What are Mexican proteins made of?

Amigo-acids

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

Weightlifting forums are the worst when it comes to getting information and advice on protein.

There's always some meathead a-hole that has to whey in.

A man walks into a juice bar and orders a smoothie. The Mexican behind the counter says "would you like to add any milk protein?"

The man responds, "No whey Jose."

What did the body builder say when someone stole all his protein powder?

No Whey! Not a gain!

Why was the protein powder maker never satisfied with his work?

He always kept looking for new wheys to improve

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who’s run out of protein?

No whey Jose.

What do you call someone who is scared of the protein which carries oxygen throughout the blood?

A hemophobe

I hate playing poker with proteins

All they do is fold!

I learned the Mandalorian stays ripped by drinking his own brand of protein powder.

This Is The Whey

I was going to buy a load of whey protein powder today.

It's always better to buy it in bulk.

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What's the difference between a fitness blog and a porn site?

One's all about proteins, whilst the other is more about amateur teens

Two bodybuilders are having a conversation in Hell.

Man 1: “Hey dude, do you think there is anywhere down here where I could get a protein shake?”

Man 2: “Dude, there’s no whey in Hell.”

Nerdy cell pickup lines

- These were some of my biology notes from freshman year. I actually remembered the functions from these jokes

Are u a golgi apparatus? Cause I need help processing my feelings for u

Are we proteins in a golgi apparatus? Cause we’re being shipped

I hope you aren’t a controsome c...

A Bodybuilder Enters Hell

After a full day of hard labor, he asks Satan , "Hey man, is there somewhere I can get a protein shake around here?".


Satan replies, " There's no whey in hell!!! ".

What is the opposite of a protein?

An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Someone asked me if I wanted a protein bar.

I said no Whey.

A man smokes some weed and goes to buy some protein powder

He gets to the store but realizes that protein powder is super expensive. He decides to steal it, as it was a high whey robbery

Biochemistry Joke: A disordered protein is found dead in an alley in what appears to be a random murder

“What a shame”, says the police officer
“Another crime without motif”

Men are more susceptible to the covid19 coronavirus

Men could be more susceptible to Covid-19 because testicular tissue generates proteins the virus likes to latch onto.

It's got you by the balls.

What do you call a muscular Arab?

Protein Sheikh.

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What is common between a porn actress and the covid virus

They love to be covered in protein.

My love life is a lot like a protein bar

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me

The Mexican instructor at the gym knew a lot about protein supplements.

So one day, I approached him and said,

"Jesus, show me the whey."

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My doctor put me on an extremely strict diet of fruit, vegetables, and protein.

My wife’s totally behind it, but I’m allowed one cheat-day so on Mondays when we go to her family’s I nip out into the orchard and fuck her sister.

I was at the grocery store deciding if I should buy a $40 jug of whey protein

So I asked my friend, to which he replied:"Just btw"

My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”

My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.

Two bros were chatting it up at the gym between sets.

1: hey bro, you won’t believe it.
2: what, bro?
1: someone stole all my protein powder
2: no whey!

I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."

Protein shakes are really expensive....

Whey expensive.

What do you call a 12 year old protein?

A pretein

what do you call it when you use milk to make protein drinks?

Milky-Whey.

Why was the protein self-conscious?

Because of how much it wheys

What did the crippled protein say to the other protein?

I just got out of the ER man, it was pretty rough.

A redhead, brunette and blonde woman are walking aimlessly through an endless desert

The redhead said to the others, "I'm glad we all were smart and brought one item that will help us stay safe if we get lost in the desert. I brought a big canteen of water as mine. If I get thirsty, I'll have that to drink."

The brunette then chimes in and says, "great idea! For my one item, ...

Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

I'll never run out of protein powder

There'd be no whey!

My lifting buddy was shocked when I told him that we were out of protein powder.

He said "No whey!"

I'll be here all night.

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Get it done in one.

Chad is at the gym doing reps with his buddy when he reaches down and grabs his protein drink, gives it one big-hard, strenuous heave of a shake, then gently pops open the lid and takes a swig, sets it down and goes back to his routine.

"What the fuck was that?" asks his buddy.

"Well y...

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There was a vulture who had a rebellious son.

He would preen his feathers so they stood up, hang out with raccoons, and generally be a nuisance to the rest of the flock. Thinking that it was just a phase, his father didn't worry too much about it and hoped that one day his son would grow up.

However, one day his son came home with terrib...

Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.

A bodybuilder drops his protein shake

Everyone in the gym shouts "Wheyyyyy"

Some guys wake up and pump iron...

I wake up and pump protein.

Told my wife that this afternoon after getting lucky this morning. I think her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

I'll probably be working out solo for a while.

Why do bodybuilders get huge when they consume protein?

Because they eat whey too much

My roommate seemed like he was in denial when I told him I spilled all his protein powder...

...he just kept saying "no whey, no whey"

Teacher asked us today, "What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?"

You can't hear a protein.

(Wait for it)

What is the top selling protein with Jewish People (May be offensive)

YahWhey

How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?

You've had whey too much!

I found a spider in my protein powder today

I politely asked him to get out of my whey.

A Russian spy meets the minister of defence...

The Russian minister of defence calls Boris Morozov, the best spy in Russia, to infiltrate the American army and find out why they excel so much in combat.

"Understood" says Boris. " I will infiltrate the US army for a year and then I will come back to motherland with findings"

And so...

What did the Arab leader drink every day to build muscle mass?

A protein sheikh.

What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!

What’s the best part about having a vegan girlfriend?

Nuts are her favorite source of protein

What's the other word for meatball?

Protein sphere

An aging hotel inspector was performing his final inspection on a luxury hotel before his retirement.

He had arrived at the joint the day before, and had already slept in a room to analyze how clean and comfortable they were. When he had woken up, he went into the bathroom to check its functionality and cleanliness, and continued on to the main dining hall after.

Upon arrival, he saw they we...

A guy walks into a coffee shop

He orders a coffee. The barista asks him if he'd like milk or cream. He responds "I'm allergic to the protein in milk." The barista replies "No whey?"

My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom

This morning we synthesised a new protein chain

Why is it called a prion?

Because "protein" got misspelled when it was folded the wrong way.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"

"Whats that?"

"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for som...

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport...

The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"

I replied "No, only guns."

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

Calm down sir, it's the near future and insects are our only sustainable protein source.

(cautionary joke)

Sean Bean is walking down the street

Heard you guys like long OC.

 

Sean Bean is walking down the street, enjoying his Sunday night. Suddenly, a black paneled van pulls up next to him. Four massive dudes in ski masks wearing all black leap out and try to grab him. Sean remembers his GoT training and manages to ta...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Long] A scientist is giving keynote speech about dissolvable food for babies

"Imagine if we lived in a world where you no longer had to worry about your children eating and getting food stuck in their airways...'

Gasps of amazement come from the crowd

"Imagine if they could still enjoy all of their favourite foods without any danger and don't need to be constan...

What do you call a meat knife?

A protein shank.

What's the difference between a slab of meat and someone who hates high school students?

One's protein, the other's anti-teen.

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