What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

At the end of the day, we’re all human beans

Together we will rice. Now lettuce pray. Ramen.

What’s 120 pinto beans plus 120 kidney beans?

Two-farty

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.

"My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans”

What does a coffee bean tell when he insults another coffee bean

'' You just got ROASTED ''

Why does Irish chili only have 239 beans?

Because anymore and it'd be too farty.

Mr Bean vs Einstein

Einstein challenges Mr Bean.
He says "If you can't answer my question you'll give me 1$ and if I can't answer yours i'll give you 1000$."
Mr Bean agrees. So Einstein gives him a really hard question where he doesn't know the answer to, so he gives Einstein 1$.
Now it was Mr Beans turn, s...

Ha-bean Anniversary

There lived a woman in Colorado who had a maddening obsession and passion for baked beans. She loved them, but they always seemed to give her a very embarrassing, and somewhat lively reaction. When it became apparent that she and her boyfriend would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you eat peanut butter and baked beans?

A fart that sticks to the roof of your ass

Coffee isn't electrically conductive in bean form.

But it is when it's ground.

Did you know there is a limit of 239 beans in a can of beans?

Adding 1 more would make it 2 Farty.

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

My dad’s famous chili recipe calls for exactly 239 beans....

One more would make it too farty :)

I used to can beans for a living,

In Heinz sight it wasn't a bad job.

A concerned mother checks her son into a mental hospital after he traded the family cow for some “magic” beans.

“Ma’am” the doctor said with a look of sympathy “I’m afraid your son has a strong case of schizophrenia.”

“Oh good lord, I knew there was something wrong when he insisted those beans were magic” the mother said wiping a tear from her eye.

“Well no it’s not that, the beans are actually ...

What kinda beans cannibals eat?

Kidney beans

What is the first name of Mr. Bean?

Piratesofthecarib

Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Sean Bean dying in a movie

...and I'm not completely sure about the first two.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a 7-eleven coffee cup on the table in the break room.

I was curious, so I looked on the back of the cup. It said that the coffee beans were mountain-grown in the world's finest coffee-growing regions and were inspected for premium quality five times prior to being roasted. I snuck a sip of the coffee and thought, "Wow. That's impressive."

Becau...

Recently a robber stole 300 cups worth of coffee beans

How does he sleep at night.

Guests are coming tonight

Husband: Guests are coming tonight. What's for dinner?

Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans.

Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say ...

How do you sell beans for the price of beef?

Make vegan burger.

I opened a can of expired beans

It let out an uncanny smell.

What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

...


I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

A Baked Bean lover

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never...

Did you hear about the coffee bean that committed murder?

It was sentenced to death by decaffeination.

What do you call a can of beans in retrospect

Heinz-sight

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