They say fast food is bad for you...

so I ate a sloth.

Where do monkeys go to get their fast food?

Burger Kong.

What is a Pirate’s favorite fast food restaurant?

...Long John Silvers. Most probably thought I was gonna say “Arrrrby’s.” Lol

A little old couple walked into a fast food restaurant.

The little old man walked up to the counter, ordered the food, paid, and took the tray back to the table where the little old lady sat. On the tray was a hamburger, a small bag of fries and a drink. Carefully the old man cut the hamburger in two, and divided the fries into two neat piles. He sipped ...

Bought a huge flatscreen tv for $20 in an alley way after eating fast food

But when I got home and plugged it in a big Taco Bell menu popped up

Which fast food produces the most radiation?

>!Fission chips. !<

Today I took my infant son to his favorite fast food place...

"Welcome to Gerber King! May I take your order?"

A fat man goes into a fast food restaurant and orders his food. The cashier says that it will be a minute or two for his food. Finally his food is ready. The cashier hands the food to the fat guy and tells him,

"Sorry about your weight."

A guy goes to a fast food shop.

He goes to the counter and asks the worker (old lady) for a burger without onions. The lady takes a couple minutes inside the kitchen and comes back saying to the guy: “I’m sorry darling but we’ve run out of onions, can I offer you a burger without tomatoes instead”.

i got a wrong fast food order delivered today with NOTHING in it

i wanted mcdonalds but got jack in the box

A fast food employee dropped my burger patty on the floor before serving it to me.

They said it was ground beef.

What do you call a fast food company that also manufactures airliners?

McDonald's Douglas

Have you heard the movie that they’re making about fast food?

It’s getting filmed in Greece.

What did the pirate say when he dropped his fast food order?

Arrr! Me harteys!!!

When Hannibal gets fast food, what does he order?

A kids meal, with extra kids.

Whats a Spiders Favorite Fast Food Item

French Flys

What are the two kinkiest fast food chains?

Subway and Domino's.

Have you noticed the fast food is tastier lately?

Because the food industry workers are finally washing their hands!

Oh, have you heard about the new Spanish fast food place?

I think it’s called KFSí.

An elderly couple walk into a fast food restaurant.

They order one hamburger, one order of fries and one drink.

The old man unwraps the plain hamburger and carefully cuts it in half. He places one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counts out the fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placing one pile in front of his wife. He...

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Salon and Fast food

The hair salon near where I live, has a special offer where you get free McDonalds whilst you wait for your color to set. . .

It's called "Eat crap & dye".

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Which fast food joint would you like to see in space?

Personally, I'd love to see Five Guys on Uranus

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I'm done. Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint.

What makes it worse is that I live in a small town, so business is pretty limited and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates.

I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken.

I'm socially awkwa...

What do you call a fast food chain run by slaves?

Three Guys

What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?

Chick Fillet

Everytime I eat fast food I can talk to dead people...

Maybe I should quit ordering the medium fries.

I've got a great idea for a NBA themed Fast Food restaurant. I call it...

Shake-Shaq

Our local monastery has opened a fast food outlet.

I went in and said to the guy "Hi, are you the deep fat friar?"

He said "No, I'm the chip monk."

Old couple goes to a fast food restorant.

They order one burger and fries, sit down and divide the burger and fries. A man from table next to them sees that and asks politely: "If you want, I can buy some extra food for you." "No thanks, we are a old couple, we share everything." Time goes by and the man is eating, but the woman is not. Fro...

My fast food addiction is really starting to cause me issues.

For starters, I can't find anywhere in New York that does a decent cheetah sandwich.

Every time I go through a fast food window

They hand me my food and say “sorry about the weight.” I know I could lose a few pounds but this is just rude.

What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint?

Five Guys.

What's Peter pans favourite fast food restaurant?

Wendy's

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I finally figured out why fast food sandwiches look so shitty

It's because they're inbread

Two priests decided to open a fast food joint.

The first became a fish friar, while the other became a chip monk.

First rule of Fast Food management:

Always put the employee with the worst accent on the drive-through.

Which fast food chain would be a good basketball player?

Dunkin' Donuts

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A Chinese woman goes to a local fast food restaurant.

The cashier: “What can I get you ma’am?”

The woman orders.

The cashier then jumps over the counter and begins groping and attempting to kiss the woman in public,

The woman freaks out and pushed him away screaming “Why you do dis??”

The cashier says: “You said you wanted ...

Where do fast food places get those square fish for the filet-o-fish sandwiches?

From the asquarium.

What do you call an American's God-given right to fast food?

Manifest Density

The Parish Fast Food Shop

One day, the local parish decided to open a fast food restaurant, so they can make some more money on the side as church attendance was dropping. Being the smart people that they were, they divided themselves so each person does one job.

The fast food restaurant was doing quite well, and the...

Why do Cannibals go to Germany when they want same fast food?

Because its full of Frankfurters and Hamburgers

Why wouldn't the pimp eat at the fast food restaurant?

