What’s the difference between retail workers and turkeys?

We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.

I made an coronavirus joke while eating turkey.

It was tasteless.

So there's this village on the Black Sea coast in Turkey

Over time a pothole in the road has got so big that people are falling into it and getting injured.

It get so bad that all the villagers get together to decide what to do about the hole in the road.

One of them says, "We should have an ambulance standing by ready to take people to the ...

I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys...

But it was removed because of fowl language.

What's the turkey's favorite letter of the alphabet?

Gobble-You!

Note: my six year old made up this joke.

If Russia were to invade Turkey from behind,

Do you think Greece would help?

turkeys

why did the turkey cross the road twice

to prove he was not a chicken

A Turkey sandwich walked into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don’t serve food here."

How much Turkey should I buy?

I need enough for 12 people and maybe 2 police officers

I shot my first turkey today!!!!

People ran out of the frozen food section in excitement, and even the cops showed up to see!!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

“Whats the Difference between a blowjob and a turkey sandwich?”

“Im not sure”

“We should get lunch sometime!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ever been to a turkey orgy? #NSFW

A cluck’n’fuck

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows."

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown."

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to ...

I used to live in Turkey, China, and Morocco, but I left ...

there were too many red flags.

What’s the capital of turkey?

The stuffing

A man goes to a restaurant and has the most delicious turkey he's ever tasted...

He asks the chef, "How do you prepare the turkeys?"

The chef replies, "Oh, nothing special, we just tell them they're gonna die."

Our oven broke Thanksgiving morning

So we all went cold turkey.

What did the turkey dress up as for Halloween?

Goblin

I managed to shoot my very first turkey today, pretty proud of myself actually..

..though everyone else in the freezer section seemed a bit unhappy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two kids are watching their parents get ready for a family get together…

They overhear the mom and dad talking and they hear them say “that judgy cunt and pompous asshole” while the parents are talking in their bedroom. They ask, what does judgy cunt and pompous asshole mean? The mom, surprised and unaware to their presence, says, “oh never mind that sweethearts, that’s ...

I've been smoking weed for most of my life, and today I quit cold turkey.

I'll make do with the much cheaper chicken cold cuts and put the extra money towards buying more weed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning…

and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!"

Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats."

Oh...

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter during thanksgiving week?

Quack quack.

A turkey farmer was experimenting with ways to make a better turkey.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer announced to his friends, "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Curious Child

It's the night before Thanksgiving and a mom and dad are fighting in the living room. The child comes in, curious about all the yelling.

**"You're an Asshole!"** yells the mom.

**"Mom, whats an asshole?"** asks the child.

**"Men are."** answers the mom.

**"Well, you'...

I quit cold turkey!

Now I only eat hot turkey. Reheat those leftovers people. Happy Thanksgiving!

Why did the turkey sit in a tomahawk?

.





To hatchet

How old do Muslim turkeys need to be before they go to Mecca?

Pilgrim age

i told my family i was going vegan

im quitting cold turkey

What did the turkey say to the US president on Thanksgiving?

I beg your pardon.

Nation dialogue

You know, I was very Hungary one day, so I went to go Czech the fridge. I managed to find some Turkey that was leftover from Thanksgiving, but it was all covered in Greece. So I closed the fridge and Czech'd the pantry. I saw a Canada beans, so I grabbed them and microwaved them, but it exploded. My...

A drunk orders a shot of Wild Turkey....

Sorry sir, we don’t have Wild Turkey only a House bourbon? What can I get you?

I’ll have a shot of Wild Turkey

I’m so sorry sir, we just ran out, how about a Jack Daniels

I’ll have a shot of Wild Turkey

Okay sir, if you can spell Wild Turkey, I’ll get you a shot

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

6 Life Lessons

6 life lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, ...

How will Trump pardon the White House turkey?

Only the white meat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So i saw some people translating jokes so here is a Turkish one. One day a Japanese man walks into a bar in Turkey...

One day a Japanese man walks into a bar in Turkey and challenges everyone in the bar for a fight.

\-Are there anyone who believes he can defeat me ?

Temel gets up and walks to the door saying:

\-I can do it. Let's see what you are made of.

A few minutes later Temel walks ...

Why did you ruin the Thanksgiving turkey at the last minute?

It just wasn't very well thawed out.
(it's bad, but it's mine)

I used to eat cold turkey all the time..

The only way I could stop was to taper off my intake gradually.

A 90 year old just told this: What happens when you drop the turkey out of the oven?

It's the downfall of Turkey and the overflow of grease.

Fowl Play

Where do orphaned chickens and turkeys end up?

Foster Farms

101 ways to stop eating meat...

Number 34: Cold Turkey

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Johnny is a sponge

One night a mother and father get into a heated argument.

"You bitch!" Screams the dad.
"You're a selfish prick" the mom replies.

Their little boy Johnny pipes up with "what do those words mean mommy and daddy?" Thinking quickly the dad says "I was just calling your mother a lady, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man buys a parrot after his wife leaves him

A man's wife leaves him and he is lonely so he decides to go to a pet shop to alleviate his depravity.

He walks into the pet shop and one of the first things he notices is a parrot perched in a cage.

The parrot immediately starts talking "You're wonderful I love you your the greatest I...

What Are We Eating?

A can of tuna has a picture of a tuna fish

A pack of Ham has a picture of a pig

Turkey has a picture of a turkey

Egg carton has a picture of a chicken

Beef has a picture of a cow

Dogfood has a picture of a dog

What do you call a turkey's evil twin?

A Gobblegänger.

Where can you find radioactive turkeys?

Chergobble

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on italian bread, made with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the san...

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

What did Hungary have for dinner?

