This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Jews are in a Nazi concentration camp

The Nazi officer approaches the first Jew and asks him, "How high can you jump?"

"One metre" he replies.

"Not bad", says the Nazi officer and gives him some bread and water.

He then asks the second Jew the same question. The second Jew says he can jump two metres high.

"V...

My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding.

She was absolutely furious and said she’s never going to play scrabble with me ever again

Edit:
I’m aware it dosnt’ look right the way I wrote it ,but you get the gist

What kind of doctor is always on call?

An oncologist!


...


I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Britain had just colonized Malaysia, three local criminals were caught and brought to the British Commander...

"They committed such deadly crimes, they should be beheaded!" The Lieutenant suggested the Commander.

Hearing that, the three criminals pleaded for their lives to the Commander.

The Commander agreed to let them live under one condition, which was to collect 10 fruits of same type.
<...

What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone?

An oncologist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Zambian Roulette

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite.

To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to...

Walk with Pride Laddie

A Scotsman was visiting the U.S. and went to a baseball game. The first batter hit a single and the crowd yelled "Run, run." The second batter hit a double and again the crowd yelled "Run, run."
When the third batter was walked the Scotsman yelled "Run, run Laddie." thinking he was getting t...

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A hillbilly missed the first day of his deductive reasoning class...

...so he goes to the professor to get the gist of what he missed.

Professor: "Let me give you an example. Do you have a lawn mower?"

Hillbilly: "Yea I do."

P: "From that fact, I can guess that you have a lawn in which to use your lawn mower.".

H: "Well I'll be..."
...

Favorite joke of my late grandfather

A British man comes to America and decides he needs to do at least one really American thing before he leaves. He decides to go to a baseball game. After a couple of innings he thinks that he's got the gist of it and when the next batter hits he stands up in his seat and says "Run swiftly my man, ru...

"Let me put it this way.."

~gist of Kamasutra

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