This guy gets a parrot but it's got a bad attitude and fowl (pun intended) vocabulary

He tries everything to change the bird's attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming and then, suddenly, all is quiet. He opens the freezer door. The par...

Fowl humor

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.     She had several hundred young
pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.


She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and
was replaced.


This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny be...

Lawyer vs. Water Fowl

What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?







Stick his bill up his Ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If your phone auto corrects "fuck" to "duck," it's okay to keep it

It's still fowl language

Simon cowell goes to his local football club

He pushes someone over, the ref call : Simon fowl

The duck was singing on the street for money

He got fined for selling quack.

He got an extra fine for using fowl language.

He said put the charges on my bill.

What's the first sign that you have caught bird flu?

Fowl symptoms.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was out taking a stroll when a bird suddenly pooped on me...

I guess you could say that this left me in a fowl mood.

What's fowl and swine, but people can't resist shoving down their throat?

A turkey and ham sandwich.

I'll see myself out.

What do you call barnyard fowl staring at lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

My wife and daughter made up this joke.

I went to a fowl seller and asked for a nice bird to eat

The salesman asked me if I liked Duckling, I replied, I don't know, I've never duckled!

What do roosters have in common with baseball?

Fowl balls.

I thought 'Chicken Run' was supposed to be a kids film.

But it's full of fowl language.

What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek?

A Peking duck

If you want this chicken you have to punch me as hard as you can in the face. I won't get mad.

No harm no fowl.

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The Fowl Mouthed Parrot

A woman brought home a parrot from the pound, and discovered, to her dismay that he loved to swear like a sailor.

One day, after being called a juicy bitch one time too many, she grabbed him, and threw him into the freezer, in order to teach him a lesson.

After a few minutes, she opene...

I never use fowl language

I just don't give a cluck

Did you hear about the dyslexic boy who cried fowl?

Nobody listened and the wolf ate him.

Reddit keeps suspending me over my chicken joke

They say its to fowl.

It’s tough to have a conversation with a chicken.

They have very fowl mouths.

For the 2020 NFL season, the players will no longer be allowed to keep chickens as pets.

It will be considered a personal fowl.

Whenever I get very angry or if I hurt my self, I shout out the sounds of migratory birds...

...which usually leaves me apologizing to someone for using fowl language.

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A doctor joke

(You May only get if you understand the nature of the different medical specialties)

A surgeon, internist, radiologist, and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time.

They are huddled in the duck blind and the first bird goes flying in front of them, but they can’t clearly make o...

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck.

(it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Why aren’t chickens allowed in church?

Because they only use fowl language.

Why should you never order chicken or duck on a first date?

Because no one wants to kiss someone with fowl breath!

the fowled experiment

scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the wind...

I just got in trouble from my parents for yelling "What the duck!"

They told me I'm not to use fowl language

What do you call a turkey that shows too much cleavage?

A fowl temptress.

Star Trek: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Captain Kirk: "To boldly go where no chicken had gone before!"
Spock: "At the time, it seemed the logical thing to do."
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a barnyard psychologist!"
Scotty: "Because it couldna change the laws o' physics!"
Computer: "Insufficient data."

D...

Why don’t church ladies like chicken?

They’re offended by their fowl language.

Poker game

I was playing poker with my friends Robin and Drake and some of their distant cousins.

There was this one chick who won almost every hand.

I can't be sure but I suspect fowl play.

So my wife made chicken last night and she's mad that I didn't like it

In my defense it tasted fowl.

That's my attempt at a dad joke.

Why'd the chicken cross the basketball court?

The ref was calling fowls.

What do you a call a chicken that prevents you from scoring in basketball?

A flagrant fowl

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I had sex with a turkey. I know what you’re all thinking...

That’s fowl

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A duck walks into a bar and just fucking screams at the barkeep.Give me a fucking jack and coke you fucking stupid ugly motherfucker.

Whoa there partner, capitulates the tender of fine libations...whats with the fowl language?

A man walks into a bar

and orders a drink. While he’s waiting, he can’t help but notice the disgruntled looking fellow sitting next to him. In front of him on the bar, is a tiny man in a tuxedo playing a concerto on a tiny piano. Obviously curious, the man asks:

Hey buddy, what’s with the tiny musician?

“H...

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A few puns I thought of while trying not to get out of bed

What did the Alabama sister say to her sibling?

"Cum at me bro".



\-

Why did the wild fowl sneak into the girls washroom?

He was a peeking duck



\-

What did the fruit farmer say when asked about his crops?

"It's bananas"



\...

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected fowl play.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the horny duck go to the baseball game?

She was trying to catch some fowl balls.

I was making chicken noises in class

Got a detention for using fowl language

A group of friends are eating dinner at a restaurant

They are surprised to realize that their waiter is a duck, however service was good so they couldn't complain. They ask for the check and it comes to decide who pays what. One of them speaks up and says, "I'll foot the bill!" He then proceeds to kick the waiter in the face.

(As the group runs...

I caught my nephew using "Duck" in place of the F word.

I had to stop him, I know his dad wouldn't approve of such fowl language.

I was going to tell you a joke about a couple of chicken's...

But I can't because it's.......... Two fowl.

What do you get when you combine a group of crows, a Hitman, and a chicken?

A murder most fowl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I caught my friend having sex with a duck

It was pretty fowl.

I saw a bunch of geese and ducks on the lawn in front of the Tyson processing plant. Initially I thought of how horrible it was that they were there flaunting their freedom to the condemned chickens, but then I thought no.....

it's just fowl behavior.

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The priests rooster

The Priest of a small village was very fond of his flock of ten hens and a cockerel.

He kept them in a hen house behind the parish, but one Saturday night, the cockerel was missing.

The priest, suspecting fowl play decided to say something about it at church the next morning.

At...

My wife is leaving me over my duck puns.

She couldn't stand jokes so fowl.

Dr. Doolittle learned to talk the language of thousands of animals.

But not the language of ducks..

They were just too Fowl.

I'm pretty sure my pet birds have been working together to steal my snacks at night.

I'm not 100% but I do suspect fowl play.

Why did she spit out the turkey soup?

She said it had a fowl taste.

>>> joke from the future <<<

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because its teleporter was fowled-up.

Why did the duck hunter have no batting average?

All he can hit are fowls.

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One crazy irish hunting trip

A solicitor from Dublin, while hunting in the West, brought down a fowl which landed in a farmer's field. As the lawyer climbed over the wall to retrieve the bird, the elderly owner appeared asking what he was doing. The litigator replied, "I shot that bird y'see lyin there, and now I'm about to pic...

What is the most Shakespearean way to eliminate bird flu?

Murder most fowl.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink.Give me a fucking scotch and soda you sonavabitch.

Jeez why the bad language? asked the barkeep?
Oh sorry I just like to use fowl language.

I don't eat pheasant.

Its a little fowl.

Why can't we end world hunger, and have world peace?

No harm, no fowl.

Did you hear about the young bird criminal mastermind?

They call him Artemis Fowl.

A chicken, duck and quail were found dead on a swing set.

The police suspect fowl play

Why will Donald Trump pardon his first turkey this year?

Because the bird is accused of fowl play

I want a pet duck

But can't get one in my town without an agricultural permit.

Oh, well. no farm, no fowl.

What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

A murder most fowl.

(I'll see myself out...)

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The Duck Hunter

Duck hunting season had just opened and Fred traveled to Canada for his yearly hunting trip. On his first day out on the lake he was pretty successful and bagged 3 beautiful water fowls.

On his way back to his cabin for lunch he is stopped by the Game Ranger on his boat. The ranger takes a p...

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