Why was the protein powder maker never satisfied with his work?

He always kept looking for new wheys to improve

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

What are Mexican proteins made of?


A man smokes some weed and goes to buy some protein powder

He gets to the store but realizes that protein powder is super expensive. He decides to steal it, as it was a high whey robbery

Someone asked me if I wanted a protein bar.

I said no Whey.

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?

No whey Jose.

My love life is a lot like a protein bar

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me

My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”

I was at the grocery store deciding if I should buy a $40 jug of whey protein

So I asked my friend, to which he replied:"Just btw"

My nutrition store ran out of protein powder today

I was like “no whey”!

What's the difference between a hormone and any other protein?

My fingers can't make any other protein.

What did the weight lifter say after he bought the wrong protein powder?

No whey.

The Mexican instructor at the gym knew a lot about protein supplements.

So one day, I approached him and said,

"Jesus, show me the whey."

What did the weightlifter say when he ran out of protein supplement?

No whey

What do you call protein with attitude?

A mean-o acid.

This morning I told my wife we were out of protein powder. She replied.....

No Whey

What do you call an Arab man who drinks protein supplements?

A Protein Sheikh....

What happened to the body builder who lost their protein powder?

They lost their whey

What do you call a 12 year old protein?

A pretein

what do you call it when you use milk to make protein drinks?


I can't believe plant-based protein powder exists

There's no whey

I'll never run out of protein powder

There'd be no whey!

My lifting buddy was shocked when I told him that we were out of protein powder.

He said "No whey!"

I'll be here all night.

What is the opposite of a protein?

An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor put me on an extremely strict diet of fruit, vegetables, and protein.

My wife’s totally behind it, but I’m allowed one cheat-day so on Mondays when we go to her family’s I nip out into the orchard and fuck her sister.

Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.

I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."

Protein shakes are really expensive....

Whey expensive.

Why was the protein self-conscious?

Because of how much it wheys

Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

Why do bodybuilders get huge when they consume protein?

Because they eat whey too much

A bodybuilder drops his protein shake

Everyone in the gym shouts "Wheyyyyy"

What is the top selling protein with Jewish People (May be offensive)


What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!

My roommate seemed like he was in denial when I told him I spilled all his protein powder...

...he just kept saying "no whey, no whey"

Why are proteins so bad at poker?

They always fold.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I went to get a protein snack in Iraq...

But they only had fucking allahu akbars

Teacher asked us today, "What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?"

You can't hear a protein.

(Wait for it)

I found a spider in my protein powder today

I politely asked him to get out of my whey.

TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport...

The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"

I replied "No, only guns."

How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?

You've had whey too much!

What did the Arab leader drink every day to build muscle mass?

A protein sheikh.

A Russian spy meets the minister of defence...

The Russian minister of defence calls Boris Morozov, the best spy in Russia, to infiltrate the American army and find out why they excel so much in combat.

"Understood" says Boris. " I will infiltrate the US army for a year and then I will come back to motherland with findings"

And so...

What’s the best part about having a vegan girlfriend?

Nuts are her favorite source of protein

A guy walks into a coffee shop

He orders a coffee. The barista asks him if he'd like milk or cream. He responds "I'm allergic to the protein in milk." The barista replies "No whey?"

What's the other word for meatball?

Protein sphere

An aging hotel inspector was performing his final inspection on a luxury hotel before his retirement.

He had arrived at the joint the day before, and had already slept in a room to analyze how clean and comfortable they were. When he had woken up, he went into the bathroom to check its functionality and cleanliness, and continued on to the main dining hall after.

Upon arrival, he saw they we...

Tips while f***ing :

• Keep f***ing periods short

• Stay hydrated

• Stop f***ing if u feel unwell

• Eat enough protein

• Consider **supplements**

• Keep **exercise** mild

• F***ing isn't for everyone

*So remember to follow these tips while Fasting*

Why is it called a prion?

Because "protein" got misspelled when it was folded the wrong way.

Did you hear about the arabian body builder who built a business empire?

They called him the protein sheikh

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

Calm down sir, it's the near future and insects are our only sustainable protein source.

(cautionary joke)

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"

"Whats that?"

"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for som...

My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom

This morning we synthesised a new protein chain

[Long] A scientist is giving keynote speech about dissolvable food for babies

"Imagine if we lived in a world where you no longer had to worry about your children eating and getting food stuck in their airways...'

Gasps of amazement come from the crowd

"Imagine if they could still enjoy all of their favourite foods without any danger and don't need to be constan...

What do you call a meat knife?

A protein shank.

What's the difference between a slab of meat and someone who hates high school students?

One's protein, the other's anti-teen.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead Take a Trip to the Desert and Can Only Bring one Item With Them

While they are walking through the sand, the redhead says, "I brought a jug of water! In case I get thirsty, I'll drink it." She then looks at the brunette and asks her what she brought.

The brunette says, "I brought a protein bar with me. In case I get hungry, I'll eat it!" She then turns to...

Two Mexican body builders

have devoted their lives to power-lifting and they just found out that certain protein supplements have become illegal. Just as one was about to sip on his protein shake, the other smacks it out of his hand and yells: "No whey, Jose!"

Sean Bean is walking down the street

Heard you guys like long OC.


Sean Bean is walking down the street, enjoying his Sunday night. Suddenly, a black paneled van pulls up next to him. Four massive dudes in ski masks wearing all black leap out and try to grab him. Sean remembers his GoT training and manages to ta...

I was going to use the new machine in the gym

But I found out it only sold protein bars

What is a Mexican bodybuilder's favorite supplement?

Güey protein.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Mexicans eat so many beans?

Because they're versatile, a good value, and contain lots of protein you racist fuck.

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