A woman's boss calls her into his office asking her if she would house sit when he's gone for a weekend. Accepting right away she says , "I'll make a list right now of what you'll need. Whatll you need me to do?"
"I've a mini pig that has a rash, can you rub some soothing oil on it?" The b...
What do you call pasta with a cold?
Macaroni and sneeze
Was told to me by my 3 year old
I have a medical condition where I’m allergic to only one type of pasta
It’s called macaroni and sneeze
Blind man in a restaurant ...
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."
Whats the difference between a Yankee and Native American?
If you stick a feather in a Yankee's hat, you have to call it macaroni.
This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔
Two soldiers are walking through a forrest.
They’re both starving and searching for food, when they come to a crossroads. They agree, that each will go down one path and look for food. After about an hour they meet back at the crossroad. One of them is empty-handed, but the other one is holding a helmet full of macaroni with bits of meat. The...
My dad died in front of me
Before he died, he scribbled me a note. They were his last words. I decided not to open it till I was ready. A year later, I opened it and this is what is said, "You are stepping on my oxygen line".
Edit: Holy macaroni with a side of O2, thank you so much for 190 votes!!!
Edit 2: My, m...
Why can't you make something that's sort of like a macaron but not really?
Because then it'd just be macaroni
Three little pigs walk into a restaurant
They are seated at a table. After a few minutes to look at the menu, they decide to start with some appetizers. The waiter asks the pigs what they will have.
"I'll start with some chips and salsa," the first pig replies. "I will begin with some mozzarella sticks," the second pig says. "Wat...
...How did you do it?
There was once a train operator who had been driving trains for well over 20 years. Over the course of his career, he had experienced a number of close calls in the accident department. At long last, sadly, he hit a schoolbus full of children on its way out of the elementary school parking lot, kill...
So a Panda walks into a restaurant...
And the host, thinking this is a little out of the ordinary, asks the panda if he is here to eat.
"Of course." says the panda.
A little ashamed, the host walks the panda to a table and tells him the waiter will be along shortly. Soon enough the waiter comes along and asks the panda wha...