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Venison Jokes

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The teacher brings some venison to school..

She says “this is a different meat, it’s something your mom calls your dad…”

A voice from the back screams “don’t eat it it’s asshole!!”

I need some advice. I’ve just been offered 8 legs of venison for $50.

Is that two deer?

Everyone knows that venison is deer meat

Few know of Vanison, which is what happens when your deer is hit by a van...

and still fewer know about Vennison which shares qualities with both.

Late Lent/Easter Joke

Eino, a Finn from Cook County in northern Minnesota, was an older, single gentleman who was born and raised a Lutheran. Each Friday night after work, he would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak.

Now, all of Eino’s neighbors were Catholic…..and since it was Lent, they were forb...

What do you call a "Sloppy Joe" sandwich made of venison?

Sloppy Doe.

I over boiled some venison broth earlier...

It was deerly mist.

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Dad cooks venison and doesn't tell the kids what it is

He gives them one hint:

"It's what your mother calls me"

The boy yells:

"It's a FUCKING DICK! Don't eat it!"

A man starts a line of pickled venison ...

...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe.

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This message is for those who appreciate the finer points of the English language

His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain."


...

I bought a new gadget: you put venison in the top, turn the handle, and it comes out as pheasant

It's a real game changer...

Three men approach a wishing well one after another

The first, wishes to have one million bucks. Instantly, he is now in ownership of one million wild deer. He sets up a venison business and makes millions

The second wishes for his ex-wife to fall for him again. She instantly trips while thinking about him, and on the way to the hospital, he m...

Did you hear that Bon Jovi got food poisoning after eating that deer?

I guess you could say he had some “Bad Venison”

How do deer get revenge?

By giving each other a taste of their own venison

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Skin Doctor

A dim man looks at some horribly swollen red and rashy skin on his leg and says to his friend "This looks really bad. I need to find a skin Doctor but I can't read." His friend says "Ok i have this phonebook but I can't read either. I know it's derma or something like that." They find the doctor in ...

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I'm a hunter, and I shot a deer that was on my neighbor's property.

My neighbor came out at the sound of the gunshot and saw the deer. It was clean kill, and the animal was perfect for venison. As I ran up to retrieve it, my neighbor met me there.

"Hey, this deer is mine" he shouted as I approached him.

"No, it's mine. I killed it!" I responded back.<...

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A hunter brings home a deer he shot, and is preparing it for dinner.

His small kids ask what kind of meat they are going to eat, but he won't tell them - because they are picky eaters. The kids eat the venison, but keep asking him throughout dinner what it is, and he won't tell them.

When they are nearly finished, his daughter asks again, and this time the gu...

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It's 1845 and a man travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. (LONG)

It's 1845 and Jacob travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. After hard work, he has a log cabin built and pulls a brass bell from a steamer trunk they brought with them.

His wife, Sara, is bemused, asking what the bell is for. As the man proceeds to hang it from the eaves just in...

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Three friends went hunting in the woods.

After not seeing any deer for several hours, they decided to split up, hoping that at least one of them would be able to bag some venison. They agreed that if anyone shot a deer, he would shoot three times in the air so the others could come help with the carcass.

Some time passed, and one of...

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