What do dill pickels call non-dill pickels?

Infidills

Made dill bread today

Really kneaded that dill dough

Do you know why they say it's bad to smoke pickles?

It'll make you dill.

What do you call a pickle you buy at a great price?

A sweet Dill!

Humans advanced to the point of space domination and could create clones of themselves.

Two friends, Dill and Jeuk decided to play space tag. Dill was 'it'.

Jeuk had a clever trick up his sleeve. He created 50 clones of himself and hid them in the galaxy, while he himself hid in a cluster of comets.

After a lot of looking, Dill found the first clone in a nearby star syste...

What type of drugs do spices deal?

They dill weed.

A pickle walks into a casino and sits down at a card table

He says “Dill me in”

Why can't I take pickle-flavored breads to the church picnic?

Because it's made from dill doughs!

A cucumber made a dill with the devil.

He's in quite a pickle now.

My pickle order was totally under-cooked.

It was really a raw dill.

What's a pickle's favorite game show?

Dill or No Dill,
hosted by Howie Mandill.

A buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

The vendor drops a kosher beef hot dog into a seed-covered bun and tops it with yellow mustard, chopped white onions, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices, relish, hot peppers, celery salt, and black pepper.

The monk hands over a $100 bill and takes the hot dog. The vendor takes the note and sm...

What do you call a pickle you cant turn down?

A good dill.

(Dad joke my buddy came up with who doesn't have kids. Best read out loud).

How do pickles forgive people?

“It’s not a big dill”

Just came back from the state fair and saw the world's smallest pickle

It was no big dill

What did the carrot say to the cucumber that owed him money?

Hey man, you knew the dill. Now you're in a pickle, and I couldn't carrot all.

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The coroner

So the cop asks the Coroner, "What's the story with that female we pulled out of the river yesterday?"

The Coroner says, "Cause of death was blunt force trauma and asphyxiation."

The cop asks, "How long was she in the river?"

The Coroner says, "About six days. Her clitoris was l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a horny baker use to pleasure themselves?

They use a Dill-Dough

I'm like a jumbo kosher pickle

Guess you could say I'm a pretty big dill.

I'm gonna start a company that makes medium sized pickles

Not to brag or anything but it's kind of a big dill.

What do you call a pickle when you use it to pleasure yourself?

A dill-do.

The server at the sandwich shop said that every sandwich comes with a free pickle.

I said, “That’s a really good dill.”

What did the giant pickle say to sound modest?

I’m kind of a big Dill.

A plant fell on my head...

I'm alright though, it was no big dill.

You hear about that crazy pickle who thought he was a flower?

What a daffy dill!

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A large pickle walks into a bar

A large pickle walks into a bar, sits down, looks at the bartender, and asks for his usual to be put on a tab. Having never seen the large pickle before, the bartender says "Who even are you? Tab priveleges are reserved only for celebrities, well-known people, or dicks that try to get out of paying....

Why isn’t pickle-flavored bread a thing?

Because no one wants to eat a dill dough.

Lovingly slow-cooked over an open flame...

...I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.

Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise.

I'm so proud of my mother-in-law

We were sitting down to our St Patrick's day dinner. And I announced, "I took extra pickles, so Dill with it." I thought I was clever but she did me one better. She smiled sweetly and said, "That's ok. Today I'm Dublin everything!"

What do you get when you combine a pickle and a deer ?

A dill doe

I grew a massive herb in my garden.

I told all of my family and friends about it but none of them thought it was a big dill.

My parents and I walk in to the house and see my sister...

My parents and I walk in to the house and see my sister sitting on the table next to an open jar of pickles.

Her legs are open as if stirrups were holding them up, pickle affixed in the unholiest of holies.

Stunned, we tried to play it off with some small talk.

Sister silent, I ...

What do you get when you cross King Kong and a pickle?

Ron Burgundy.


Perhaps you've heard of him, he's kind of a big dill.

Pickle joke

I was walking down the street eating my tiny pickle.

And someone bumped into me, knocking it out of my hand.

He apologized and I told him "it's not a big dill."

Thank you:)

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Jimmy and the "Classic-Vlasic-Ass-Lick"

Jimmy goes to see a beautiful dominatrix that all his buddies recommended.

He nervously tells her, "My friends said I should ask you for a 'Classic-Vlasic-Ass-Lick'. But they wouldn't tell me anything about it. What is it exactly?"

She explains, "Well, first I'm going to strip you na...

Why are hot pickle buns so popular in polish women's prisons?

They're made out of dill dough.

I think my wife is going to bake me some pickle bread!

She just got home with a big box and said she would surprise me tonight with her new dill dough.

A man starts a line of pickled venison ...

...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe.

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