What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? NSFW

I wouldn’t spend 12 dollars to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Bean Disaster

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he wa...

At the end of the day, we’re all human beans

Together we will rice. Now lettuce pray. Ramen.

What is a bean that is outdated?

A has-bean

Once upon a time, there was a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a maddening passion for baked beans. He loved them but unfortunately they had always had very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry he thought to hims...

Krillin, Sean Bean and a Starfleet redshirt walk into a bar.

They all lived.

Why did the coffee bean hide in the tree?

He heard he was going to be grounded.

What does a coffee bean tell when he insults another coffee bean

'' You just got ROASTED ''

Why have all the baked beans move to Queensland?

Because they like to live in Cairns

Why does Irish chili only have 239 beans?

Because anymore and it'd be too farty.

What’s 120 pinto beans plus 120 kidney beans?

Two-farty

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.

"My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans”

Did you know there is a limit of 239 beans in a can of beans?

Adding 1 more would make it 2 Farty.

Coffee isn't electrically conductive in bean form.

But it is when it's ground.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you eat peanut butter and baked beans?

A fart that sticks to the roof of your ass

Mr Bean vs Einstein

Einstein challenges Mr Bean.
He says "If you can't answer my question you'll give me 1$ and if I can't answer yours i'll give you 1000$."
Mr Bean agrees. So Einstein gives him a really hard question where he doesn't know the answer to, so he gives Einstein 1$.
Now it was Mr Beans turn, s...

Why do the Irish only put 239 beans in their soup?

Because one more bean would be too farty.

My dad’s famous chili recipe calls for exactly 239 beans....

One more would make it too farty :)

What is Muhammad Ali's nickname after he eats beans?

Gassius Clay

I used to can beans for a living,

In Heinz sight it wasn't a bad job.

Green beans

Did you know that if you say "GULLIBLE" really slowly, it sounds like "GREEN BEANS"??

A concerned mother checks her son into a mental hospital after he traded the family cow for some “magic” beans.

“Ma’am” the doctor said with a look of sympathy “I’m afraid your son has a strong case of schizophrenia.”

“Oh good lord, I knew there was something wrong when he insisted those beans were magic” the mother said wiping a tear from her eye.

“Well no it’s not that, the beans are actually ...

What kinda beans cannibals eat?

Kidney beans

What country has the coldest bean stew

Chile

Nothing is certain but death, taxes and Sean Bean dying in a movie

...and I'm not completely sure about the first two.

What is the first name of Mr. Bean?

Piratesofthecarib

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a 7-eleven coffee cup on the table in the break room.

I was curious, so I looked on the back of the cup. It said that the coffee beans were mountain-grown in the world's finest coffee-growing regions and were inspected for premium quality five times prior to being roasted. I snuck a sip of the coffee and thought, "Wow. That's impressive."

Becau...

Guests are coming tonight

Husband: Guests are coming tonight. What's for dinner?

Wife:I am not well today, so there's only green beans.

Husband:No worry. I have an idea. When the guests arrives you'll welcome them and I'll go to the kitchen and drop one utensil and then you'll say "what happen" . Then I'll say ...

Recently a robber stole 300 cups worth of coffee beans

How does he sleep at night.

What is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

...


I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

How do you sell beans for the price of beef?

Make vegan burger.

Did you hear about the coffee bean that committed murder?

It was sentenced to death by decaffeination.

I opened a can of expired beans

It let out an uncanny smell.

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