UPJOKE
playcomputer gametennisbaseballgameypitchcompetitionparty gamepinballcard gamebasketballboard gamefootballspiritedstake

What's a cannibals favorite game?

Swallow the leader

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I like my sex life like how I like my video games

Single player

The poker game

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.

When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Les' wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!

Shocked by this, Jim, upon trying to sit back up again, hit...

Do you remember this horror game?

I think it’s called Amnesia but I can’t remember.

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A guy walks with two bags in his hands. One of them is torn and 20$ bills are slipping out.

Someone stops him and ask:
- Why is there so much money in your bag?
- When there is a sport game in town, I hide in the bushes nearby and when someone goes to take a piss, I say “Give me 20$ or I cut it off!”
- Ok, and what’s in the other bag?
- Well, not everyone pays…

Did you know that Wordle comes with a free bonus game?

It's called "Try To Remember What Today's Word Was".

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Russian elementary school assignmen: "please tell us an anecdote that demonstrates the kindness of our great leader Putin"

On the due date, the teacher has some students stand up and read their assignments in front of the class.

Little Igor goes first : "one day President Putin was walking down the street when he noticed a crying little girl. He asked what was troubling her, and she told him that her cat went up ...

Chuck Norris, Zelensky, and God all walk into a bar.

The Bartender looks up, "Were were just about to start a new drinking game I've been working on. I call out a bragging point, and each one willing to meet it, chugs their drink. The last man standing due to matching every post and surviving every drink, gets the pot. Everyone else has to split the t...

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A Duck Hunter gets stopped by a Game Warden

The Warden picks up a duck from his sack, sticks his finger in his butt then sniffs it, and says, "This duck is from Mississippi. You gotta license to hunt duck in Mississippi, son?" Yes Sir yes sir, here you go. (Hands him the license and he looks at it then hands it back) It all checked out. <...

Hotel bill

Jack checks out of his hotel after 3 nights, but can't believe the size of the bill. "Why so much?"
Manager: "It's not just the luxury bedroom, we also provided you with a swimming pool, gym, games room..."
Jack: "But I didn't use any of those!"
Manager: "Maybe, but you could have!"
Ja...

My team had to play a football game on a pitch that was littered with loads of stones and gravel.

Luckily we still won on aggregate.

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The founding fathers were having a discussion about the originations of their last names

"I wonder if someone in my family ran a laundry business" mused George Washington, "that may be the reason"

"I suppose mine is more boring, at some point there must have been a Jeffer son", said Thomas Jefferson.

"I don't like this game", said John Hancock

My collection of board game inspired movies was robbed, but I dont know what was stolen

I have no clue

The Kama Sutra's all fun and games

until someone comes in your third eye

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My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.

Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.

Me: Pinocchio?

Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

Edit: thanks for all the support and a...

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There was once a Japanese man named Fuk

Perhaps due to his unfortunate name, and the trouble it brought, he had a great love of alcohol, particularly the rice wine Sake. Every day he would drink an entire bottle from his special stash that was rumoured to contain hundreds upon hundreds of bottles.

Tragedy struck however, upon finis...

what is Amber Heard's favorite board game?

**SCATAGORIE**

We've had about 7 or 8 Resident Evil games so far...

when do we get our first Attending Physician Evil?

so there was this rich man and he was throwing a party and he invites all the people in town including the only redneck, Killroy

They were have a great time at this party.. watching the game, drinking beer and bbqing. Then the rich man announces on his loud speaker "Ladies and gentleman, i have a 30 ft man-eating alligator in my pool. Whoever's brave enough to jump into the pool and kill the gator I'll give them 1 million dol...

Golf

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game.

The pro showed him the stance and swing, then said "Just hit the ball toward the flag on the first green."
...

Golf

Stevie Wonder and Jack Nicklaus are in a bar. Nicklaus turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie Wonder says, "Not too bad, the latest album's gone into the top 10, so all in all I think it's pretty good. By the way, how's the golf?"

Nicklaus replies, "No...

Some of my friends loved the game Battleship while the others absolutely hated it.

It was…hit or miss.

