I saw 8 legs of venison at the store for $200

But thought that’s two deer

I bought a venison steak the other day

The butcher told me that when it was alive it couldn't see. I asked him why and he replied...

"No idea"

I bought a new gadget: you put venison in the top, turn the handle, and it comes out as pheasant

It's a real game changer...

What do you call a "Sloppy Joe" sandwich made of venison?

Sloppy Doe.

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It's 1845 and a man travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. (LONG)

It's 1845 and Jacob travels to Montana with his wife and son to settle. After hard work, he has a log cabin built and pulls a brass bell from a steamer trunk they brought with them.

His wife, Sara, is bemused, asking what the bell is for. As the man proceeds to hang it from the eaves just in...

I over boiled some venison broth earlier...

It was deerly mist.

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Dad cooks venison and doesn't tell the kids what it is

He gives them one hint:

"It's what your mother calls me"

The boy yells:

"It's a FUCKING DICK! Don't eat it!"

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Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill

and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. Th...

Venison

This evening, some bloke approached me outside the pub and offered to sell me 8 legs of venison for £200. I thought, is that too dear?

A man starts a line of pickled venison ...

...the most popular flavor so far is dill doe.

A friend of mine is selling pretzels made from venison if anyone is interested.

Don't worry about the price. It's knot deer.

Ya'll seem to like puns, so:

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Tita...

Best Salesman of the year

At a sales conference, one of the awards went to Matthew for best salesman. He’d sold a record quantity of mouthwash. After he’d been presented with his award, he was asked for the secret of his success.

“Oh it’s simple really,” said Matthew. “I set up a mobile stall during rush-hour and give...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was invited to a party full of vegans, but I wasn't there for very long.

We all sat down on the floor. Somebody brought out Monopoly, Frustration, Scrabble, Chess, Risk, Uno, Checkers, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit and Connect Four.

Everybody in the room suddenly turned to me. The guy that had brought in all these games said, "So, which one shall we play?"

"Erm,...

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This message is for those who appreciate the finer points of the English language

His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

"Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

"I am doing the crossword in The Times and found a word the exact meaning of which I am not too certain."


...

Did you hear that Bon Jovi got food poisoning after eating that deer?

I guess you could say he had some “Bad Venison”

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Three friends went hunting in the woods.

After not seeing any deer for several hours, they decided to split up, hoping that at least one of them would be able to bag some venison. They agreed that if anyone shot a deer, he would shoot three times in the air so the others could come help with the carcass.

Some time passed, and one of...

How do deer get revenge?

By giving each other a taste of their own venison

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunter brings home a deer he shot, and is preparing it for dinner.

His small kids ask what kind of meat they are going to eat, but he won't tell them - because they are picky eaters. The kids eat the venison, but keep asking him throughout dinner what it is, and he won't tell them.

When they are nearly finished, his daughter asks again, and this time the gu...

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