box, he sat on the floor and went through them slowly. Many had been handed down to her from her mother, my great-grandmother. One by one, he closed his eyes and remembered the simple joy of...

I watched a documentary about how pickles are made.

It was jarring.

I Take Jumbo Pickles Very Seriously

I mean, it's a pretty big dill

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