Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

The condiments are in the final stretch of their yearly race...

The condiments are in the final stretch of their yearly race. Mayo Naise is in the lead, but suddenly Mustard von Spice passes him. As he does, he looks back and mocks:

"Try to ketch up!"

Where do food condiments go when they need to see a doctor?

The Mayo clinic

Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York...

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiti...

What do you call a south american ship full of condiments thats sinking?

Sinko de mayo

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Which condiment needs to use the bathroom urgently

Must-turd

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If we had to describe groups of people with only one condiment, Redditors would be...

Olive oil: Fat and extra virgin

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After my girlfriend put a condiment up my butt without consent, I would not leave my bed for weeks

I will not stand for sexual ass salt

What is a procrastinator's favorite condiment?

Ketchup

I take all condiment advice

with a pinch of salt.

What was a popular condiment in ancient Central America?

Mayanaise.

A buddha puts a hotdog stand and gets a customer...

"I want one with everything!" says the guy to the solemn looking monk. With ceremonious presicion and speed the guy virtually assembles the hot dog with all the sauces, condiments and extras in mid air.

Within seconds he hands the hotdog to the baffled guy. "That'll be 5 dollars sir."
...

A boy asked his dad, “What’s a condom meant for?” The father replied...

“Condiments are used to add flavor to certain foods, most commonly hot dogs and burgers.”

How does a spanish condiment identify itself?

Soy sauce

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When I went to a Japanese restaurant for the first time, I couldn't understand why this condiment stung a lot. But then I realised..

It was a bee.

I hate only two things, sandwich condiments and french paintings that are completely random.

ESPECIALLY MANETS

I have a weakness for casual fast food....

That's why I keep a condiment in my wallet.

I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.

But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.

Apparently the Titanic had a lot of condiments on board

The ketchup and mustard werr carried off on the life rafts and people ate it while they were waiting for help. But one condiment was left behind... it was discovered slightly less than a month later at the bottom of the sea. Mexico suffered greatly from the loss and decided to commemorate the day ev...

A man walks up to an Indian hot dog vendor

Smirking to himself, he says, "Make me one with everything!" before handing over a twenty dollar bill.

The vendor chuckles good-naturedly before doing exactly that, piling a hot dog high with various condiments before handing it over. The man accepts it, but hesitates. "Where's my change?"...

Did you hear about the injured condiment?

He had to be rushed to the Mayo Clinic.

I was fired from my job in a restaurant kitchen for refusing to slice up one of the condiments with a knife...

I just didn't cut the mustard.

TIFU by mixing condiments up.

This is seems to be the wrong sub.

Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning?

That's how he mustard the troops.

On a hot summer day, a woman has a hankering for a hotdog.

She walks to the nearest hotdog stand and gets in line. Looking up to the front of the queue, she sees an elderly gentleman ordering a bratwurst. He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it, and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.

Puzzled, the woman watches as the...

My Hubby

My hubby said to me, "you remind me of a pepper pot", I said "I'll take that as a condiment".

An old man was explaining to his grandson about major things that happened in his life.

“Now most people associate salsa as a Mexican condiment”, he said. “But actually we loved mayonnaise”. “Wow!”, said the boy. “Most people don’t know that in 1912 after docking in New York, the titanic’s next stop was the eastern shores of Mexico. And below the deck was 15 tons of mayo. As we all kno...

How can you prevent a food baby?

Always use a condiment.

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A man invents a device that makes food come to life

He's been working on this project for years, his family, those he trusted enough to tell, never believed in him. "Now they'll see" he thought. His device was ready and he got out a small piece of ham from the refrigerator and placed it into the containment chamber. He crossed his fingers and pushed ...

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The Mysterious Bottle of Ketchup

A man wants to throw a party, so he heads into a grocery store looking for supplies. He grabs a shopping cart and combs through the aisles, grabbing everything he could possibly need for the party.

He's about to head out and he does a final mental check of the things he needs. He realises he...

A coke dealer is waiting for a customer at a diner

the customer sits down, slides over the money, the dealer slides over a bag of white powder. At that moment the cops burst in to arrest the dealer and the buyer. The dealer quickly says "it's just some caster sugar to put on his pie", a cop doesn't believe him and checks the white powder, it is inde...

I have a horse named Mayo

He really like condiments. When he wants one Mayo neighs

Teens these days often forget to practice safe eating

Always use condiments

What’s the best way to practice safe eating habits?

By using condiments.

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A little boy gets a cow boy outfit for his birthday...

and goes into the local ice cream shop. He's dressed in his chaps, a vest, a cowboy hat, a kerchief, a black mask and a double set of holster with two plastic guns. He runs through the doorway of the shop and the woman behind the counter recognizes him immediately as the little boy down the street. ...

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I think you are amayonazing!

I'd take it as a condiment.

I had just stuck my wiener into some golden buns when I realized...

I forgot a condiment.

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