How do you create a school shooting at a black school?

Call the cops.

How to create your very own Bermuda triangle?

1. Surround yourself with relatives.
2. Submerge in their expectations. Watch all your hopes and dreams disappear!



PS:- Extra effective if you are Asian, especially Indian!

Edit : True Story.. I am an Indian and I approve this >\_<

I had to create a report on how wind energy is produced

It was a breeze

Why did God create Adam before Eve?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it

Create Your Own Fun

I went to the store the other day. I was only in there for about five minutes. When I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a senior a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a name, he g...

it is my dream to create a performance entirely based on puns about invertebrates

and it will be called 'a play on worms'

How do you create tension?

I’ll tell you tomorrow

Why did God create women?

Because Y not

If America changed from pounds to kilograms overnight, would it create..

mass confusion?

Create new password: Tomato

Confirm new password: Tomato

Error: Passwords don’t match

If i create a Java class public Class Woman{}

Am I objectifying women?

What banner phrase did the art sculptures create to christen their upcoming race?

“Finish line or BUST!”

A scientist is asked by the government to create the first teleporter.

Knowing that this will be an incredibly hard task, the scientist devotes every day to the task, until they have created the teleporter.

First, the scientist discovers that titanium and sulfur, when combined create a metal that would make a great base and projector for the teleporter, so they ...

I had to give up on my idea to create the world’s smallest flamethrower.

It was burning a hole in my pocket.

I’m going to create a political institution based on eliminating vaccines. I’ll call it...

The Donner Party

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet–Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland."

When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. A voice calls out, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."

Have you heard of the artist that creates beautiful artwork by dipping his girlfriend in paint and dragging her across a canvas?

He always paints with a broad brush.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I want to create a machine that would smash two boners together at nearly the speed of light.

I'll call it the Large Hard-on Collider

My friend told me that he could create a biological electric current to run through a capacitor.

I said, "weird flux but ok."

Trying to create a decent graph of my data but some mystery guy keeps adding more samples to it.

The plot thickens.

McDonald's tried to create a beef version of the McRib, but failed.

Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.

My dream is to create a bioengineering startup that solves world hunger by developing a self-replicating noodle

Laugh now, but one day you're going to see my Copy Pasta everywhere.

Why did God create women?

Because hopes and dreams cannot crush themselves.

Quick, you have ten minutes to create an absolute vacuum

no pressure

A man exclaims, "I would die to fulfill my quest.. to create the perfect grain blend. I would make..

..the ultimate sack of rice."

One day I'll create a cure for blindness

You'll see.

Why can't God create another God?

Because it's human job.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Animals in the forest have a meeting. The bear as the chief of the forest decides to create an outhouse and they immediatelly built it.

The next day the outhouse has broken window.

So the Bear called everyone and said:

Who knows something about that?

A squirel put her arm up and says:

"I know something about that.."

"I was jumping from a branch to a branch and suddenly the wolf took me, clean his a...

Some people think Trump hasn't done much to create jobs

Who do you think is giving all these lawyers so much work?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children

They'll go viral in no time.

Farmers these days need to feed their cows marijuana to create a better tasting steak than their competitors

It seems these days the steaks could never be higher.

So God creates Adam...

...and soon after he notices that Adam is lonely.

God says "Do not fear, my child. For I will create a partner to accompany you and man from this time forth. She will be known, as a woman."

God continues "She will be obedient, loyal, passionate and nurturing."

Adam hesitates..<...

Barbies create unrealistic expectations of women

No woman's head reattaches THAT easily in my experience

A group of scientists and engineers teamed up to create the best and more responsive set of Breaks and Tires. That's like 120 km/h to 0 km/s in 2 seconds...

... now they need to create the strongest windshield.

I'm trying so hard to create a LEGO joke.

But the pieces just won't go together.

How do you create a space party?

You planet

I’m working on a top secret project using honey to create alcohol

It’s on a mead to know basis.

We need to stop mixing races. By doing so it creates people with an unfair advantage when it comes to competition.

No matter how hard I try I still can't outrun a Nascar.

How many rich people does it take to create a superhero?

Three: two to die, and one to never get over it.

A brilliant inventor creates a brand new type of leather.

This leather is such an amazing product, the inventor is convinced he's made his legacy. He starts a company that manufactures clothes made out of this new leather material, and it instantly becomes a massive success. Everybody went crazy for their products, and the company's leather jeans in parti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of the sexual maneuver called the "Reverse Hitler"?

It's where you ejaculate inside of an anus. i.e. create 6 million lives in a gas chamber.

Why did Zuckerberg create Facebook?

He couldn't pass the captcha for Myspace.

What would you need to create if you wanted to attract and dominate over an entire community of BDSM enthusiasts?

A Subreddit.

I want to create a cook book that can raise the dead

I'll call it the Necronomnomicon

What did god say when humans learned to create artificial life?

“Repost!!”

My dream job is to be someone who creates mirrors

Because I can really see myself doing that

Why did God create Adam before he created Eve?

So no one would tell him how to make Adam.

I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.

I'll call it Leper-Con.

Half price admission for the wee folk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

two old men are arguing about history and the spendors of athens and rome.

the Greek man says "Look, all I'm saying is that the Greeks invented everything the Romans get credit for!"

The Italian says "Yes, may be, but the Romans improved it and made it useful!"

The Greek man says "We invented the Democracy!"

The Italian says "We realized the challenge ...

