R Kelly is really changing the rap game

He takes the art out of rap artist

The anti-vaxx basketball team lost every game this season

Apparently they never take any shots.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Game of thrones spoiler!!!!

Now that all the nerds aren't paying attention, party at my house this Saturday.

My wife just accused me of having never achieved anything in life because of my addiction to board games.

I think she must have forgotten that time I won second prize in a beauty contest. . .

I was playing video games last night while my son was sitting next to me watching. He said, "dad I wish real life was more like video games."

So I locked him in his room and told him if he wants access to the rest of the house he will have to pay .99 for the DLC.

This cancer game is easy

i'm already on stage 4

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How can you tell if someone has never seen Game of Thrones?

They'll fucking tell you.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...

I was bloody and sore, but at least my dad came.

What is Hitler's favourite game?

Mein Kraft

Girlfriend's first football game.

A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it,” she replied. “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles. But I just couldn’t un...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

For me, sex is only a game.

In single-player mode.

My fecalpheliac neighbor invited me over to play some board games.

Turns out I've been playing scattegories wrong my whole life.

Hitler had a game show.

He called it the amazing race.

John and his buddy Dave are watching the game while their wives are chatting in the kitchen.

During a commercial break John mentions that he and his wife went to very nice restaurant the other day.

"That's nice, what was it called?" asks Dave

"I can't remember... What's the name of that flower?" says John

"Violet" Dave guesses

"no, the red one" says John

"...

It's my cakeday, so figured I'd tell this joke (game grumps told this joke)

What is a Jedi's Favourite Italian dessert...

OBI WAN CANOLI

What game do unvaccinated kids play?

Marco Polio.

Looking to play a game of D&D. If anyone is interested, please

DM me

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How is sex like a game of bridge?

If you have a good hand, you don’t need a partner.

Boy: "Let's play firetruck game. I will move my hand up your leg till you say RED LIGHT" -Girl: "RED LIGHT"

Boy: "Firetrucks don't stop at red lights"

What is Hitler's favorite video game?

Meincraft.

[OC] Life is like a game of Tetris...

When you fit in, you disappear

If video games make children more violent...

why do they keep losing fistfights against me?

What did our parents do when they were bored back in the days before the internet or video games?

I asked this question to my 24 brothers and sisters too...

What does a communist say after they rage quit a video game?

I don’t know either, but they’ll probably be uninStalin the game.

What is the longest game of Deal or No Deal?

Brexit.

Strip poker is the only game where the more you lose...

...the more you have to show for it.

What is Joe Biden's favorite game?

Space Invader

For PC games, the harder you click the more damage you do.

I need to replace my mouse.

Telltale Games will shut down...

*Fans will remember that*

Valve shows the public a new game, Half-Life 3.

A fan of the series sees Gabe Newell, Valve's co-founder, and walks up to him.
"Hey, Mr. Newell, how did you do it? You actually made another Half-Life game!" the fan says.
"Well 15 percent was creating it, and 5 percent was thinking up the story." Gabe replies.

Confused, the fan as...

I broke up with my video game console, now it's my ex-box

Nothing personal, it was just time for a switch

What do they call The Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with cheese.

What’s Owen Wilson’s favourite Role Playing Game?

WoW

What is a German breads favourite game?

Gluten tag

What is jekyll's favorite game?

Hyde and seek

The government swore to shut down Fortnite due to claims of the video game aggravating children and teens worldwide.

Two weeks later, Fortnight was finished.

What's an Indians favorite game?

Hide and Sikh

What's the difference between a video game console and a glue factory

One's a Sony Playstation and the other's a pony slaystation.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Watching games I want to play on YouTube is like watching porn.

I can’t afford it in real life, so I just watch somebody else do it on the internet.

A coach is looking after a young ice hockey team

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play toge...

What do you call a board game for furries?

Trivial Fursuit

A drunk man borrows and loses his partner's prosthetic leg in a game of roulette in Las Vegas while she's asleep in their room. When she wakes up in the morning she is furious and sends him down to the tables to win it back...

..the man, now sober, is absolutely determined to make up for his sordid late night misdeed, and immediately challenges the casino to win back the prosthetic leg.

