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Taco Jokes

A taco and a burrito walk into a bar.

The taco starts talking the bartender's ear off while the burrito stays silent and sips his drink. Finally the bartender says, "Hey, why is he so quiet?"

The taco replies, "Oh, sorry. I'm just a lot more open than he is."

What do you call a teacher who had too much Taco Bell?

A tooter.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.

Well actually he said "less McDonald's" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

In these tough times Taco Bell is providing more value than ever

Where else can you get gas for $1.19?

What’s the difference between Home Depot and Taco Bell ?

You won’t find authentic Mexican at Taco Bell.

A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I’d like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, “"Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if ...

My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”

I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

what's the difference between a Taco and my wife?

A Taco lets me eat it before it disagrees with me!

If you stack two tacos on top of each other, you get two tacos.

But if you stack two lasagnas on top of each other, you get one lasagna.

Anakin Skywalker walks into a Taco Bell, and is shocked to find his master Yoda behind the counter

He asks what the Jedi master is doing there, to which he replies "Pay well, Jedi council does not. Work two jobs, I must." Fair enough, thinks Anakin. He orders his food, and reaches into his pocket to pay, when Yoda asks, "A beverage, would you like with that?" "Ok," says Anakin, "what do you recom...

I'll never understand why people say Taco Bell isn't "real" Mexican food.

It gets the job done for half the price. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

Why is Norwegian taco night like a car?

Cos it's a fjord fiesta

I heard Taco Bell is renaming their restrooms.

They're now called "The Fast" and "The Furious".

What did the dad with milk sensitivities say to the waiter at a Mexican restaurant when asked if he wanted cheese with his taco?

No whey, Jose.

Where can you still get gas for $1.39?

Taco Bell

I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

Taco Bell forced to shut down temporarily...

Due to the Corona virus the shortage of toilet paper has made this step a necessity.

What does Pacman put on his Tacos?

Guacawaccawaccamole

a guy thing..

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I
was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in
between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I
smelled something funny, so of course, I che...

What did the IT support guy do yesterday after eating Taco Bell?

He troubleshat

Yo mama so fat

when she eats Taco Bell, she gets the walks.

Today this pervert offered me a taco to see me naked. So I replied...

What do I have to do to get a burrito?

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Guy gets a hotel room and asks for a hooker

A man heads to a seedy hotel to rent a room and asks the clerk where to find a prostitute.

The clerk says not to worry, he'll send one to the man's room in a few minutes.

The man goes to his room and sure enough, a few minutes later a prostitute knocks on his door.

"Hi honey, ho...

What is you’re best taco/ Mexican food pun?

Hey reddit! So currently I work at Taco Bell taking orders in the drive thru. With covid-19 all going around, a lot of people have been more down compared to before. So I’ve been trying to make their days somewhat better. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: “hi welcome to Taco Bell, how ...

The father Taco approaches the son Taco.........

Then the father Taco said to his son, "Son, there's something we need to Taco-bout".

Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco?

Por flavor

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I went to Taco Bell last night,

This morning it's a pain in the ass.

A man died after a taco eating contest. Do you know how many tacos he ate?

Not enough.

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This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, ”Doctor, I haven’t had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband’s sex drive.”

The doctor smiled and said, ”Have you tried to give him Viagra?”
The lady frowned. ”Doctor, I can’t even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache,” she claimed.
”Well,” the doctor continued, ”Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are having beans, stir it in,...

It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or

When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child

What did Wilford Brimley get whenever he ate Taco Bell?

Diarrhetus.

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Today, I ate a bunch of Taco Bell.









Lots of shit went down.

A Man Stands In front of a Taco Truck and Reads the Menu.

It reads:

Taco $2
Burrito$6
Handjob$10

He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful woman at the register.

"Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" He says, ahnding her ten dollars.

"Yes I am." She answers seductively.

"Well wash your hands, I want 5 ...

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I think Taco Bell was the tastiest laxative I've ever had.

I shit you not.

Shout out to Taco Bell hot sauce packets

For teaching me how to flirt!

A joke told to me today by a little old man at Taco Bell completely out of the blue

Why was the man fired from his job at the orange juice factory?

He couldn’t concentrate.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza.

I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

You are looking through your food bag after just leaving the Taco Bell drive through and find a note written on a napkin that reads "There are 2 armed men in here".......what do you do?

