After weeks of preparation, I was ready to begin my trip across the world to Sydney.
I prepared my luggage, boarded the plane, and after 17 hours I was in Australia. I rented a car, drove a while, and at long last I saw a sign that said "SYDNEY LEFT". "Well shit," I said, so I packed up my stuff and went back home.
Preparations for parenthood.
Not sure you are prepared to be a parent, here are some tips to get you started.
Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a bathrobe and stick a giant beanbag chair down the front and leave it for 9 months. After the 9 months, empty out approximately 10-20% of the beans. <...
Preparations for parenthood - dressing and feeding.
New parents: feeding and dressing your toddler is not as easy a skill as it looks. It takes a lot of practice, so here are a couple tips to get you started.
To practice dressing a small child, first you need to get a string bag (like the kind you carry soccer balls). Then go to ...
Golf Course Encounter
A man, while playing on the front nine of a confusing golf course, became lost as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his predicament and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.
She replied, "I'm on the 7th ...
Brad and Mike are two old reti
Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship or personal affection. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and t...
A couple live outside Buffalo, and are used to the rhythms of preparing for large snows.
One of these preparations for many years has been tuning in to the local radio station at 6:00 the night before a storm for an important announcement.
On a typical pre-storm night, the wife would tune in just prior to 6 to hear a message about which side of the street cars were to be parked o...
Work has already begun in preparation for the 2028 Olympic Games in Los Angeles
Mostly by ISIS
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Have you heard about the man who dreamt he was packing his parachute in preparation for a jump?
His wife had to be rushed to the hospital with half of the bedsheets stuffed up her ass.
The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu
Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...
During a marriage preparation class, the teacher asked how many kissable areas there are on a woman's body
One guy said, "18."
A French guy in the back yelled, "119!"
Another guy said, "12."
The French guy piped up again, "119!"
A sweet girl in the front said, "I know only one...the lips!"
The French guy shouted, "120!"