Why was the protein powder maker never satisfied with his work?

He always kept looking for new wheys to improve

What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who ran out of protein?

No whey Jose

I was at the grocery store deciding if I should buy a $40 jug of whey protein

So I asked my friend, to which he replied:"Just btw"

My nutrition store ran out of protein powder today

I was like “no whey”!

My friend told me about a wonder food that he discovered that contains protein, fiber, and good fats

"That's nuts!" I exclaimed.

My friend told me he can’t drink milk. I asked him if he is lactose intolerant. He said he is actually allergic to the milk protein.

I said “No whey!”

What are Mexican proteins made of?


The Mexican instructor at the gym knew a lot about protein supplements.

So one day, I approached him and said,

"Jesus, show me the whey."

My love life is a lot like a protein bar

I'm typically the better option, but everyone chooses junk food instead of me

What's the difference between a hormone and any other protein?

My fingers can't make any other protein.

What do you call protein with attitude?

A mean-o acid.

What did the weight lifter say after he bought the wrong protein powder?

No whey.

I asked my son if he wanted plant protein blends.

He said no whey dad

What happened to the body builder who lost their protein powder?

They lost their whey

This morning I told my wife we were out of protein powder. She replied.....

No Whey

What do you call an Arab man who drinks protein supplements?

A Protein Sheikh....

I'll never run out of protein powder

There'd be no whey!

what do you call it when you use milk to make protein drinks?


I can't believe plant-based protein powder exists

There's no whey

What do you call a 12 year old protein?

A pretein

What did the crippled protein say to the other protein?

I just got out of the ER man, it was pretty rough.

What do you call it when you steal your roommates protein powder while stoned?

High Whey Robbery

I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.

They told him, "No whey, José."

Why was the protein self-conscious?

Because of how much it wheys

What is the opposite of a protein?

An amateur teen ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

My lifting buddy was shocked when I told him that we were out of protein powder.

He said "No whey!"

I'll be here all night.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor put me on an extremely strict diet of fruit, vegetables, and protein.

My wife’s totally behind it, but I’m allowed one cheat-day so on Mondays when we go to her family’s I nip out into the orchard and fuck her sister.

My personal trainer told me to drink a protein shake everyday at 3 in the morning.

But that's whey past my bedtime.

Forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today

Guess I should've prepared whey in advance

A bodybuilder drops his protein shake

Everyone in the gym shouts "Wheyyyyy"

Protein shakes are really expensive....

Whey expensive.

Does anyone believe the bodybuilder who claims he never used protein suppliments?

No whey.

Why do bodybuilders get huge when they consume protein?

Because they eat whey too much

What do you say to an old woman with a jug of protein?

No one ma'am should have all that powder

What is the top selling protein with Jewish People (May be offensive)


What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!

My roommate seemed like he was in denial when I told him I spilled all his protein powder...

...he just kept saying "no whey, no whey"

Why are proteins so bad at poker?

They always fold.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I went to get a protein snack in Iraq...

But they only had fucking allahu akbars

How do you know you're drinking too many protein shakes?

You've had whey too much!

I found a spider in my protein powder today

I politely asked him to get out of my whey.

TIFU by trying to be witty at the airport...

The TSA confiscated my protein powder asking "Are you planning on building any bombs with this substance?"

I replied "No, only guns."

Teacher asked us today, "What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?"

You can't hear a protein.

(Wait for it)

Tips while f***ing :

• Keep f***ing periods short

• Stay hydrated

• Stop f***ing if u feel unwell

• Eat enough protein

• Consider **supplements**

• Keep **exercise** mild

• F***ing isn't for everyone

*So remember to follow these tips while Fasting*

Aye yo I heard yo Mama on that seafood diet

And that seafood is an excellent source of top quality protein, which has helped lower her cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease.

A guy walks into a coffee shop

He orders a coffee. The barista asks him if he'd like milk or cream. He responds "I'm allergic to the protein in milk." The barista replies "No whey?"

Science jokes!

A proton walks into a bar. Strolls up to the bartender and says "I don't care what you serve me, but I want the most expensive drink you offer."

The bartender looks at him quizzically. "You sure about that, buddy?"

**"I'm positive."**

A cute little neutron walks in right after ...

What's the other word for meatball?

Protein sphere

An aging hotel inspector was performing his final inspection on a luxury hotel before his retirement.

He had arrived at the joint the day before, and had already slept in a room to analyze how clean and comfortable they were. When he had woken up, he went into the bathroom to check its functionality and cleanliness, and continued on to the main dining hall after.

Upon arrival, he saw they we...

What’s the best part about having a vegan girlfriend?

Nuts are her favorite source of protein

Why is it called a prion?

Because "protein" got misspelled when it was folded the wrong way.

Did you hear about the arabian body builder who built a business empire?

They called him the protein sheikh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy asks his dad "Where does poo come from?"

His father is taken aback by the question but decides to give his son the facts straight up.

"Well son," he says, "food passes down the esophagus by peristalsis. It enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal. This contracts the protein befo...

Some engineers were arguing about God.

One says, "God was clearly a mechanical engineer. Just look at the structure of the bones, how they're shaped to carry their loads without wasted weight, how the joints interlock to give free movement, how the muscles are optimally placed as actuators with the best leverage."

The second repli...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"

"Whats that?"

"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for som...

My girlfriend said we should experiment more in the bedroom

This morning we synthesised a new protein chain

Sean Bean is walking down the street

Heard you guys like long OC.


Sean Bean is walking down the street, enjoying his Sunday night. Suddenly, a black paneled van pulls up next to him. Four massive dudes in ski masks wearing all black leap out and try to grab him. Sean remembers his GoT training and manages to ta...

[Long] A scientist is giving keynote speech about dissolvable food for babies

"Imagine if we lived in a world where you no longer had to worry about your children eating and getting food stuck in their airways...'

Gasps of amazement come from the crowd

"Imagine if they could still enjoy all of their favourite foods without any danger and don't need to be constan...

What do you call a meat knife?

A protein shank.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I like my women how I like my... (compilation)

...wine, locked up in a box.

...wine, white and young.

...wine, 12 years old and stored in my basement.

...booze, cheap and filled with alcohol.

...original Xbox, 8 years old, overheats when used a lot, and it sucks every time.

...creationists, braindead and on the...

What's the difference between a slab of meat and someone who hates high school students?

One's protein, the other's anti-teen.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead Take a Trip to the Desert and Can Only Bring one Item With Them

While they are walking through the sand, the redhead says, "I brought a jug of water! In case I get thirsty, I'll drink it." She then looks at the brunette and asks her what she brought.

The brunette says, "I brought a protein bar with me. In case I get hungry, I'll eat it!" She then turns to...

Two Mexican body builders

have devoted their lives to power-lifting and they just found out that certain protein supplements have become illegal. Just as one was about to sip on his protein shake, the other smacks it out of his hand and yells: "No whey, Jose!"

I was going to use the new machine in the gym

But I found out it only sold protein bars

What is a Mexican bodybuilder's favorite supplement?

Güey protein.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Mexicans eat so many beans?

Because they're versatile, a good value, and contain lots of protein you racist fuck.

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