Eat your food.......1 armed men can't make tacos.

Why wasn't Taco Bell featured at the White House's fast food feast?

Because Trump would have expected them to pay for the whole meal.

What's the difference between a hard and soft shell taco from Taco Bell?

About 25 seconds in the microwave.

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

A girl reaches out to me on Tinder and asks "If you could be any type of taco, what would would you be, and why?"

I reply "I would be a Taco Bell crunchy taco so that eleven of my friends and I could come inside one box."

Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.

Priest - Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.
Alcoholic - Is it? What about the guy who sells the liquor?
Priest - He will also go to Hell.
Alcoholic - Ok, what about the guy who sells pork tacos in the food truck outside the Liquor Store?
Priest - He too will go to Hell....

I made some fish tacos last night but...

...they just ignored them and swam away.

What did the EMT say to the choking guy at Taco Bell?

Live más.

DNA is like the menu at Taco Bell

Different combinations of the same four ingredients to achieve endless results.

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Love is like eating Taco Bell

It’s heaven until it all turns to shit.

As a good luck charm my baseball team eats taco bell before every game.

To help us get more runs than our opponent.

I hate tacos!

Said no Juan ever.

I can be the Taco Beast...

...If you're my Taco Belle!

What's Taco Bell's secret sauce recipe?

No idea, they keep it under wraps.

I'll show myself out.

A man messaged his ex : Just now ate a tuna taco and suddenly you came in my mind “

She messaged him back : “ just now ordered a mini hot dog , it came in just 2 minutes. Suddenlu you came in my mind “

If your taco gets arrested what do you need to bring to the jail?

Taco bail.

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Why doesn't Taco Bell have a play area?

It's hard to have a good time when you're trying not to shit your pants.

I noticed Taco Bell cups say "welcome to the after party" on them.

That's a harsh way to tell you that you just got diarrhea.....

Taco emergency ?

Call 9 Jaun Jaun

What does a chicken taco say?

Guawk guawk!!

Life is like a taco

It falls apart

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Whats the difference between Taco Bell and a baby?

Eating a baby is a heinous deed, but eating Taco Bell makes your anus bleed.

What do you call a Taco Bell merged with a Weinerschnitzel?

A beanerschnitzel.

I’m so sorry...

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What does the day of election and Taco Tuesday have in common?

So much shit is going down today.

Growing up in Canada, Taco Bell commercials were surprisingly different.

At the end of each ad, they sang: "Make a run...for the border. And then the next border."

Why won't Caitlyn Jenner go to Taco Bell?

She doesn't want another Bell not accepting her for who she is.

My friend offered me some sheep stomach tacos...

I said "No, thanks. That sounds offal."

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you ever use Taco Bell hot sauce as anal lube?

I hear that shit's fire.

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What's common between Hitler and Taco Bell

Both are responsible for gassing lots of people.

_________
Source:


http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/skeh8/taco_bell_on_420/c4eqbvj?context=2

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What's the difference between a Baby Hobbit and Taco Bell?

One throws shire fits, and the other gives you fire shits.

Me: looks like taco bells closed, sign says short staff

Dad: well damnit! They should have hired taller people!!

Did r/jokes hear about the new Taco Bell Express yet?

You give them 99c, and they throw a burrito in the toilet for you.

Tacos are imaginary -- a mathematical proof

tan = sin / cos (definition of tangent)

ta = i / co (cancel n and s)

taco = i (multiply both sides by co)

I got gas for 2$ today.

The Taco Bell value menu still slaps though

Three dogs are having a drink at a bar.

One dog is a rottweiler, the second dog is a German shepherd and the third dog is none other than the Taco Bell Chihuahua. They were just sitting at the bar when suddenly who should come walking in but Lassie herself. She saunters up to the three dogs and says, "If one of you can creatively use 'liv...

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What do tacos and uncles have in common?

The bad ones can really hurt your asshole

"Taco Tuesday" is an illegal practice in China.

That's not true but I bet some of you believed it with how crazy it is over there.

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Yikes. I think my sister is getting divorce oddly related to detective comics…

So I’m visiting my sister and her family in San Diego. They live in a beautiful house about a block and a half from the beach. It’s beautiful there. Long expansive vistas and soft warm sand.

I’m staying at their house. John and Tracy. Real good folks, or at least I thought. It’s a bit late i...

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How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!...

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