Where did the mango go?

I don't know, the mango goes where the mangoes

I want to create a petition to switch the names of Mango and Coffee.

Because Coffee makes Man go

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A man walks into a bar and says he'll drink anything that has gin in it

The Bartender decides he wants to impress the man with something creative. He grabs some cold-pressed mango juice from the refrigerator, squeezes in the juice from a small lemon, adds some ginger ale, and garnishes it with rosemary and an orange twist. Finally he adds the gin.

As the man fini...

A man got arrested for selling tropical fruit on the side of the road

As I was walking by I told the police
“Hey that man is just trying to make a living. Let that mango”

New to the country, and not knowing a word of English, Con the Greek got a job at a fruit stand.

The manager told him:

"Look, there are only 3 phrases you need to know:"

If they say "How much are the mangoes?" You say "$5 a kilo"

If they ask if they're ripe, you say "Some are, some aren't"

If they say they don't want to buy, you shrug and say "If you don't, someone e...

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The Mango Slicer

Pedro worked in a fine Goan pickle factory.

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the mango slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Pedro to go ahe...

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The inmates of an asylum are playing a game called "ripe mango"

It consists of the inmates climbing a tree in the facility and yelling "ripe mango", before letting go and falling to the ground. The director of the asylum passes by and chuckes and one of the inmates calls him to play.

The director, just to indulge them, climbs the tree but yells "unripe m...

Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes,

you need to let that mango.

Why did the mango flop on the floor

Because he was depressed

What's the opposite of mangoes?

Woman comes.

I asked an old couple for relationship tips and the wife said "tell him a fruit joke..."

And if he doesn't appreciate fruit jokes you need to let that mango.

What does someone who ate 4 mangoes say?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is mango number 5!

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A young man is in need of a job,

And he looks through the classifieds to see what's available. He finds an ad from a farmer in need of some extra hands, so the man calls up the farmer and agrees to meet the next day to see what work he'd be doing.

The farmer greets him at the gate and begins to show the young man around. Fir...

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Indian Jews

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in an Indian restaurant in New York. Sid asked Al, 'Are there any Jewish people of our faith born and raised in India?'

Al replied, 'I don't know, let's just ask our waiter.'

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, 'Are there any Indian Jews?'...

A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango

They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

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My Wife's vagina tastes like a tropical fruit.

She'll let any mango in there.

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Knock knock

who's there

mango

mango who?

mango fuck yourself

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[Long] [NSFW] One warm autumn day,

A man walks into the patent office and slams a stack of papers down triumphantly. "I've bred apples that taste like different fruits, and furthermore, each half of an apple tastes different!"

The patent clerk looks up in boredom, "Sure, sure... But I need to verify the truthfulness of this cl...

There was 3 boys living with their grandfather deep in an Asian jungle.

One day, their grandfather asked them to accompany the grouchy old lady that lived nearby them while she walked out to town. Before they left, their grandfather said, "Behave and remember all that I have have taught you."

As they walked the old lady nagged and nagged. She complained about eve...

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

He asks for a coke and a mango juice for his newt Tiny.

The bartender asks “Why is he called Tiny?”

And the man replies “Because he’s my newt!”

Monkey sees Elephant climbing a banana tree.

Confused, Monkey calls out to Elephant, "Hey, Elephant, why are you climbing that tree?"

Elephant says, "I'm going to eat me a mango!"

Monkey responds, "But that isn't a mango tree!?!"

Elephant says, "Don't worry about it, I brought my own."

A guy kept trying to sell me fruits

I told him Mango

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Some nsfw funnies I remembered

1)

There was a dad whose response was very odd to stuff asked by his son.

S: Can I ride my bike to school?

D: Does your dick touch your asshole?

S: No

D: Well there's your answer

So on and so forth, "Can I date girls?", "Can I smoke?", "Can I skip school tod...

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My uncle once told me to go to the basement and get Naked,

I asked him whether he wanted Mighty Mango or Berry Blast.

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John, Jack and Jeff visit the queen with gifts...

... John has got an orange. The queen gets mad. Tells the guards to shove the orange up John’s arse.

Next, Jack comes up to the queen with a banana. Queen gets furious. Shoves the banana up his arse.

Then Jeff comes with a mango. Queen is mad again. Up goes the mango in Jeff’s arse....

I found a recipe for a fruit curry that I wanted to try out.

I made a list of all the ingredients that I needed and headed to the shop. I picked up some rice, some mango chutney, some curry powder and some raisins.

Upon returning I checked my list again to make sure that I had gotten everything that I needed. To my dismay, the recipe had called for sul...

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Magician: For my next trick, I will disappear.

Magician: Fuck you pear! Mangoes taste much better than you!

What do you call a Scottish girl with a fake tan in an Indian restaurant?

A mango lassie

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The cautious monkey.

Well, this guy gone to the zoo and he see some monkey in a cage, and a sign that say "don't feed the monkey". Butt he so want to feed the monkey. Sohe throw in a peanut. The monkey pick up the peanut and stick it in it's butt and pull it out and eat it.....The guy can't believe what he see. He throw...

My wife is on a tropical food diet and the house if full of the stuff...

It's enough to make a mango crazy.

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Meanwhile, in a different part of the Jingle....

...a lizard is walking along when he smells marijuana smoke. Having a good sense of smell, and not a stranger to the occasional toke, he follows it to the source and comes to the base of a truly mighty tree. High up in the branches is a monkey smoking a joint.

"Hey monkey" he yells.

T...

What is a recently divorced woman's favorite fruit?

Mango!

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