I just found out I couldn't use "beef stew" as a password.

Apparently it's not stroganoff.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef jerky

I started investing in stocks of Beef, Chicken, and Vegetables.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.

What do you call a three legged cow?

Lean beef.

What do you call a one legged cow?

Ground beef.

What do you call a two legged cow?

Michelle. She’s my ex wife.

I don't think making the world's biggest piece of cooked beef was McDonalds' greatest ideea.

In fact, I believe it was quite a huge McSteak.

Even the best farmers or engineers failed to develop a brand of cannabis-fed beef meat

The steaks were too high

A guy walks into a bar and notices many cuts of beef suspended from the ceiling several feet above his head.

The guy orders a drink and asks the bartender about the meat.
The bartender replies, "It's a contest I run here. You get one try. If you can jump high enough to touch one of them, you get the money in the pot . If you miss, you have to put $500 in. You want to try?"
The guy thinks for a second...

What do you call not bad, not good brown beef?


Did you hear about McDonald's new burger made entirely of beef lips?

It's called the McJagger.

McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed.

Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.

If two Vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?

Asking for a friend

A Chinese delivery guy has a regular customer that he thinks is gorgeous.

He sees her at least once a week, and after a long while he finally works up the nerve to ask her out on a date. She agrees, and a week later the two meet up for dinner. Everything goes well and they wind up back at her place. Soon, it starts getting hot and heavy as they kiss and remove their cloth...

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

anybody can roast beef

Why should you not eat beef during a flight?

The steaks are too high

If 2 vegans have beef...

It's the one who backs out still a chicken?

Everything we eat always seems to taste like chicken, beef or pork, except for snake.

That always tastes like my ex.

I put my name into a drawing in order to win a tiny broom used to clean beef.

I hope I win this sweep steaks

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A herd of masturbating cattle is called Beef Stroganoff, but what do you call it when they do it to each other?

Hamburger Helper

How do you sell beans for the price of beef?

Make vegan burger.

If the opening night of my marijuana-smoked beef restaurant isn’t a success, I could lose everything.

The steaks are so high.

My niece wouldn't eat the beef tongue because it came out of the mouth of an animal.

I then prepared her an egg...

My brother has a beef eating disorder and I'm worried

His life is at steak

European monarchs are a lot like beef Wellington.

They're in bread.

So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef.

The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."

Before I moved to the US, I used to prefer chicken to beef.

But that was hen and this is cow.

You know which group doesn't have beef with anyone?


A total Dad joke I heard this holiday.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground Beef.

Sorry Reddit :-)

A chicken gives us eggs, a cow gives us beef. What does a pig give us?

A bloody speeding ticket

Why is ground beef so popular?

Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, would it still be called a beef?

Not sure, depends on what's at steak.

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

Me and My friend Bet 500 dollars on who could throw a slap of beef to the greatest altitude above sea level...

The steaks have never been higher

I can make you speak Irish

Say "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly

What's a social gathering where everyone has beef with everyone ?


People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don't get it.

I've never had a beef with one.

If 2 vegans are upset with eachother, is it called beef?

Or would it be a brussel bout?

Why can't Hindus get in fights?

They're not allowed to have beef

That beef I ate last night isn't sitting right

Eating it was a misteak.

An Asian couple is in bed

And the husband, making an effort to spice things up, says "We do #69 now"!

And the wife says, "Why you want Beef and Broccoli"?

A bashful Chinese couple gets married . . .

On their honeymoon, the husband asks, "So what do you want to do?"

The wife replies, "I think I want 69."

The husband is shocked.

"You want Beef and Broccoli now?!!!"