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Meats Jokes

What do you cal halal cured meats?

Salaami

Why is a kitty who eats only lunch meats the most fragile?

Because it’s deli-cat

Why don’t vampires just eat juicy meats full of blood?

Too much cholesterol can get them a steak through the heart.

(Credit to u/down_vote_magnet for the punchline of this joke)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I know what Ancient Meats and Vegetables tastes like.

*spits gasoline out*
Fucking bad.

We've got the meats

If meat and seafood is surf and turf, does that make meat seafood and poultry surf turf and away?

I used to sell THC infused meats.

It was a high-steaks job.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm addicted to deli meats

The worst part is my therapist keeps recommending cold turkey

I recently heard that you can get salmonella from eating raw meats

Guess I gotta quit cold turkey

I've got a terrible addiction, I can't stop eating deli meats.

I'm trying to quit cold turkey.

My family is getting worried about my consumption of deli meats, and I'm not sure what to do...

They're trying to pressure me into quitting cold turkey!

I don't get this new hype around synthetic meats.

I mean, why are we re-inventing the veal?

You know, people tell me organ meat is offal...

But personally I think German meats are the wurst.

Why do people nickname Cersei's kids after sandwich meats?

Because they're both in bread

She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."

I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."

I was addicted to lunch meats, but I quit cold turkey.

I'm still hooked on salami and roast beef though.

So, a three guys are working with imported meats

The team gets three crates. One of French steaks, but the best before was yesterday. One of English pork ribs: best before a week ago. And one of Germain snags: best before a month ago. They draw straws to work out who has to deal with which meats. The longest straw gets the steak crate, the middle ...

On my cake day, I went to the Doctor and was told that my love of deli meats was going to kill me.

I had to quit cold turkey.

I’ve decided to put an end to my addiction to deli meats.

I’m quitting cold turkey.

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