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The Mango Slicer

Pedro worked in a fine Goan pickle factory.

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the mango slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up. He advised Pedro to go ahe...

Where did the mango go?

I don't know, the mango goes where the mangoes

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Knock knock

who's there

mango

mango who?

mango fuck yourself

Why did the mango flop on the floor

Because he was depressed

What does someone who ate 4 mangoes say?

Ladies and gentlemen, this is mango number 5!

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My Wife's vagina tastes like a tropical fruit.

She'll let any mango in there.

A major detergent manufacturer is to release a new range of fruit scents, including apple, tomato, orange, banana and mango

They're going to call it "Tide Pods - Natural Selection"

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Put to sleep

So this inquisitive pan-dimensional space monster is out on vacation and decides to check out this little dive bar on Earth (in Detroit) that had some decent reviews on Yelp.

In order to do so he had to first take on a suitable corporal form adhering to local biological esthetics and so he c...

A guy kept trying to sell me fruits

I told him Mango

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Indian Jews

Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in an Indian restaurant in New York. Sid asked Al, 'Are there any Jewish people of our faith born and raised in India?'

Al replied, 'I don't know, let's just ask our waiter.'

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, 'Are there any Indian Jews?'...

Monkey sees Elephant climbing a banana tree.

Confused, Monkey calls out to Elephant, "Hey, Elephant, why are you climbing that tree?"

Elephant says, "I'm going to eat me a mango!"

Monkey responds, "But that isn't a mango tree!?!"

Elephant says, "Don't worry about it, I brought my own."

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[Long] [NSFW] One warm autumn day,

A man walks into the patent office and slams a stack of papers down triumphantly. "I've bred apples that taste like different fruits, and furthermore, each half of an apple tastes different!"

The patent clerk looks up in boredom, "Sure, sure... But I need to verify the truthfulness of this cl...

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

He asks for a coke and a mango juice for his newt Tiny.

The bartender asks “Why is he called Tiny?”

And the man replies “Because he’s my newt!”

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Some nsfw funnies I remembered

1)

There was a dad whose response was very odd to stuff asked by his son.

S: Can I ride my bike to school?

D: Does your dick touch your asshole?

S: No

D: Well there's your answer

So on and so forth, "Can I date girls?", "Can I smoke?", "Can I skip school tod...

Girlfriend, if he don't appreciate fruit puns...

You need to let that mango.

I found a recipe for a fruit curry that I wanted to try out.

I made a list of all the ingredients that I needed and headed to the shop. I picked up some rice, some mango chutney, some curry powder and some raisins.

Upon returning I checked my list again to make sure that I had gotten everything that I needed. To my dismay, the recipe had called for sul...

What do you call a Scottish girl with a fake tan in an Indian restaurant?

A mango lassie

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My uncle once told me to go to the basement and get Naked,

I asked him whether he wanted Mighty Mango or Berry Blast.

My wife is on a tropical food diet and the house if full of the stuff...

It's enough to make a mango crazy.

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A man walks into a grocery store

He asks the employee "Do you have any mango yogurt?" The employee promptly replies "No, we don't." and the man walks out.
Next day, the man walks into the store again and asks the employee "Do you have any mango yogurt?" The employee says "I'm sorry, we don't have any. I don't think we ever will....

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John, Jack and Jeff visit the queen with gifts...

... John has got an orange. The queen gets mad. Tells the guards to shove the orange up John’s arse.

Next, Jack comes up to the queen with a banana. Queen gets furious. Shoves the banana up his arse.

Then Jeff comes with a mango. Queen is mad again. Up goes the mango in Jeff’s arse....

What is a recently divorced woman's favorite fruit?

Mango!

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The cautious monkey.

Well, this guy gone to the zoo and he see some monkey in a cage, and a sign that say "don't feed the monkey". Butt he so want to feed the monkey. Sohe throw in a peanut. The monkey pick up the peanut and stick it in it's butt and pull it out and eat it.....The guy can't believe what he see. He throw...

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Meanwhile, in a different part of the Jingle....

...a lizard is walking along when he smells marijuana smoke. Having a good sense of smell, and not a stranger to the occasional toke, he follows it to the source and comes to the base of a truly mighty tree. High up in the branches is a monkey smoking a joint.

"Hey monkey" he yells.

T...

What do you get when you cross an Indian smoothie with a rescue dog?

Mango Lassie

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Your Favorite Fruit

There were three young men who were travelling across the country in their car. One was white, one was Mexican and one was black. When they were in the deep south, their car broke down, and it was already dark. They walked along the road for miles when they came upon a farm. They knocked on the door...

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