Why are Tacos depressed?

Because they’re always falling apart

If you don’t like tacos,

I’m nacho type.

If you eat 25 tacos and pass out, you’ll wake up in..

Tacoma

What does Pac-Man put on his tacos

Guacauacauacauacauacauacamole

A taco and a burrito walk into a bar.

The taco starts talking the bartender's ear off while the burrito stays silent and sips his drink. Finally the bartender says, "Hey, why is he so quiet?"

The taco replies, "Oh, sorry. I'm just a lot more open than he is."

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What do tacos and uncles have in common?

The bad ones can really hurt your asshole

Greek tacos sound good for lunch.

Gyros in a half shell.

"I don't like tacos."

Said no Juan ever.

It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or

When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child

I changed my name to Taco Bell Meat, now I can't get anyone on the phone

My name always comes up as "Potential Spam."

I'm opening a floating restaurant on a houseboat where we sell ice cream tacos, and our mascot is a gorilla dressed like an ancient Mongolian warrior.

I call it "Attila Gorilla's Vanilla Tortilla Flotilla"

What did Wilford Brimley get whenever he ate Taco Bell?

Diarrhetus.

The father Taco approaches the son Taco.........

Then the father Taco said to his son, "Son, there's something we need to Taco-bout".

Last night I made fish tacos

They looked at them and just swam away.

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It was a bad idea doing tacos the night before the big meeting. Everyone looked shocked when I accidentally farted loudly.

I looked back at them, just as shocked. After a moment, I broke the awkward silence, and said,

"Did you hear that asshole talking shit behind my back?"

Taco Bell forced to shut down temporarily...

Due to the Corona virus the shortage of toilet paper has made this step a necessity.

I tried eating the whole Taco Bell menu once..

They kindly asked me to get off the counter

Shout out to Taco Bell hot sauce packets

For teaching me how to flirt!

Two blonde Mexican girls walk past a Taco Bell.

One looks at the other and says "Hey, I didn't know we owned a telephone company."

A joke told to me today by a little old man at Taco Bell completely out of the blue

Why was the man fired from his job at the orange juice factory?

He couldn’t concentrate.

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.

Well actually he said "less McDonald's" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

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What do tacos and penises have in common?

They only come two ways, hard and soft.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.

They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

What is you’re best taco/ Mexican food pun?

Hey reddit! So currently I work at Taco Bell taking orders in the drive thru. With covid-19 all going around, a lot of people have been more down compared to before. So I’ve been trying to make their days somewhat better. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: “hi welcome to Taco Bell, how ...

A Man Stands In front of a Taco Truck and Reads the Menu.

It reads:

Taco $2
Burrito$6
Handjob$10

He walks up to the window and there is a beautiful woman at the register.

"Are you the one who gives the handjobs?" He says, ahnding her ten dollars.

"Yes I am." She answers seductively.

"Well wash your hands, I want 5 ...

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Today, I ate a bunch of Taco Bell.









Lots of shit went down.

What's Kermit's favorite food?

Pork Tacos.

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I went to Taco Bell last night,

This morning it's a pain in the ass.

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I think Taco Bell was the tastiest laxative I've ever had.

I shit you not.

Today this pervert offered me a taco to see me naked. So I replied...

What do I have to do to get a burrito?

A man died after a taco eating contest. Do you know how many tacos he ate?

Not enough.

You are looking through your food bag after just leaving the Taco Bell drive through and find a note written on a napkin that reads "There are 2 armed men in here".......what do you do?

Eat your food.......1 armed men can't make tacos.

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Three men are eating tacos near a building

One of them says:

-"The first to reach the top of the building without farting wins."

So the first one starts to climb the stairs and fails almost immediately.

The second one goes inside the building with his butthole so clenched he couldn't walk in a straight line. Just as he ...

I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican."

It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.

I drove by the Taco Bell drive-thru last night and it was empty.

Then I realized everyone is out of toilet paper!

I love Taco Bell so much that I even enjoy being *asked* what style of tacos I want...

I get hard every time.

I got gas today for $1.39.

Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell.

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas

My idiot friend keeps saying, “Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.”

I said, “Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.”

What do you mean gas shortage

There's plenty of Taco Bells in the US

A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"
The guy , clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog...

I got a strange note in my bag at the Taco Bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."

I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

Did you know that Taco Bell names an item after the sound that you make after you eat it?