A tramp walks into a decorating store

A tramp walks into a home decorating shop.
The guy behind the counter greets him

"morning, what can I do for you today?"

"2 bottles of methylated spirits please!"

The guy has seen this before "no way buddy, I know your game, you're gonna drink em, it'll kill ya I won't have ...

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Grandpa tells his grandson, "All you kids do these days is play video games."

"When I was your age", he continued, "my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn't pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the M...

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Bob's a truck driver

Bob gets bored on long drives, so he came up with a game. If he sees a lawyer walking on the sidewalk, he'll hop the curb and run him over.

One day, Bob picks up a hitchhiking priest. The priest is quietly studying his Bible. Bob sees a lawyer. Because the priest was so quiet, Bob forgo...

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Tim and Jake goes to watch a football game

Tim : What is that on players back?

Jake : Oh that, the players have written their name in braille to raise awareness about blind people.

Tim : Raise awareness about blind people. Who the fuck doesn't know about blind people.

Jake : Well the deaf have never heard about them.

I was arrested for stealing board games, in my defence...

In life, you should take risks.

The big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. Being a good shot, no one could argue with him.

But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole, he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal.

He said that he was willing to prove it if they would pay for the drinks a...

What is Will Smith's favorite mobile video game?

Slap Kings

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Understood?

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old ice hockey players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or loose, but how we play...

I like my men like I like my shooting games

Top Down

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A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "It's dark in here."
The man says, "Yes,...

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Jack staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his throat.

The doctor asks him what happened.

“Well it was like this,” said Jack. “I was having a quiet game of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.<...

Being called a "snack" or a "tall drink of water" is all fun and games

Until your partner leaves you outside the movie theater because no "outside food or drink is allowed".

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I find that cleaning out my cat’s litter tray is like the lucky dip game at the fair.

In both the prizes are shit.

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Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

what kind of video games do dogs like?

Anyone with a fetch quest

A man suddenly appeared at the gates of Hell… (Story Joke)

He looked up to see the Devil sitting at a chair.

“Hello my friend,” The Devil said kindly, “How are you this fine eternity?”

“A bit confused,” the man replied, “I didn’t realise that I was dead.”

“I understand,” the Devil said sympathetically, “Why don’t you tell me how you got...

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I’m working on a new Wordle-style puzzle game. It’s called Turdle.

I send you a picture of my poo, and you have six guesses to work out what I had for dinner last night.

If you're an X-Men fan, then every Kirby game is a Rogue-like

You run around stealing superpowers, after all.

Smell

It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback bl...

Nintendo are releasing a Finnegan’s Wake game

You need a special Joyce stick to play it

In the jungle, there's a Football (Soccer) match between the Elephants and the Insects...

By half-time the elephants are completely dominating the insects with a score of 36 - 0.
At the start of the 2nd half the Millipede came on for the insects and he was the best player in the whole of the jungle!
When the final whistle blew it was 37 - 36 to the insects!!


Afte...

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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

My son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered this for a moment and replied: “When Abe Lincoln was your age he was The President of the United States.”

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"



A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."<...

r/place feels like a game of battlefield 2042

I'm surrounded by bots because all the humans already left a while ago.

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Mildred, bingo, and Buzzy the parrot

During the pandemic, Mildred, a widow for twenty years, was worried she had to give up her weekly bingo game down at Saint Mary’s community hall. Fortunately, the church found a way to take the game online using Zoom. (After all, bingo was a nice source of revenue.) Just as important, she had Buzzy,...

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Old save file on my N64 says a lot about my self confidence back then

Named myself "DumbButt"

I'm happy to report that I am now a happy adult, replaying my favourite game as SmartAss

So my brother just broke up with his game console….

She’s now his X-Box!

Wife: “Honey let’s play a game?” Husband: “Ok, what is the game all about?”

Wife: "If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. And if I mention a bird you will run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you will give me all your salary for the month."

Husband: "Ok and if you fail,...

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One day a group of terrorists took over a small village...

I fully acknowledge I first read this joke on Reddit many years ago. But since I haven't seen it posted in a long time, and it's been one of my favorite jokes, I'll give my best retelling of it-

So one day a group of terrorists took over a small village in the middle east. And being the evi...

