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The coach grimaced as he watched his young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, he called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded affirmatively...

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded once more.

"So..." the coach continued. "I'm sure you know that when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-...

I, foolishly, named my daughter Daenerys before seeing how Game of Thrones ended. But you live and you learn.

Now to take a big sip of coffee, sit down with my son, Judas, and read about how things worked out for this Jesus fella.

There’s no way video games cause violence.

If they did, school shootings would involve a LOT more tea bagging.

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NSFW - A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.What are you doing?" she exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents an

What are you doing?" she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband."

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he ...

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A new member of a big game hunting club shows up to a the welcoming ceremony

The young member wants to hear some great hunting stories so he finds the oldest man at the ceremony and says "Sir, I know you have some great hunting stories, tell me your best one."

The old man is happy to share his experiences with the young member. He starts out by saying "it was 1947, me...

I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday.

It was a risk I was willing to take.

A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he snuck across the border

He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience:

"What h...

[OC] How do they kick off Olympic games in Russia?

On your Marx... Lean in... Gorbachev!

life is like a game of chess

i dont have a clue how to play chess

A man takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game

A man takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over he asks if she had a good time. She replied “yes that was fun, but I don’t understand why they do all of that for 25 cents”. The man, puzzled, asks “what do you mean?” To which the blonde replied “well the game started with...

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My grandpa told me “All you kids do these days is play video games.”

“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris, We went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, pissed on the bartender and didn’t pay for my drinks all night!”

The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his frien...

Three ladies were enjoying wine spritzers, when one suggested they play a game!

She proposed each wife describe which Soda Pop best described their husband in bed?

The First Lady said “my husband is Dr.Pepper, because every night he’s peppy”!

They all giggled!

The second lady said “my husband is 7UP, cause he can get it up 7 days a week”!

The ladie...

What is Trump's favorite game?

Borderlands.

Which game ruins the most relationships??

Russian Roulette

Ever play the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?

When your gf goes to the bathroom, you take six shots.

What game does a drug addict play the most?

Need for speed.

What is one game the Voldemort always loses at?

Nose Goes

What game do anti-vax children love playing?

Marko Polio

The Cleveland Browns are covering the playing field in cardboard for Sunday's game.

Because they always play better on paper.

Jeffery Epstein likes his video games like he likes his suicides

Co-op

What is China's favourite online game ?

Unreal Tiannament.

What's T.I.'s favourite game?

Hymen seek.

(But seriously, f*ck that guy)

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Whenever i play FPS games

Whenever i play FPS games i feel like a necrophiliac

Cause im always fucking dead.

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game.

They had great seats right behind her teams bench on the 50 yard line.

After the game he asked her how she liked it.

She replied "oh, I really like it especially all the tight pants and big muscles, but I just don't understand why they were fighting each other over 25 cents."

T...

Why was it so hot after the football game?

Because all the fans left.

R Kelly changed the rap game

He took the art out of Rap Artist

Why should you never play games in the Savannah?

Because the odds are, you’ll play a Cheetah and his friend who won’t stop Lion.

If only more game companies acted like blizzard.

I could probably kick my gaming addiction.

What game do NSA employees spend all day playing?

*I spy*

A game show host is talking to a rabbit

The host looks at his question card. "Okay, here is your first question: What is 7 plus 5?"

"Twelve", replied the rabbit.

"That's correct! Now for question 2: What is 56 minus 37?"

The rabbit thought for a moment. "Nineteen"

"That's correct! Okay, now here is your grand p...

I went to a beer festival. In order to prevent myself from getting too drunk, I decided to follow the Chicago Bears' offensive game plan.

Three and out.

The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games

But that's a Risk I'm willing to take

Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.

Working in customer service already did that.

Death Stranding is not a video game...

it's a Hideo game

Why do garbagemen make great video game teammates?

Because they're used to carrying trash

I asked a French man if he played video games

He said, "Wii"

I told my friend named Gong about the untitled goose game

Gong : So what can you do in this game

Me: Idk just run around and honk at people

Gong: oh is there a mana or resource bar for how many times you can honk ?

Me: no no you can just honk at people

Gong: so it’s unlimited? It’s free?

Me: yes it’s a free honk, gong

A little girl went to her dad’s baseball game.

