If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear,

Do you think Greece would help?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough st...

One of my buddies told me a joke about turkeys...

Dont remember how it went, but it was pretty baste

What's the turkey's favorite letter of the alphabet?

Gobble-You!

Note: my six year old made up this joke.

After only a week of dating, my girlfriend broke up with me because she doesn't like my comparisons...

I feel worst than a turkey sandwich on a yacht.

What’s the difference between retail workers and turkeys?

We let the turkey rest on Thanksgiving.

So there's this village on the Black Sea coast in Turkey

Over time a pothole in the road has got so big that people are falling into it and getting injured.

It get so bad that all the villagers get together to decide what to do about the hole in the road.

One of them says, "We should have an ambulance standing by ready to take people to the ...

I shot my first turkey today!!!!

People ran out of the frozen food section in excitement, and even the cops showed up to see!!!!

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“Whats the Difference between a blowjob and a turkey sandwich?”

“Im not sure”

“We should get lunch sometime!”

I tried to post a Thanksgiving joke about turkeys...

But it was removed because of fowl language.

turkeys

why did the turkey cross the road twice

to prove he was not a chicken

A Turkey sandwich walked into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don’t serve food here."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on itallian bread, make with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the sa...

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What three countries did the giant eat?

Got turkey, dipped it in Greece and fried it in Japan.

I used to live in Turkey, China, and Morocco, but I left ...

there were too many red flags.

A Saudi Prince wants to buy a bull, so he goes to see a famous Russian bovine breeder.

The Russian tells him, "I have many good animal. Here is Swedish bull, is born black color, but color turns white when grows."

"Over there is American bull. Color when born is red, but become dark brown when full grown."

"And here, Turkish bull. They is born dark brown, but grow up to ...

Wife: Honey let's play a game. Husband: What is the game all about?

Wife:If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. And if I mention a bird, you will run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you will give me all your salary for the month. Husband: ok. If you fail, I will h...

How much Turkey should I buy?

I need enough for 12 people and maybe 2 police officers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ever been to a turkey orgy? #NSFW

A cluck’n’fuck

I managed to shoot my very first turkey today, pretty proud of myself actually..

..though everyone else in the freezer section seemed a bit unhappy.

A round earth fact to a flat-earther is…

…like what thanksgiving is to a turkey

I used to work at a deli…

But I quit slicing cold turkey.

I've been smoking weed for most of my life, and today I quit cold turkey.

I'll make do with the much cheaper chicken cold cuts and put the extra money towards buying more weed.

What did the turkey dress up as for Halloween?

Goblin

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter during thanksgiving week?

Quack quack.

A drunk orders a shot of Wild Turkey....

Sorry sir, we don’t have Wild Turkey only a House bourbon? What can I get you?

I’ll have a shot of Wild Turkey

I’m so sorry sir, we just ran out, how about a Jack Daniels

I’ll have a shot of Wild Turkey

Okay sir, if you can spell Wild Turkey, I’ll get you a shot

...

A man goes to a restaurant and has the most delicious turkey he's ever tasted...

He asks the chef, "How do you prepare the turkeys?"

The chef replies, "Oh, nothing special, we just tell them they're gonna die."

On my cake day, I went to the Doctor and was told that my love of deli meats was going to kill me.

I had to quit cold turkey.

Fire Sale!

Our corner deli had a fire last week. They were right back in business the next day, though, selling smoked ham, smoked turkey, smoked cheeses....

I quit cold turkey!

Now I only eat hot turkey. Reheat those leftovers people. Happy Thanksgiving!

Why did the turkey sit in a tomahawk?

.





To hatchet

A turkey farmer was experimenting with ways to make a better turkey.

After many frustrating attempts, the farmer announced to his friends, "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"

They all asked the farmer how it tasted.

"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So i saw some people translating jokes so here is a Turkish one. One day a Japanese man walks into a bar in Turkey...

One day a Japanese man walks into a bar in Turkey and challenges everyone in the bar for a fight.

\-Are there anyone who believes he can defeat me ?

Temel gets up and walks to the door saying:

\-I can do it. Let's see what you are made of.

A few minutes later Temel walks ...

Why did you ruin the Thanksgiving turkey at the last minute?

It just wasn't very well thawed out.
(it's bad, but it's mine)

How old do Muslim turkeys need to be before they go to Mecca?

Pilgrim age

A 90 year old just told this: What happens when you drop the turkey out of the oven?

It's the downfall of Turkey and the overflow of grease.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On thanksgiving day, a boy overheard his parents callling each other names.

He heard his dad called him mum a bitch and his mum called his dad a bastard. The boy asked his parents what the two words meant, and they said bitch means girl and bastard means boy.

Later that day, his dad is shaving in the bathroom; he then accidentally cuts himself and says shit. The boy ...

What did the turkey say to the US president on Thanksgiving?

I beg your pardon.

I used to eat cold turkey all the time..

The only way I could stop was to taper off my intake gradually.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning…

and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!"

Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is “dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks " what’s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats."

Oh...

What do you call a turkey's evil twin?

A Gobblegänger.

Where can you find radioactive turkeys?

Chergobble

Turkey can now finally join the EU

Why? Well because now that the UK has left, there's 1 GB of free space

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

6 Life Lessons

6 life lessons

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, ...

What sound does a Turkey make?

"coup coup"

I was Hungary so Iran to the store to get some Turkey

Which I cooked in Greece, and served with a side of Chile, which I ate with my friends Jordan and Chad. Sudanly we had Togo because we were Ghana get in trouble because we didn’t Finnish paying. But I’ve Benin trouble before, there was Norway they were going to catch me, I Congo much faster than the...