A boy wakes up on his birthday and is excited for presents.

However he finds none anywhere and then his mother arrives. "Yo, yo yo, new bike, a lil video game and one toy soldier boy!" she sings "What? Where are my presents?" he demands. The mother says: "Your father told me I had to rap the presents."

An American dropped into a pub in London for a drink and found it completely full of Brits.

An American dropped into a pub in London for a drink and found it completely full of Brits. After a few minutes, he saw a table for two with one middle-aged gentleman sitting at it. He walked over to the table and asked if he could sit down. The Brit replied, "Certainly. Please do."

The Ameri...

I was just watching the Oscars...

And a hockey game broke out.

My wife sighed, "Why does everything have to be a game with you?" I shouted, "An excellent question, sweetheart!"

"But next time, please use the buzzer!"

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A Dirty Joke from the 14th Century

The joke comes to us from Jean de Conde of Hainaut, born 1275:

A game of truth-telling is being played at court by a Queen and her retinue. A knight is asked by the Queen if he has fathered any children; he is forced to admit that he has not.

The Queen nods in assent, saying "you do no...

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Many people think that King Arthur didn’t have very much sex

Many people think that King Arthur didn’t have very much sex because he only had one son. But, if you think about the sword in the stone, his pull out game is what made him king in the first place.

The big game Hunter

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to lo...

Marriage is like playing a card game.

In the beginning, two hearts and a diamond are more than enough.

By the end, though, you want a club and a spade.

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My wife walked in on me while I was watching porn

In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the Jeopardy game show. As my wife walks out she says: "you should stay on the porn channel.. your not smart enough for Jeopardy."

A really obese woman turned up to a game show.

The judge looked her up and down and said to her.

I think you misunderstood the name of the game show..

It's called "Fact Hunt."

In an apartment complex, a beautiful woman and three men live

One day, the woman is taking a shower, when one of the men knocks on her door. She recognizes his voice as that of the football player, so she puts on a towel and sees what he wants.

Football player: great news! My team won the game!

Woman: that’s very exciting! Congratulations!
...

Me and my girlfriend split up because she said I thought about video games too much.

It’s such a stupid thing to Fallout 4.

what do you call a can of fish in a misspelled french garden?

Jardines

(Got inspired by a video game for this one)

An Asian kid asks his mom

“Mom, what does “an Apple a day keeps the doctors away” mean?”

Mom says, “ah, my dear son, it means that if you play games on your Apple phone everyday, you will never get your PhD”

Trying to change my password to “MyPulloutGame” but the computer says its too weak.

All 7 of my children: “why are you crying dad?”

Why wasn't the cat invited to the poker game?

Because it was a cheetah.

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A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with h...

George and Muriel died and went to Heaven...

They had been married for well over 70 years, and both were in excellent health. Their bodies were just too old to continue and they passed away of natural causes at the ripe age of 106 and 108, hours apart. Their longevity was due to the strictly healthy diet Muriel kept them on.

St. Peter ...

What game have russian oligarchs stop playing

Yacht see

I need help with a 17 year old joke about Jello and Communism

So my friend and I started this game 17 years ago where you have to come up with a jello (we altered the rules to allow *some* pastries) that fit a communist theme.

Everytime we come up with a new one we swear there are none left. I know he cheats, cos I cheat too. My sister came up with Ban...

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An Italian lawyer and an Irishman are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that Irishman is so dumb that he could put something over on him easily…So the lawyer asks if the Irishman would like to play a fun game.

The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The Italian lawye...

A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens.

They will be ejected from a game if they have more than five personal fowls.

I was disappointed at the sudden cancellation of the Int’l Leprosy Association’s annual hockey game…

Apparently there was a face off in the corner

Russian roulette may be the easiest game on earth

Not a single person alive has ever lost at it

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Did you hear that a sewer pipe broke at the football stadium during a game?

Apparently, the shit hit the fans.

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Can Cold Water Wash Dishes?

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Georgia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfathe...

What is an Alabama family's favorite game?

Spin the bottle!

Russia should be in the Book of World Records.

