If smoking Marijuana causes short term memory loss,

what does smoking Marijuana do?

What is the number one cause of dry skin?

Towels.

Shoutout to my grandpa

Cause that's the only way he can hear.

My Wife wore a "Vaccines cause autism" shirt

She was insulted, punched and spit on

Not to imagine what would have happened if she left the house!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having too much sex can cause memory loss!

I read it on page 34, line 15 in a medical journal on may 23, 2009 at 11:58 AM .

Scientists found out that the cause for the California earthquake was not a divine retribution but simply a banana peel.

Your mom slipped over it.

Children in the backseat can cause accidents...

but accidents in the backseat can cause children.

Scientists recently discovered something in the air that causes women to become pregnant -

Their legs

Suspect: I’m innocent! He died of natural causes.

Police: There was clear evidence that you pushed him off the roof.

Suspect: Well, gravity is natural.

Vaccines are a disgusting evil to society that cause mental and physical deformities. That’s why I’m the proud anti-vaxx mother of 5 beautiful children.

Edit 1: 4 beautiful children

Edit 2: 3 beautiful children

Edit 3: 2 beautiful children

What was the cause of the musicians death? (don't know if it's been posted before)

Organ failure

What's an anarchist's most likely cause of death?

Prostate cancer

Using marijuana can cause memory loss.

Or even worse, memory loss

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At school PE was my favorite class, probably cause I had the biggest cock. I used to stroll around the changing room naked, flicking kids with my towel, laughing at their little knobs...

Looking back I think that's probably why I had to leave teaching.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chronic masturbation can cause memory attacks and loss of ire.

Or something like that, why don't you go fuck yourself?

I raise chickens humanely, and I only eat the ones that die from natural causes.

Rocks are natural, right?

If you get an email that says canned ham can cause swine flu..

Just delete it because it's Spam

Hey girl, are you a parking ticket?

Because I picked you up on the street, and now I can't afford to pay you.

I named my printer Bob Marley...

Because it's always jammin'...

:D

Girl, are you a 3D movie?

Because you're too expensive and giving me a headache.

Son : Why's my sister called Teresa?

Dad : Cause your mom and I love Easter, it's an anagram

Son : Oh wow that's pretty cool

Dad : I know Alan

For anybody who doesn't believe vaccines cause autism...

My Douglas was vaccinated and is now nearly five years old. He has still not learned to speak a single word, cannot dress himself and is not even able to use the toilet.

Don't let vaccines ruin your dog's life too.

Took my chameleon to the vet cause he stopped changing colors.

Doctor says he has a reptile disfunction.

I found out how vaccines cause autism,

Vaccinated kids live long enough to be diagnosed with autism.

Learned today what causes high tides.

Sea weed.

You know about that rumor, that vaccines cause autism?

Don't worry, it'll die down in around three years or so.

Studies say obesity is the main cause of erectile dysfunction

Time to get joggin’ ladies

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently taking too much Viagra can affect your IQ and cause aggressive behavior.

But the fuck I care about some crappy Apple products anyways

Authorities don't know the cause of the Notre Dame fire

but Quasimoda has a hunch

heard from a friend this am. not mine

Which vegetable causes cars to die quickly?

*Car***rot**

**Haha!**

Recent study shows leading cause of dehydration in children:

Bedtime.

What causes black-belt heart attacks?

Karated arteries

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had a girlfriend who thought certain tastes and smells could cause her to orgasm.

Then she came to her senses.

What do you call when a Russian cause a delay?

Stalin for time.

Why do fat people cause earthquakes

Because they’re always moving plates

My girlfriend broke up with me cause I stole her wheelchair

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

My wife didn't speak to me for 3 days last week and I haven't got a clue what I did to cause it.

Which is a shame because I'd like to do it again next week.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my Manager today I could not come in cause I have "Anal Blindness.”

He asked, "What is Anal Blindness?" I told him, "It is me not seeing my ass coming to work."

All of the parents who claim that vaccines cause autism have nothing to be afraid of.

You can't get autism twice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Immigrants are good cause they do jobs no American wants to do

Like fucking the president.



\-Jeff Ross

Baby Boomers grow up around a lot of lead paint. Lead paint causes long term mental effects like antisocial behavior, short attention span, and reduced brain development.

And there we have explained Donald Trump

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fred Phelps, leader of Westboro Baptist Church, found dead in home surrounded by piles of partially chewed food. Cause of death: starvation. Next to his body was a note in his own handwriting

"Can't swallow cause that's gay"

What causes menstruation?

Typically it's just an ovaryaction.

