There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s hard to keep track of.

Kind of.. Kung Fusing

Apparently 25% of women are on some form of medication for mental illness. 25%! That's horrifying.

It means 75% of them are running around untreated!

There’s a more virulent form of MRSA going around

It’s WRSA.

Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?

Because it has rust issues!

In highschool, my girlfriend and I were asked to rearrange PNSEI to form a word

She said Spine and went on to become a doctor.
And the rest of us are reading this on reddit

Teacher " Who can form a sentence using 'dandelion' ?"

Tyrone : De Cheetah is fasta Dandelion.

In the exam for a med school, students were asked to rearrange the letters, N E P I S to form a body part.

Those who formed SPINE are doctors now.

Form the self employer's handbook:

There is no "we" in "team"

Coffee isn't electrically conductive in bean form.

But it is when it's ground.

What's the highest form of flattery?

A plateau!

Surfing is a form of torture

Because technically it's water boarding.

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Turns out the parents of that cerebral palsy kid on my street strongly disagree.

Did you know that 38% of American women are on medications for being some form of crazy?

This is terrifying because that means that 62% of American women are walking around unmedicated!

When I was young I decided to go to medical school. At the entrance exam we were asked to rearrange the letters PNEIS to form the name of an important body part.

Those who said spine are doctors today. The rest of us went to flight school.

How are called two koalas who decide to form an alliance?

A Koalition

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They say that sex is the best form of exercise

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every three months is going to shift this beer belly.

I have heard that self deprecation is the highest form of comedy

Too bad I'm not funny.

Lice have become resistant to most conventional forms of treatment

Scientists are scratching their heads.

My favorite form of birth control is a condom inside a condom inside a condom...

Contraception

A priest is stranded in the middle of the ocean with no food, water, or any form of communication.

This priest is praying to God, asking to be saved. Shortly after, a boat comes along and the captain stops to see if he can help the priest.

"Do you need help, sir?" Asked the captain.

"No, God will save me." Replied the priest determined that such was true.

"Alright." Said th...

Dental Forms

At the dentist's office for oral surgery, I was handed a couple of forms to fill out. As I signed the first one, I joked with the receptionist, "Does this say that even if you pull my head completely off, I can't sue you?"

"No, that's the next sheet. This one says you still have to pay us."

Receiving a kiss while sleeping is the most pure form of love there is...

Unless you're in prison

An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing the other day: "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

What form of communication was used in Atlantis?

Hydroglyphs

In what form of writing is killing the main character a good idea?

An Autobiography.

Being kissed when you are asleep is one of the most purest forms of love

Unless you are in prison

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Puns are the number one highest form of comedy.

But poop jokes are a solid number two.

A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.

“Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?”

One student raises their hand,

“The cheetah is faster dandelion.”

A single zombie is scary, but a row of zombies forms something even scarier...

A deadline.

What is Thanos favorite form of social media

SNAPchat

My girlfriend got upset when I called her a plateau...

...but that’s the highest form of flattery.

We should not in any way, shape, or form make fun of female's time of the month

Period.

How many Buzzfeed workers does it take to form a firing squad?

10. But number 5 will blow your mind!

Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog...

But it’s actually a common mist-conception!

How does a logician explain why long lines tend to form at the restroom after a movie?

If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people *do* have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.

What was the first form of digital storage?

gloves

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I made my girlfriend sign a consent form before we had sex.

It was a big deal.

What is Jesus's least favorite form of exercise?

CrossFit

I got fired form the zoo.

Apparently the sign "Don't feed the animals" was only meant for the visitors.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just emailed in my application form for a dominatrix club..." he tells the bartender.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just emailed in my application form for a dominatrix club..." he tells the bartender. "What happened?" the bartender asks. "I got an instant reply thanking me for my submission."

On an examination paper, The professor required his students to sign a form stating they had received no outside assistance...

....Unsure of whether he should sign the form, a student stated that he had prayed for the assistance of God.

The professor carefully studied the answer script....

...and then said: "You can sign with a clear conscience. God did not assist you."

Intelligent life forms

Why is it that when man searches for intelligent life forms they direct the sensors away from the earth?

