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Sauce Jokes

Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?

He was making up for lost thyme.

Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

A truck filled with Worcestershire sauce and a truck filled with quinoa crashed in front of the local charcuterie shop.

When asked by reporters what had happened a witness replied, "Well... it's kind of hard to say..."

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.

A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
...

How does a werewolf make bechamel sauce?

They start with a rooooooooouuuuuuuux!
^^^^First ^^^^gold ^^^^for ^^^^this?

The hot sauce I bought didn't have any heat to it.

I was mildly disappointed.

My girlfriend told me to put tomato sauce on the shopping list, so I did.

Now I can’t read it..

Chuck Norris, Zelensky, and God all walk into a bar.

The Bartender looks up, "Were were just about to start a new drinking game I've been working on. I call out a bragging point, and each one willing to meet it, chugs their drink. The last man standing due to matching every post and surviving every drink, gets the pot. Everyone else has to split the t...

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Whats good on pizza but not on pussy?

crust.





edit: yall keep making better jokes in the comments LMAO

possible answers : red sauce, white sauce, yeast, cheese, senior discount (wtf), crabs, hot sauce, mushrooms. damn yall are just funnier than me lol

A penguin grows tired of the cold winters in Alaska...

So he buys a used Corvette and heads south for warmer weather. About five hundred miles into the trip the Corvette starts to overheat.

He stops in a small town and finds a mechanic to get the issue fixed. The mechanic says he is not going to be able to look at the car for an hour, so the Pen...

How did the drag queens decide what kind of sauce base to make?

They took a roux poll

What do you call a spicy Mexican sauce made with consecrated water?

Holy Mole

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Making pizza is a lot like having sex...

If you’re going to use barbecue sauce, you better know what you’re doing.

Why did the cranberry sauce cross the road?

To get to the other sides.

Ordered some chicken nuggies at McDonalds. Drive through lady says: "Wakanda sauce"

This was right around the time Black Panther had come out so I go "hell yea I'll try that !"

She gon come back: SIR....... WHAT. KIND. OF. SAUCE.

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Anyone Have Cocktail Sauce?

The day after his wife disappeared In a kayaking accident, a man from Anchorage answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.

“We’re sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the troopers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens excla...

A man walks into a bar and notices a jar filled with $10 bills. He asks the bartender what it's for, and the bartender explains,

"We have a challenge here. If you can complete three tasks, you get all the money in the jar."
Intrigued, the man asks what the tasks are.
The bartender says, "First, you have to drink an entire gallon of hot sauce without crying. Second, there's a pit bull out back with a bad tooth, and you h...

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Wedding night

Sophia had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian girl living under the watchful eye of her mother, she remained a virgin up until she and her husband took their wedding vows…

On their wedding night, the newlyweds stayed at her mother's house, and Sophia was nervous. Her mother...

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If She Stayed In Italy To Raise The Child, He Would Also Provide Child Support Until The Child Turned 18.
She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for t...

What do you call a secret underground Soy Sauce smuggling ring??

A ponzu scheme!

What do you call a chicken in a dinghy full of tomato sauce, using carrots for oars, chasing a British Conservative fleeing Brexit?

Chicken Cacciatore

My Chinese wife never understands what I want when I say "69". It's getting really frustrating.

On the other hand, I do like beef with broccoli in sweet and sour sauce.

A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me.

So I said, “You wanna pizza me?”

As I moved my hand up her leg I said, "Baby, your legs are the sauce. I'm going to name them Sweet and Sour."

And then I discovered they came with McNuggets.

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My girlfriend was disgusted when she found out I masturbate with barbecue sauce as lube. I asked her what I should use instead...

She recommended I start with a dry rub.

What did the Spanish sauce say to the English sauce?

Soy sauce.

What’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

I asked Alexa, what’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

Dark soy sauce is used in Chinese cooking to add colour and flavour to dishes. Light is an electromagnetic radiation within a certain portion of the electro magnetic spectrum.

Thanks Alexa - you’re not technically w...

