Vinegar Jokes - 24 Hilarious Vinegar Jokes

If you don't like vinegar, but you use it anyway...

You'll have...... vinaigrette.

Today in my chemistry lab, the teacher asked a kid to add 4 grams of baking soda to an ounce of vinegar. The instead added 4 ounces of baking soda to a pound of vinegar.

It was mass confusion.

what is an Arabic ruler's favorite flavor of potato chips?

Sultan vinegar.

Listen kids! Never ever combine bleach and vinegar.

It is an oxidant waiting to happen.

Poor Mr. Vinegar, he can’t catch a break.

Every time he turns around, he’s in a pickle!

A truck carrying olive oil crashed into a truck carrying red wine vinegar, inside a nudist camp

First responders reported that everyone nearby was well dressed

What’s your favorite preservative salt, vinegar, lemon?

Mine’s embalming fluid.

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The Challenge []

A man walks into a bar, reaching the counter a sign hangs above the bar stating, “Complete The Challenge and Win Free Alcohol for Life!” Intrigued by this the man asks the bartender what exactly is the challenge. “Well first off you have to drink a gallon of apple cider vinegar, second we keep a gat...

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An elderly woman told me "You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.", Because I was being a little too rude...

I told her "You get more flies with than with honey, so ."

I have the best six pack out there

2 x Salt and Vinegar
2 x Ready Salted
2 x Cheese and Onion

A rich Arabian business man brought all the chip shops in the UK

He was Sultan vinegar

The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles as a fund raiser. One ambitious but nervous young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced woman came to the door:

She: "What do you want, Sonny?"

He: "D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?"

She: "Well! Do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?"

He: "S-s-sorry, Ma'am ... W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"

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Murphy’s law is about bad luck, Godwin’s law is about Hitler, and ColesLaw is...

Finely sliced cabbage, with a vinegar or mayonnaise based dressing

On a night out, a man finds himself in a bar where a local band is performing.

During the performance he comes across a woman who introduces herself as Teri Campbell. After a bit of flirting, they find themselves up against an amplifier, getting a bit spicy. Now he’d never told anyone before, but he had a fetish for vinegar. Anything with vinegar, it could be pickles, brown sa...

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer

Get a large jar, place the duck in it and fill it up with vinegar. Then wait until it’s Bill Withers.

Time flies like an arrow

But fruit flies like vinegar.

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I went to the doctor... ()

...and I said "I had a bit of a fall in my kitchen, and as embarrassing as this is, I've got my & balls stuck in a jar of vinegar."

"Any pain?" said the doctor.

"A slight pickling sensation..."

A spill

While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dro...

Big truck accident

A large truck was hauling water. Next thing I know, a truck hauling vinegar smashed into the water truck. It was very loud, all I could hear was a large *douche*!

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This may be why Teachers retire early or turn to drinking: the following questions were in a (UK) GED (grade 12 equivalent) examination (they are genuine answers):

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. In a democratic society, how impor...

My girlfriend said she wanted to experiment more in the bedroom...

I don't know why she got so mad when I put my baking soda and vinegar volcano next to the nightstand.

What do you call a half black half Vietnamese guy?

A Vinegar.

This guy was sitting at a bar....

getting sloshed when in comes a fedora wearing hipster.

As luck would have it the hipster sits next to the drunk. The drunk looks at him and says:

"Sit somewhere else, ya douche-bag!"

The bartender slapped the bar in front of the drunk and said:

"That's not tolerated her...

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Women are like Wine

(I've submitted this one to another thread before, let's see how it goes here)

A man sits in his study, a book in his hand and a full glass of inky cabernet by his side. There's a sheepish knock at the door. "Come in," the man says without lifting his eyes from the page.

The door crea...

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