UPJOKE
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Fowl Joke

Smaller babies may be delivered by Stork, the heavier ones need a Crane, and Swallows deliver none.
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Fowl Play

Where do orphaned chickens and turkeys end up?

Foster Farms
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Lawyer vs. Water Fowl

What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?







Stick his bill up his Ass
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Fowl humor

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.     She had several hundred young
pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.


She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and
was replaced.


This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny be...
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A man bought a parrot but it had a bad attitude and a fowl vocabulary...

He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its dirty language but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer doo...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when a fowl chasing Boris Johnson bites him in the butt?

Chicken cacciatore.

(I'm so sorry.)

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The Fowl Mouthed Parrot

A woman brought home a parrot from the pound, and discovered, to her dismay that he loved to swear like a sailor.

One day, after being called a juicy bitch one time too many, she grabbed him, and threw him into the freezer, in order to teach him a lesson.

After a few minutes, she opene...

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It’s ok if your phone autocorrects “Fuck” to “Duck”

You’re still using Fowl Language.

I never use fowl language

I just don't give a cluck
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What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek?

A Peking duck
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the fowled experiment

scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the wind...
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What do you call barnyard fowl staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

My wife and daughter made up this joke.
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Did you hear about the dyslexic boy who cried fowl?

Nobody listened and the wolf ate him.
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What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck.

(it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)
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My son is walking through the house, shouting “Duck! Duck! Duck!”

I told him to stop using fowl language.
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I had sex with a turkey. I know what you’re all thinking...

That’s fowl

Billy got a parrot for his birthday

This parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Billy tried very hard to change the bird's manners, but nothing worked. Billy was getting really frusturated. He yelled at it and shook it. The bird just got even angrier and yelled fowl language even more. Finally Billy ...
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Who Is The Greatest Chicken-Killer In Shakespeare?

Macbeth, because he did murder most fowl.
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One crazy irish hunting trip

A solicitor from Dublin, while hunting in the West, brought down a fowl which landed in a farmer's field. As the lawyer climbed over the wall to retrieve the bird, the elderly owner appeared asking what he was doing. The litigator replied, "I shot that bird y'see lyin there, and now I'm about to pic...

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Why don’t we eat Turducken on Thanksgiving?

It’s too fowl.

I hate jokes about chickens.

They're all fowl.
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What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their throat?

A turkey and ham sandwich.

I'll see myself out.
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what's another name for chicken testicles?

A fowl ball

My boss got mad at me for calling a co-worker a chicken.

He said he doesn't tolerate any fowl language.
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I just got tackled in a game of football by a bird.

It was a fowl.
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A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens.

They will be ejected from a game if they have more than five personal fowls.
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Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fowls.
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Why will Donald Trump pardon his first turkey this year?

Because the bird is accused of fowl play
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A duck walks into a bar and just fucking screams at the barkeep.Give me a fucking jack and coke you fucking stupid ugly motherfucker.

Whoa there partner, capitulates the tender of fine libations...whats with the fowl language?

Did you hear that somebody killed a majority of the birds?

It’s a murder of most fowl
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I wanted to tell a dirty joke about a baby chicken but...

Then I realized it was a little fowl.
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

For some fowl reason, probably.
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I recently heard that Turkeys aren't allowed to play baseball.

No matter how many times they hit, they'll always hit Fowl balls.
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A farmer left the door to his chicken coop open ...

Upon noticing his chickens are missing, he runs down the street in the direction he hopes they have gone. He runs into a man on the side of the road and asks "Have you seen a bunch of chickens this way?". The man replies that he hasn't. The farmer apologizes for wasting the mans time. The man re...
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How do you turn ham into a bird?

Leave it out for a week until it turns fowl
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Why do birds make bad basketball players?

They're always committing fowls.
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A man walked into a Star Wars museum

...carrying an old rusted bucket by his side and demanded to know who was in charge.

"What can I help you with today, sir?" asked the confused curator.

"This here is an authentic piece of European history and once belonged to the King of England 1000 years ago."

"But," stutte...
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What do you call evil duck rituals?

Fowl practices!
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What do you call a duck that steals the letters A, E, I, O, and U?

A foul vowel fowl.
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Chicken! Duck! Pheasant plucker!

Oh sorry excuse my fowl language.
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A farmer brought a chicken and a duck to the morning market

A buyer comes along and asks "how much for the chicken?"

The chicken replies "MORE THAN IT COSTS TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER FOR A NIGHT"

The buyer, understandably taken aback, asks the farmer what's up with the chicken.

The farmer replies: "Don't think too much of it. He's just fowl mo...

Why did the Mallard fail as a comic?

His humor was too fowl.
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Do you know why “Chicken Run” was as an marked explicit movie?

It has fowl language
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I tried incubating some chicks but turns out my rooster is sterile.

Oh well.
No harm, no fowl.
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I got attacked by a goose today.

Needless to say, I used some fowl language.
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Him "I know we agreed to trade my cheese for your chicken, but I forgot the cheese at home. Will you still give me the chicken?"

Her "Absolutely not! You know what they say: 'No parm, no fowl!'".
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What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

A murder most fowl.

(I'll see myself out...)
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