The 126+ Best Form Jokes

A linguistics professor says during a lecture that, “In English, a double negative forms a positive. But in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative.”

But then a voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

If Marie Antoinette, Anne Boleyn, Charles I, and Louis XVI formed a band, what would its name be?

The Talking Heads.

Out in space two alien life forms are speaking with each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

If Will Smith, Amber Heard, and Chris Brown formed a band, what would its name be?

The Heavy Hitters.

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My friend started a tattoo parlor that only accepts payment in the form of flashing.

They named it tit for tat.

Koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.

The group is always led by a “leader fish”, called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.

Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.

Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from thre...

A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.

“Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?”

One student raises their hand,

“The cheetah is faster dandelion.”

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Turns out the parents of the cerebral palsy kid on my street strongly disagree.

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Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.

Well, that and sex.

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Puns are the number one, highest form of comedy.

But poop jokes are a solid number 2.

[fake] edit: It's your duty to post your best worst puns now.

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I heard they make Viagra in a liquid form now

That's good news because before it was a hard pill to swallow, but now I can enjoy a good stiff drink

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

what do you call the female form of detergent?

deterlady

What's the best form of birth control after 50?

Nudity

The plural form of “polenta”

Is “polenty”.

Why was the narrow strip of land with sea on either side, forming a link between two larger areas of land so happy?

It was a merry isthmus!

What's the best form of protection when you don't have a condom?

A fake name

My favorite form of birth control is a condom inside a condom inside a condom...

Contraception

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A stripper tries a new form of roleplay and finds great success

The man nervously entered the room. Unlike the rooms around it, it looked plain and undecorated, with normal lighting. In it was a table and 2 chairs.

Cherry the Stripper entered. She was wearing a plain blouse, a normal length skirt, and glasses. She was also carrying a folder.

She sa...

Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies?

Cause *truants* don't go to school!

(I came up with this right now)

Aside from King Crimson, did any other seminal progressive rock bands form in London in 1968?

Yes

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This is a translated joke form my country (Ethiopia)

Two mental patients were walking when they spotted an odd thing on their path and they started arguing about what it was. Patient one said "It looks like honey" but patient two argued "No this is definitely poo" so they argued for quite sometime until they figured out a solution, one of them would t...

Would the people who signed up for the yodelling class please form an

orderly, orderly, orderly, orderly-y queue?

While waiting in line at the entrance to a museum, my 16-year old daughter ran up to my wife and me and said, “Mom, Dad! We need to get a line form!”

Confused, I said “A line form?” She said, “Yes, I think you have to turn it in right over there before you can go in.” She pointed to the entrance.

That’s when I looked and saw the sign that said “Line Forms Here”.

True story. Bonus facts: She’s now a brilliant NICU nurse so she r...

What do you call couples that use the rhythm method as their preferred form of birth control?

Parents

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Did you know there is a generic form of Viagra? It’s called…

Mycoxafloppin

In order to help win their gang war, the Bloods in LA have started accepting the severed feet of their enemies as a form of payment.

They’re calling it Crip Toe Currency.

I got fired form the zoo.

Apparently the sign "Don't feed the animals" was only meant for the visitors.

How many jurors does it take to fill out one form?

Apparently more than 7.

I love my life. Everybody around me is so happy. I am happy with myself and proud of my accomplishments. I would never think to harm myself in any way shape or form. And my heart is filled with nothing but positivity to myself and everyone around me.

APRIL FOOLS!!!!

I just formed a grunge band and named it "1023 Megabytes"

... haven't gotten a gig yet though.

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They say that sex is the best form of exercise

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every three months is going to shift this beer belly.

A single zombie is scary, but a row of zombies forms something even scarier...

A deadline.

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So over the past few weeks I've been mastering the art of ejaculating in various shapes. I've done squares, triangles, hexagons, but could not for the life of me form an oval. I was starting to get frustrated, but its fine now...

I came a round.

I have invented microscopic robots that can form the face of Robin Williams.