Her dad is an MLB player. He’s famous for bunting the ball. The little girl doesn’t understand. She thinks the point is to the swing all the way with the bat.

So, next time he bunted, the girl shouted, much to the shock of the crowd, “HARDER DADDY!”

What's an anti vax kids favorite game?

Marco polio

Fun name game

Your Alcoholic name is:


Your first name

\+

Your last name

What does a hockey game and an airboat have in common?

Loud fans

i almost scored 5 points in our rugby game yesterday.

it was a nice try

A guy was trying to find a parking space at a baseball game

and he was already missing the first inning, so he prayed to God and said "If you find a parking space for me I promise I'll never miss church again." Just then a car pulled out of a space right in front of him, and the guy said "Never mind, I just found one."

If Jack Black stole from African-American card players while playing the card game 21...

He'd be Jack Black jacking blacks during black jack.

What was 16's favorite childhood game?

4 square

Why is EA the worst game company in America?

Because Ubisoft is in France

What is Thanos' favorite video game?

Half-Life.

My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but it turned out she just wanted to do laundry.

So I folded.

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What's that game/quiz show on NPR on Saturdays? It's on the tip of my tongue...

Wait, wait, don't tell me...

I'm working on a Yosemite Sam video game...

But it has a lot of Bugs.

Wanna know what would be a great game for people with dementia?

Memory.

After I won the game I decide to throw the ball into the crowd like they do on TV....

Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling

People playing video games get so upset when it says "you can't go any further."

Geez, people, it's not the end of the world.

I'm planning on making an application that randomly closes the video game you are playing and opens a different one...

It's going to be a game changer....

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What's Hitler's favorite video game?

Mein Kraft

Super Mario Odyssey is a gigantic game.

I've been playing for many moons.

A politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and ...

If life was a video game...

...Id return it right away

Marriage is like a game of poker

At first you have two hearts and a diamond
By the end all you want is a club and spade

I took my friend’s board game without him noticing.

He doesn’t have a Clue.

I got addicted to gambling on quiz games

Now I’m in Kahoots with the mafia.

I decided to let my game download overnight, as it would take many hours.

When I woke up, there was a pop up asking me to confirm the download

EA Sports - It’s in the Game...

If you buy the DLC

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A guy in a wheelchair asked me why I watch people play video games instead of playing them myself.

I looked at him and asked “Why the fuck are you wearing shoes?”

I was playing a game of really deep facts with some kitchen objects.

I just finished saying my fact when I hear a knock on the door.

The dishwasher opens it, turns around and looks at me skeptically.

I say to him:"Let that sink in."

A chess champion and an Australian man were playing a game of chess at a fancy restaurant.

(My dad told me this one, not sure if it’s OG but hey it’s worth a shot)

A chess master wanted to go back to playing casual matches, he also invited his old friend who was from Australia to play at a local restaurant.

The man is surprised his friend is holding out amazingly well, and a...

Did you hear about the new Call of Duty game?

It's called:

Call of Communism: Modern China

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Two friends, Bob and Sam, are bored are sitting around the house. Bob asks Sam do you want to play a game?

**NOTE: This joke only really works in person and told to a group of people. **

Sam says "Ok, what's the game?"

Bob replies, "I'll blind fold you and put something up your butt and you have to guess what it is."

Sam hesitantly says, "umm ok" and puts a blind fold on and drops h...

So a guy buys a PlayStation and starts an EA game.

Pay just $9.99 to unlock the rest of this joke!

What is a Jamaican's favorite game ?

Poke-a-mon

Gotta catch em all...

Todd Howard & Gabe Newell have planned to create a game to together, it's called...

To Be Announced

A brawl took place in a basketball game. A judge came in and used his gavel to stop it.

He brought order in the court

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Loosing my virginity was a lot like my first soccer game...

very mediocre, but at least my mom *came*.

*edit: \*Losing*

Albert Einstein, Blaise Pascal, and Isaac Newton decided to play a game of hide and seek.

Einstein covers his eyes and starts counting.


Pascal runs off to hide but Newton takes a chalk and marks a 1m×1m square on the floor and stands in it.


"Ready or not, here I come!" Einstein exclaims while he opens his eyes. He sees Newton standing out in the open and says "Haha,...