For the whole next day he is at the table, losing pile after pile of chips, thousands and thousands of dollars at a time.

...

I just can't say no to a game of scrabble.

Resistance is a few tiles.

1 and 20 played a game together

21

America is like a game of chess.

Black always goes second.

Theresa May to host new game show!

Neither Deal Nor No Deal

My friend lost his board game.

He's asking me to investigate, but then suspected me.

One thing for sure, I have no Clue.

Complex numbers are all fun and games

Until someone loses an i. That's when things get real

A submarine-golf game would be...

sub-par

My buddy told me his least favourite season of Game of Thrones was season 5.

Shame.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I like to think of the act of pooping like a game of poker

You go all in with a royal flush.

Are you guys interested in going out? Maybe getting some drinks? Hanging out? Playing games?

Asking for a friend.

I got a medal for jumping over a video game shelf.....

They said I went above and beyond the Call of Duty.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man and his wife were at a baseball game a couple of States over.

The man after buying her a bag of peanuts realized he had no more money for a hotel room or gas to get home.

He looks at his wife and says, " I have no money, your going to have to sell your body tonight in order for us to get home!"

She said, " Alright, I'll be back in 3 hours."
...

God and Jesus are playing a game on their PlayStations.

God and Jesus are playing a game on their PlayStations. Jesus gets a text from Lucifer that he wants to join them online. Jesus asks God if that's okay. God knows that it won't work because Lucifer plays on X-box.

He tells Jesus that Lucifer isn't cross-compatible.

What do Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Spider-Man all have in common?

They’re more realistic than The Bachelor.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Ever heard about the guy who had a fetish for broken buttons on video game controllers?

He got off to a bad start.

I watched all of Game of Thrones back to back with the girlfriend,

Fortunately I was the one facing the TV.

Somebody says video games don't have any impact on your psyche. I can't agree with that.

My Ex-girlfriend played Tetris a lot in her childhood.

​

She's still waiting for a long stick.

I almost got caught stealing a board game today...

But it was a Risk I was willing to take

If Game of Thrones teaches us anything it is that Mexico should build the wall.

Whingers are coming.

A man and his wife play petty games with each other regularly in order to one-up the other.

One morning his wife wakes him up hollering "I'm so much better than you that I even beat you at getting up in the morning".

This continued for some time, as his wife woke him up early and continuously drove home how better than him she was.

One day when he left for work his friend, wh...

Game Show

Some folks see me as a know-it-all. I'm not, but I have a reasonable memory, and it got me on a game show, once.

The television game show was being recorded - they do a whole week at a time, and this was the wrap-up. I was in the hot seat for the last big question.

The host turned to m...

I am creating a video game about a bear and bird that hire a prostitute and then don't pay her.

I'm calling it "Banjo-Kazooie Nuts and Bolts"

What do Slovakians say when they win a game of chess?

"Czech mate"

Why are there no video games based around Jesus?

Because he takes 3 days to respawn.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I get anxious when I watch “Game of Thrones” with my parents, because of all the sex.

Sometimes I turn the volume up, so that I don’t hear them.

Work has already begun in preparation for the 2028 Olympic Games in Los Angeles

Mostly by ISIS

I got a chance to play the new Pokemon game set in London

but the pokemon only knew Acid Splash, Cut, and SelfDestruct

Why doesn't Mexico host the Olympic games?

All the good runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the US.

So, a guy is at the Superbowl championship game when he notices the seat next to his is empty.

He finds this very odd but forgets about it quickly. A little bit later he notices that the seat is still empty. He tries to forget about it and focus on the game. An empty seat at the Superbowl is just too weird though. He then asks the guy in the seat two seats over if he knows what's up with the ...

So, after winning the ball game, I decided to throw a ball into the crowd like I've seen pro baseball players on TV do

Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling.

A blonde goes onto a game show.

The game show goes something like this: There are 3 contestants and 100 jokes that the host tells. Once a contestant laughs at one of the jokes, they are out. If one of the contestants gets through all 100 jokes without laugh, they win a million dollars.

So the 3 contestants are a blonde, a b...

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

What's a North Korean's Favourite Card Game?

Kim Jong Uno

My girlfriend left me because she said I talk about video games too much....

