How did the poultry farmer become wealthy?

He sold all his chicken stock

I lost everything investing in poultry

That’s what you get for putting your money in chicken stock.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A priest owns poultry

A cock is missing.
He runs around looking for it and reaches the sunday mass, where he asks - anyone has a cock? All men say yes.
No, no he says, I mean has anyone seen a cock, rephrasing? All women say yes.
No no he says, now agitated, has anyone seen my cock! All the nuns raise t...

While browsing the poultry market, the clerk asked me if I would like try some goose...

...I told him no thanks, I was just gonna take a gander.

There are suspicions the coronavirus may have been transmitted to humans from poultry.

Investigators think it may have originated inside eggs.

They are now scrambling to confirm if that's true.

My girlfriend said I need to stop eating frozen poultry for every meal or she was leaving me.

I said, "I'll try but I don't think I can quit cold turkey."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prostitute's tax files....

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

"Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." Says the accountant.

He gets her name, address etc. And then asks,"What's your occupation?" "I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accou...

What kind of tree does a chicken grow on?

A poultry.

(came up with that in the shower)

Who’s your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?

Brine Atoms

I decided to change my diet; I’m starting to eat hot poultry sandwiches.

I’m quitting cold turkey.

What do you call a chicken that moves ever so gracefully?

Poultry in motion

What kind of poultry is good at dancing?

A twerkey!

Apologies for the awful joke. Thought of it this morning and it made me laugh for an unreasonable length of time.

If you have two hundred chickens, you have a poultry farm.

If you have two chickens, you have a paltry farm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Last night for Fathers Day I drove home from college to have dinner with my dad...

He asked me if I had chosen a major and I said yes, that I'm learning about agriculture and domestic animal husbandry.

"Have they taught you about roosters yet?"

Actually, yes, it came up in my poultry farming class.

"How many legs does a black rooster have?"

Two, I answe...

Don't trust the farmer! The poultry he advertised was far better than the produce he sold!

When I challenged him, he only apologised for giving me a misleading egg-sample.

My grandfather died and I inherited some of his clothes.

He was a poultry farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens. My grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens on them.

Afte...

I was working in poultry and a women held up a package and asked me, "When does the chicken expire?"

"At the factory, when they cut its head off."

An slow witted poultry farmer says to his friend, "If can guess how many chickens I have in this bag...

...I'll give them both to you!".

We've got the meats

If meat and seafood is surf and turf, does that make meat seafood and poultry surf turf and away?

What haunts a chicken coop?

A poultry-geist!

What is the most popular Canadian poultry restaurant?

Chic-fil, eh?

What do you call a chicken on rollerblades?

Poultry in motion.

Sorry, just thought of that. And...
I will not think anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there was this horny chicken who loved to fuck!

His owner was so sick of him, he finally sold him to a poultry farm.

Within a day of arriving he fucked each and every hen available there..

The new owner was shocked by the sight of it.

Next day he found the horny chicken has fucked each and every pig available at the farm!...

Yesterday I was working on the farm when I saw a bunch of chickens just strutting around...

It was like poultry in motion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Word spread quickly that a meat shipment was inbound from Moscow, in the Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic.

Sure enough, in the early hours of Monday morning the line outside State Food Store no. 46 was already over two hundred people long, many whispering excitedly about poultry and sausages, despite the dark, bitterly cold morning. After hours of waiting, and still before sunrise, the Commissar came out...

My 8 year old son wrote this...

What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a father decides to give his so $1 to get laid...

So the old farmer decided his son was of age. The brothel in town had a tradition that a young man could have his first evening with a lady for only $1. So the farmer gives his boy $1 and sends him to town.

Well the boy makes it to the brothel. He gets welcomed by a talented older lady, pays ...

What do you call a haunted heb house?

A poultry geist .

I had a job counting chickens, but I quit.

It only paid a poultry sum.

What are battles between birds called?

Poultry Slam

Seen on a gas station board

What is a ghostly turkey called?

A poultry-geist

Sometimes me and my friends get together to talk about chicks

It's a poultry slam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farmer goes to market

A poor country farmer needed to get grain for his cow, so he decided to take a rooster and a hen to the local market for trade. He got on his donkey, and his wife handed him the poultry, one held tightly in each of his arms. The donkey was stubborn, but a few scratches behind the ears by his wife go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a man with a MASSIVE cock, looking for a woman...

...with a large hen, to talk about the poultry industry.

Elderly Couple Go to Heaven Together

They both arrive at the pearly gates together and meet Saint Peter, who says "Let me show you around" He pointed to a mansion and said "That will be your house, located next to the country club." The old man asks, "and how much will that cost?" St Peter replies, "oh there's no charges, it's free,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hillbilly goes to see a doctor.

The doctor tells him he contracted some pretty nasty STDs. And asks him how he might have gotten them.

"I know how I gots em, it's salmonella. From sleeping in the chicken coop."

"Sir. These are all sexually transmitted diseases people have. You can't catch them from poultry, no matt...

A farmer decided to sell all of his chickens to the highest bidder...

It was poultry in auction

A chicken walks into a bar

A chicken walks into a bar.

Bartender: "We don't serve poultry"

Chicken: "Don't worry I'm only feeling a bit peckish"

Bartender: "No, I mean we don't serve birds"

Chicken: "Why?"

Bartender: "You might run the place afoul"

Chicken: "But my wing-man is a duck"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. ‪#suckit‬ ‪#nohomo‬ ‪#somehomo‬ ‪#yeshomo‬

Ki...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.