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Hamburgers Jokes

Where do hamburgers go to dance?

They go to the meat-ball

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is making hamburgers made of deer meat for his family for dinner one night ...

He says to his kids "try to guess whats in the hamburger. Ill give you a hint, its what mommy calls me"

Immediatly his son yells to his sister "stop eating it! Its a fucking dick!"

Why do anacondas like hamburgers?

Cause it got buns, hun

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American was talking to a Japanese friend on why he wouldn't eat french fries and hamburgers...

The Japanese friend said: "In Japan normally we don't eat a lot of unhealthy stuff because it'll make us fat".

The American said: "Why do you care about being fat?"

The Japanese friend said: "You don't want to know what happened last time when we had a fat man in Japan..."

A man goes into a restaurant with his pet snake.

He seats himself at a table, and his snake slithers up onto the seat next to him. Soon, a waitress comes to take his order.

The man declares, "I want 25 hamburgers- two for me and 23 for my pet snake here."

The waitress leaves, and 20 minutes later returns with two plates. On the man's...

It's crazy to think that we have scientists that can make hamburgers out of plants. These possibilities are just...

Beyond meat

What do you call a male cow that eats hamburgers?

A cannibull..ha..ha..?

What's the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?

One of them is a meatier shower.

If Londoners are what you call people from London and New Yorkers are what you call people from New York, what are Hamburgers??

Delicious!!

What did the Mongols put on their Hamburgers?

Khan-diments.

What kind of food truck serves hamburgers?

A patty wagon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do hamburgers and hot dogs fuck their cousins?

Because they're inbred!

Following the meatless hamburger craze, a German company announced that they will start making a patty made out of Soylent Green.

They insist it is made completely from Hamburgers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into McDonald's to report a man soliciting sex in the parking lot.

The clerk asks him what happened, and he proceeds to tell them that there is a man in the parking lot offering a blowjob in exchange for a hamburger. The clerk lets the man know that they will inform the manager who will call the police and have the man removed. They then thank the man and ask him w...

I recently went to visit my 80 year old uncle who lives on a very secluded farm in Michigan's upper peninsula.

I have not seen my uncle in over 20 years. It is a 10 hour drive to his house and he only leaves the farm for groceries or doctor’s appointments, and never ventures far. We spent hours chatting the entire evening, and finally went to bed after midnight.

Early the next morning my uncle prepar...

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