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead... (Long)

A blonde, brunette, and redhead construction workers are sitting and eating their lunches. Upon opening their lunchboxes, each sighs.

"Ham and cheese again?" Says the brunette "if I have to eat one more ham and cheese sandwich, I'll kill myself!"

"Turkey again?" Says the redhead "if ...

What did the australian say to the undercooked turkey?

Are you all raw?

Nation dialogue

You know, I was very Hungary one day, so I went to go Czech the fridge. I managed to find some Turkey that was leftover from Thanksgiving, but it was all covered in Greece. So I closed the fridge and Czech'd the pantry. I saw a Canada beans, so I grabbed them and microwaved them, but it exploded. My...

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Johnny is a sponge

One night a mother and father get into a heated argument.

"You bitch!" Screams the dad.
"You're a selfish prick" the mom replies.

Their little boy Johnny pipes up with "what do those words mean mommy and daddy?" Thinking quickly the dad says "I was just calling your mother a lady, ...

I shot my first Thanksgiving turkey this year.

Scared the hell out of everyone else in the grocery store.

What do you call a turkey that shows too much cleavage?

A fowl temptress.

Today I will eat TURKEY

...and all 80.81 million people in it.

Kids said they wanted a cat for Christmas.

Normally we have turkey, but ok...

What did the turkey say to the worn-out shoe?

Cobble cobble cobble

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man buys a parrot after his wife leaves him

A man's wife leaves him and he is lonely so he decides to go to a pet shop to alleviate his depravity.

He walks into the pet shop and one of the first things he notices is a parrot perched in a cage.

The parrot immediately starts talking "You're wonderful I love you your the greatest I...

Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?

Cause he likes stabbing things in the back.

What Are We Eating?

A can of tuna has a picture of a tuna fish

A pack of Ham has a picture of a pig

Turkey has a picture of a turkey

Egg carton has a picture of a chicken

Beef has a picture of a cow

Dogfood has a picture of a dog

I went turkey hunting recently with my new shotgun...

scared the hell out of everyone in the frozen foods section.

I quit smoking cold turkey

And started putting it on my sandwiches instead.

My wife threw a pack of turkey and a lighter in the cart and my God the temptation was strong...

It was just last week that I quit smoking cold turkey

101 ways to stop eating meat...

Number 34: Cold Turkey

Fowl Play

Where do orphaned chickens and turkeys end up?

Foster Farms

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy and his dad were driving in a car,

when they were pulled over by the police. “Wankers” the Dad said after they were back on the road. The boy asked “what does wankers mean?” The dad said “It means police”

When they got home the Dad went upstairs and the boy went into the kitchen. His mother was in the kitchen stuffing a turkey...

What did Hungary have for dinner?

Greecey Turkey and Rûm

"Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"

Mother : "No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year."

Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected fowl play.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the turkey cross the road?

He didn't. He's an asshole and just stood in front of my car for 5 mins.

A lady walked into a tattoo parlor and said, "Can you do a tattoo of a turkey on my right inner thigh and one of a Christmas tree on my left inner thigh?"

"Sure,* the tattoo artist said. "But if you
don't mind me asking, why did you choose
those two designs?"
The lady smiled. "My husband' she explained. "He says there's never anything to eat
between Thanksgiving and Christmas!"

What’s the difference between a turkey and Turkey?

A turkey wouldn’t commit genocide against innocent people

What do you call a man who lives in Turkey who was not born there.

Turkish

My wife was giving me a hard time about drinking too much over the weekend. I finally agreed to quit cold turkey.

I don't much care for leftovers anyway.

Did you hear about the guy who suddenly stopped smoking and moved from Istanbul to Singapore last winter?

He quits cold turkey.

[From my 8-year-old] What did the Mandalorian say about how to cook the Thanksgiving turkey?

...This is the way.

Coming to Theaters: The thrilling tale of a man who cooked biographical books like turkey on Thanksgiving.

*Baste on a True Story.*

What did the mother turkey say to the little turkeys on Thanksgiving?

Mind your manners! If your dad could see you now, he‘d roll over in his gravy!

Wives are like Thanksgiving Turkeys.

They eventually get fat and then stop gobbling.

The CDC recommends that funeral gatherings be limited to 30 people and holiday gatherings be limited to 6 people.

Funeral proceedings for Gobbles the turkey will be held on November 26th and again on December 25th. Please bring beer to celebrate his life.

I became a naval cook because I wanted to see the world!

But so far, I’ve only seen China, Turkey and Greece.

The country of Turkey is a lot like Little Miss Moffett...

They both have Kurds in their way.

Who is Turkey's Minister of Propaganda?

Joesph Gobbles

Why don't they like cheese in Turkey?

Because they despise letting the Kurds have their way.

I was carving the Thanksgiving turkey and cut my hand. My not so bright brother-in-law ran over and grabbed the bloody wound with his fingers and started twisting it. I screamed “Ouch!! What the hell are you doing!”

He replied, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with a turkey. I know what you’re all thinking...

That’s fowl

Why don’t turkeys eat on thanksgiving?

Because they’re stuffed!

What do you call a dead Armenian in turkey?

Never happened.

What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?

Copy and basting

An ode to the Canadian Thanksgiving: How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I will tell you tomorrow.

Bill is infatuated with his own farts.

Bill and Mary have been married for a long time.

Bill is infatuated with his own farts. Mary is not, but she tolerates it.

Every morning, as Bill climbs out of bed, he rips an obnoxious fart as he heads to the bathroom.

And every morning Mary tells Bill, “one of these days you’r...

Why doesn’t Trump like Turkey?

Too much dark meat.

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