I call them "nanu-nanubots."

Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?

Because for every $50 that you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

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The truest form of self-deception

The truest form of self-deception: Faking an orgasm when masturbating.

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Yodelling isn't just a form of singing.

It's also a warning that old jedi will fuck you if you're dishonest.
Because Yoda lay he who lie.

My friend joined a cult. They believe that one day they will cease to exist in their human form, and become water vapor.

I told him, "you will be mist".

Release the vaccine in vape form.

I promise you no one will ask what’s in it at that point.

Fellas, if your girl has some form of Polyethylene terephthalate in the shape of an equiangular quadrilateral with the hex code of ff0000

get out fast, that’s a red flag.

Credit to u/wcollins260

Did you know that chicken strips are a new form of currency in some areas?

They’re considered legal “tender”

Self-deprecating humour is the lowest form of entertainment.

And I can't even get *that* right.

I formed a new musical group called Katniss...

It's a tribute band.

My only form of income is donating blood

It's sucking the life out of me

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I'm glad the short form of cockroach is roach and not the other way around.

I dont think people want to hear 'There's a cock in my bedroom'

Thor was viewing the earth, when he saw a beautiful milkmaid. He transformed to human form, descended to earth - and seduced her.

They made love for 3 days and 3 nights, then one morning Thor was stood with his back to her, shuttered sunlight streaming through his golden hair and across his massive frame - the very image of godlike perfection. And he spoke.

“Darling, I must away from this place” he turned round for dram...

[NsFw] What was Lorena Bobbitt's favorite form of mischief?

Ding dong ditch.

TIL there's one country that still doesn't use ANY form of electronic money transfer.

It's the Cheque Republic

I filled out a form wrong and accidentally gave a patient a bag of the wrong blood type.

It was a Type-O

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Though he passed away decades ago, I really think my grandpa would have supported LGBTQ+ marriage in all of its forms.

His motto was "Fuck everyone.".

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My doctor enquired if I was getting enough exercise. "Does sex count as exercise?" I asked. "Yes, it's a very good form of exercise" he replied.

"No then" I said

There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s hard to keep track of.

Kind of.. Kung Fusing

In highschool, my girlfriend and I were asked to rearrange PNSEI to form a word

She said Spine and went on to become a doctor.
And the rest of us are reading this on reddit

TEACHER: Today you'll give an example of a pronoun each and form a sentence with it.

JOHN: HER

TEACHER: Ok, your sentence?

JOHN: Give her her book. It's hers.

TEACHER: That's good. Yes who's next?

DAVE: HIM

TEACHER: Your Sentence?

DAVE: Give him him book. It's hims.

What was Jesus Christ's least favorite form of exercise?

Cross fit.

Receiving a kiss while sleeping is the most pure form of love there is...

Unless you're in prison

I have heard that self deprecation is the highest form of comedy

Too bad I'm not funny.

I decided to take up a new art form called long exposures

the best part is, you don't even need a camera.

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What is the most popular form of martial arts in Israel?

Jew - Jitsu

My friend asked whats my favourite form of cardio

Jumping to conclusions

Did you hear about that music band formed from ex potato chip workers?

They called themselves “panic at Nabisco”

Y'know how ants will sacrifice themselves to form a bridge?

I read that when ants approach an obstacle such as water/oil/etc they will sacrifice themselves and form a chain to create a bridge across said obstacle. The coolest part to me is that the males specifically line up to form the bridge and protect the females. Apparently this is because they are not ...

What is the highest form of flattery?

A plateau

During this period of the pandemic, a group of extraordinarily thin people came together to form a band.

It was a massive success. They were the best in their fields. The violin, oh so melodious! The synth on point everytime. The acoustics, superb.

One time they were offered to perform a virtual concert. All the tickets sold out.

But when the time came for them to perform, they couldn't c...

Me and my friend are going to form a band called 'the duvets'

Mainly going to be a cover band

In an attempt to create synergy, an airline and a beer company merged. It think it was a smart move for the newly formed Alaska Natural Ice.

