A tourist climbed out of his rental car in downtown Washington, D.C. He was intent on visiting the White House and take in the city’s other world-famous sights, but he felt hungry so he decided to pop into a store to buy himself a snack.
As he pulled up to the curb outside the store, he saw a well-to-do man standing on the sidewalk. He said to him: “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?”
“What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the United ...
"basically when you walk through a doorway your mind resets itself to take in new information causing you to forget what you came for in the first place"
**Archduke Franz Ferdinand:** so you dont remember why you time traveled here?
"I do think it was probably important"
How many Alzheimer’s patients does it take in to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side
Safety Meeting @ Work: They asked me what steps I would take in the event of a fire...
Apparently REALLY BIG ones was not the right answer. 🙄
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A wise old man walks out his door one morning to sip his coffee and take in the dawn of a new day.
As he adjusts his view towards the street he sees a boy pulling a wagon with something in it in the direction of town.
He addresses the boy and asks "young man, what do you have in your wagon this morning?".
The boy replies "it's chicken wire sir."
Man "well what are you going t...
An American is sailing in German waters when his boat starts to take in lots of water.
Realizing he won't be able to make it to shore, he calls the German Coast Guard.
"I'm sinking, I am sinking!"
The operator replies "Vhat are you sinking about?"
There's a lot of give and take in my marriage.
I give her my money and she takes my sanity.
What does batman take in his whiskey?
A joke about the New Zealand accent.
An Australian tourist visits New Zealand. He decides to go a small town to take in the lush, rural landscape.
He sees a New Zealand farmer walking down the street, carrying a sheep under his arm. Curious the Australian asks, "Are you going to shear that sheep?"
The Kiwi farmer responds...