What kind of games do pirates play?

Arrr-pgs!

I'm a student, and I play a game with myself every time I check my bank account.

It's called Meal or no Meal.

My friend still hasn’t seen season 8 of Game of Thrones. And every time I try to broach the subject she just yells at me, “No Spoilers!” So I gave up on trying to warn her

That she shouldn’t name her baby, Khaleesi.

My neighbor was walking across the street while carrying the game Scrabble then suddenly dropped it, leaving the game board and pieces on the ground.

I said: “Hey Jeff! What’s the word on the street?”

My mom asked me how I can have fun playing video games all the time...

I said, "They're actually designed that way."

Why did the pirate not like the old video game with a liberal-leaning political message?

It was hard to port

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A man out playing golf slices off into the woods. When he goes to find the ball he discovers a witch stirring a cauldron. So out of curiosity he asks her what she is brewing..?

“A magic potion” she replies.

“Well what is it for?” he asks.

“This potion will make anyone an excellent golfer.”

At this he gets really excited and asks if he can have some. She is agreeable but warns him that it will have dire consequences on his sex life.

After a short...

Did you hear the results of the game between the beach and the ocean?

It's tide.

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Y’know, imaginary numbers are all fun and games...

... until someone loses an i

Then shit gets real.

The last board game night was a complete failure

When we showed up, it turned out that our host had no Clue

An extremely buff, muscly man walks into a local pro gaming tournament.

He meets up with his opponent and shakes hands with him.

The opponent, being lifted up with a single hand like Jigglypuff after a shield break, shakily asks.

“W-why’s a man like you at a tournament l-like this? Shouldn’t you be working as a c-construction worker or something?”

W...

Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…"

"…country music."

What's a pickle's favorite game show?

Dill or No Dill,
hosted by Howie Mandill.

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A man walks into a bar...

...with a little monkey on his shoulder. Man orders a beer and the little monkey is excitedly looking around at all the sights. Man sips on his beer and the monkey spies a bowl of peanuts at one end of the bar so he scampers over and proceeds to scarf down all the peanuts. Bartender sees all this, l...

The pirate just can't play a game of cards.

Because he was sitting on the deck!

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Imam join each other for a game of golf

The game is going well and all 3 are pretty even. On the 16th hole, the Rabbi drops it into a water hazard.
“Oh God, Come on!” He says, but immediately asks for forgiveness.
On the 17th hole, the Iman lines up a drive but shanks it wildly.
“God damn it!!!” He exclaims, but quickly gets on h...

What does Titanic, The Sixth Sense, and Game of Thrones have in common?

Icy dead people.

My wife sighed, “Why does everything have to be a game with you?”

I replied, “An excellent question, my dear. But next time, please use the buzzer!”

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Genghis Khan and his soldiers attacked a tiny village of their enemy country and took all the men and women as prisoners..

Later in the evening,after being intoxicated,the sadistic Genghis decides to play a game..

He asks all the men from the village to stand in a line and strip down their pants..

He then instructed one of the wives of the men to be blindfolded and she should recognize her husband after ex...

A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Georgia as he started to leave a lake well known for it’s fish.

The game warden asked the man, “May I see your fishing license please?”

“Naw, sir,” replied the redneck. “I don’t need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish.”

“Pet fish!?!?”

“Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o’mine down to the lake and let ’em swim ’roun...

Telltale Games will shut down...

*Fans will remember that*

Why is parking at game companies such an issue?

They have loading zones only.

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What does Minecraft and Porn Games have in common?

The first thing you do is get wood.

Stop blaming the video games for violence.

Some of you played Mortal Kombat your whole lives and never learned how to finish her.

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A game of hide and seek

4 brothers were playing a game of hide and seek; Manners, None of your business, Shit and Trouble.
Manners, being the oldest, is elected as the seeker. Not long after finishing counting, he finds None of your business and Shit. Trouble, the youngest of the brothers, is noted as the best hide and ...

I thought my son was spending way too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."

He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."

Timmy’s parents asked him why he didn’t play games with Dave anymore

Timmy replied: would you want to play with someone who screams, swears and throws with his controller when he loses?
His parents: no, of course not! Timmy: Well apparently Dave doesn’t either!

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