I have a form of dyslexia for words

At the end of a sentence I sometimes say the wrong sauce

TIL that koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.

The group is always led by a “leader fish”, called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.

Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.

Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from thre...

Almost got fired today for filling out a requisition form in Spanish.

No one expected it.

What do you call Donald Trump’s form of currency?

Trump change

William Shakespeare did not pioneer the modern form of a play

While the format of act 1, then a break, then act 2 was used by Shakespeare it originally came from Spain.

It was initially unpopular in Spain as people were confused by the break in the play as no one expects the *Spanish intermission*.

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My daughter asked me today:"Dad, What is sex?"

I had feared this moment would come and didn't think it would come this soon but nevertheless I was prepared.
So I sat her down and explained it all. The birds and the bees, the different sexual orientations, all the positions and of course I had to mention all the STD's and the rules of safe ...

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

Ag I tat Ed.

I'm veeeerrrryyyyy agitated.

Out in space two alien life forms are speaking with each other.

The first alien says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first alien says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."

A dog went to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it..

"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

Then he handed it to the clerk.

The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, "You know there are only nine words here? You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."

The dog replied, "But that would make no sense ...

Why are American Tax forms so annoying to complete?

I guess the IRS isn't INTUIT

The newest form of birth control is putting a rock in one shoe...

...It makes you limp.

If a crack forms in your yard

Is it your fault?

There's two forms of English.

The Queen's English, and spelling mistakes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me and my trans male buddy decided to form a bowling team.

We’re calling ourselves “2 Men 2 Balls 1 Goal.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

90 percent of adults admitted to having some form of sexual interaction in the office.

I licked an envelope once.

I went down to the patent office trying to register some of my inventions earlier today and walked up to the main desk to sign in when the lady pulled out a form to fill out. She asked for my personal info, wrote it down and then asked me what I had invented...

I said, 'A folding bottle.'

She said, 'Okay. What do you call it?'

'A fottle.'

'What else do you have there?'

'A folding carton.'

'OK, what do you call it?'

'A farton.'

She chuckled and said, 'Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds ...

I'd like to see a group of Wilfred Brimley impersonators form a Beatles cover band.

They would be called The Diabeatles.

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

A new life form is discovered on a nearby planet

It's a huge humanoid figure, almost 200 feet tall while seated. It's just sitting there. The rise and fall of the creature's chest is evident, but it doesn't seem to do anything else.

Scientists come from all over to investigate this strange being. They become more and more frustrated at...

What’s Donald Trumps favourite form of contraception?

The pull out method.

I got banned form laser tag today.

Apparently they frown on using a knife to save ammo.

What's a dinosaur's favorite form of compression?

RAR files.

I've just been diagnosed with a rare form of amnesia where I can't remember a small amount of 80's music bands.

Unfortunately there is no cure.

How many polish people do you need to form a place of congregation?

Ten poles

Why God created the man in the form he is?

When God created the donkey and told him:

\- You're gonna be working all day long and you'll carry the heaviest loads on your back. You'll eat grass and you won't be so smart. You'll live 50 years.

Then the donkey said:

\- 50 years of the kind of life and suffering is a lot. Giv...

Germany and the Czech Republic have left the EU to form their own fully integrated economy.

Their currency is called the ✓

Did you know that amputation is the most expensive form of surgery?

I hear it can cost you an arm and a leg.

My only form of income is donating blood

It's sucking the life out of me

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first mathematician orders a beer.


The second orders half a beer.


"I don't serve half-beers," the bartender replies.


"Excuse me?" asks mathematician #2.


The bartender remarks, "What kind of bar serves half-beers? That's ridiculous."


"Oh c'mo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Puns are the only form of humor where a groan is high praise and a laugh is a fair attempt.

Well, that and sex.

What do you call it when clouds form in Africa?

Wakandensation

I've heard that people in the South think everything is better in sandwich form.

Those inbreds.

Me and my wife decided to form a suicide pact...

Weird thing was that after she killed herself, I didn't feel like dying anymore.

Irish line dancers have superior form

Hands down.

Self-deprecating humour is the lowest form of entertainment.

And I can't even get *that* right.

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