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Three college girls went to a sushi restaurant

After having a few drinks, the first girl said "I just ate 3 dozens of fish" after eating a fish egg sushi.

The girl beside her heard it and responded "That would mean I ate three to four chickens" while staring at her remaining Tamagoyaki (Japanese egg roll).

The third girl burped an...

Even Though it's been 20 years since my Grandfather choked to death on a piece of sushi

It's still pretty raw

I asked my Sushi Chef what his favorite roll was. .

he said payroll.

What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wasabi

A cannibal wanted some sushi

So he bought a pack of ra-men

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Financial collapse in Japan

Origami Bank has folded.


Sumo Bank has gone belly up.


Bonsai Bank has had to cut back some of its branches.


Karaoke Bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.


There's something fishy going on at Sushi Bank...shareholders are afraid they...

How does Lady Gaga like her sushi?

Ra-ra-raw-raw Ra-ra-raw-raw.

Expensive sushi

That's s raw deal

What did the sushi say to the bee?

WASABI.



Ah, best lame joke ever.

My girlfriend used to be a vegan and post on r/vegan all the time. But then she got addicted to Sushi...

And only posts on r/aww

What's a soldier's favorite type of sushi?

A combat roll

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What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the meat.

Also.....


What's similar between dildo and sushi?

Both are meat substitutes.


K imma go, this has been too meaty.

My mother claims that raw fish keeps disappearing from our refrigerator

It's the Ghost of sushi, ma

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What's the best pan to make sushi in?

Japan.

Sushi

...the rolls-rice of Asian seafood

A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant

He heard there was a fishy business.

Did you hear about the new lawyer themed sushi restaurant that opened up the other day?

It's called Sosumi.

My 5 year old hates Sushi. He came up with this stunner last night.

What rhymes with Sushi?

Tushie!

Why does some sushi have the rice on the inside of the seaweed wrap?

That's just how it rolls.

For a little while I thought I found something to replace my love for sushi....

...but alas, it was only tempurary.

Why did the sushi cross the road?

Sushi could get to the other side.

Why doesn't Jesus eat sushi?

Because tacos are more popular in Mexico.

My girlfriend told me that if I took her to get sushi, I didn't have to use a condom after.

She's getting the raw end of that deal!

A man sold his flesh to a cannibalistic sushi shop...

...I guess you could say he's on a roll.

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

At what age did the world's greatest sushi chef begin his training?

Tuna half.

What do sushi makers have in common with Spanish pirates?

They both seek fortuna.

Have you tried the whale sushi?

It's Killer

"This sushi is terrible."

"Sir, this is an aquarium."

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

What's Lady Gaga's favorite food?

Sushi because they serve it raw, raw, raw\-raw\-raw!

(sorry I just saw the guy get to the front page with his stoned asparagus joke, so I wanted to try mine).

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My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food

Sushi left me.

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What did the Japanese chef say to his son when he brought back his girlfriend?

“Sushi’s the one?”

What did Sushie A say to Sushi B?

Wasa-B! Let's roll.

My mom is a sunni, my dad is a shia

I'm sushi.

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A man goes up to the counter to order a Polish sausage.

The cashier asks, “Hey, are you polish?”

The man then responds, “You think I’m polish just because I ordered a Polish sausage? If I ordered a wiener schnitzel would you think I’m German? If I ordered sushi would you think I’m Japanese? If I ordered Pizza would you think I’m Italian?”

T...

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Sex with a Japanese woman...

A lawyer from New York, is on a business trip to Tokyo. In Tokyo he's negotiating a big deal between the company he represents and a Japanese firm. Talks take place in English at a sushi-restaurant in down-town Tokyo, between the businessman and Mr. Oki, head of the Japanese company.

The neg...

Why are octopi easily duped when it comes to eating seafood?

They’re suckers for sushi

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My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

A Sunni and a Shia Muslim have a child together

They name her Sushi

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Last night, my sexy Japanese friend asked me out for dinner.

"Hey, you wanna go for sushi? It's on me."

It's funny 'cause I paid the bill.

Three builders are eating lunch on a building they’re working on

It’s about 7 stories up and they’re dangling their feet on the end of the building. The first builder opens his lunch box and sees a tuna sandwich. He said that if his wife packs him a tuna sandwich one more time he’ll jump off the building. The second building opens his lunch box and sees a hotdog....

Funeral Plans

When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered in the sea.

So when my family eats sushi they'll think of me.

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A businessman travels to Japan...[nsfw]

the American businessman arrives a day early for his meeting with his Japanese business colleague and being quite the tourist he decides to hit the the town. He goes to a couple of sushi bars and loosens up a bit, he meets an attractive women at one of the karaoke bars and after quite a while of tr...

What is a cucumber and a dolphin doing in the same room?

Sushi

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A Mexican, American and Japanese man are standing on the top of the world's tallest building...

They are told to throw off something their country has a lot of.

The Japanese man goes first: he throws off sushi.

The Mexican then proceeds to throw off tacos.

And then the American pushes the Mexican off.

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