No, there isn’t a “mmmm”. It’s the chalupa.

What do you call an ocean full of tacos?

Flotilla

Rich people have...

Rich people have colon cleanses
Poor people have taco bell

Why did the Mexican put hot sauce on his taco?

Por flavor

My friend: “My girlfriend said she wanted to eat tacos, so we flew to Mexico”

Me: “Hey babe what do you wanna eat?”

Her: “Nothing”

Me: *flies to Africa*

What's Taco Bell's secret sauce recipe?

No idea, they keep it under wraps.

I'll show myself out.

Why wasn't Taco Bell featured at the White House's fast food feast?

Because Trump would have expected them to pay for the whole meal.

As a good luck charm my baseball team eats taco bell before every game.

To help us get more runs than our opponent.

A girl reaches out to me on Tinder and asks "If you could be any type of taco, what would would you be, and why?"

I reply "I would be a Taco Bell crunchy taco so that eleven of my friends and I could come inside one box."

Whats the difference between my son and taco bell

I love taco bell

What's the difference between a hard and soft shell taco from Taco Bell?

About 25 seconds in the microwave.

DNA is like the menu at Taco Bell

Different combinations of the same four ingredients to achieve endless results.

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Love is like eating Taco Bell

It’s heaven until it all turns to shit.

If you mix taco bell sauce into your ramen..

It tastes exactly like poverty.

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Have you ever use Taco Bell hot sauce as anal lube?

I hear that shit's fire.

Life is like a taco

It falls apart

Three inmates at the insane asylum gather around the lunch table to plot how they can break out and regain their freedom.

Rudy, the longest standing resident explains they should all meet along the Southern wall at precisely midnight, whereupon he will use his recently illegally acquired hospital issue flashlight to vault them over the wall. Then it’s a short walk across the border into Mexico.

Upon hearing the ...

My dad is chopping up Onions in the other room, I’ve been crying all day.

Onions was a good dog, but I’m still pretty excited for taco night.

Just passed a road sign advertising Blue Taco brand tacos...

My wife asked me, "Is that the female equivalent of blue balls?"

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Why doesn't Taco Bell have a play area?

It's hard to have a good time when you're trying not to shit your pants.

A friend of mine has never had Mexican before....

So I took him to a nearby food truck that had a delicious assortment of options. He went up to the food truck owner.

Friend: Hi I have never had Mexican before. I was wondering if you can describe what some of these are.

Food truck owner: Certainly sir! Which would you like to know ab...

My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos....

I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food.

Do you know who likes tacos?

Every Juan

In a surprise move, Taco Bell is acquiring Taco Bueno...

It's a hostile tacover.

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Whats the difference between Taco Bell and a baby?

Eating a baby is a heinous deed, but eating Taco Bell makes your anus bleed.

What do you call a Taco Bell merged with a Weinerschnitzel?

A beanerschnitzel.

I’m so sorry...

Jealous of the success of the Travis Scott burger, Kylie Jenner has signed a deal with a competing chain.

Coming soon: Eat Kylie's Taco at a Taco Bell near you.

Bought a huge flatscreen tv for $20 in an alley way after eating fast food

But when I got home and plugged it in a big Taco Bell menu popped up

Guys I'm having a taco emergency

Call 9 Juan Juan

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What does the day of election and Taco Tuesday have in common?

So much shit is going down today.

I can be the Taco Beast...

...If you're my Taco Belle!

What does a chicken taco say?

Guawk guawk!!

So you've all heard about the neutron that walks into a bar, but what about...

A neutrino walks into a Mexican Restaurant. He orders a taco with extra chili sauce. The bartender comes up to his table with a taco and a gigantic bottle of super-hot chili sauce. He opens the taco, starts pouring sauce and asks:

"So how much salsa do you want, amigo?"

The neutrino a...

Growing up in Canada, Taco Bell commercials were surprisingly different.

At the end of each ad, they sang: "Make a run...for the border. And then the next border."

Mama Toyota asked her son what he wanted for lunch

Son replies "a Taco,ma."

An Irish, a Mexican and an American were having lunch on a scaffold on the 15th floor of a building construction.

Irish opened his lunch box and exclaimed "Colcannon again! If I have colcannon for lunch tomorrow I will jump off this scaffold"

The Mexican opened his lunch box and cried "Burritos as usual! If I have burritos one more time I will jump off too."

The American opened his lunch box and s...

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