UPJOKE
tortillamaizechickensalsaguacamolemexicobeefseafoodporkhamburgeravocadotomatopizzaburgerwheat

Why are Tacos depressed?

Because they’re always falling apart

If you don’t like tacos,

I’m nacho type.

If you eat 25 tacos and pass out, you’ll wake up in..

Tacoma

What does Pac-Man put on his tacos

Guacauacauacauacauacauacamole

A taco and a burrito walk into a bar.

The taco starts talking the bartender's ear off while the burrito stays silent and sips his drink. Finally the bartender says, "Hey, why is he so quiet?"

The taco replies, "Oh, sorry. I'm just a lot more open than he is."

In these tough times Taco Bell is providing more value than ever

Where else can you get gas for $1.19?

"I don't like tacos."

Said no Juan ever.

what's the difference between a Taco and my wife?

A Taco lets me eat it before it disagrees with me!

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They just picked pizza.

I'm about to make tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

What did the IT support guy do yesterday after eating Taco Bell?

He troubleshat

My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”

I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

My kids won’t eat their tacos for dinner, so I had to throw them out.

Then I ate their tacos.

Priest: Don't drink too much liquor. You will go to Hell.

Alcoholic - Really? What about the guy who sells the liquor? Priest - He will also go to Hell. Alcoholic - Ok, what about the girl who sells Al Pastor tacos, and put's out in the food truck outside the Liquor Store? Priest - She too will go to Hell. Alcoholic - In that case, I have no problem going ...

I changed my name to Taco Bell Meat, now I can't get anyone on the phone

My name always comes up as "Potential Spam."

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What do tacos and uncles have in common?

The bad ones can really hurt your asshole

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It was a bad idea doing tacos the night before the big meeting. Everyone looked shocked when I accidentally farted loudly.

I looked back at them, just as shocked. After a moment, I broke the awkward silence, and said,

"Did you hear that asshole talking shit behind my back?"

Taco Bell forced to shut down temporarily...

Due to the Corona virus the shortage of toilet paper has made this step a necessity.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.

Well actually he said "less McDonald's" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

Tacos are imaginary -- a mathematical proof

tan = sin / cos (definition of tangent)

ta = i / co (cancel n and s)

taco = i (multiply both sides by co)

It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or

When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child

Last night I made fish tacos

They looked at them and just swam away.

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Guy gets a hotel room and asks for a hooker

A man heads to a seedy hotel to rent a room and asks the clerk where to find a prostitute.

The clerk says not to worry, he'll send one to the man's room in a few minutes.

The man goes to his room and sure enough, a few minutes later a prostitute knocks on his door.

"Hi honey, ho...

I'm opening a floating restaurant on a houseboat where we sell ice cream tacos, and our mascot is a gorilla dressed like an ancient Mongolian warrior.

I call it "Attila Gorilla's Vanilla Tortilla Flotilla"

Just got arrested for blowing up my school’s toilets.

I mean, what did you really expect, building a high school next to a Taco Bell?

Two blonde Mexican girls walk past a Taco Bell.

One looks at the other and says "Hey, I didn't know we owned a telephone company."

Greek tacos sound good for lunch.

Gyros in a half shell.

What did Wilford Brimley get whenever he ate Taco Bell?

Diarrhetus.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Mexican that walked into a bra?

No?

I'll get my taco

What is you’re best taco/ Mexican food pun?

Hey reddit! So currently I work at Taco Bell taking orders in the drive thru. With covid-19 all going around, a lot of people have been more down compared to before. So I’ve been trying to make their days somewhat better. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: “hi welcome to Taco Bell, how ...

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican."

It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

The father Taco approaches the son Taco.........

Then the father Taco said to his son, "Son, there's something we need to Taco-bout".

Yeah, I like NFTs...

Nachos,


Fajitas &


Tacos

What did the Corndog say to the Taco?

Your meat’s showing!

Shout out to Taco Bell hot sauce packets

For teaching me how to flirt!

Today this pervert offered me a taco to see me naked. So I replied...

What do I have to do to get a burrito?

A joke told to me today by a little old man at Taco Bell completely out of the blue

Why was the man fired from his job at the orange juice factory?

He couldn’t concentrate.

A man died after a taco eating contest. Do you know how many tacos he ate?

Not enough.

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Today, I ate a bunch of Taco Bell.









