What did the sushi say to the bee?

WASABI.



Ah, best lame joke ever.

How does Lady Gaga like her sushi?

Ra-ra-raw-raw Ra-ra-raw-raw.

A cannibal wanted some sushi

So he bought a pack of ra-men

I asked my Sushi Chef what his favorite roll was. .

he said payroll.

Sushi

A woman goes up to the Sushi counter and asks the guy serving "Do you have fish balls"?

And he says "No, just normal size".

This sushi is terrible!

.....Sir, this is an aquarium.

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An American businessman goes to Japan for the meeting of his career.

He arrives a day early to prepare for the meeting, he tries some sushi and sake at a local restaurant. Feeling tempted to try more "local cuisine" he hires an escort for the evening. Night falls and he takes his escort up to his hotel room for some fun, he gives her all he's got and he knows she's l...

What did the sushi say to the bumblebee?

Wasabi

What is the sushi chef's dream car?

rolls rice

How do you comfort a grieving sushi chef?

Wasabi for your loss.

What's my favorite kind of sushi?

Payroll

It's twenty one years since my father choked to death while eating sushi...

And its still pretty raw....

Why do dinosaurs like sushi?

Because they like their food ROAR!!!

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I asked my Japanese girlfriend to make me a traditional dish tasty enough to make me fall in love with her national cuisine.

Sushi did.

I tried pulling a Schrodinger's Cat joke while eating dinner with my parents at a sushi bar.

They didn't laugh, but the fresh fish brought out to us started gasping and twitching all of a sudden.

What's a soldier's favorite type of sushi?

A combat roll

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Three college girls went to a sushi restaurant

After having a few drinks, the first girl said "I just ate 3 dozens of fish" after eating a fish egg sushi.

The girl beside her heard it and responded "That would mean I ate three to four chickens" while staring at her remaining Tamagoyaki (Japanese egg roll).

The third girl burped an...

Expensive sushi

That's s raw deal

A muslim couple decided to have a baby.

The day of labour came and Doctor came out of the maternity ward with a grim look on his face.

Father asked what was wrong.

Doctor asked the father, which type of muslim he was.

"I am a sunni muslim," father replied.

"And your wife?"

"She is a shiite."

Docto...

Why does some sushi have the rice on the inside of the seaweed wrap?

That's just how it rolls.

At what age did the world's greatest sushi chef begin his training?

Tuna half.

Did you hear about the new lawyer themed sushi restaurant that opened up the other day?

It's called Sosumi.

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What's the best pan to make sushi in?

Japan.

Sushi

...the rolls-rice of Asian seafood

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Financial collapse in Japan

Origami Bank has folded.


Sumo Bank has gone belly up.


Bonsai Bank has had to cut back some of its branches.


Karaoke Bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.


There's something fishy going on at Sushi Bank...shareholders are afraid they...

What did Sushie A say to Sushi B?

Wasa-B! Let's roll.

What's Lady Gaga's favorite food?

Sushi because they serve it raw, raw, raw\-raw\-raw!

(sorry I just saw the guy get to the front page with his stoned asparagus joke, so I wanted to try mine).

For a little while I thought I found something to replace my love for sushi....

...but alas, it was only tempurary.

What type of sushi does Bob Seger like?

That Old Thai Moroccan Roll.

Why did the sushi cross the road?

Sushi could get to the other side.

A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant

He heard there was a fishy business.

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My first time posting here, made up this one late night so, please be gentle with me kind stranger...

So a Cambodian guy walks into a bar,
He orders a drink from the bartender.
The bartender was new to the place and hasn't seen much foreigners so confused by the customer's race he makes conversation saying.
"Hey your people are famous for their great sushi I've heard"

The guy looks...

What do sushi makers have in common with Spanish pirates?

They both seek fortuna.

A man sold his flesh to a cannibalistic sushi shop...

...I guess you could say he's on a roll.

My 5 year old hates Sushi. He came up with this stunner last night.

What rhymes with Sushi?

Tushie!

Why doesn't Jesus eat sushi?

Because tacos are more popular in Mexico.

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What's the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the meat.

Also.....


What's similar between dildo and sushi?

Both are meat substitutes.


K imma go, this has been too meaty.

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What did the Japanese chef say to his son when he brought back his girlfriend?

“Sushi’s the one?”

Tuna walks into a sushi restaurant...

...says to the chef, "Hey, you killed my father!" Chef says to the tuna, "That's my business, fish."

Tuna thinks about it, says "Then i challenge you to a game of chess. If i win, you stop being a chef forever." "And if i win?" asks the chef. "Then you can feed me to your customers." tuna re...

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Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song w...

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My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food

Sushi left me.

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My friend said to me, "Whenever a World Cup game is on, let's eat something to do with that team for dinner that night."

Mexico was on, we had burritos.
Japan was on, we had sushi.
USA was on, we had burgers.
Italy was on, we had pizza.
Tuesday is England, so we're going out.

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Sex with a Japanese woman...

A lawyer from New York, is on a business trip to Tokyo. In Tokyo he's negotiating a big deal between the company he represents and a Japanese firm. Talks take place in English at a sushi-restaurant in down-town Tokyo, between the businessman and Mr. Oki, head of the Japanese company.

The neg...

My sushi preparation class had a kleptomanniac as a substitute teacher

She took roll

My girlfriend told me that if I took her to get sushi, I didn't have to use a condom after.

She's getting the raw end of that deal!

Have you tried the whale sushi?

It's Killer

My mom is a sunni, my dad is a shia

I'm sushi.

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A Japanese, an American, a Swede and an Arab were on a bus

The Japanese throws a bag of Sushi out of the window.

Arab: Why did you do that?

Japanese: It doesn't matter, we have a lot of it in Japan anyway.

The American throws some money out of the window.

Arab: Why did you do that?

American: It doesn't matter, we have a lo...

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A man goes up to the counter to order a Polish sausage.

The cashier asks, “Hey, are you polish?”

The man then responds, “You think I’m polish just because I ordered a Polish sausage? If I ordered a wiener schnitzel would you think I’m German? If I ordered sushi would you think I’m Japanese? If I ordered Pizza would you think I’m Italian?”

T...

A Sunni and a Shia Muslim have a child together

They name her Sushi

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Last night, my sexy Japanese friend asked me out for dinner.

"Hey, you wanna go for sushi? It's on me."

It's funny 'cause I paid the bill.

Pick up lines

Are you sushi? Because I like it raw

My mother claims that raw fish keeps disappearing from our refrigerator

It's the Ghost of sushi, ma

Why are octopi easily duped when it comes to eating seafood?

They’re suckers for sushi

Funeral Plans

When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes scattered in the sea.

So when my family eats sushi they'll think of me.

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A businessman travels to Japan...[nsfw]

the American businessman arrives a day early for his meeting with his Japanese business colleague and being quite the tourist he decides to hit the the town. He goes to a couple of sushi bars and loosens up a bit, he meets an attractive women at one of the karaoke bars and after quite a while of tr...

What is a cucumber and a dolphin doing in the same room?

Sushi

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A Mexican, American and Japanese man are standing on the top of the world's tallest building...

They are told to throw off something their country has a lot of.

The Japanese man goes first: he throws off sushi.

The Mexican then proceeds to throw off tacos.

And then the American pushes the Mexican off.

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