He preferred his meals Ho-made.

What’s the most aggressive fast food business right now?

its nacho business

I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself.

Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?

Why wasn't Taco Bell featured at the White House's fast food feast?

Because Trump would have expected them to pay for the whole meal.

A dung beetle goes for fast food...

Orders a Number 2

The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating...

But hey, it's all water over the bridge.

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Even if Hitler had only run a fast food chain, it would have turned out terribly...

I mean, who wants to order the "Arbeit Macht Fries"?

What does a neckbeard call a woman he meets at a fast food joint?

McLady.

Why does animal hate fast food?

Because It keeps running away from them

how much is a life-time supply of fast food?

Not much.

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Which fast food joint is a euphemism for female masturbation?

Jack in the box. (Jackin the box)

It's quite appropriate that fast food cashiers...

often open with "sorry for the weight".

What is a common question at lizards' fast food joints?

You want flies with that?

If you drop a piece of bread and Pizza from a roof, which of them will hit the ground first?

The pizza, because it is a fast food.

What does a shark call a jet-skier?

Fast food. (I’m so sorry)

Read this on an anniversary special edition of Reader's Digest

Julius Caesar was coming out of a fast food restaurant when Brutus bumped into him and asked,"How are the burgers, Julius?

Julius replied, "Ate two, Brute!"

Chicken Addiction

A guy really wanted to eat chicken. He was craving it for a while and he decided to go get some. But, he didn't want any of the fast food type chicken. So, he decided to cook it himself.

He goes to the butcher to buy it. The butcher gave him a live chicken. The man, surprised, asked the butch...

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Bicycles are bad for national economy

Oh Yes Mr. Reader, Bicycles are bad for national economy, even if its sounds ridiculous but it is always true that: -

Cycling is a danger to the country

Now reasons:

• He doesn't buy cars

• He doesn't take loans

• He does not insure the car

• He doesn't b...

A funny story written by some of my Chinese students, 10/11 years old. i hope it makes you laugh

The Foolish Farmer


 
A long time ago, there was a farmer who had never been to the city before. One day, he went to the supermarket in the city. He saw a rubber that was like a small car. He asked the seller, “Why is this car so small?”
 


The seller replied, “ Its not a c...

I wanted to get healthier

So, I gave up alcohol, pizza, fast food, junk food, and chocolate.

So far, I've lost 10 pounds and my will to live.

Why do the French like escargot so much?

Well, they've long expressed their disdain for fast food.

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smelly and colored dick

One guy comes straight from a fast food restaurant with a hamburger in one hand and a cup of cola in the other. Equipped like this he goes straight to the toilet. Standing in there he tells another guy that he can't put his drink or his food down because of a lack of space. So he asks the other man ...

Apparently there’s a beef shortage on the rise.

Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn’t be affected.

Job application...

This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast food establishment.
Not sure if they hired him....


NAME - Greg Bulmash


DESIRED POSITION - Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be a...

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TIL that McDonald's and police use the same training material.

It's a 5 step de-escalation procedure. You know, a kind that some corporate HR would come up. Ones with corny, forced acronyms. But this one actually works pretty well:

1. Believe
2. Listen
3. Apologize
4. Satisfy
5. Thank the customer

So when a customer gets all pissy abou...

Subway

Friend: Why do you always eat at Subway.

Me: It is the healthiest of the fast food options

Friend: Do you usually order one of the vegetable or low.
calorie sandwiches

Me: No, but I at least have to get out of the car.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer call the guy that ran from him?

Fast food.

Obesity is a problem and needs to be dealt with immediately

But remember, 50% off fast food restaurants for the month of August. Help the economy

I have started eating McDonalds after deciding to run a marathon.

I need some fast food

Why did the cannibal not eat Usain Bolt?

They’re cutting back on fast food.

At the doctors office...

Doctor: Your physical results came in. Dont eat anything fatty.

Man: What like Burgers, bacon, fast food?

Doctor: No fatty, dont eat anything.

A man walks into a bar....

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink. The bartender is a robot. The robot serves the man his drink and asks the man "What is your IQ?" The man says "150." The robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming, nanotechnology, and quantam physics. The man is very impressed and decides to ...

I'm thinking of moving to Colorado

When I get there, I'll open a combination dispensary and fast food restaurant.
I'll call it the Burger Joint.

If Jack the Ripper was...

...transported to current times and wanted a fast food meal before carrying on his dasterdly deeds in our time what might an appropriate dining establishment be called?




Chick-fil-A

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Doctor: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live."

Man: "Doc, what on Earth are you saying?”, clearly shocked. “What can I do to live at least a little longer?"

Doc: "Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?"

Man: "Yes."

Doc: "You must stop!"

Man: "If it allows me to live longer, I'll do it!"

Doc: "Do you drink...

What did the bear say to the other bear after Ronald McDonald ran away from him?

That’s the problem with fast food

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