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Everyone knows that venison is deer meat

Few know of Vanison, which is what happens when your deer is hit by a van...

and still fewer know about Vennison which shares qualities with both.

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The teacher brings some venison to school..

She says “this is a different meat, it’s something your mom calls your dad…”

A voice from the back screams “don’t eat it it’s asshole!!”

Just been offered 8 legs of venison for £70.

Is that two deer?

Cooking steak...

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.
The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for t...

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I'm a hunter, and I shot a deer that was on my neighbor's property.

My neighbor came out at the sound of the gunshot and saw the deer. It was clean kill, and the animal was perfect for venison. As I ran up to retrieve it, my neighbor met me there.

"Hey, this deer is mine" he shouted as I approached him.

"No, it's mine. I killed it!" I responded back.<...

I bought a new gadget: you put venison in the top, turn the handle, and it comes out as pheasant

It's a real game changer...

I bought a venison steak the other day

The butcher told me that when it was alive it couldn't see. I asked him why and he replied...

"No idea"

What do you call a "Sloppy Joe" sandwich made of venison?

Sloppy Doe.

I over boiled some venison broth earlier...

It was deerly mist.

Three men approach a wishing well one after another

The first, wishes to have one million bucks. Instantly, he is now in ownership of one million wild deer. He sets up a venison business and makes millions

The second wishes for his ex-wife to fall for him again. She instantly trips while thinking about him, and on the way to the hospital, he m...

Venison

This evening, some bloke approached me outside the pub and offered to sell me 8 legs of venison for £200. I thought, is that too dear?

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Dad cooks venison and doesn't tell the kids what it is

He gives them one hint:

"It's what your mother calls me"

The boy yells:

"It's a FUCKING DICK! Don't eat it!"

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It's 1845 and a man travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. (LONG)

It's 1845 and Jacob travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. After hard work, he has a log cabin built and pulls a brass bell from a steamer trunk they brought with them.

His wife, Sara, is bemused, asking what the bell is for. As the man proceeds to hang it from the eaves just in...

A man starts a line of pickled venison ...

...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe.

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This message is for those who appreciate the finer points of the English language

His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain."


...

Best Salesman of the year

At a sales conference, one of the awards went to Matthew for best salesman. He’d sold a record quantity of mouthwash. After he’d been presented with his award, he was asked for the secret of his success.

“Oh it’s simple really,” said Matthew. “I set up a mobile stall during rush-hour and give...

Did you hear that Bon Jovi got food poisoning after eating that deer?

I guess you could say he had some “Bad Venison”

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Three friends went hunting in the woods.

After not seeing any deer for several hours, they decided to split up, hoping that at least one of them would be able to bag some venison. They agreed that if anyone shot a deer, he would shoot three times in the air so the others could come help with the carcass.

Some time passed, and one of...

How do deer get revenge?

By giving each other a taste of their own venison

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A hunter brings home a deer he shot, and is preparing it for dinner.

His small kids ask what kind of meat they are going to eat, but he won't tell them - because they are picky eaters. The kids eat the venison, but keep asking him throughout dinner what it is, and he won't tell them.

When they are nearly finished, his daughter asks again, and this time the gu...

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