The 68+ Best Protein Jokes

What are Mexican proteins made of?

Amigo-acids

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

The Mandalorian fell on hard times and had to take a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets. He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say...

..."This is the whey"

(Sorry)

What do you call an Arab man who drinks protein supplements?

A Protein Sheikh....

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?

No Whey José.

Would i ever consider taking protein supplements?

No whey

I hear Grasshopper meat is a great source of protein; sustainable, and you can eat them cold!

Locusts, on the other hand, have to be swarmed up first.

A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.

When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.

What do you call a 12 year old protein?

A pretein

Why did the body builder buy expired protein powder?

There was no other whey.

A bodybuilder asked his doctor: "what's better, whey protein, or pea protein?"

"Weigh protein, of course!" replied the doctor. "For one thing, weighing protein isn't a potential sign of kidney failure."

What is the opposite of a protein?

An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Did you folks hear about the protein shake factory explosion in Uganda?

There was nothing left but *de whey*

What did the bodybuilder say when he saw the store had sold out of protein powder?

No whey!

I just shot my protein all over my desk, pants, floor and my sheets nearby even though my hand was covering the tip.

Note to self, don't mix whey protein with sparkling water, it will explode.

The lesser-known fourth Wise Man brought baby Jesus the gift of protein powder.

It was a whey in a manger.

Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor put me on an extremely strict diet of fruit, vegetables, and protein.

My wife’s totally behind it, but I’m allowed one cheat-day so on Mondays when we go to her family’s I nip out into the orchard and fuck her sister.

I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."

My uncle recently overdosed on protein powder

What a whey to go

I had a falling out with my friend over a protein powder

We decided to go our separate wheys

What do call a Hispanic fella that ran out of protein powder?

No-whey Jose.

I asked my Mandalorian friend if his protein powder was soy, and he answered:

“This is the whey.”

Wrote my second joke ever, would like some feedback

Three lumberjacks; Sam, Dave, and Ben; are felling trees when a bear approaches them. Sam says "stay back or we'll kill you with our axes!" The bear responds, "woah! I'm a proud vegetarian. I just wanted to offer you all a nicely cooked dinner since you've all been working so hard and are probably h...

A man walks into a juice bar and orders a smoothie. The Mexican behind the counter says "would you like to add any milk protein?"

The man responds, "No whey Jose."

I learned the Mandalorian stays ripped by drinking his own brand of protein powder.

This Is The Whey

Bodybuilder: is there somewhere I can get protein shake around here?

Satan:There is no whey in hell, dude.

Weightlifting forums are the worst when it comes to getting information and advice on protein.

There's always some meathead a-hole that has to whey in.

I was going to buy a load of whey protein powder today.

It's always better to buy it in bulk.

Biochemistry Joke: A disordered protein is found dead in an alley in what appears to be a random murder

“What a shame”, says the police officer
“Another crime without motif”

My love life is a lot like a protein bar

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me

What's the difference between a hormone and any other protein?

My fingers can't make any other protein.

The Mexican instructor at the gym knew a lot about protein supplements.

So one day, I approached him and said,

"Jesus, show me the whey."

I'll never run out of protein powder

There'd be no whey!

My lifting buddy was shocked when I told him that we were out of protein powder.

He said "No whey!"

I'll be here all night.

Protein shakes are really expensive....

Whey expensive.

Teacher asked us today, "What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?"

You can't hear a protein.

(Wait for it)

I bought a protein shake the other day

and couldn’t get it open :/

I was at the grocery store deciding if I should buy a $40 jug of whey protein

So I asked my friend, to which he replied:"Just btw"

Someone asked me if I wanted a protein bar.

I said no Whey.

My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”

I want an after workout snack but forgot to get more protein powder.

Oy whey

My roommate seemed like he was in denial when I told him I spilled all his protein powder...

...he just kept saying "no whey, no whey"

Why do bodybuilders get huge when they consume protein?

Because they eat whey too much

what do you call it when you use milk to make protein drinks?

Milky-Whey.

A man smokes some weed and goes to buy some protein powder

He gets to the store but realizes that protein powder is super expensive. He decides to steal it, as it was a high whey robbery

I can't believe plant-based protein powder exists

There's no whey

Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.

What do you say to an old woman with a jug of protein?

No one ma'am should have all that powder

I found a spider in my protein powder today

I politely asked him to get out of my whey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a fitness blog and a porn site?

One's all about proteins, whilst the other is more about amateur teens

Two dead bodybuilders meet each other in hell

Dude 1: Hey there man, you know where I can get a protein shake around here?

Dude 2: There’s no whey in hell

What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!

A bodybuilder drops his protein shake

Everyone in the gym shouts "Wheyyyyy"

What did the one protein drink say to the other protein drink?

I'd best be on my whey.

My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom

This morning we synthesised a new protein chain

How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?

You've had whey too much!

Did you know that when ants are young, they have small appendages at the ends of their legs?

They lose them as they get larger, and they also begin to produce the same proteins found in milk.

They lack toes in taller ants.

TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport...

The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"

I replied "No, only guns."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Man who could only Drink Milk

I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He'd run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he'd started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"

"Whats that?"

"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for som...

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What kind of Bees produce milk?

There is no creature for which this is more true than the honey bee. Amazingly, queen bees are genetically exactly identical to worker bees. But they’re fed a different diet from worker bees their whole lives, from the time they are tiny larvae, until the day they die. This different meal plan cause...

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

What do landlords contribute to society?

A great source of protein

A redhead, brunette and blonde woman are walking aimlessly through an endless desert

The redhead said to the others, "I'm glad we all were smart and brought one item that will help us stay safe if we get lost in the desert. I brought a big canteen of water as mine. If I get thirsty, I'll have that to drink."

The brunette then chimes in and says, "great idea! For my one item, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I went to get a protein snack in Iraq...

But they only had fucking allahu akbars

An aging hotel inspector was performing his final inspection on a luxury hotel before his retirement.

He had arrived at the joint the day before, and had already slept in a room to analyze how clean and comfortable they were. When he had woken up, he went into the bathroom to check its functionality and cleanliness, and continued on to the main dining hall after.

Upon arrival, he saw they we...

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