What do you call a noodle without any sauce?

A noodist

Why is soy sauce forbidden in fights?

‘Cause you should never Kikkoman when he’s down.

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Daughter asks her Mother for some advice...

"My boyfriend has asked me to give him a hand job" she says "But I have no idea how to do it?"

"It's pretty easy" her Mother replied "Just pretend you're shaking a bottle of sauce"

Later that evening, her boyfriend begged her to give him a hand job. "No problem" she said, so he unzippe...

Why does BBQ sauce always win the race?

Because the other competitors are always plain Ketchup!

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A man goes to a kebab street food restaurant

“One classic portion with extra sauce please.”

The man in the window writes down the order and yells to the back:

“One Oh fuck with a guitar”

“What?! That’s not what I ordered!”, replies the confused customer.

“Oh don’t worry. It’s just our slang for your order sir.”
<...

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As a kid I always insisted on having olive oil on my pasta instead of meat sauce.

Maybe that is why I am a virgin.

Best way to answer a call: Mario's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic: Your Loss is Our Sauce

self.Jokes

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

Stirring the Sauce

A sweet and innocent young Italian girl gets married, but the girl's mother lives downstairs. The girl has never made love to a man before, and on their wedding night, when he takes off his shirt, she goes running downstairs."Momma, Momma," she cries. "I can't believe it! He has hair all over his ch...

Eating Worcestershire sauce--

It's easier done than said

Mix Tabasco sauce with your hand sanitiser

It won't make it any more effective, but it will remind you not to touch your face and eyes.

What's the secret ingredient in Bruce Buffer's spaghetti sauce?

iiiiiiit's Thyme!!!

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I had to pull out my A1 sauce on someone.

They had beef.

What kind of pasta sauce does Trump LOVE!!!

Putin-esca

I made this up myself just now.

Historical Context on How to Pronounce the Sauce

Since we are talking about how to pronounce the sauce. I though I would give some historical context I was talk when I was younger.

In the 19th Century, 2 men in England created a new sauce. It was savory, and went well with potatoes and meats. The 2 men didn't know what to call this sauce, s...

Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco?

Por flavor

What's a skeletons favourite sauce?

Grave-y

I was super worried, but then someone shoved dough, cheese and sauce into my head.

Now I have pizza mind.

I asked the flight attendant what was in the spaghetti sauce

She said don't worry it's plane pasta.

Did you hear about the pasta sauce that was really good at knocking down pins?

It was a bowlin’ ace.

The local Ice Cream man was found dead on the floor of his van, covered in nuts, sprinkles and sauce.

The police think he topped himself.

Shout out to Taco Bell hot sauce packets

For teaching me how to flirt!

What is the best sauce to eat with duck?

Quackamole!

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What's sauce for the goose......

A family was at the dinner table when the son asked his father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answered, “Well, son, there are three kinds of boobs. In her 20s, a woman’s are like melons: round and firm. In her 30s, 40s, and 50s, they are like pears: still ni...

What happens when you add Cold hot sauce on Hot food?

you Chili things up.

What's Taco Bell's secret sauce recipe?

No idea, they keep it under wraps.

I'll show myself out.

What is Fonzi's favorite type of sauce?

Aaaaaaaaaioli

I taught my son about gravity by throwing pasta and sauce at the ceiling

He didn't get it at first, but it wasn't long before the penne dropped.

Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance?

The meatball

A woman covered in pasta sauce takes a pregnancy test

Turns out she's Prego

My mom used to put hot sauce on my fingernails to stop me from chewing them.

Now that’s the only way I can eat them :/

A truck carrying Worcestershire sauce overturns

Dispatcher: What seems to be the problem?

Officer: It's hard to say.

A study shows that eating 2oz of concentrated tomato sauce per day can keep a man's sperm count up

If you keep that up, your girlfriend just may get Prego.

Do you like hollandaise sauce?

Do you like hollandaise sauce? I love it. It put it on fish and chicken and vegetables. It's great.

But there is a lot of lemon juice in it, and I think it is causing some pitting on my dentures.