I went to an unpopular drug seller. He told me I couldn't have any drugs cause he was out of stock.

It wasn't a big deal.

What causes Paul Walker and Microsoft Windows to crash?

Bad drivers

What is it called when starvation causes brain damage?

A hungry hungry hippocampus!

Everyone tells you that smoking causes disease

But do they tell you that it cures salmon?

I finally figured out what vaccines actually cause!

Adults

Medical accidents are now the third leading cause of death in America.

And as it happens accidents are also the leading cause of life worldwide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By then end of my lifetime, I will have cause tens of thousands of ejaculations.

Single-handedly.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dr. Watson is performing an autopsy. Holmes ask if he’s found the cause of death.

Watson: It would appear the decedent had a bowel obstruction. It caused a rupture in the intestinal wall, creating a septic condition and ultimately, death.

Holmes: Wait, John, are you saying he died of...

Watson: No Shit, Sherlock.

What was Captain Hook's cause of the death?

Itchy balls...

You know that urge to eat something just cause its there?

Well i lost my job as a gynecologist today.

How did the vaccine cause autism?

It didn't

Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Did you know there is a condition that causes ones hair to be soft and healthy

The condition is called "er," but most people call it conditioner

When I was drinking my coffee, I heard on the radio that caffeine causes memory loss.

Yeah, right. Next time, they're probably gonna say that caffeine causes memory loss.

A kiss from what would cause the end of the world?

Alpaca Lips

I have a fear of dying from unnatural causes.

I mean think about it like this, two guys are in heaven are talking about how they died.

Guy 2: How'd you die man?

Guy 1: Well after a strong 88 years, I decided I'd let myself succumb to the cancer I had been battling for 11 years. What about you?

Guy 2: Giant nuclear laser bla...

Fox News has determined the cause of the recent plane crash.

It was the left wing.

Mom, I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cause it was fake.

"Oh, how did you know it was fake?"

"It had an extra zero."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.

I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

TIL HIV can cause hearing loss.

I guess the patients must have hearing aids.

Did you know that members of the KKK thought that being touched by a person of color would cause cysts?

They were called race cysts.

A new study proves that beavers cause extensive flooding

I've read it. The evidence against them is damning.

I've started wearing a bike helmet, cause I find safety important. Now people stare and make fun of me.

I'll never go to that spinning class again.

A man buys a pack of cigarettes, warning label on the pack says: Smoking causes impotence.

The man gives it back and says "WTF is this? Give me the one that causes lung cancer instead."

Some people cause happiness wherever they go

while some, whenever they go

Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while

Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

What swear words cause the most suffering?

"I do."

I had an appointment with my eye doctor cause I thought I was going blind.

Something came up so I couldn’t see him today.

I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle vodka, put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...

...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...

What's the main cause of emigration in Ethiopia?

The wind

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife sais she's leaving me cause I exaggerate too much

I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock!

Do you think the ocean is salty cause the land never waves back?

I'd be salty too

caution: high altitudes under certain conditions can cause a bloody nose

Like on Mt. Shasta I heard a guy saying, "I just wanted to show people that it's possible to do things like hiking and Crossfit on a vegan diet, and besides I needed something to do after I retired at 30 on my Bitcoin investments" so I punched him in the nose.

Doctor: "I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol."

Doctor: "I am not exactly sure of the cause. I think it could be due to alcohol."

Patient: "That's ok. I will come back when you are sober."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex.

Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hope when I'm older that my cause of death will be constipation.

That way people will know that I didn't give a shit all the way to the end.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I read that heavy alcohol consumption causes severe liver damage. That scared the crap out of me.

So I've given up reading completely.

A guy told his neighbor "Close the window when you sleep with your wife cause I saw you yesterday"

His neighbor laughed and said " I wasn't even home yesterday dumbass!"

What do you need to cause a railway accident in Mexico?

A loco-motive.

There's a new keyboard shortcut in GTA V which if you press it will cause your character to kill minorities.

Alt-right

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw a woman driver cause an accident today.

She indicated that she was turning right and then actually fucking turned right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Researchers have discovered that excessive masturbation can cause dyslexia.

However, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The true cause of the holocaust

Hitler was eating breakfast at a diner. When the server came, Hitler ordered scrambled eggs, pancakes, and a glass of juice. When his food came, he got his scrambled eggs, pancakes and glass of water. He asked the waiter," excuse me, where is my juice?" The waiter replied,"My apologies, your request...

What is a common cause of vertigo?

Verticome

Cats don’t cause mental illness, new study finds

They’re just a symptom of it

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