However, I'm less optimistic about Corona Delta.

What's the saddest form of transportation?

A moped.

Eminem is moving to the middle east to form his own country.

It'll be called Irap.

Hey have you heard of the sommeliers that formed a rock band?

They're called *Effervescence*. Their hit singles include *"My Last Breathalyzer Test"* and *"Bring Me More Wine"*. And who could forget *"Lacrymismosa"*?

The government of Canada is forming a council to determine the merits of decriminalization of all drugs

It will be a High Council

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A small business owner is filling out some forms for the government.

One of the questions asks: please list the employees you have, broken down by sex.

The man replied: None. Although a few do sometimes come in late.

My psychiatrist wrote on my evaluation form that I have ocd.

I had to correct it to OCD.

Some crocodiles formed a band that does parody songs.

It's a pun croc band.

Me and my wife decided to form a suicide pact...

Weird thing was that after she killed herself, I didn't feel like dying anymore.

I formed a rock group called the elastics, things aren't going so well so far though,

We have one song and it's band.

A rich Arab oil sheikh discovers he has a rare form of blood cancer

He scours the world looking for a match for his blood type, which is also rare. He discovers a Scottish man as a match and the Scottish man agrees to donate blood to him.

The sheikh rewards him with lavish gifts; fancy cars, a mansion and the finest luxury clothes.

Two years later, the...

A new leaked government tape shows that a Mars rover saw some sort of feline life form on Mars.

However, before they could get any more info, Curiosity killed the cat.

What was the first form of digital storage?

gloves

I was thinking about how a persons conciousness forms and what happens to it when you die...

Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from consciousness Joe?

There are two forms of English

The queen's English and spelling mistakes

A rather drunk lieutenant formed up the platoon:

"Soldiers, why is the formation so crooked?"
"Because the Earth is round!" - someone called out.
"Who said that?"
"Galileo."
"Galileo, step forward!"
"But he has died long ago!"
"So then?! People here are dying, and no one is reporting this to me?"
...

A group of dyslexic men form a soccer team

When they got down to the name of their team they went with "Dyslexia untied"

The members of the newly-formed Justice League were introducing themselves to each other.

S: “I’m Superman; I can fly, move at super speed, and have super strength.”

B: “I’m Batman; I’m the world’s greatest detective, master of many martial arts, and have gadgets that can do almost anything.”

GL: “I’m Green Lantern; my emerald bling can create constructs of anything I can i...

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "but that would make no sense at all!"

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Hot blond is filling out a form. Where it says "sex" she put "Infrequently". The clerk asked her....

"Is that one word or two?"

Why God created the man in the form he is?

When God created the donkey and told him:

\- You're gonna be working all day long and you'll carry the heaviest loads on your back. You'll eat grass and you won't be so smart. You'll live 50 years.

Then the donkey said:

\- 50 years of the kind of life and suffering is a lot. Giv...

Apparently 25% of women are on some form of medication for mental illness. 25%! That's horrifying.

It means 75% of them are running around untreated!

Einstein, Hawking, Heisenberg and Schrödinger formed a band.

It's called "The Inconvenient Truths."

They play music with that old Al Gore Rhythm.

The year is 1921. Eastern Poland, the new border with Russia is forming after WWI.

One of the officials coordinating this process stumbles upon an old house that is located just on the path of where the border would be set. Property, with an old shed and few acres of land, is habited by one old farmer.

"This is your lucky day, old man. You can choose whether you prefer to ...

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Being asexual is the ultamate form of not giving a fuck.

Because you dont give fucks.

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A Heartwarming Christmas Story in Limerick Form

Santa's reindeer were all in a rut
and desperate to just bust a nut
So horny ol' Blitzen,
he jumped atop Vixen
And once mounted, went straight up the butt

But it turns out that Vixen's a guy
So fast and so strong and so spry
He's a sexy young buck
who...