I went to my dentist. He said the pitting probably was from the hollandaise sauce and that...

I was caught up in an explosion at a sauce factory

It was traumatising, but I finally mustard up the courage to talk about it

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Have you ever use Taco Bell hot sauce as anal lube?

I hear that shit's fire.

What do you call a noble hot sauce?

Sir Racha.

McCheese with Royale sauce

"And ummmm, some curly fries with that."

"Sir this is McDonald's, our fries are all straight."

"Oh. Well then just a ummmmmm quesadilla then."

"Sir, this is still McDonald's. We don't serve quesadillas."

"Ahhhhh, ummmm, can I get a McCheese with Royale sauce?"

"....

What is a pregnant women's favorite sauce?

Prego

I found out my husband got fired from his job today. In order to cheer him up I got him his favorite soy sauce.

He said to me

"Oh I see. Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"

What do you call a pasta sauce made out of sea breezes?

A ‘marine’-‘air’a

A man walks into a diner, and orders eggs Benedict with hollandaise sauce, served on a hubcap.

The waiter, perplexed, asks him why. He responds:

“There’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise...”

what do you call 6.02 X 10^23 atoms of avocado dipping sauce?

one guacamole

Why is it easy to tell when you use the wrong sauce?

Heinz sight is 20 20

What is a redneck plumber's favorite dipping sauce?

...wranch

What do you call Arby's Barbeque sauce?

ARBYque sauce...

I'll see myself out the door lol~

What do you call a bad dream about sauce?

A nightmarinara.

If I have to hear any more jokes about soy sauce

I will Kikkoman!

Sorry, maybe I'll Shoyu a better joke Tamari.

I bought a spray used for destroying a particular pasta sauce.

It's a pestocide.

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

What’s a bumblebee’s favorite wing sauce?

Pollenesian

What is the bolt's favorite sauce?

Wrench dressing

What's the statisticians favorite sauce?

Tztatisiki

My wife asked why the spaghetti sauce tasted odd

I told her I didn't have the thyme to make it right.

What did the Chinese restaurant do when they ran out of soy sauce?

They cooked like there was no tamari.

Went out for sushi last night

And a guy spilled a whole bottle of soy sauce on himself. Everyone laughed except me. Don‘t Kikkoman when he’s down

A Mexican walks into a Chinese restaurant and picks up a bottle of black sauce and seeing the label...

...he exclaims "Yes. You are!"

Resubmitted for clarity.

Credit for original joke to u/TooShiftyForYou.

How does pizza sauce introduce itself at a fiesta?

Yo no soy marinara

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LPT: if you are lost in japan, ask for soy sauce

...it will shoyu the way

What's the most fearsome hot sauce, for vampires?

Buffy-lo sauce.

Whenever you're serving a dish with a hollandaise sauce, make sure to use a chrome plate.

Because there's no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.

One of my chefs at my culinary school told the class this one and we got out early because we couldn't stand to be in the room with him any more.

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Two men with Alzheimer’s at the bech

Edit: *Beach (haha)

....they are peckish and want some food.

The first man (Bob) says “Carl, do you want to buy us a couple of ice creams?”

Carl: Sure what do you want?

Bob: vanilla ice cream in a cone, a flake and chocolate sauce

Carl: Ok, I’ll be back now.
...

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

.. I'm only Peking.

"Look, I know I'm just a deep dish filled with dough, tomato sauce, and mozzarella cheese... But you should really reconnect with your father."

"Hey! That's a little personal, pan pizza!"

A blonde and brunette were in a local Walmart

A blonde and brunette were in a local Walmart when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
The brunette won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and ...

The European Commission

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-E...

How does Sean Connery ask for Worchestershire sauce? (x-post from askreddit)

Worsheshershershosh.

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Kinky sex

A man and a woman are sitting side by side at a bar getting really wasted. They both look really depressed.

The man asks the woman why she's so down and she replies, "My husband left me because he said I was too kinky in bed."

"What a conicidence" he said. "My wife just left me. ...

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