What do you get from sensitive poultry?

Chicken Tenders

I decided to change my diet; I’m starting to eat hot poultry sandwiches.

I’m quitting cold turkey.

What happened to the guy who sold the secrets of the US poultry association?

He was ostrichacized

What kind of poultry is good at dancing?

A twerkey!

Apologies for the awful joke. Thought of it this morning and it made me laugh for an unreasonable length of time.

Who’s your favourite Canadian music icon that also practices advanced culinary technique which enhances the flavour of poultry at the atomic level?

Brine Atoms

If you have two hundred chickens, you have a poultry farm.

If you have two chickens, you have a paltry farm.

I have a serious addiction to frozen poultry...

... I'm trying to quit cold turkey

Don't trust the farmer! The poultry he advertised was far better than the produce he sold!

When I challenged him, he only apologised for giving me a misleading egg-sample.

I was working in poultry and a women held up a package and asked me, "When does the chicken expire?"

"At the factory, when they cut its head off."

An slow witted poultry farmer says to his friend, "If can guess how many chickens I have in this bag...

...I'll give them both to you!".

What is the most popular Canadian poultry restaurant?

Chic-fil, eh?

What do you call someone who raises poultry?

A chicken tender.

What do you call a chicken on rollerblades?

Poultry in motion.

Sorry, just thought of that. And...
I will not think anymore.

Yesterday I was working on the farm when I saw a bunch of chickens just strutting around...

It was like poultry in motion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there was this horny chicken who loved to fuck!

His owner was so sick of him, he finally sold him to a poultry farm.

Within a day of arriving he fucked each and every hen available there..

The new owner was shocked by the sight of it.

Next day he found the horny chicken has fucked each and every pig available at the farm!...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Word spread quickly that a meat shipment was inbound from Moscow, in the Russian Soviet Federated Socialist Republic.

Sure enough, in the early hours of Monday morning the line outside State Food Store no. 46 was already over two hundred people long, many whispering excitedly about poultry and sausages, despite the dark, bitterly cold morning. After hours of waiting, and still before sunrise, the Commissar came out...

I watched the chicken cross the road the other day...

it was poultry in motion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The tax return

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."

He gets her name, address etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.
<...

What are battles between birds called?

Poultry Slam

What do you call a ghost who scares chickens?

A poultry-geist....

My 8 year old son wrote this...

What do you call the ghost of a chicken that haunts people in their homes?

A poultry-geist.

Seen on a gas station board

What is a ghostly turkey called?

A poultry-geist

I had a job counting chickens, but I quit.

It only paid a poultry sum.

If apples grow on an apple tree, where do chickens grow?

A poultry

What do you call a disease that paralyzes half of a chickens face?

Bells Poultry

Sometimes me and my friends get together to talk about chicks

It's a poultry slam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farmer goes to market

A poor country farmer needed to get grain for his cow, so he decided to take a rooster and a hen to the local market for trade. He got on his donkey, and his wife handed him the poultry, one held tightly in each of his arms. The donkey was stubborn, but a few scratches behind the ears by his wife go...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a father decides to give his so $1 to get laid...

So the old farmer decided his son was of age. The brothel in town had a tradition that a young man could have his first evening with a lady for only $1. So the farmer gives his boy $1 and sends him to town.

Well the boy makes it to the brothel. He gets welcomed by a talented older lady, pays ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a man with a MASSIVE cock, looking for a woman...

...with a large hen, to talk about the poultry industry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hillbilly goes to see a doctor.

The doctor tells him he contracted some pretty nasty STDs. And asks him how he might have gotten them.

"I know how I gots em, it's salmonella. From sleeping in the chicken coop."

"Sir. These are all sexually transmitted diseases people have. You can't catch them from poultry, no matt...

Elderly Couple Go to Heaven Together

They both arrive at the pearly gates together and meet Saint Peter, who says "Let me show you around" He pointed to a mansion and said "That will be your house, located next to the country club." The old man asks, "and how much will that cost?" St Peter replies, "oh there's no charges, it's free,...

A farmer decided to sell all of his chickens to the highest bidder...

It was poultry in auction

A chicken walks into a bar

A chicken walks into a bar.

Bartender: "We don't serve poultry"

Chicken: "Don't worry I'm only feeling a bit peckish"

Bartender: "No, I mean we don't serve birds"

Chicken: "Why?"

Bartender: "You might run the place afoul"

Chicken: "But my wing-man is a duck"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. ‪#suckit‬ ‪#nohomo‬ ‪#somehomo‬ ‪#yeshomo‬

Ki...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.