They are in the biggest game of

"I'm not touching you"

Why did the cops show up at the baseball game?

They heard someone was stealing bases.

School counselor

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
...

Last year a guy took his Blonde girl friend to the Superbowl

They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked it.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the

tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't

understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."<...

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On Air Confession

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or serio...

It usually makes me happy when I go first in a game...

...Except in tic tac toe.

Then it makes me cross.

The Politician and the Afterlife

While walking down the street one day, a high ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official a...

The numbers game

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. ‘Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!’ goes the noise from within the mental hospital’s wards.

The man’s curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It’s not long before he finds a small cr...

Why can't you play games in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

What's the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear?

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear confrontations, the Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and be alert for bears while in the field. …We advise that outdoorsmen wear small bells on their clothing so as not to startle b...

Buddy bought Superbowl tickets

A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tickets, 40 yard line box seats 20 rows up. He paid $4,500 each but he didn't realize when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Probably because of the extra game this year.

If you’re interested, he’s looking for someone to t...

bar games

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I stopped off at that new bar down the street last night. They were having a contest where the first person who talked lost," he tells the bartender. "It was quite the competition, to say the least."

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Pastor Jim was coming home late one night, when he found the whole village having a party at the local pub

He decides to check it out. He walks in to find all the men naked, and all the women blindfolded.

"What in the name of the lord is happening here?", he asks in shock.

"Come on in, pastor Jim, we're playing a game" says one of the drunken men.

"What kind of games is this?" inquir...

A man wins a neighborhood door prize.

it's a toilet brush, and a week later, some of the guys invited him him to their weekly poker game. While there, one of them asks, "Hey Ollie, how's that toilet brush, the one you won from us neighbors?" Ollie responds, "Well, it works real good, but I prefer toilet paper."

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Don’t mess with Mother Nature

On the 16th hole of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods. Harry, his partner had laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods as well, just a few yards beyond.
Fred looked for his ball for a long time, getting angrier every minute. Finally, in a...

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A lawyer, a priest, and an engineer meet each week for a game of golf.

One day, they get stuck behind the slowest group of players they had ever seen. They were hitting the balls all over the place, getting stuck in just about every trap and patch of rough, and missing just about every putt.

Finally, the group gets frustrated and heads to the clubhouse to find ...

Playing word games

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer then settles down to play a word game on his smart phone. "Hey, did you know that 'boredom' is an anagram of 'bedroom'?" he asks the bartender. "No," the bartender replies. "But I think my wife does."

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A redditor is being investigated for tax fraud

So he goes to the IRS bar at the bank with his attorney little Johnny.

The tax bartender asks him "you have no marketable skills, how do you make so much money?"

The redditor responds "I tell jokes, want to hear one? If you guess the punch line I'll pay you $69, if not you'll owe me $...

Golf

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car a policeman stopped him and asked "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"

"Yes." the golfer responded. ...

6 guys playing poker

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete their playing time standing up. After the game, Mr. Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife...

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Chess Champion

The reporter asked the reigning chess grandmaster "What do you do before your games ?"

"Well", said the champ, "I never have sex on the night before a big match"

"Does that help you concentrate? "

"I'm not sure" he sighed "I don't have sex any other night either".

An Alabama man was recently arrested

He was arrested for streaking naked through a Clemson football game. When it was time for him to use his phone call, he called his mom.

When she answered, he explained to her what happened, and the only thing she said was

"you're an embarrassment to the family wreath."

Three former sorority sisters meet up for a reunion homecoming game and start talking about life has treated them since college.

The first says that she couldn't be happier. She married a man who owns a Mercedes Benz car dealership. They live in a beautiful home, she drives whatever new Mercedes that strikes her fancy, and they are living a life of luxury.

The second mentions that her husband was just a councilman in t...

Steve treats John as a Rival

Steve always fall second next to John in everything in High School, when they graduated high school John graduates as the Top of the class and Steve is second.

On then Steve vowed to study hard in college and comeback to humiliate John. John are not able to continue his studies because their ...

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A class of school children are playing a game

They are blindfolded and given a piece of food which they then eat and try to guess what it is.