I told her that's a dumb reason to Fallout 4.

Kid from The Sixth Sense asked to comment on Game Of Thrones and he described it with one sentence.

"Icey dead people"

I just invented a new drinking game!

Every time one of my family mentions “It’s ruining your life” I take a shot.

Which game does Dr Jekyll play best?

Hyde and seek

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A British woman was touring the United States, and decided to go to a baseball game

She didn't understand the rules, but figured she could learn them by watching everyone else.

In the first inning, a batter hit a grounder and started running to first base. The man seated next to the woman jumped to his feet and shouted, "Run, you sunnuvabitch, run!"

A couple of innin...

Jerry Seinfeld at a Poker game:

“What’s the deal?”

I hinted to my friend that if he wanted to improve his billiards game, he should get better equipment...

...sadly, he took my cue.

I love strategy games

They are fan-tactic

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My girlfriend said she wanted to have sex on her period because the orgasms are more intense. I said I was game for that.

Now we just have to wait a couple of years for her to have one.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
...

I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

what game did adolph hitler buy his kid?

mein kraft

I heard a rumor that the next Legend of Zelda game is to be set in a Hyrule version of Spain. No one believes me

They don’t expect a Spanish Link decision

At the Duke game zion Williamson's Nike shoe exploded and they lost the game

I guess that was a blowout :/

My girlfriend and I play this game...

where I try to steal her underwear and take them home without her catching me. I'm definitely winning because I've never gotten caught. In her defense, though, I don't think she knows that we're playing.

I played a cool video game with some really hammered dudes,

We were Super Smashed Bros.

Shakespeare loved to play video games...

His favorite was Sonnet the hedgehog

I was investing in Monopoly games

Until I realized that there is no real money in them

What game was Stalin playing on his computer?

Oursweeper

A game warden catches an unlicensed fisherman in the act.

"You're going to pay a big fine for all those fish in your bucket"

But, officer, I didn't catch these -- they are my pet fish and I just bring them here to swim. When they're done they jump back into the bucket.

"Oh really? This I've got to see. If you can prove it, I'll let you go."...

What’s a pirates favorite video game?

**DDRRR**

No it’s not 2004 and I’ll see myself out.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My girlfriend didn’t want to have sex while we watched Game of Thrones.

So I just gave her a little finger.

What makes LGBT game characters unique from other characters?

they don’t shoot in a straight line

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Golden State Warriors flew to Jamaica to play an exhibition game against a local team.

The Warriors kept on losing the ball and missing easy shots. Kerr, the Warriors' coach was furious, but the players said that the balls were too small, and kept slipping out of their hands.

​

By the end of the half, they were down by 20 points, with Steph Curry, the Warri...

Sony came up with a game software that switches between games in your library when it sees you are losing interest in the one you are playing

It's a game changer.

A guy gets home late, his wife says where have you been it's 3.00am Guy says I had some games of Poker, Wife said get out of my house, Guy replies Oh forgot to say..

It's not your house anymore either.

The president of the US and the prime minster of the UK are going to play a game of setback.

Trump may trump May but May may trump Trump.

What game does Homer Simpson always lose?

Tic Tac Doh!

Your at a football game and two quarters go by

You see a marching band go out to perform

In a quick 30 seconds they make a T and a I and they run off the field.

You ask the band director, "why did you only spell out T and I?"

The band director replies, "it's a half time show, is it not?"

Metro: Exodus is the 3rd game in the Metro series.

No wonder its not releasing on Steam.

What's Thanos' favourite game? [OC]

Half Life.

Why did they stop the leper hockey game?

There was a face off.

What's the difference between the Game of Thrones books and a Chinese newspaper?

To understand everything in a Chinese newspaper you only need to know about 3,000 characters.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.'

So...

What's the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?

In a hockey game, the fights are real.

A guy was watching the game, drinking a few beers and popping beer nuts into his mouth, when his wife began yelling at him. He turned his head toward her and accidentally popped a beer nut into his ear.

Both him and his wife tried and tried but neither could get it out. All right she said, lets get you to the hospital. As they walked outside their daughter and her boyfriend walked up and she asked, where are you and dad going. The mother said, we're off to the hospital, your father has a beer nut c...