UPJOKE
poultrybirdchickenwaterfowlhuntordergeesegrouserungiblethunt downtrack downmeathenrooster

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What do you call it when a fowl chasing Boris Johnson bites him in the butt?

Chicken cacciatore.

(I'm so sorry.)

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Why don’t we eat Turducken on Thanksgiving?

It’s too fowl.

Fowl Play

Where do orphaned chickens and turkeys end up?

Foster Farms

Fowl Joke

Smaller babies may be delivered by Stork, the heavier ones need a Crane, and Swallows deliver none.

Lawyer vs. Water Fowl

What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?







Stick his bill up his Ass

A man bought a parrot but it had a bad attitude and a fowl vocabulary...

He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its dirty language but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer doo...

I just got tackled in a game of football by a bird.

It was a fowl.

Billy got a parrot for his birthday

This parrot was fully grown, with a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Billy tried very hard to change the bird's manners, but nothing worked. Billy was getting really frusturated. He yelled at it and shook it. The bird just got even angrier and yelled fowl language even more. Finally Billy ...

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The Fowl Mouthed Parrot

A woman brought home a parrot from the pound, and discovered, to her dismay that he loved to swear like a sailor.

One day, after being called a juicy bitch one time too many, she grabbed him, and threw him into the freezer, in order to teach him a lesson.

After a few minutes, she opene...

Fowl humor

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.     She had several hundred young
pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.


She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and
was replaced.


This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny be...

What do you call barnyard fowl staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

My wife and daughter made up this joke.

I never use fowl language

I just don't give a cluck

My son is walking through the house, shouting “Duck! Duck! Duck!”

I told him to stop using fowl language.

What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek?

A Peking duck

A man walked into a Star Wars museum

...carrying an old rusted bucket by his side and demanded to know who was in charge.

"What can I help you with today, sir?" asked the confused curator.

"This here is an authentic piece of European history and once belonged to the King of England 1000 years ago."

"But," stutte...

What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their throat?

A turkey and ham sandwich.

I'll see myself out.

Did you hear about the dyslexic boy who cried fowl?

Nobody listened and the wolf ate him.

I hate jokes about chickens.

They're all fowl.

My boss got mad at me for calling a co-worker a chicken.

He said he doesn't tolerate any fowl language.

the fowled experiment

scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the wind...

I recently heard that Turkeys aren't allowed to play baseball.

No matter how many times they hit, they'll always hit Fowl balls.

I wanted to tell a dirty joke about a baby chicken but...

Then I realized it was a little fowl.

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It’s ok if your phone autocorrects “Fuck” to “Duck”

You’re still using Fowl Language.

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what's another name for chicken testicles?

A fowl ball

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I had sex with a turkey. I know what you’re all thinking...

That’s fowl

A little-known college basketball rule is that players are not allowed to own more than five pet chickens.

They will be ejected from a game if they have more than five personal fowls.

Four doctors are sitting in a boat in the reeds, duck hunting.

The family practitioner spots a flock of fowl flying overhead, turns to the specialist and says: "I think those are ducks. I need a second opinion."

The specialist says: "I can schedule you in for a consult in two months."

The surgeon picks up his shotgun. BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!!! Three of t...

Why’d the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the ref was blowing fowls.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

For some fowl reason, probably.

Did you hear that somebody killed a majority of the birds?

It’s a murder of most fowl

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A farmer brought a chicken and a duck to the morning market

A buyer comes along and asks "how much for the chicken?"

The chicken replies "MORE THAN IT COSTS TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER FOR A NIGHT"

The buyer, understandably taken aback, asks the farmer what's up with the chicken.

The farmer replies: "Don't think too much of it. He's just fowl mo...

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A duck walks into a bar and just fucking screams at the barkeep.Give me a fucking jack and coke you fucking stupid ugly motherfucker.

Whoa there partner, capitulates the tender of fine libations...whats with the fowl language?

How do you turn ham into a bird?

Leave it out for a week until it turns fowl

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A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

Why do birds make bad basketball players?

They're always committing fowls.

What do you call evil duck rituals?

Fowl practices!

A duck and a detective are investigating a crime scene.

Duck: It looks like the man was stabbed

Detective : Do you suspect fowl play?

Duck: please focus, there may be a killer on the loose.

Detective: You’re right, I really hope we can quack this case and put it to bread

I got attacked by a goose today.

Needless to say, I used some fowl language.

The police were called to a local playground

The police were called to a local playground with reports of hundreds of chickens running wild there.

They thought it was a prank call at first, but now they suspect fowl play.

Chicken! Duck! Pheasant plucker!

Oh sorry excuse my fowl language.

Chicken Addiction

A guy really wanted to eat chicken. He was craving it for a while and he decided to go get some. But, he didn't want any of the fast food type chicken. So, he decided to cook it himself.

He goes to the butcher to buy it. The butcher gave him a live chicken. The man, surprised, asked the butch...

I tried incubating some chicks but turns out my rooster is sterile.

Oh well.
No harm, no fowl.

What do you call a duck that steals the letters A, E, I, O, and U?

A foul vowel fowl.

Why did the Mallard fail as a comic?

His humor was too fowl.

Do you know why “Chicken Run” was as an marked explicit movie?

It has fowl language

Him "I know we agreed to trade my cheese for your chicken, but I forgot the cheese at home. Will you still give me the chicken?"

Her "Absolutely not! You know what they say: 'No parm, no fowl!'".

A man wanted a chicken of his own to lay fresh eggs for him. He went to a farm supply store that had chickens and tried to buy one, but he was denied because he wasn't a registered farmer. The clerk said, "Sorry sir. . ."

"No farm, no fowl."

You know the story of the ugly duckling?

Pretty fowl story

Why aren't chickens not allowed to enter the church?

Because they only use fowl language.

Why doesnt Dracula attack chickens

Because their blood is fowl

What do you call a group of 10 chickens and 5 crows

A murder most fowl

I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys...

But it was removed because of fowl language.

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A doctor joke

(You May only get if you understand the nature of the different medical specialties)

A surgeon, internist, radiologist, and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time.

They are huddled in the duck blind and the first bird goes flying in front of them, but they can’t clearly make o...

I brought a gun. He brought an army of ducks.

At this point it's just fowl play.

Autocorrect keeps ducking up my joke every time I try to type it here for all of you.

Is it because of the fowl language?

Why didn't the chicken get a kiss goodnight?

Because she had fowl breath.

Why did Little Johnny go to the bird sanctuary?

He was in a fowl mood.

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The priests rooster

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At...

Why don’t church ladies like chicken?

They’re offended by their fowl language.

Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday....

Too much fowl language.

The chicken I had was really bad.

You could say it was because it had a fowl taste.

I was making chicken noises in class

Got a detention for using fowl language

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