A man bought a parrot but it had a bad attitude and a fowl vocabulary...

He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its dirty language but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer doo...

Fowl humor

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.     She had several hundred young
pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.


She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and
was replaced.


This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny be...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If your phone auto corrects "fuck" to "duck," it's okay to keep it

It’s still fowl language

I just got in trouble from my parents for yelling "What the duck!"

They told me I'm not to use fowl language

What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their throat?

A turkey and ham sandwich.

I'll see myself out.

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected fowl play.

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A few puns I thought of while trying not to get out of bed

What did the Alabama sister say to her sibling?

"Cum at me bro".



\-

Why did the wild fowl sneak into the girls washroom?

He was a peeking duck



\-

What did the fruit farmer say when asked about his crops?

"It's bananas"



\...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Fowl Mouthed Parrot

A woman brought home a parrot from the pound, and discovered, to her dismay that he loved to swear like a sailor.

One day, after being called a juicy bitch one time too many, she grabbed him, and threw him into the freezer, in order to teach him a lesson.

After a few minutes, she opene...

What do you call barnyard fowl staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

My wife and daughter made up this joke.

What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek?

A Peking duck

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck.

(it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

I caught my nephew using "Duck" in place of the F word.

I had to stop him, I know his dad wouldn't approve of such fowl language.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the horny duck go to the baseball game?

She was trying to catch some fowl balls.

I saw a bunch of geese and ducks on the lawn in front of the Tyson processing plant. Initially I thought of how horrible it was that they were there flaunting their freedom to the condemned chickens, but then I thought no.....

it's just fowl behavior.

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A duck walks into a bar and just fucking screams at the barkeep.Give me a fucking jack and coke you fucking stupid ugly motherfucker.

Whoa there partner, capitulates the tender of fine libations...whats with the fowl language?

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My bird-lover geneticist uncle successfully crossbred a peacock with a yellow-bellied sapsucker, but they wouldn't let him name the new species.

They said the name he chose was too fowl.

What do you get when you combine a group of crows, a Hitman, and a chicken?

A murder most fowl.

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I had sex with a turkey. I know what you’re all thinking...

That’s fowl

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I caught my friend having sex with a duck

It was pretty fowl.

I was going to tell you a joke about a couple of chicken's...

But I can't because it's.......... Two fowl.

I was making chicken noises in class

Got a detention for using fowl language

the fowled experiment

scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the wind...

I'm pretty sure my pet birds have been working together to steal my snacks at night.

I'm not 100% but I do suspect fowl play.

Why did she spit out the turkey soup?

She said it had a fowl taste.

Dr. Doolittle learned to talk the language of thousands of animals.

But not the language of ducks..

They were just too Fowl.

>>> joke from the future <<<

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because its teleporter was fowled-up.

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Autocorrect keeps replacing “fuck” with “duck”

Either way it’s fowl language

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink.Give me a fucking scotch and soda you sonavabitch.

Jeez why the bad language? asked the barkeep?
Oh sorry I just like to use fowl language.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

Because he heard the ref was blowing fowls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you keep peacocks in a petting zoo

You’ve got to expect some fowl-play.

Donald Duck died not long ago.

Police believe fowl play was involved.

My wife is leaving me over my duck puns.

She couldn't stand jokes so fowl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The priests rooster

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At...

Did you hear about the young bird criminal mastermind?

They call him Artemis Fowl.

What is the most Shakespearean way to eliminate bird flu?

Murder most fowl.

I don't eat pheasant.

Its a little fowl.

Why did the duck hunter have no batting average?

All he can hit are fowls.

A diner ordered the chicken parmesan at a restaurant

Waiter: "Actually the kitchen has run out of parmesan—i’m very sorry, sir ."

Diner: "No parm, no fowl."

I don't understand why people like chicken...

It's just fowl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One crazy irish hunting trip

A solicitor from Dublin, while hunting in the West, brought down a fowl which landed in a farmer's field. As the lawyer climbed over the wall to retrieve the bird, the elderly owner appeared asking what he was doing. The litigator replied, "I shot that bird y'see lyin there, and now I'm about to pic...

A chicken, duck and quail were found dead on a swing set.

The police suspect fowl play

Why don't you take a turkey to church?

Because they have fowl language

Why will Donald Trump pardon his first turkey this year?

Because the bird is accused of fowl play

I want a pet duck

But can't get one in my town without an agricultural permit.

Oh, well. no farm, no fowl.

A man walks into a butcher shop...

A man walks into a butcher shop and asks if the butcher has any duck meat.

The butcher says of course he does, but can only give it on a special condition.

"You can only get the duck if you stab yourself with a butcher's knife" the butcher tells the man.

The man was confused a...

I know a cat who thinks he's a chicken.

I tried to teach him otherwise, but he was in too much of a fowl mood.

What do you call a chicken that drinks too much in the club?

A party fowl.

What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

A murder most fowl.

(I'll see myself out...)

A man goes to confession after bird watching

He says, “Forgive me father, but I have sinned. I went bird watching yesterday and used many bird calls.”

The priest says, “Son, I do not see how what you did was a sin.”

The man replies, “But father, I used fowl language.”

Just ate goose for the first time

It was fowl

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car, moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe.

A man was driving around the countryside in his new sports car moving at speeds that bordered on unsafe. When checking his rear-view mirror he noticed that a small object followed by a trail of dust was closing fast. His curiosity piqued he slowed a bit to get a better look. As the object came into ...

The chicken was acquitted of murder...

... because there was no evidence of fowl-play.

Did you hear about the man who was arrested for molesting a duck?

He was suspected of Fowl Play

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Why did the Hen make her Rooster cross the road?

Because he was using fowl language.

Whats the difference between a murder and Hamlet performed by geese?

Nothing, they're both fowl play

Duck jokes are usually funny...

...but sometimes they're fowl.

How does a chicken do their hair?

With a comb, In one fowl swoop.

An Inspector goes to a Processing Plant

So an inspector goes to a processing plant. He walks up to the manager and says: ‘I hear you keep your animals in horrible conditions. I’m here to write a report.’

The manager gives a cold smile and says: ‘Where would you like to start?’

‘Let’s start with your pigs,’ says the insp...

A chicken walks into a bar

and clucks at the bartender. The bartender says, "No fowl language allowed"

I once agreed to beat a man for three ducks.

When I was younger, I starving and desperate. A mobster offered me three ducks to beat a man. Stomach growling, I agreed.

I found him in a bar. He was talking up a storm, but he was also just so nice. He bought me a drink. We shared a basket of fries. And I just couldn't go through with it. <...

Fact: It is against league rules for an NFL player to own a pet duck.

It's considered a personal fowl.

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