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A man comes home to his wife from his job at a relish factory one day...

He has a confused, lost look on his face, so his wife asks what's wrong.

The man turns to her and says, "I've been having the strangest urge at work lately."

His wife, being the caring woman she is, asks "What is it."

The man sighs and says, "I keep wanting to put my dick in the...

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A priest asks a little boy in confession, "do you ever masturbate?"

The boy says, "The 9th commandment says I cannot lie father. I masturbate frequently, with relish".

The priest says, "Hmmm, I've never tried it with relish".

I invented a relish made out of my own cash.

It's my main sauce of income.

On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hotdog.

She walks to the nearest hotdog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst. He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it, and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the...

A buddhist monk goes to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

The vendor drops a kosher beef hot dog into a seed-covered bun and tops it with yellow mustard, chopped white onions, a dill pickle spear, tomato slices, relish, hot peppers, celery salt, and black pepper.

The monk hands over a $100 bill and takes the hot dog. The vendor takes the note and sm...

What did the pickle do when it won the championship?

He just stood there to relish the moment.

An American is on a business trip to Mexico and has the first day off.

He decides he wants to ride a donkey, a traditional Mexican thing.

He asks this local man if he can rent a donkey for the day. The man says, "Gringo we call them asses here in Mexico. If you want him to stop though you need to scratch him." The American agrees and pays the Mexican man his ...

Some people hate hotdogs.

I relish them

Some would say I enjoy food puns too much...

I would say I relish in them.

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A cucumber, a pickle and a penis are talking about their lives.

Cucumber says: "Man, when I get big, fat and juicy, they cut me up and put me in salad"

Pickle says: "Man, when I get big, fat and juicy they put me in vinegar and onions for a month, then they cut me up and use me as relish"

Penis thinks for a second and replies: "When I get big, fat ...

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HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN:

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to,...

A citizen of Moscow went into a restaurant

A citizen of Moscow went into a restaurant and ordered: "Borsht, veal cutlets, rhubarb pie, a cup of coffee....oh and a copy of Pravda please."

"Certainly," said the waiter, "we have all that you have ordered except Pravda. That newspaper ceased publication when the old Communist regime colla...

I take my time while putting toppings on my hotdogs.

I choose to relish the moment.

How does the enthusiastic man eat his hot dog?

With relish.

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Prayers

A WOMAN'S POEM:


Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks..
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when ...

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Jimmy and the "Classic-Vlasic-Ass-Lick"

Jimmy goes to see a beautiful dominatrix that all his buddies recommended.

He nervously tells her, "My friends said I should ask you for a 'Classic-Vlasic-Ass-Lick'. But they wouldn't tell me anything about it. What is it exactly?"

She explains, "Well, first I'm going to strip you na...

Well this should spice things up.

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers?

With relish

I like to name my hotdog "The Moment"...

...so I can relish it

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