They guess the first food, chocolate and they guess the second food, banana but they all get stuck on the third one, honey

The teacher tries to help them out and says "it's something your da...

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Falling For You

A construction crew were working on a new high-rise building, and joking about how high up they were. On a particularly windy day, they decided to play a little game.



"I bet you can't have a piss off the end of that platform"

"Sure I can, though you go first"



The...

Aaron Rodgers is now 0-4 against the 49ers in a playoff game…

He’s also 0-3 for his vaccination shots

Alison Brie, Anna Kendrick, and Keira Knightley play a game of strip poker. Who wins?

The internet

A young man is vacationing in Spain…

… when he happens to wander into a pub populated entirely by tourists, most of whom are in the midst of playing some kind of trivia game.

The young man sits down at a vacant table and listens for a while, slowly realizing that the game is focused entirely on the many hotels, motels, and hoste...

“The worst

time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."

Why do Canadians do it doggy-style?

So they both can watch the hockey game.



(Told to me by my 11th grade English teacher, who should have known better. Shame on you, Mr. Avril.)

If you like a good Sven and Ole joke. . .

Sven recently got promoted to Game Warden for his Minnesota district and was watching a beautiful flock of loon flying overhead. Suddenly, a shot rang out and one of the loon fell to the ground.

Sven, cursing, drove his truck over to where it fell, only to see his lifelong friend, Ole, picki...

What game were children actually encouraged to play in the Soviet Union?

ISpy

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My sex life is like a game of pool.

Or at least like the 2 blue ball.

I thought my tongue game was rusty

Turns out I just had to get it whet

A guy goes to the doctors.

A guy goes to the doctors complaining of feeling generally unwell. The Doctor examines him, then looks at him and says, 'Well, Mr Jones, it looks like you have Yellow 24'. 'What's that? ' asks Mr Jones, and the doctor explains 'Sadly its not a good prognosis. First you start feeling unwell, as you h...

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My Favourite Joke

Some time ago, when I was a teenager, I went to my uncle’s farm. I, a city boy, didn’t want to go but my cousins insisted and convinced me. It was a nice experience at first but after a few days there I was bored as fuck with no tv, no internet, no video games, and just seeing my cousins 24h a day.<...

if school was a game, there would be loading screen tips reminding you to

stay behind cover and only move when the enemy is reloading

One day at the bar, the warden of a prison and the manager of a football club get into a argument about football.

The warden mocks the manager’s players. Saying they are pathetic, over-payed babies who collapse whenever there’s a slight breeze. He claims that his inmates, could beat them easily as they are made of sterner stuff.

The manager laughs. The inmates are all criminals, they would cheat or even ...

A good drummer, a bad drummer, a trumpeter and a clarinetist are standing im each corner of a football field

You throw $100 in the middle of the field. Who gets the money first?

The bad drummer. There are no good drummers, the trumpeter doesn’t move for just 100 bucks and the clarinetist didn’t understand the game.

What is the favorite video game console of the french?

It's the "oui" (wii)

If a male video game character squats on a downed opponent it's called "Tea Bagging" when a female character does it it's called...

"Clam Dipping"

A little joke from a game

I used to fish with a guy named Wesley. One day we were fishing when we saw a funeral procession go over the bridge. Wesley stood up, took his hat off and bowed his head. He then sat down and continued fishing. I told him “That was nice of you”. He replied “Thats the least I owed. After all I was ma...

I Tried to walk out of my job at the Video game company

But in the end I couldn't get past the boss

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Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning

Young Timmy rushed out on Christmas morning, anticipating that he'd be getting a new Nintendo Console this year. "Surprise!" shouted his parents. "We know you wanted video games, but we think you need to get outdoors more. We got you this set of fishing gear! Unfortunately, it was rather expensive, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So my brother had this beautiful motor cycle.

So my brother had this beautiful motorcycle. For years he had that thing, shined like a diamond. It was his baby. Well, he's getting older now, just got married, has a kid on the way, big new promotion in the city, new house, the works. It's about time to settle down for him so he decided to pass it...

Where do Pirates go to play games?

The Arrrr-cade!

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