What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

Why does Irish chili only have 239 beans?

Because anymore and it'd be too farty.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you get when you eat peanut butter and baked beans?

A fart that sticks to the roof of your ass

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Did you know there is a limit of 239 beans in a can of beans?

Adding 1 more would make it 2 Farty.

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

Beans for lunch

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was...

My dad’s famous chili recipe calls for exactly 239 beans....

One more would make it too farty :)

I used to can beans for a living,

In Heinz sight it wasn't a bad job.

Green beans

Did you know that if you say "GULLIBLE" really slowly, it sounds like "GREEN BEANS"??

A concerned mother checks her son into a mental hospital after he traded the family cow for some “magic” beans.

“Ma’am” the doctor said with a look of sympathy “I’m afraid your son has a strong case of schizophrenia.”

“Oh good lord, I knew there was something wrong when he insisted those beans were magic” the mother said wiping a tear from her eye.

“Well no it’s not that, the beans are actually ...

I like my women how I like my coffee beans...

thrown in a burlap sack and transported halfway across South America

What kinda beans cannibals eat?

Kidney beans

Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Sean Bean dying in a movie

...and I'm not completely sure about the first two.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I saw a 7-eleven coffee cup on the table in the break room.

I was curious, so I looked on the back of the cup. It said that the coffee beans were mountain-grown in the world's finest coffee-growing regions and were inspected for premium quality five times prior to being roasted. I snuck a sip of the coffee and thought, "Wow. That's impressive."

Becau...

What is the first name of Mr. Bean?

Piratesofthecarib

How do you punish your coffee beans?

You ground it.

Recently a robber stole 300 cups worth of coffee beans

How does he sleep at night.

How do you sell beans for the price of beef?

Make vegan burger.

Guests are coming tonight

Husband: Guests are coming tonight. What's for dinner?

Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans.

Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say ...

I opened a can of expired beans

It let out an uncanny smell.

A Baked Bean lover

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day, he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never...

Did you hear about the coffee bean that committed murder?

It was sentenced to death by decaffeination.

What do you call a can of beans in retrospect

Heinz-sight

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

Chickpeas don't get reposted every single friggin day you unfunny bastards.

An economist, a chemist, and a physicist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat but a can of beans.

The chemist says, "Hey, there's a small tide pool of salt water over there. If we set the can in it the salinity will cause the can to rust/disintegrate and we can eat the beans." The physicist laughed and said, " You moron, by the time the salt eats through the can, we will have died of hunger. We...

What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

...


I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

What did they call Muhammad Ali after he had baked beans?

Gaseous Clay

Mr. Bean and Einstein are playing a game

"Shall we play a game?" Einstein asked.

Mr. Bean nodded.

"Here are the rules: I will ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me a dollar. Then you ask me a question and if I can't answer it, I will give you $1000," said Einstein.

"Ok," said Mr. Bean.

"A...

Mr Bean and Einstein in a flight together.

Einstein: Hey Mr Bean, let's play a game. I would ask you a question. If you can't answer it, you will have to give me ten dollars. You ask me a question and if I can't answer it I would give you a thousand dollars.

Bean: Okay, we can play that.

Einstein: What's the percentage of Nitro...

Sean Bean is walking down the street

Heard you guys like long OC.

 

Sean Bean is walking down the street, enjoying his Sunday night. Suddenly, a black paneled van pulls up next to him. Four massive dudes in ski masks wearing all black leap out and try to grab him. Sean remembers his GoT training and manages to ta...

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