What form of birth control works better with holes in it?

Crocs

I filled out a job application form. It asked for Hobbies and Pastimes ...

I put Football, Travel and 1939-1945.

What’s the most popular form of photography in American high schools?

Point and shoot.

What do cats call their human form?

Their purr-sona.

After the dinosaurs died out, mammals became the dominant life form.

Unlike dinosaurs, which had scales and feathers, mammals are covered in fur.

I guess you could say things got a little bit hairy after the asteroud hit.

I have a very mild form of Coronavirus.

Heinekenvirus.

Apparently scarves are the most dangerous form of winter clothing.

The least dangerous are sweater vests. They’re completely armless

Put these letters together to form a word. P N E I S Clue: a body part that is very important when erect.

The answer is spine.

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Son: Dad, why is destruction a form of creation?

Dad: Well son, you see, I destroyed your mom's pussy to create your ass.

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A young lady hands in an application form...but she gets rejected the first time.

A young lady hands in her application form. She wrote "Prostitute" where she had to state her occupation. The other lady at the counter quickly assesses it, and says that unfortunately, a prostitute is not eligible.

"Ok" says the frustrated young brunette, "how about I put down cock farmer?"<...

What do you call a new mitten manufacturing company formed by a U.S. senator?

Bernie's Handers.

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Did you hear they finally released Viagra in generic form?

The next time your are at the pharmacy ask for coxbphlopin.

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What is adjective form of asshole?

Colonial

I formed the habit of not telling anyone about my plans until I succeed

now I fail without anybody even knowing.

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I had a health form for my doctor to fill out today. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an old mercury thermometer.

“Shit,” he said. “Some asshole has my pen!”

Research shows that facial tattoos completely eliminate certain forms of anxiety

For example, you'll never need to worry about finding a job

Jokes about Feminine Hygiene are the lowest form of humor

Period.

What is the plural form of rice

Answer: Extra rice

Almost got fired today for filling out a requisition form in Spanish.

No one expected it.

There’s a more virulent form of MRSA going around

It’s WRSA.

There once was a job application form

There once was a job application form that said: “help wanted! Looking for people that are bilingual, able to make a computer program and able to make a robot!”, which a street dog was staring at, and it entered the building. The dog then enters the interviewing room and sits on the chair. The inter...

Being Kissed While You're Asleep is Purest Forms Of Love,

Not When You Live Alone.

Archimedes wasn't just known for inventing his many inventions. He's also considered to have invented the first insult when talking to his brother who was a cheese maker after discovering a early form of lindburger cheese....

He simply stated, You reeka!

A man is riding a motorcycle down Pacific Coast Highway, living the dream, when all of a sudden the clouds start to form...

...he pulls over. Out of nowhere he hears a booming voice from above: "My son, you have lived a life of virtue, one that I would be proud of, ask me of anything and I will grant it."

Astounded the man thinks for a minute then says: "Well I wish that I could ride my bike to Hawaii. I wish ther...

I formed a support group for people who suffer from Agoraphobia.

Unfortunately it didn't work out. Everyone wanted to have it at their place.

What’s the most common form of birth control at Hogwart’s?

*Coitus Interruptus*

Why does Santa spend 364 days a year forming strong masculine relationships?

Bros before hos

Self deprecation is definitely the lowest form of humour.

that's why I use it all the time

How do computers form intimate relations?

They insert the floppy into the disc drive.

Gabriel's Horn is a geometric figure formed by rotating f(x)=1/x about the x axis. It has finite volume, but infinite surface area.

This is the complete opposite of the Vuvuzela, which has a finite surface area, but infinite volume

According to Whitney Houston, what is the most important form of co-ordination?

HAND EYEEE-E-EYE

What's one form of communication God will never use to speak with you?

Fax

Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?

Because it has rust issues!

My daughter identifies as a small group of words standing together as a conceptual unit, typically forming a component of a clause.

Should I be worried or is it just a phrase?

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