Would you agree that it’s bad for Facebook to steal users’ blood and use it to create a clone army?

That’s an interesting question that I’ll have to discuss further with our team. Did you know I started this company in my dorm room?

Reddit creates a joke.

Ill start with one word and comment to create a joke in order.

One

I think I'm going to create procrastinators anonymous

Eh I'll do it tommorow.

Reddit should all come together and create a film starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep about a newspaper uncovering a US government cover up.

It would be the greatest rePost of all time.

Someone should create a programming lànguage called 'March'...

...just so we could have IDEs for it.

A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and thats how all mankind was made..'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. He answered, Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and s...

Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day?

After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un asked a well known North Korean composer to create a piece for him

The composer had many months to find people to play, and to write a piece. Once it was performed on stage, it sounded terrible. The players werent synchronized, and they were all playing the wrong notes. That night the composer was set to be executed.

Before the composer was put in the electr...

While my city sleeps, I create history...

...In the morning, I delete all of it!

what did al gore use to create the internet

al-gore-rithms

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Gods decided to create trees...

The land was barren with nothing but muddy ground, rock formations, some small creatures and a pair of humans. So the Gods decided to create 2 trees to live as partners. The female tree was named Eva and the male Lee. As all other forms of life around, the trees were naked.

Eva was not conten...

God creates Adam

God creates Adam and it was good. After some time God realizes Adam needs a companion and says to him, "Adam, I have decided to give you a companion. I will give you a woman who will love you and live to please you. She will be intelligent, witty, and above all beautiful. She will cook your meals, w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Challenge: Change one letter in a move title to create a whole new blockbuster

Examples:

Pooper: BRUCE WILLIS finds out the hard way just how dangerous time travel can be.

Tar Trek: WILLIAM SHATNER's quest to go where no man has gone before to make Canada a major oil producer.

Gone with the Wine: Nicholas Cage drinks himself to death in the old south.
<...

Let's create some jokes, Reddit.

You can only reply with 1 word to help create the joke, my last thread didn't work when I said to make a story, but I think making a joke would be better. I'll start it, let's see what we can come up with!

How do you create a hipster?

Give a homeless guy an iPhone.

Four friends decide to create a new tradition

They all have their birthdays the same week, so when they turn 50, they decide they would go every ten years to celebrate at a fancy restaurant.

The first time, when they turn 50, they have a discussion about where to go.

Friend 1: Let's go to the *Thai Orchid*, I heard they have reall...

During the Cold War, the CIA wanted to create the perfect Russian spy.

So they train a cohort for years and then they choose the best candidate. They deploy him from a stealth submarine on a remote Russian coast and the spy starts making his way towards Moscow through the frozen tundra. After a few days he comes across a small trapping village and as he was starting to...

I'm going to create a dating Website for people with incurable STD's to find each other.

It will be named 2 Herpes in a Pod

Three men are lost in the desert with no supplies, when the devil appears before them.

The devil looks at their skin and bones, their cracked lips, and says, “I see you’re in a bit of a rough spot. I can help you - let’s play a little game. You each get one chance to name a task I can’t do. If you succeed, I’ll save you.”

The first man immediately replies, “I bet you can’t buil...

Actually, violent video games don’t create violent children, study says

Thanks to Doctor Xavier B. Juan for the results

I want to create a VR girl/boyfriend simulator for those alone on Valentines Day...

I shall call it, E-Bae

CREATE PASSWORD -

"123Bob".

Password must contain no names, be complex and have over 50 characters.

"GameOfThrones"

Password accepted.

A Russian scientist creates a robot...

The robot can clean, cook, do calculus, balance a budget, play music, and so much more.
The scientist holds a conference to announce the robot and announces that it will be released publicly for all the world to enjoy. The robot is branded with the name "Gudynuv" and is soon mass produced and s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Create a Story Using One Word!

Anyone can participate and IT HAS TO MAKE SENSE! Good luck! :)

What do two sibling bakers create at night?

In-bread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

Joe had suffered from really bad headaches for the last 20 years.

He eventually decides to go and see a Doctor.

The Doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicle...

So a scientist creates a robot

And he asks the robot, "can you feel pain"
The robot says, "yes however not like a normal human, I feel everything deeper and in slow motion."
"my god that's horrible that can't be true!"
"You're correct it isn't true, however we do have a dark sense of humor."

I told my wife that I am helping create jobs in the economy.

I left a dish in the sink and told her she now has a job to do.

Every day Sunny Leone creates history

Every day Sunny Leone creates history...

Then

we have to

go to

Settings

and

delete that

History.

Why did the mad scientist deliberately create a huge fire tornado?

Some people just want to watch the whirled burn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elon Musk and Bill Gates create a penis enlargement product.

They call it Elongate.

Someone should create a Trump parody Twitter account...

That only retweets all the stuff he actually posts

My friend at work complained the IT department is so slow, every time she creates a ticket it takes them a month to get to it.

I told her if you wanna get a message to IT, you've got to post it on reddit.

As USA gets closer to the 2016 election year, US citizens must remember that they cannot trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs.

The last time Hilary had a meaningful job, she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky...

And Monica blew it.

I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...

It's an International Vest-Seller

Some scientists believe the ability to create language was because we ate so much meat as primates.

That's why vegans can only say "i'm vegan".

is it crazy how saying sentences backwards...

creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is

I'm going to create a Mexican supremacist group called the ???

The ¿que que que?

Why did God create man first?

To give him a chance to speak...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.