Lots of shit went down.

Little Ken Fok grew up working hard in his father’s restaurant in China

Every day before school he would get up at 6am and help prepare the dishes for that days lunch before coming home from school at 4pm to help with the evening shift by preparing and serving customers. He would make Spicy crab cakes, shredded pork and tofu. He would work until midnight and then repeat...

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I went to Taco Bell last night,

This morning it's a pain in the ass.

You are looking through your food bag after just leaving the Taco Bell drive through and find a note written on a napkin that reads "There are 2 armed men in here".......what do you do?

Eat your food.......1 armed men can't make tacos.

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas

A Man Stands In front of a Taco Truck and Reads the Menu.

It reads:

Taco $2
Burrito$6
Handjob$10

He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful woman at the register.

"Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" He says, ahnding her ten dollars.

"Yes I am." She answers seductively.

"Well wash your hands, I want 5 ...

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I think Taco Bell was the tastiest laxative I've ever had.

I shit you not.

I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

Once, many many years ago, there was a fad among fast food restaurants

to put historical, sometimes military or industrial items in their front yards as a kind of attraction/plaything; an old howitzer or maybe even a train caboose that kids could inspect or climb on. Sometimes these unlikely things would be decorated with the characters or dishes of the food chain. For...

Why wasn't Taco Bell featured at the White House's fast food feast?

Because Trump would have expected them to pay for the whole meal.

Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco?

Por flavor

A girl reaches out to me on Tinder and asks "If you could be any type of taco, what would would you be, and why?"

I reply "I would be a Taco Bell crunchy taco so that eleven of my friends and I could come inside one box."

My friend: “My girlfriend said she wanted to eat tacos, so we flew to Mexico”

Me: “Hey babe what do you wanna eat?”

Her: “Nothing”

Me: *flies to Africa*

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1st (Original) Joke I’ve EVER Posted

What do you call a taco’s ex-girlfriend???

Nacho bitch!!!

Did you know you can discharge all four states of matter out of your ass?

Just eat Taco Bell to discharge plasma.

What's the difference between a hard and soft shell taco from Taco Bell?

About 25 seconds in the microwave.

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

What do you call an ocean full of tacos?

Flotilla

As a good luck charm my baseball team eats taco bell before every game.

To help us get more runs than our opponent.

I can be the Taco Beast...

...If you're my Taco Belle!

Whats the difference between my son and taco bell

I love taco bell

What's Taco Bell's secret sauce recipe?

No idea, they keep it under wraps.

I'll show myself out.

A man messaged his ex : Just now ate a tuna taco and suddenly you came in my mind “

She messaged him back : “ just now ordered a mini hot dog , it came in just 2 minutes. Suddenlu you came in my mind “

DNA is like the menu at Taco Bell

Different combinations of the same four ingredients to achieve endless results.

What did the EMT say to the choking guy at Taco Bell?

Live más.

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Love is like eating Taco Bell

It’s heaven until it all turns to shit.

In a surprise move, Taco Bell is acquiring Taco Bueno...

It's a hostile tacover.

I noticed Taco Bell cups say "welcome to the after party" on them.

That's a harsh way to tell you that you just got diarrhea.....

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Have you ever use Taco Bell hot sauce as anal lube?

I hear that shit's fire.

Life is like a taco

It falls apart

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Whats the difference between Taco Bell and a baby?

Eating a baby is a heinous deed, but eating Taco Bell makes your anus bleed.

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Why doesn't Taco Bell have a play area?

It's hard to have a good time when you're trying not to shit your pants.

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What does the day of election and Taco Tuesday have in common?

So much shit is going down today.

My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos....

I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.

Taco emergency ?

Call 9 Jaun Jaun

"Taco Tuesday" is an illegal practice in China.

That's not true but I bet some of you believed it with how crazy it is over there.

What do you call a Taco Bell merged with a Weinerschnitzel?

A beanerschnitzel.

I’m so sorry...

What's Kermit's favorite food?

Pork Tacos.

Growing up in Canada, Taco Bell commercials were surprisingly different.

At the end of each ad, they sang: "Make a run...for the border. And then the next border."

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What's common between Hitler and Taco Bell

Both are responsible for gassing lots of people.

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Source:


http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/skeh8/taco_bell_on_420/c4eqbvj?context=2

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