This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and fowl (pun intended) vocabulary

He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer door. The par...

Lawyer vs. Water Fowl

What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?







Stick his bill up his Ass

Why do chickens make bad comedians?

Because their jokes are fowl.

Fowl humor

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.     She had several hundred young
pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.


She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and
was replaced.


This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny be...

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Why did the chicken go to the principal's office

it used fowl language

Do you know why “Chicken Run” was as an marked explicit movie?

It has fowl language

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If your phone auto corrects "fuck" to "duck," it's okay to keep it

It's still fowl language

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The Fowl Mouthed Parrot

A woman brought home a parrot from the pound, and discovered, to her dismay that he loved to swear like a sailor.

One day, after being called a juicy bitch one time too many, she grabbed him, and threw him into the freezer, in order to teach him a lesson.

After a few minutes, she opene...

What do you call barnyard fowl staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

My wife and daughter made up this joke.

What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek?

A Peking duck

I never use fowl language

I just don't give a cluck

What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their throat?

A turkey and ham sandwich.

I'll see myself out.

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A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

Did you hear about the dyslexic boy who cried fowl?

Nobody listened and the wolf ate him.

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck.

(it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

What do you call a group of 10 chickens and 5 crows

A murder most fowl

I went to a fowl seller and asked for a nice bird to eat

The salesman asked me if I liked Duckling, I replied, I don't know, I've never duckled!

the fowled experiment

scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the wind...

I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys...

But it was removed because of fowl language.

A man wanted a chicken of his own to lay fresh eggs for him. He went to a farm supply store that had chickens and tried to buy one, but he was denied because he wasn't a registered farmer. The clerk said, "Sorry sir. . ."

"No farm, no fowl."

Autocorrect keeps ducking up my joke every time I try to type it here for all of you.

Is it because of the fowl language?

Why aren't chickens not allowed to enter the church?

Because they only use fowl language.

I brought a gun. He brought an army of ducks.

At this point it's just fowl play.

Why doesnt Dracula attack chickens

Because their blood is fowl

Why did Little Johnny go to the bird sanctuary?

He was in a fowl mood.

My pet duck farts all the time and curses like a sailor

He’s very fowl

The chicken I had was really bad.

You could say it was because it had a fowl taste.

Simon cowell goes to his local football club

He pushes someone over, the ref call : Simon fowl

The duck was singing on the street for money

He got fined for selling quack.

He got an extra fine for using fowl language.

He said put the charges on my bill.

What's the first sign that you have caught bird flu?

Fowl symptoms.

What do roosters have in common with baseball?

Fowl balls.

If you want this chicken you have to punch me as hard as you can in the face. I won't get mad.

No harm no fowl.

I thought 'Chicken Run' was supposed to be a kids film.

But it's full of fowl language.

Reddit keeps suspending me over my chicken joke

They say its to fowl.

I just got in trouble from my parents for yelling "What the duck!"

They told me I'm not to use fowl language

It’s tough to have a conversation with a chicken.

They have very fowl mouths.

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I had sex with a turkey. I know what you’re all thinking...

That’s fowl

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A doctor joke

(You May only get if you understand the nature of the different medical specialties)

A surgeon, internist, radiologist, and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time.

They are huddled in the duck blind and the first bird goes flying in front of them, but they can’t clearly make o...

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A duck walks into a bar and just fucking screams at the barkeep.Give me a fucking jack and coke you fucking stupid ugly motherfucker.

Whoa there partner, capitulates the tender of fine libations...whats with the fowl language?

Whenever I get very angry or if I hurt my self, I shout out the sounds of migratory birds...

...which usually leaves me apologizing to someone for using fowl language.

For the 2020 NFL season, the players will no longer be allowed to keep chickens as pets.

It will be considered a personal fowl.

Why should you never order chicken or duck on a first date?

Because no one wants to kiss someone with fowl breath!

Why don’t church ladies like chicken?

They’re offended by their fowl language.

What do you call a turkey that shows too much cleavage?

A fowl temptress.

Poker game

I was playing poker with my friends Robin and Drake and some of their distant cousins.

There was this one chick who won almost every hand.

I can't be sure but I suspect fowl play.

So my wife made chicken last night and she's mad that I didn't like it

In my defense it tasted fowl.

That's my attempt at a dad joke.

Why'd the chicken cross the basketball court?

The ref was calling fowls.

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A few puns I thought of while trying not to get out of bed

What did the Alabama sister say to her sibling?

"Cum at me bro".



\-

Why did the wild fowl sneak into the girls washroom?

He was a peeking duck



\-

What did the fruit farmer say when asked about his crops?

"It's bananas"



\...

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Why did the horny duck go to the baseball game?

She was trying to catch some fowl balls.

A man walks into a bar

and orders a drink. While he’s waiting, he can’t help but notice the disgruntled looking fellow sitting next to him. In front of him on the bar, is a tiny man in a tuxedo playing a concerto on a tiny piano. Obviously curious, the man asks:

Hey buddy, what’s with the tiny musician?

“H...

A group of friends are eating dinner at a restaurant

They are surprised to realize that their waiter is a duck, however service was good so they couldn't complain. They ask for the check and it comes to decide who pays what. One of them speaks up and says, "I'll foot the bill!" He then proceeds to kick the waiter in the face.

(As the group runs...

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected fowl play.

I was going to tell you a joke about a couple of chicken's...

But I can't because it's.......... Two fowl.

I caught my nephew using "Duck" in place of the F word.

I had to stop him, I know his dad wouldn't approve of such fowl language.

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The priests rooster

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At...

I was making chicken noises in class

Got a detention for using fowl language

My wife is leaving me over my duck puns.

She couldn't stand jokes so fowl.

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I caught my friend having sex with a duck

It was pretty fowl.

I saw a bunch of geese and ducks on the lawn in front of the Tyson processing plant. Initially I thought of how horrible it was that they were there flaunting their freedom to the condemned chickens, but then I thought no.....

it's just fowl behavior.

Dr. Doolittle learned to talk the language of thousands of animals.

But not the language of ducks..

They were just too Fowl.

Why did the duck hunter have no batting average?

All he can hit are fowls.

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One crazy irish hunting trip

A solicitor from Dublin, while hunting in the West, brought down a fowl which landed in a farmer's field. As the lawyer climbed over the wall to retrieve the bird, the elderly owner appeared asking what he was doing. The litigator replied, "I shot that bird y'see lyin there, and now I'm about to pic...

I'm pretty sure my pet birds have been working together to steal my snacks at night.

I'm not 100% but I do suspect fowl play.

Why did she spit out the turkey soup?

She said it had a fowl taste.

>>> joke from the future <<<

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because its teleporter was fowled-up.

What is the most Shakespearean way to eliminate bird flu?

Murder most fowl.

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