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Protein Jokes

What are Mexican proteins made of?

Amigo-acids
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My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.
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What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey José.
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What do you call a 12 year old protein?

A pretein
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Proteins fold…

Yes, but can they do a fitted sheet?
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What is the opposite of a protein?

An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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What do you call an Arab man who drinks protein supplements?

A Protein Sheikh....
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The Mandalorian fell on hard times and had to take a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets. He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say...

..."This is the whey"



(Sorry)
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Would i ever consider taking protein supplements?

No whey
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Why did the body builder buy expired protein powder?

There was no other whey.
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I hear Grasshopper meat is a great source of protein; sustainable, and you can eat them cold!

Locusts, on the other hand, have to be swarmed up first.
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The lesser-known fourth Wise Man brought baby Jesus the gift of protein powder.

It was a whey in a manger.
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A bodybuilder asked his doctor: "what's better, whey protein, or pea protein?"

"Weigh protein, of course!" replied the doctor. "For one thing, weighing protein isn't a potential sign of kidney failure."
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Did you folks hear about the protein shake factory explosion in Uganda?

There was nothing left but *de whey*
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My uncle recently overdosed on protein powder

What a whey to go
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I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."
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Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance
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What did the crippled protein say to the other protein?

I just got out of the ER man, it was pretty rough.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor put me on an extremely strict diet of fruit, vegetables, and protein.

My wife’s totally behind it, but I’m allowed one cheat-day so on Mondays when we go to her family’s I nip out into the orchard and fuck her sister.

I had a falling out with my friend over a protein powder

We decided to go our separate wheys
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My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.
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Protein shakes are really expensive....

Whey expensive.
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I'll never run out of protein powder

There'd be no whey!
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A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.

When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
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What do call a Hispanic fella that ran out of protein powder?

No-whey Jose.
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I asked my Mandalorian friend if his protein powder was soy, and he answered:

“This is the whey.”
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Bodybuilder: is there somewhere I can get protein shake around here?

Satan:There is no whey in hell, dude.
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My love life is a lot like a protein bar

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me
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What did the bodybuilder say when he saw the store had sold out of protein powder?

No whey!
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I bought a protein shake the other day

and couldn’t get it open :/
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Someone asked me if I wanted a protein bar.

I said no Whey.
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I just shot my protein all over my desk, pants, floor and my sheets nearby even though my hand was covering the tip.

Note to self, don't mix whey protein with sparkling water, it will explode.
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I can't believe plant-based protein powder exists

There's no whey
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I was going to buy a load of whey protein powder today.

It's always better to buy it in bulk.
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What's the difference between a hormone and any other protein?

My fingers can't make any other protein.
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I learned the Mandalorian stays ripped by drinking his own brand of protein powder.

This Is The Whey
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The Mexican instructor at the gym knew a lot about protein supplements.

So one day, I approached him and said,

"Jesus, show me the whey."
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Why do bodybuilders get huge when they consume protein?

Because they eat whey too much
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I found a spider in my protein powder today

I politely asked him to get out of my whey.
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A bodybuilder drops his protein shake

Everyone in the gym shouts "Wheyyyyy"
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Weightlifting forums are the worst when it comes to getting information and advice on protein.

There's always some meathead a-hole that has to whey in.
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Wrote my second joke ever, would like some feedback

Three lumberjacks; Sam, Dave, and Ben; are felling trees when a bear approaches them. Sam says "stay back or we'll kill you with our axes!" The bear responds, "woah! I'm a proud vegetarian. I just wanted to offer you all a nicely cooked dinner since you've all been working so hard and are probably h...
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Teacher asked us today, "What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?"

You can't hear a protein.

(Wait for it)
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My roommate seemed like he was in denial when I told him I spilled all his protein powder...

...he just kept saying "no whey, no whey"
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Two dead bodybuilders meet each other in hell

Dude 1: Hey there man, you know where I can get a protein shake around here?


Dude 2: There’s no whey in hell
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what do you call it when you use milk to make protein drinks?

Milky-Whey.
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A man smokes some weed and goes to buy some protein powder

He gets to the store but realizes that protein powder is super expensive. He decides to steal it, as it was a high whey robbery
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Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.
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I want an after workout snack but forgot to get more protein powder.

Oy whey
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What do you say to an old woman with a jug of protein?

No one ma'am should have all that powder
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My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom

This morning we synthesised a new protein chain
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a fitness blog and a porn site?

One's all about proteins, whilst the other is more about amateur teens

I was at the grocery store deciding if I should buy a $40 jug of whey protein

So I asked my friend, to which he replied:"Just btw"
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What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!
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How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?

You've had whey too much!
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A man walks into a juice bar and orders a smoothie. The Mexican behind the counter says "would you like to add any milk protein?"

The man responds, "No whey Jose."
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My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"

"Whats that?"

"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for som...

TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport...

The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"

I replied "No, only guns."
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A redhead, brunette and blonde woman are walking aimlessly through an endless desert

The redhead said to the others, "I'm glad we all were smart and brought one item that will help us stay safe if we get lost in the desert. I brought a big canteen of water as mine. If I get thirsty, I'll have that to drink."

The brunette then chimes in and says, "great idea! For my one item, ...
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Did you know that when ants are young, they have small appendages at the ends of their legs?

They lose them as they get larger, and they also begin to produce the same proteins found in milk.


They lack toes in taller ants.
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What do landlords contribute to society?

A great source of protein
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is common between a porn actress and the covid virus

They love to be covered in protein.

Why is it called a prion?

Because "protein" got misspelled when it was folded the wrong way.
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Two bros were chatting it up at the gym between sets.

1: hey bro, you won’t believe it.
2: what, bro?
1: someone stole all my protein powder
2: no whey!
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What’s the best part about having a vegan girlfriend?

Nuts are her favorite source of protein
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What did the Arab leader drink every day to build muscle mass?

A protein sheikh.
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[Long] A body builder was showing off in the mirror at his gym.

Able to lift twice the weight of anyone else around, he routinely boasted about how he was the greatest and everyone else was beneath him while drinking his huge container of protein shake.

One day, after seeing a new extremely attractive woman at the gym, he decided to show off some more by...
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Men are more susceptible to the covid19 coronavirus

Men could be more susceptible to Covid-19 because testicular tissue generates proteins the virus likes to latch onto.

It's got you by the balls.
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What's the other word for meatball?

Protein sphere
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Some guys wake up and pump iron...

I wake up and pump protein.

Told my wife that this afternoon after getting lucky this morning. I think her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

I'll probably be working out solo for a while.
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