Greecey Turkey and Rûm

What did the australian say to the undercooked turkey?

Are you all raw?

Did you hear about the guy who suddenly stopped smoking and moved from Istanbul to Singapore last winter?

He quits cold turkey.

Kids said they wanted a cat for Christmas.

Normally we have turkey, but ok...

Turkey can now finally join the EU

Why? Well because now that the UK has left, there's 1 GB of free space

"Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"

Mother : "No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year."

Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?

Cause he likes stabbing things in the back.

What sound does a Turkey make?

"coup coup"

My wife threw a pack of turkey and a lighter in the cart and my God the temptation was strong...

It was just last week that I quit smoking cold turkey

What do you call a turkey that shows too much cleavage?

A fowl temptress.

What did the turkey say to the worn-out shoe?

Cobble cobble cobble

I went turkey hunting recently with my new shotgun...

scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen foods section.

A jockey was riding the favourite at a race meeting, and was well ahead of the field.

His horse rounded the final corner, when suddenly the jockey was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages.

He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence....

A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"

"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

I quit smoking cold turkey

And started putting it on my sandwiches instead.

Today I will eat TURKEY

...and all 80.81 million people in it.

I shot my first Thanksgiving turkey this year.

Scared the hell out of everyone else in the grocery store.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The always makes me laugh

On Thanksgiving day, a little boy overhears his mom and dad fighting. He hears his mom call his dad a bastard and hears his dad call his mom a bitch. He asks, "Mommy, what does bastard mean?" She answers, "Um, it means boy." Then he asks, "Daddy, what does bitch mean?" He says, "Uh, it means girl." ...

The CDC recommends that funeral gatherings be limited to 30 people and holiday gatherings be limited to 6 people.

Funeral proceedings for Gobbles the turkey will be held on November 26th and again on December 25th. Please bring beer to celebrate his life.

My wife was giving me a hard time about drinking too much over the weekend. I finally agreed to quit cold turkey.

I don't much care for leftovers anyway.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

thanksgiving miracle

AN old couple was married for many years,they had a routine in life like we all do ,One of his routines was to wake up and let huge farts in the mornings ,His wife would tell him ,one of these days your gonna shit your guts out your asshole , he would just laugh it off , come thanksgiving morning ...

[From my 8-year-old] What did the Mandalorian say about how to cook the Thanksgiving turkey?

...This is the way.

Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.

*Baste on a True Story.*

Matthew McConaughey walked into a deli to order a sandwich

“What can I get for you?” the shopkeep asked.

Matthew replied, “well my good man, you see I’ve had the good fortune of becoming a world renown celebrity, an academy award winning actor, I’ve played some of the most iconic roles in television history, and I’m even known for my whimsical yet c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A turkey was chatting with a bull "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next say, after eating more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally, ...

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected fowl play.

A man buys a parrot but the only thing it does is insult the man...

After spending hours trying every possible solution to get it to shut up the man decides to put the parrot in the freezer. A few minutes pass and the parrot falls silent. Thinking he might of killed it the man opens the freezer and finds the parrot shivering but alive. “S-s-sorry for i-i-i-insulting...

What’s the difference between a turkey and Turkey?

A turkey wouldn’t commit genocide against innocent people

What do you call a man who lives in Turkey who was not born there.

Turkish

Bill is infatuated with his own farts.

Bill and Mary have been married for a long time.

Bill is infatuated with his own farts. Mary is not, but she tolerates it.

Every morning, as Bill climbs out of bed, he rips an obnoxious fart as he heads to the bathroom.

And every morning Mary tells Bill, “one of these days you’r...

There once was a woman that was married to a man who would make extremely foul and disgusting farts every morning as soon as he woke up.

Every time he did, the woman got angry and told him, “One of these days, Walter, you’re going to fart your guts out!”

One morning, the woman woke up early to cook a turkey for a dinner they were hosting that evening. As she removed the turkey’s entrails, she had an idea to teach her husband a...

My uncle got addicted to deli meat

But I heard he quit cold turkey.

Why did they ask the turkey to join the band?

Because He had the drum sticks.

What did the mother turkey say to the little turkeys on Thanksgiving?

Mind your manners! If your dad could see you now, he‘d roll over in his gravy!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the turkey cross the road?

He didn't. He's an asshole and just stood in front of my car for 5 mins.

Wives are like Thanksgiving Turkeys.

They eventually get fat and then stop gobbling.

I was carving the Thanksgiving turkey and cut my hand. My not so bright brother-in-law ran over and grabbed the bloody wound with his fingers and started twisting it. I screamed “Ouch!! What the hell are you doing!”

He replied, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut”

Why don't they like cheese in Turkey?

Because they despise letting the Kurds have their way.

Why didn't the turkey finish his Christmas dinner?

He was stuffed.

Jesus was worried about drugs plaguing the world.

Jesus was worried about drugs plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to retur...

The country of Turkey is a lot like Little Miss Moffett...

They both have Kurds in their way.

Did you hear what happened to the Turkey that got into a fight?

Apparently he got the stuffing knocked out of him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young boy discovers his first swear words on Thanksgiving Day.

A young boy discovers his first swear words on Thanksgiving Day. After aggravating his mother, he's sent outside to play. In the yard, he overhears his neighbors fighting: "You bitch!" "You bastard!" Astounded, he runs back inside and asks his mother, "Mommy mommy! What is a bitch and bastard?"
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with a turkey. I know what you’re all thinking...

That’s fowl

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's it called when a Pyro masterbates?

A cumbustion.... Happy turkey day

What key has legs and can't open a door?

A Turkey

Why don’t turkeys eat on thanksgiving?

Because they’re stuffed!

An ode to the Canadian Thanksgiving: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I will tell you tomorrow.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.