If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called?

'American'.

Just kidding, it's actually called 'Yo Momma'.

​

Where's the beef ?

The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.

"Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bouraguiginon for you, and I got it out of the oven to seas...

A guy asks his friend to rub some beef fat on his ribs

His friend refuses saying he won’t assist in a suet side!

(My first OC post, thought up while cooking dinner. Improvement suggestions welcome)

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job?

You don't know?

soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow?

When vegans have an argument, is it still beef?

No. It’s leaf.

(My little cousin has just told me the old joke, and I instantaneously made up the answer. Thought I’d share it with you all!)

I just found out I couldn't use "beef stew" as a password.

Apparently it's not stroganoff.

The chef overcooked the beef...

it was a misteak!

A local casino is offering marijuana infused beef to their best bettors.

That’s really high steaks for their high rollers.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two men were working on a beef ranch together

Their names are Ron and Mitch. They’re sitting down on a bench after working a few hours and Mitch has been chewing the whole day and he has a cup that he’s been spitting in, the cup is full to the brim with spit and mucus and saliva and he looks over to Ron and says “I’ll give you 20 bucks if you d...

I started investing in stocks of Beef, Chicken, and Vegetables.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

Even the best farmers or engineers failed to develop a brand of cannabis-fed beef meat

The steaks were too high

A guy walks into a bar and notices many cuts of beef suspended from the ceiling several feet above his head.

The guy orders a drink and asks the bartender about the meat.
The bartender replies, "It's a contest I run here. You get one try. If you can jump high enough to touch one of them, you get the money in the pot . If you miss, you have to put $500 in. You want to try?"
The guy thinks for a second...

If a cow with no legs is ground beef and a cow with three legs is lean beef. What do you call a cow with two legs?

Your momma

If two Vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?

Asking for a friend

What do you call not bad, not good brown beef?

Meaty-ochre

McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed.

Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.

I don't think making the world's biggest piece of cooked beef was McDonalds' greatest ideea.

In fact, I believe it was quite a huge McSteak.

Did you hear about McDonald's new burger made entirely of beef lips?

It's called the McJagger.

A Chinese delivery guy has a regular customer that he thinks is gorgeous.

He sees her at least once a week, and after a long while he finally works up the nerve to ask her out on a date. She agrees, and a week later the two meet up for dinner. Everything goes well and they wind up back at her place. Soon, it starts getting hot and heavy as they kiss and remove their cloth...

If 2 vegans have beef...

It's the one who backs out still a chicken?

Why should you not eat beef during a flight?

The steaks are too high

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

anybody can roast beef

I put my name into a drawing in order to win a tiny broom used to clean beef.

I hope I win this sweep steaks

With many truck routes blocked from Wildfire, California residents are having beef shipments airdropped to them.

The steaks have never been higher.

Everything we eat always seems to taste like chicken, beef or pork, except for snake.

That always tastes like my ex.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A herd of masturbating cattle is called Beef Stroganoff, but what do you call it when they do it to each other?

Hamburger Helper

How do you sell beans for the price of beef?

Make vegan burger.

If the opening night of my marijuana-smoked beef restaurant isn’t a success, I could lose everything.

The steaks are so high.

So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef.

The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."

My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried

His life is at steak

European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.

They're in bread.

A total Dad joke I heard this holiday.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef.

Sorry Reddit :-)

A Chinese couple is in bed ...

and the husband asks, "Hey, how about a little 69?" She replies, "You want Beef and Broccoli now?"

My niece wouldn't eat the beef tongue because it came out of the mouth of an animal.

I then prepared her an egg...

Before I moved to the US, I used to prefer chicken to beef.

But that was hen and this is cow.

Why is ground beef so popular?

Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.

A chicken gives us eggs, a cow gives us beef. What does a pig give us?

A bloody speeding ticket

You know which group doesn't have beef with anyone?

Hindus.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, would it still be called a beef?

Not sure, depends on what's at steak.

I can make you speak Irish

Say "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don't get it.

I've never had a beef with one.

What's a social gathering where everyone has beef with everyone ?

BBQ

Me and My friend Bet 500 dollars on who could throw a slap of beef to the greatest altitude above sea level...

The steaks have never been higher

If 2 vegans are upset with eachother, is it called beef?

Or would it be a brussel bout?

What is Steve Rogers' favorite cut of beef?

Cap meat

Why can't Hindus get in fights?

They're not allowed to have beef

That beef I ate last night isn't sitting right

Eating it was a misteak.