A lime and fresh mint are being muddled in a glass
when the lime says to the mint "Im freezing we need to melt this ice!" The mint agreed so they shimmy the glass over to a ray of sunlight and the lime says "Do you think this is enough light to melt the ice?" And the mint says "Not bad." We need "Mo heat though."
You know when people muddle berries and preserve them with sugar?
That’s my jam.
A man awakes in his darkened bedroom to find his wife tugging at his elbow
A man awakes in his darkened bedroom to find his wife tugging at his elbow.
"Wha- ... what? What's wrong?" he says blearily. He can barely see her in the dimness.
"Honey ... if I were to die and you remarried ... would you sleep with her in our bed?" she asks him anxiously.
He t...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A German, a Frenchman, and a Irishman walk into a pub.
The pub was known for being a wee bit of a dive. Dirty, poor service, but the three men were poor and the drinks were always cheap. They welcomed themselves into the pub and sat at the bar.
Notoriously, the service was poor. The barkeep chatted with other bar patrons for a good long while bef...
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